


Just Another Danganronpa Slice Of Life

by Fatalityapples



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Comedy, Dangan Ronpa 3 Spoilers, Dangan Ronpa Spoilers, Fluff and Humor, Komanami-centric, Masturbation, Multi, New Dangan Ronpa V3 Spoilers, Non-Despair Enoshima Junko, OC Parents - Freeform, One Sided Gundham/Sonia, SHSL Attorney Hajime, School Projects, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Some Ships Take Longer to Devleop, Some brief mentions of Watchmen crossover, Somewhat crack, Super Dangan Ronpa 2 Spoilers, Teen Romance, Underage Drinking, V3 Are The 79, fast burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-18 18:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 59
Words: 123,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14218761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fatalityapples/pseuds/Fatalityapples
Summary: Why is romance in high school so damn hard?





	1. The Class 77 Gets Smashed

**Author's Note:**

> This chapters a bit of a clusterfuck because I somehow tried to cram all of the Class 77 set up plots into the one chapter. Anyway, there's alot of headcannons (especially revolving around Hajime and how he joined the class 77) that will be explained in later flashback stories (If it even gets to that point lol, it's probably gonna die before the 3rd chapter).

**_Brrrrrrrrrrring._ **

The school bell rung out throughout the halls, signalling the end of another day of tiering writing and reading. Usually students would go their separate ways, say goodbye to their peers and go home to study.

This was not the case with the class 77.

During the first week of school, Chiaki (with help from Chisa) had arranged a weekly meet-up where all the students would group up and go “somewhere” together after school. To her credit, the meet up had played a pivotal role in building up the bonds between the class but now that the class was a year in too their time a hopes peak, problems started to arise.

The trips had become a melting pot of awkwardness, because while every person of the same gender knew who the others had a crush on, they were somehow oblivious to the fact that they, themselves were under the same surveillance. And god save you if you asked your friends for advice…

“Hey Hajime?”

“Eh?”

“Do girls like guys who tell…jokes?”

“Nagito, you know you’re my best friend, but your joke game is servilely lacking”

The white-haired boys face scrunched up before falling to acceptance.

“You’re right, trash like me could never have the sense of humour to woo someone like her”.

“No, no that’s not what I mean.” Hajime said defensively “It’s just that…you’re only joke is talking about wood alcoh- “

Before Hajime could finish, Nagito was already on the floor, laughing and crying like he’d just been hit with alpha-grade tear gas.

“See, look, why is that so funny…”

“Because it makes people die!”

“Yes, because Chiaki fucking Nanami will think dying of alcohol poisoning is hilarious”

At the mention of that name, Nagito became gravely serious.

“Maybe she would, you don’t know!”

“I think I could make a guess…”

“Yeah well, whatever! I’ll save it up then, it’ll be my ace in the hole”.

Hajime just shook his head.

The boys walked back to the outside off the school…

“Hey, hey”

Only to be taken by surprise by the person they were referring to earlier. Luckily for Nagito, Hajime very quickly stepped in front of him too avoid Chiaki asking why Nagito had been shock with the force of 1,600 volts.

“So where are we going?”

“There’s this bar uptown, Fuyuhiko said he could get us in.”

“By threatening to break the bouncers kneecaps?” Hajime replied, to which Nagito chuckled. Chiaki just pouted.

“Of course not. I’m sure he has another way…”

The three of them quickly joined back up with the crowd, where, already, an argument had broken out.

“I call bullshit, one hundred percent bullshit!” That was Kazuichi.

“I will surrender nothing. The molten ecstasy known to mortals as “alcohol” has no effect on me, Gundham Tanka, eternal lor- “I think you could guess who that was.

“10 Shots of whiskey and I’ll be convinced”

Sonia immediately swooped in at the chance to berate Kazuichi. “Souda, I can’t believe you’d challenge him to something so idiotic”.

“I agree princess, I have nothing to prove to you…” He said proudly…until a certain Ultimate Rockstar butted in.

“What’s this Ibuki hears about a drinking contest?”

Kazuichi immediately sensed the chance to help his friend out and spin the situation.

“Y-Yeah, Tanaka said alcohol has no effect on him, so I challenged him to drink 10 shots”

“Oh wow! That’d be totally super awesome” Ibuki said, in awe.

Gundham was starting to doubt his previous stance.

“Yes well, I have nothing to prove, but…” changing his tone as soon as he saw Ibukis expression darken

“I guess I can do it, as long as the man of metal is supplying.”

“How about halfsies?”

“It’s a done deal”

“YAY!” screamed Ibuki grabbing onto Gundham, who instinctively pulled up his scarf to hide his reddening face. Somehow, neither noticed Sonias jealous gaze staring hole in the back of Miodas head.

And with that, they were off, walking to the station and onto the train, where they all divulged into their usual antics. Imposter explaining the different types of drinks to anyone who asked, Nagito and Hajime played a game of who could stare at the people sitting on the stops the weirdest without getting called out, Gundham, Fuyuhiko and Souda analysed where the trash left on the train had come from and made up crazy backstory’s behind it, and Teruteru very loudly proclaimed how he would like to “do” the other half of the class (thank god they rode separate carriages).

Speaking of separate carriages…

“You do realize he decided to drink ten just too impress you?” Mahiru smirked at Ibuki.

“N-no way, Gundham wouldn’t even care” Ibuki said, attempting (keyword) to make it look like the possibility not even entering her mind at this juncture 

“Sure” Mahiru replied, not so convinced. “Either way, if he dies from alcohol poisoning, his blood is on your hands” She said with a giggle, too which Ibuki returned.

On the flip side of this positive conversation you had:

“Maybe it’s because he’s a total creep. That or he’s gay.” Hiyoko spat.

“He’s not a total creep! C’mon Tsumiki, Nagitos okay, right?” Chiaki asked, as she sat with the two girls.

“I-I mean, there was that t-time he electrocuted himself”.

“Twice” Hiyoko added.

“Only one of those was intentional!” Chiaki tried to defend, only half awake.

“A-and t-that time he and Hajime l-locked Juzo in the staff room and weren’t going to let him out. “

“That was Hajimes idea…I think” Chiaki said, her ground for defence gradually dwindling.

“A-and...”

“Let me cut you off their pig barf! What about how he weirdly gets off on people calling him trash or, and here’s the big one Chiaki, when he called in a fucking bomb threat” Hiyoko said, contempt in her voice.

“I guess he was trying to help us…” Chiaki replied but it was clear her defence was dwindling. “I… I just don’t see why he’s doesn’t talk to me unless Hajimes there. He’s always so… weird when he does, I’ve seen him talking with Hajime and he doesn’t act like that at all. I wish there were video games that explained stuff like this. Dating Sims don’t really cover all the grounds”.

She looked up too see Mikan about to burst into tears:

“MAYBE HE DOESN’T LIKE YOU BECAUSE OF ME! IS IT BECAUSE OF ME? IT HAS TO BE BECAUSE OF ME!” 

*Sigh* this was going to the longest 10 minutes Chiaki had ever sat through.

* * *

Eventually after what felt like an hour of Mikan crying on and off, they finally made it off the train. Chiaki was determined to try and isolate Nagito from Hajime, so he would have to talk to her… when she thought about it like that it kind of sounded evil.

Meanwhile, Hajime was giving Nagito a romance pep talk because god knows he needed one.

“Nagito, I’m the ultimate ace attorney, the whole school believes in my persuasive speaking”

“You got to pick your talent”

“That’s beside the point! Now here’s a good tip, imagine her with her underwea-No actually don’t do that. Just, just, just…oh my god!”

Nagito had grabbed a notepad and pen from his backpack and was listing intently

“This, this…” Hajime said, pointing at the notepad. “None of this!”

“Why?”

“Don’t try and script things. It won’t work. Just be yourself”

“But I’m trash”

It was at this moment that Hajime wanted to inflict every painful thing onto Nagito.

“She doesn’t need to know that. Tell her whatever you like, what you like to do, what you like to eat, what you find funny."

“So that means…

“No.”

“WOOD ALCOHOL. See I knew it!” Nagito said, running off with the force of a child who had had drank an entire barrel of soft drink.

“Nanami, I pray for you.”

* * *

 

After a few minutes of walking through the streets they finally got to the bar. It was an old rundown wood building, with old style saloon windows. A big dude with sunglasses and a neon coloured tat of a dragon running down his arm was waiting outside.

As the whole class walked up, the bouncer stopped them in their tracks.

“Even wearing these glasses, I can see that not a single one of you is twenty-one.” He said with a rough voice.

Fuyuhiko calmly took a breath and daintily stepped up to the man. Chiaki leaned over to Hajime and Nagito “See I told you…” she whispered before turning back around to see the ultimate Yazuka screaming:

“I’M THE HEIR TO THE GOD DAMN YAZUKA! IF YOU DON’T LET US IN, I’M GONNA BREAK YOUR FUCKING KNEECAPS PAL!”

It was strange, the man looked legitimately scared of the younger boy, who was currently up to his chest even on his tip toes.

“Fine, fine, your in.” he said, lower lip trembling. As Peko grabbed Fuyuhiko aside pushing him into the bar.

“Sorry for the inconvenience” she said with a sorry smile, trying to cover up the screams of “SLEDGEHAMMER RIGHT THERE! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BE WALKING RIGHT FOR THE NEXT FUCKING YEAR!”

* * *

 

“Let the deadly 10 glasses…begin!”

Just as Gundham was about to start drinking, Ibuki walked over, sitting down on the stool next to him.

“What brings you here, maiden of music?”

“Ibukis not going to miss out on someone downing 10 shots of Jack for some boring “talk to her friends” time.”

Kazuichi smirked, looking at Gundham.

“The heats on! Time to start for real this time, 3…2…You’ve already downed four. Okay.”

* * *

 

This was her chance. Nagito was sitting in a booth by himself. Hajime had gone to get a cocktail (and if she knew Hajime, he needed it exact), this was her chance.

“Hey, hey” she said as she sat down in the double seater opposite to Super High School Level Luck.

“Hey.” He said…actually normally with no stutter.

_Well he’s actually speaking too me for a change._

“Have you seen how long he takes with that stuff?” Nagito said with a laugh.

“Hmph, tell me about it.” She replied looking over at the brunette boy.

“Lemon slice on the side. NO! Not that side, the other side. That’s not the god damn side, that’s the middle.”

The bartender finally looked it on the exact right angle, before looking up at Hajime with frustration.

“What liquor?” He asked through clinched teeth

“1.2oz cranberry juice, 2. oz pineapple, 3 ice cubes, and a few drops of rum”.

“Okay, 2. oz pineapple…”

“THE CRANBERRY GOES IN FIRST!”

Chiaki looked back at Nagito “I give it 5 more minutes before the bartender goes at him with that axe on the wall.” Nagito said, getting a light laugh out of Chiaki. It was nice, Nagito was acting like an actual normal human being for a change.  
  
“You think he realizes that he’s taking so long?” She replied.

“I wouldn’t know. I can’t really tell what actual ultimates are thinking.” Slipped out of Nagitos mouth like a bit of drool.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that “

“Nagito…” Chiaki said softly “You need to stop putting yourself down so much”.

“But it’s true.” He replied with a smile forming on his face but it wasn’t the same one as before, the look in his eyes, the way the despair swirled around them. It was frightening to say the least.

Suddenly, the boy’s eyes snapped back to normal.

“Sorry what did you say?” He said, almost like nothing that had just happened had happened. “O-oh, nothing”. That was weird, and he did it constantly. Every time she felt she was close to getting to know him better, he’d snap like that, going all strange.

It was funny that even though Hajime had only moved into their class at the end of the year, he was already one of her closet friends, Nagito on the other hand, had been aloof for most of the year. He barley came to class, would switch up just like he did then and was generally weird…and that was before he tried to blow up the school.

Still there was something endearing about him, maybe it was that time…

“Bundaberg? Seriously? What the hell do they think I am? A Neanderthal?” Hajime said, de-railing Nanamis train of thought like he was a faulty track.

“Dude, you spent like 10 minutes on that thing.”

“Yeah, and it’s probably really bad anyway.”

Hajime sat down unhappily slurping on his straw. Chiaki knew she wasn’t the best socially, but she also knew she was a good judge of character, so why the hell could she not figure out **_anything_** about Nagito.

* * *

 

“10 shots down in under 2 minutes, guess you can just put down a lot of alcohol.” Kazuichi said holding a timer.

“Wow, that was amazing Gundham…and a bit strange, like, how can you do that?”

“It’s a complicated mystical process actually, see…”

“Byeeeee” Ibuki said as she quickly walked away.

“Damn, you really know how to scare them away eh Tanaka?” Kazuichi said laughing his ass off next to the self-proclaimed dark lord.

“Yes Kazuichi, because your romantic exploits with Miss Sonia have gone so much better.”

The mechanics demeanour immediately changed “C’mon man, that was a low blow”, he murmured.

As Ibuki wandered over to her friends, Akane immediately spoke up. “So…how many did he do?”

“10 in under 2 minutes.”

“Damn, even coach Nekomaru couldn’t put down that much…and believe me, he tried.” She said, motioning to the knocked out Nekomaru who Imposter had propped up against a pool table, almost creating the illusion that he was conscious and not out of the game.

“10 shots just to get you to go out with him is pretty impressive” Mahiru said, feigning ignorance

“He was going to do it anyway!” Said Ibuki and Sonia at the same time, although the reasons for both of them couldn’t be more different.

“Prove it, go ask him to drink 20 more shots and see if he does it.” Mahiru said.

“Fine!” Ibuki said, storming off in a huff and back too Gundham, handing him 30 bucks.

“Twenty more shots.”

Gundham flinched, a look of tedium struck his face. Luckily for him, Kazuichi saw this and pulled him aside.

“As the referee, I’ve got the right to converse with Gundham beforehand”

As the mechanic took the breeder away from the rainbow haired girl, he stated murmuring.

“You gotta do this man.”

“I’ve already proved…”

“This isn’t about proving yourself, this is about making it to first”

“first what?”

“Just…just go drink the shots”

“Fine.”

* * *

 

_Slurp_

_Slurp_

_Slurp_

_Slurp_

That godamn straw. Who drinks a godamn cocktail with a straw. The detective trio of Goodbye Despair was in the middle of a three-way deadlock. Chiaki was annoyed with Nagito’s façade, Nagito was annoyed with the slurping and Hajime was annoyed by the god damn amateur rum. No one wanted to break the silence but they all were unsettled by the silence.

“I’m gonna go grab a drink. Watch this.” Nagito said as he walked over to the bar ignoring Hinatas pleas for him to stay. “Can I have 2 glasses of wood alcohol?”

“Do you mean whiskey?”

“No, wood alcohol.”

The man’s eyes darted side to side, sweat dripping down his face.

“Come with me” he said in a hushed tone, opening a small stairwell behind the bar and leading Nagito through it.

 _What the fuck_ Hajime thought, observing.

Nagito and the scruffy looking bartender walked down the spiral staircase, and eventually they came to a candle lit room. A big cloth was thrown over the fire place with an inscription of the eye.

“Now, before you take the pledge, who recommended you to the cult of the wooden alcohol?”

_Cult? How the hell did I end up in a fucking cult._

“Uh, uh, uh…. Don…”

“Hmmm”

“…Callis” Nagito said, thinking of the last name he heard on TV before going to school.

The man nodded “So, former professional wrestler, Don Callis recommended you?”

“Yes…” Nagito said, sweating enough to fill up precisely 2 public sized swimming pools.

“Ah of course, any friend of Don is a friend of us.”

* * *

 

How? How did Gundham like Ibuki and not her? Sonia thought. It boggled her mind yet here she was watching Gundham drink another 30 shots just to impress the musician. To be fair, the alcohol still seemed to be doing literally nothing and maybe he was just humouring her… that must be it. 

Meanwhile Gundham was still putting shots away like he was a person very concerned about gun safety laws. Something about trading magic for alcohol, no one was really following him. Just as Souda was about to order more on his behalf before an employee stepped in.

“Sire, we’re going to have to demand you stop drinking now”

“Why?! the guy’s still going!” Ibuki yelled, very clearly excited by the events.

“That’s why, the amount he’s drinking is far past the reasonable human limit. If he dies, we don’t want any legalities filed against us”

“Nonsense, I am invulnerable to this weak human elixir”

“We still can’t let you drink. We’re actively losing money every shot you take”

Gundham gave a quick “humph” before asking for the bill.

“So, you’ll pay that in cash upfront?” A small glimmer of hope in the man’s eye.

“Nah man, we were actually going to split the bill.” And that hope was just shattered like a ceramic plate.

“three ways” Ibuki added quickly.

Even in all his years of having an abusive parent, Kazuichi had never seen someone that mad.

* * *

 

**_Nagito_ **

**At 5:00pm**

Please help. I’ve been trapped in an international cult organisation.

“Uh, yeah, Chiaki, I’ve got to go do something.”

“Cool” said the sleepy gamer, who was already taking forty winks anyway.

Hajimes attention quickly diverted from Chiaki too his surroundings.

_So he went through that wood stairwell but its locked with a trapdoor, I need some way to smash through…_

His eyes, somehow made their way to the subtle detail of the screaming bartender chasing Kazuichi, Gundham and Ibuki around with an axe.

“Tanaka, use a magic spell on him or some shit!” Kazuichi said ducking behind the pool table.

“I substituted my magical essence for alcohol resistance!” Gundham joining him.

“Well why did you do that, huh?” Ibuki said, adding another body to the station that was the backside of the pool table.

“Um..because…”

_SMASH!_

Never in his life had Gundham been happier to see a psychotic man holding an axe. Although that would also be the last time because that axe was heading straight for him…

But then it didn’t. With a “I need this”, a skip and a leap over the counter, Hajime Hinata had grabbed the axe and was making a beeline for the trapdoor. _Wonder what the hell's going on down there._

* * *

 

“Look, kid, could you just drink the drink.” The man said holding out a cup of wood alcohol towards Nagito

“Look, I’m feeling a bit isolated right now. Like, look at the cloak you’re wearing. I want the cloak before I drink.”

“No, you get the cloak after the drink, we’ve been over this.”

“Yeah but I really would feel better if I got the clo-

“What the hell’s going on here.” Hajime said, wondering why the cult was confined to a single shitty room.

“Hajime! AHH! You came to save me!” Nagito screamed rushing behind his friend.

“Get you out of here?! Listen here bud, we had a deal”

“Stay back man, I’ve got an axe!” Hajime said as he held onto the weapon in question

“So…you don’t want to join the cult?”

“No, neither of us do.”

“Well, feel free to come back anytime.” Said the cult leader with a sigh.  _Wow...It really was that easy?_ Nagito thought, wondering why he had spent a straight 5 minutes stalling over a cloak.

“With all due respect, any and all of us are probably banned from this bar.” 

“Wait, why?” Said a puzzled Nagito from Hajimes shoulder.

“Long story” Hajime replied, walking away.

“…So, can I still get that clo- “

“No.”

“Okay” The dejected luckster mumbled.

* * *

 

“Everyone here?” Fuyuhiko said, as the class huddled up outside the bar. As Nagito and Hajime reflect on the day, The Ultimate Lucky Student spied Chiaki, with her hood up through the corner of his eye.

“Hold on, Hajime, I just gotta go clear something up.”

Nagito quickly made his approach.

“Hey”

He was met with a small glare in response.

“I’m sorry I went a bit…”

“crazy.” She said not even looking in his general direction.

“I just…”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s fine” Chiaki smiled but Nagito could tell just like his smile from earlier, that she too was putting on a mask.

* * *

 

“I fucked it all up so bad” Nagito said holding his hands over his face.

“You did fuck it up majorly” Hajime said, his hand on Nagitos shoulder.

“Trash like me…”

“Nagito. Stop it.”

“Huh”

“Yeah, you screwed it up big time. Firstly, by creeping her out and then by running off and getting captured by a cult. But you can salvage it. Give it a few days, she’ll get over it. Chiakis like, **the** most forgiving person in the world.”

“Yeah, Yeah, I know but, it’s just… why would someone amazing like her, go out with someone like me?””

“Look…It’s not going to be easy but no one ever said getting a girlfriend was. I’d say you had a much better chance right now then say, a year ago, when you weren’t even talking to her.”

Hajime sighed and regained his composure.

“What I’m trying to say is…If you really love her Nagito, never, ever give up.”

Hajime looked up from his palms to see tears forming in Nagitos eyes.

“Hajime…that was beautiful. If I’m being honest…I had almost forgot what hope was for a bit there.”

“God damn it, I wish I hadn’t said anything now.”

The friends shared a laugh before going home their respective ways. On the train ride home Nagito stared out the window, those words ringing through his brain over and over again.

_If you really love her Nagito, never, ever give up_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also noticed Chiakis a little OOC, so I'll try and rectify that next time I write about Class 77


	2. SHSL Scam Artists

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto and Yasuhiro start up the business venture of a life time.

He was going to die. Makoto Naegi was going to fucking die here. Yasuhiro had given him a note saying to meet in the storage room at lunch time. He didn’t think of the possibility that Yasuhiro was going to lock the door behind him and murder him.

How he was going to die he didn’t know. Maybe gas through the vents, maybe a burning inferno. He didn’t know! That’s when he heard it…the voice that would shake him to his core.

“ _Makoto. Maaaaakoto.”_

The sweet whisper of lifes end travelled into the centre of his brain, ringing throughout his ears. It was the grim reaper…

“Makoto, dude, can you help me up from these boxes?” Or it was Yasuhiro, who had been ensnared by a stack of cardboard boxes.

After Makoto helped him out, Yasuhiro reached into his pocket and pulled out a purple crystal ball. The base was a yellow painted plastic and the actual ball was made out of what appeared to be a regular crystal ball wrapped in purple Styrofoam.

“Now Makoto, do I have the business opportunity of a lifetime for you…” Yasuhiro said pulling out a canvas of poster paper, that showed a crudely drawn Yasuhiro and Makoto stacked up on piles of money.

“Okay, hit me with it man.”

“So, you know how I do real fortune telling’s for expensive prices?”

“Hmm?”

“Well what if I did **fake** fortune tellings for way, way less”

“Why don’t you just keep doing real fortune tellings?”

“W-well…fortune telling takes a lot of effort, and this is a good way to maximise the profits while keeping the trust fund in good investment and then we can invest the cash in interest”

“Honestly tell me how many of those words you know the meanings of?”

“16, and anyway it doesn’t matter…I’ll give you 25% of the profits.”

“And…what do I have to do exactly?”

“Nothing much…just draw a sign, promote it, cover for me and make sales! Now get to it champ” Yasuhiro said handing Makoto a big poster and marker.

* * *

 

“Come s-s-see what your fortune holds today.” Naegi said, shaking like he had hypothermia.

“What’s the matter man?”  
  
“I already told you, it’s like 2 degrees out here, and my hoodies in my locker.”

“Well, get warm because you’ll have your first customer in…3…2…1.”

Naegi swivelled around from the table to see the icy stare of Toko Fukawa gazing right back at him. 

“Oh…hey Fukawa, how are you doin- “

“I-I’m n-not here for p-pleasantries, Makoto. I j-just n-need to know if m-me a-and Byakuya end up getting married s-soon?”

“Oh…” Makotos face dimmed. “R-right, one second.”

“Hagakure…” he said motioning to the counter “she wants to know if her and Byakuya get engaged.”

Yasuhiro made his way over to the counter at a slower pace than should be expected and pulled out the cellophane ball. “Well, well, well…what do we have here?” he said, pretending to observe the balls contents.

“Now I’mma preface this one by saying I just smashed a massive bong rip, so this might not be one…one…one…” Hakagure stayed like that for a solid 5 seconds.

“one hundred percent accurate.” He continued

“Nothing from you would be.” Toko murmured 

“But yeah, doesn’t look like you and Togami are getting together in the near future.”

“Oh…w-well, whatever, h-h-how m-much do I owe you?”

That might be a problem. Makoto and Yasuhiro hadn’t discussed pricing. Yasuhiro had said cheap so…

“Two bucks.”

“Too Low” Yasuhiro groggily said. _This isn’t exactly the right time to be debating on this._

“Ten bucks”

“Too high”

“Six Dollars and fif-Oh, she’s gone.”

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT MAN?” Hakagure said stepping up from his seat and walking over to Makoto

“It’s not my fault you didn’t think of an exact price point.”

“Look, this just isn’t working out, we need someone who has charisma and money and…Byakuya! That’s who I was thinking of.”

“Are you sure he’d agree to something like this?”

“Well aren’t you guys like best buds? Sure, he would.”

As the two students set off to the library, the ultimate clairvoyant didn’t need to use his fortune telling to tell that there was a noticeable lack of spring in Naegis step...

“Something wrong, Makoto? Toko get you down? I told you, she talks shit to everyone.”

“It’s just…it’s nothing, okay?”

“Okay…well if your felling up too it, then maybe help me set up this presentation for Byakuya. We’ve really got to sell this too him. Hear wear these.” In Yasuhiro’s hand were a pair of brightly coloured sunglasses. This was going to go terribly.

* * *

 

“I am on limited time here, please tell me you have something actually worth my time.”

Byakuyas response was met with…1940s classical music?

“No! No! Makoto, Wrong Song!”

“Sorry, hold on”

**Switch!**

_They call me Mr. Fahrenheit, I’m travelling at the speed of light!_

**Switch!**

_SHINING…JUSTICE…BLOOMING SOMEWHERE!_

**Switch!**

_Without you, I fall to pieces! And There’s nothing I can do!_

With one final click of the radio, Makoto finally got the song working again and the room was filled with 80’s techno.

“I liked the previous song considerably more.”

Byakuyas pleas were ignored as Hagakure slid in to the room dressed in a tophat and bowtie.

“Do you want to make trillions, possibly billions of dollars”

And it was at this moment the reality of this pitch hit Bykauya. No matter how good the Makoto bits could be (and he was seriously starting to doubt Makotos involvement in any of this) the Yasuhiro bits would be at least 20X worse. 

“Next slide…next sli-thanks. Well, you can make a billion million dollars with our easy to use, 3 step program. Next slide”  

Byakuya didn’t know how Hagakure managed to merge 3 flashy transitions into one ocular explosion but he was currently looking at a star wipe, a star wipe and…oh that was just three star wipes.

“Now first, we charge people for fortune tellings, but…we make up the fortunes. Next…Opps, sorry this slide got a bit fucked up when I imported it, I don’t know what it’s supposed to say. Uh, Next slide... we profit off the ideas in thesecond slide.”

There was a solid 20 second silence from both parties until a small sound of ear being blown through the air like a raspberry was heard

“Pfft…HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

And before you knew it, Byakuya was close to falling out of his chair. As he composed himself and stood up, he loudly exclaimed:

“That was the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I was utterly appalled by every single second of that performance. I will absolutely help you set this up.  And believe me, as the ultimate Affluent Prodigy, I know what I’m doing.”

* * *

 

“BYAKUYA! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!” A panicked Yasuhiro exclaimed

“I’m creating allure you simple minded peasant!”

“How is calling Asahina a “Crow-Magnun” going to “create allure”” replied Makoto.

“Look, I’ve mastered the art of the pitch. Watch this…”                      

Togami had spied Fukawa from across the yard.

“TOKO!”

The literature girls face lit up when she heard his voice.

“Y-y-yes?”

“Would you like to have your fortune to be read” said Togami through clinched teeth. He had said 11 words to her. That was 11 words too many.

“H-h-ow much?” She said, feigning ignorance to the whole idea.

“6 dollars fifty”

“f-fine.” Fukawa dolled out the coins and hastily ran away, without even getting her fortune read.

As Togami leaned over at the coins, counting it up he turned to Yasuhiro. “May I ask how much money you used to budget this operation.”

In response, both Yasuhiro and Makoto turned out their pockets and found that their budget had been:

“Twenty cents, this weird ball of lint and two Hubba bubba wrappers.”

“Well, that, my fine businessmen, is called making a profit. Now if we split the cash three ways itsssssssss… $2.16 each.”

“Hold on Byakuya, can I see that for a second…” Exclaimed Yasuhiro, picking up the coins.

“*Sigh* yes you can- “

“PSYCHE! IM TAKING IT ALL!” 

As the afro headed boy rushed off, it seemed it left just Byakuya and Makoto, just as the latter was about to walk away  he was stopped.

“There’s something wrong Makoto.”

The ultimate lucky student froze, before turning back to Togami.

“Byakuya, no offence, but you’re not exactly a people person…how would you know?”

“The bum mentioned it. It was impossible not too see.”  

“I don’t really want to talk about it”

“Come on Makoto we’re be…bes…what’s the word I’m looking for?”

“Best friends?” Makoto said cracking a sly smile.

“That’s it.”

“Hmph…fine I’ll tell you. So, there’s this girl I like…”

“Name?’

“…promise not to laug-actually don’t bother, you will, It’s…Toko”

There was no laughter, just plain silence as millions of numbers zoomed through Togamis brain, trying to comprehend what he’d just heard.

“Look…I’m not going to laugh…I’m just going to ask you how on earth that’s possible.”

“We’re partners in media and she’s always sort of cool there.”

“Hmm…yes, I see now, you say your Luck works in cycles of good and bad, yes?”

“Um…yeah, sometimes.”

“So obviously the godsend of being be…bet…bas… acquaintances with me has lead your luck to trap you in the misfortune of being in love with the most annoying person on the face of planet earth.”

“She’s not that bad…” murmured Makoto.  

“Yes. She is absolutely that bad. But I’d say we have a common goal…you want do date her and I want her at least 100 feet away from me at all times, so it works out. Do not worry Makoto, I have now made it my sworn duty to help you here…now I need to go steal back that cash.” And with that Byakuya marched off over to the homegroup area.

“Uh…thanks?”


	3. Three Projects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We gain insights into the developing friendships of Kokichi and Keebo, Rantaro and Shuichi and Maki and Kaede

**_Three Projects_ **

“C’-c-cmon class time to take your seats. Hurry up, Kokichi!” screamed the Class 79s newly demoted alcoholic home group teacher.

“I’m trying sir, but I broke my leg on the way here.”

“Nice try, I can…” Kizakura paused to let out something between a burp and an inhale “…see through that.” He said, slamming his fists on the table like he had completely obliterated Kokichis sense of self-worth.

“So, it’s time for meeeeeeee to introduce, y-your flirst big project of the year.” This turned about to be a lie, because even though Kizakura  **said**  he was going too, what he really did was collapse onto the table.

This prompted Kokichi to stand up and check his body.

“Damn, guy must have been drinking like a…oh my god. He’s got no pulse…”

A hush came over the students. Had their teacher really…died in front of them? What was going wrong in his life that prompted this? Was he going through a bad divorce? Was he lonely? So many ques-

“USO DAYO! HAHAHAHA!” said the hankerchiefed boy said as his false tears turned into tears of laughter.

“Kokichi! That’s not funny.” Said Kaede, crossing her arms.

As the Ultimate Supreme Leader laughed, he spied a sheet of paper on the teachers’ desk.

“Oh, looks like he left us a note. Let’s see here…”

Before the Supreme Leader could continue, The Ultimate pianist plucked the note from his hands holding it up so he couldn’t reach it.

“It says here we have too…create a poster of a famous person in history that we think is commendable or deserves to be celebrated.” She flipped the note over and read the back “It says we were put in random pairs…Shuichi and Rantaro, Me and Maki, Keebo and Kokichi…” Kaede continued, but little did she know that those three were going to be the most important ones by far.

* * *

 

Keebo and Kokichi were the only pair who’d be hanging out over the first term. The Robotic boy had approached Ouma because he looked relatively nice. What he wasn’t expecting, was that Kokichi was actually a weirdo being with no skill in social interaction. He would consistently not do his work, not show up too class and make fun of the other students for seemingly no reason at all.

Despite all that, he’d actually been fairly nice to Keebo over the last few weeks (if you ignored the blatant robophobia that is…).

This didn’t make him any less suspicious as stared at Kokichis house. Unlike most normal human houses, he’d seen. It seemed to be made out of cement stuck, uneven rocks and the front door looked like it was about to tip over.

What was even more disconcerting was the large tower made out of the same rocks that was sitting on the left part of the roof. There was precisely one window but it seemed to be made out of hideously green stained glass.

Cautiously, Keebo walked up to the door and gave it three quick knocks. Almost immediately, a small switch flipped up, giving way to a door viewer. The switch fell again and Keebo heard a noise that sounded somewhere between a door opening and several chickens being butchered.  

The door swung open, revealing the Ultimate Supreme Leader with a grim expression…

“I told you, If you ever show your face in this town aga- “

Realizing who it was, Oumas facial features changed drastically, his frown breaking into a big grin.

“Oh, hey Kee-boy, forgot you were coming over. Come on in!”

“t-thanks” the robot said, still somewhat shaken from Kokichis earlier outburst.

“Oh, and don’t worry about that thing before, that was just a little…gag, to freak you out. Uso dayo!” Kokichi said, looking at the doorway suspiciously.

As it turned out, Kokichis room was a mess, which made sense considering Oumas first words before Keebo entered were “If you’re a cop, you legally have to tell me.”

Some of the highlights of Oumas beautiful mess included a Los Igobernables poster that Kokichi had desperately tried to make seem like a D.I.C.E one, several pictures of praying mantises and a spinning pin board with various pictures of Grimace, Obama, Trump and The Pig from Babe all strung together with a big heading that said FBI (which the small boy made a show of quickly flipping to a blank poster paper).

“So, any ideas of who we should write about?”

“What about Bill Gates?”

“Why?”

“Because he created you.”

“That’s robophobic, I’ll have the police lock you up!” Keebo angrily shouted.

“The cops? I own the cops! I COULD RULE THIS CITY KEEBO!” Ouma replied, standing up on his bed for dramatic effect before dropping back down.

“So actually, who are we going to do and how are we going to present it?” The purple haired boy said.

That last word piked Keebos interest “Present?”

“Yeah, we’ll have to present to the class. They’ll probably get a big projector up and we’ll have to talk about our project for a few minutes.”

“Talk? No,no,no…” a startled Keebo said. “I hate public speaking! What if I embarrass myself, what if…”

“Kee-boy! Don’t worry about it. If you really don’t want too talk to the class, I can totally get us out of it!”

“How?” Keebo said, scepticism pouring from his voice.

“Just trust me. We’ll do the project normally, but I’ll do something stupid, so Kizakura will send me out. Obviously, it wouldn’t be fair if you did the project by yourself so he’ll let you do it in private.” Ouma stated.

“Wow Kokichi…that’s really nice of you to do”

Not missing a beat, Kokichi replied with “BEEP BOOP, THAT IS REALLY NICE KOKICHI. PLEASE INSTALL UPDATES.”

For once, Keebo would let it slide.

* * *

 

“So, have you got any ideas?”

“Sorry, none here”

Shuichi and Rantaro had been stumped for at least 20 minutes who to write about.

“Okay, how about I say one person and you say someone relating to that person?” Rantaro asked.

“O-okay, that’s a good idea. I’ll start”

“Ouma”

“Loki”

“Chris Hemsworth”

“Robert Downey Jr. BAM! See, we got it”

Shuichi laughed surprised, that that had actually worked.

“Also, Shuichi, I’ve been meaning to ask you…you know Kaede?”

“Hm…”

“Is she single?”

Shuichi was very taken off guard by this and was reduced to a stuttering mess mere seconds after it was said.

“I-I-I t-think she is…why?” He finally managed to stammer out.

Rantaros facial features glazed over with confusion.

“Because she seems really nice and I want to ask her out.”

“Oh…” Shuichi mentally smacked himself for his own obliviousness.

“I just don’t know how too approach her. It’d be a bit weird if I just go up to her like “Hey Kaede, I’m a dude you’ve talked to for like 5 minutes on the first day, wanna go out?””

“You could, maybe, hang out with me, Kokichi and Keebo. She sometimes sits with us.”

“Really? Dude, you’re awesome! Thanks.”

 _They would be a really good fit for each other_ Shuichi thought too himself, acting like he didn’t ask Rantaro to sit with them because his other friends where batshit insane

* * *

 

 “Would you like some chips?”

“No.”

“Tea?”

“No.”

“Wa- “

“No.”

Oh my god. Shuichi gets cool Rantaro and Kokichi gets super nice Keebo but she’s stuck with a person who won’t even talk too her. What’s worse was Maki had refused to go anywhere but the weird, murky library on the 2nd floor. This girl was supposed to be the ultimate child caregiver for Christ’s sake.

“Okay, is there something wrong?”

“No.”

“It seems like somethings wrong”

“Everything’s  **fine** okay.” Pure venom seeping from Makis voice.

“Yeah, well help me with this project then!” Kaede said, undeterred by the other girl’s tone. 

Maki murmured something resembling an okay. “Who have you thought off? And don’t say some random pianist no one knows”

“There’s a lot of people we could write about like…Steve Jobs or Hayao Miyazaki or…”

“Yeah go with him.”

“Do you seriously not care at all?”

“…yes.”

Kaede let out an exasperated sigh, before pulling out a pencil case and starting to draw up lines. Maki, for her credit, helped out when she could…by handing Kaede coloured pens every so often…she didn’t ask for them, Maki just kept handing her them.

Eventually, the Piansits frustrations reached boiling point when a bright red marker was hurled on the paper from across the room.

“That’s it. I’m going too take this project back to my place and do it at home because if all you’re going to do is hurl markers at the paper then I’d be better off doing it by myself” she yelled storming off in a huff.

“Do you wanna die?” Maki whispered to herself, seeming slightly shaken by Kaedes outburst.

* * *

 

“If he’s not here in 15 minutes we get to leave early!”

The Ultimate Supreme Leader was very quickly bonked over the head for his skiving efforts.

“Only a degenerate male like you would try and get out of school like that!” Tenko said as Kokichi nursed his head injury.

Suddenly, the door creaked. The class braced to see just how many glasses of Bourbon their teacher had downed in the last 6 hours…only to find it was Maki, who’d been late for class. 

“He’s not here, is he?”

A collected nope rung out across the class room as Maki took her seat next to Kaede. As everyone sprung out into different conversations, Maki leaned over to Kaede and handed her 3 small pieces of coloured paper.

Akamatsu looked down to see that Maki had…actually written some of the project out on them, complete with headings and photos.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for making you do it all…so I added some bits I didn’t think you were going to write about”

Almost immediately, Maki was practically crash tackled in a hug.  

“You made it weird…” she mumbled

“I don’t care! Now, I’ve got to stick these in.” thankfully for Makis sake, Akamatsu broke the hug and pulled a gluestick out from her pencil case. As Maki looked back over too the centre of the classroom, only to see Shuichi staring at her with a faint smile.

“W-what are you looking at?” she said, grabbing one of her pigtails and pouting.

“Nothing…” Shuichi murmured as he dropped back into his conversation with Rantaro.

“Okay, time to start your personations” the teacher said, leaning over his desk.

“Mr. Kizakura? This is star command, we need your help!”

“Nice try Kokichi, but I’m hungover, not drunk!”

The projects proceeded from there, Gonta and Kaito did Neil Armstrong, Ryoma and Korekiyo talked about a guy called Dave that they’d found on the street and had pressured into an interview,Rantaro and Shuichis was cut short after the detective got a little too passionate about the MCU lore while Kaede and Makis was a mess of positive and negative as you’d expect from both of them although it generally pretty well. As she went back to her seat though, Maki couldn’t shake the memory of the number of times her and the detective’s eyes had meet.

Now, it was time for the climatic finale.

“What are we going to do” Keebo whispered, louder than he wanted too

“Just watch this.” Ouma replied and with a wink and a skip, he strode up too the front of the class.

“So…Kee-boy fought me on this one but I feel it needs to be said, I originally wanted to do the project on one of my personal role models…”

Kokichi started to tear up so he dabbed his eyes with his handkerchief. The class was stunned by this display of emotion, they’d never seen Ouma as emotionally vulner-

“The 5th president of Iraq, Sadam Hussain.”

Annnnnnd there it was. However, Kokichi didn’t give up his façade, instead, the tears flowed harder.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE US SADAM! WHY? WHY?” Kokichi screamed smashing his fists on the ground. Rantaro, thinking quickly, ran up and grabbed Ouma pulling him away from the scene, as the screams of “GOD DAMN YOU BUSH! GOD DAMN YOU TOO HELL!!!” rung out across the school.

“So Keebo, can you continue with the presentation?”

 _What?_ Keebo thought before all the pieces fitted in too place and he realized something.

This was Kokichis plan all along. To get him too public speak

“Y-yeah sure” a nervous Keebo said but as he continued, the words started to come to him clearer and clearer until, before he knew it, the presentation was finished. He looked over at the doorway to see Kokichi giving him a wink

“That was really good Keebo…now someone give me a bin to throw up in because, wow, I just remembered how much alcohol I drank last night!”


	4. Dorms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationships start to blossom in the wake of Hopes Peaks new dorm system

“We are proud to present…the new Hopes Peak dorm system.” Munakata announced on the podium, so disinterested it wouldn’t be surprising if he’d just fallen asleep right there and then.

The dorms had been born out of necessity after Nagito had called in a bomb threat last year. Jin had said that they would reduce any “suspicious activity” but that just meant more work for them with little to no extra pay in some cases.

 _God damn it, if Chisa had vouched so heavily for him that little brat would’ve been expelled instead of a one-week suspension._ Munakata grumpily thought to himself.

“You can pick your dorm now…” This was the third time they’d done this same fucking dorm assembly today and Munakata think he knew what was coming next, if the other two were any indication, pulling up high fidelity noise cancelling headphones set to play calming music, he attempted to block out all the conversations made by Class 77.

* * *

 

“Nagito, come on, let’s go get our rooms ready.”  Hajime said, bag slung over his shoulder.

“Hajime…you want to choose dorms with me? This…gives me….so much **hope** ”

If there was one thing Nagito was bad at, and he was bad at a lot of things, is that he couldn’t get his head around the fact that Hinata would pick him for anything at all, Hajime had spent almost all his time at Hopes Peak with the luckster, yet Nagito still did this little happy song and dance whenever Hajime actually stated that he was giving him a moment of his time.

Hajime immediately pounced on the dorm that had the biggest window on it, to which Nagito happily took the one next to it. They stepped inside, basking in the fresh “new room” smell of the dorms. Each dorm was outfitted with a bed, a bookshelf, a TV, a desk, a radio, a walk in closet and a bathroom

“Chisa must’ve been working overtime” Hajime said grabbing his duffel bag and starting to unpack

“No doubt.” Nagito said, lost in space.

“What’s bothering you?”

Nagito immediately dropped down to earth like a crashing space shuttle.

“Hmm…it’s just…”

“Chiaki?”

“Wow, your powers of deduction are on point as always.”

“So, you haven’t talked to her once since the bar?”

“I guess…in a certain way…maybe…no and I’ve been avoiding her.”

Hajimes hand shoot up to his face so hard, it created the illusion that he’d slapped himself.

* * *

 

“Penguin.”

“Elephant.”

“Tiger”

“Penguin”

“Lion”

“Lio- “

“SNAP!” Kazuichi screamed, triumphant, before realizing maybe getting so overjoyed that he had beaten Tanaka at “Jungle Tumble Snap.”  

“Another round?”

“Guess there’s nothing better to do.”  Kazuichi said and was shuffling the cards around the table when a sharp laugh intercepted him.

“Ibuki get’s winning, but do you have to scream so loud?”

“It’s really hard to win this game against him okay?” Kazuichi replied, pulling his beanie over his head.

“Reallllly?” Ibuki said, pulling up a chair “Well, let’s see it then.”

Kazuichi looked over at Gundham (who had basically covered his whole head into his scarf by this point) and back to Ibuki before standing up.

“Go ahead. I’ma go grab a bite to eat but, sure, you guys can play”. A sly smirk forming on his features as he walked away.  

“Okay then…let’s start” Ibuki said.

“As you wish, but be warned I…” Gundham said, with a noticeable lack of confidence

“Tiger!”

* * *

 

**_Knock Knock!_**

“Coming…” Chiaki murmured. It had been around a week since the incident at the bar. Even though she’d long since forgiven Nagito for, in Hajimes words, “being captured by an international cult”, it seemed he wasn’t quite ready to talk to her yet and worse yet, he’d been intentionally ignoring her for the last week.

 _Am I really that bad at romance?_ She thought too herself as she opened the door.

Speak of the godamn devil.

“Hey.”

“H-hi” an unexpected blush forming on Chiakis face, which she managed to quickly fight off.

“I just wanted to apologize again for- “

“Nagito, I get it, it’s not your fault that you got captured by a cult.”

“It’s not that…I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you for the week.”

This came as a surprise to Chiaki, and her mind set off once more, playing an internal game of Street Fighter 2 too keep the blush away.

“I just didn’t want to ruin the chances of us becoming…”

As those words left his lips, a million different thoughts rushed through both Chiaki and Nagitos heads.

_D-does he really like me back?_

_S-should I say it here? I could…_

“Friends.” Nagito finally finished. Out of all those millions of thoughts, one remained exactly the same between the two students.

_Just friends._

“Anyway…is there anything I could do to make it up to you?"

Nanami looked on in confusion as put her finger to her lips.

“You could play a few rounds of smash brothers with me?”

Nagito smiled, and not his crazy one either, “Cool.”

He took a seat on the tail end of her bed, legs crossed as she booted up the console and took out the controllers.

The minutes clocked past and they were still there. Enjoying each other’s company and laughing.

As he somehow managed to edge out win (Chiaki swore her controller stopped working for a split second), the pathway in Nagitos subconscious opened leading his mind down a damply lit path. Observing Chiaki pouting and himself laughing, it all came to him.

_Is…is this what real hope feels like?_

* * *

 

“Season 2 was the best for sure. Ibuki can’t see how you don’t like it!” Ibuki said, throwing down another card.

“I appreciated the dynamic of the cast in season 3.” Gundham replied throwing down another card. They’d been on snap for 5 minutes now but neither of them really wanted to take it.

Ibuki couldn’t believe it, he liked almost all the things she liked. JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Parks and Recreation, styling his hair… he even listened to really obscure depressing music… could it be possible he was her destined one?

 _No way!_ She thought to herself. _I’d have to totally, like, be in to him like totally, like, totally, like, like, like…_ her thoughts trailed off as she came to a realization

_I have a crush on Gundham?_

“Your move…”

“WHAT?!” Ibuki said a bit too loudly.

“It’s your move.”

“Um…o-oh…heh-” God damn it, did she have to realize her feelings mid-way through talking to him? Luckily, it seemed all her karma had stored up into one big “Get out of awkward social situation card”.

“Guess who just ate 3 apricot muesli bars that tasted really bad because Akane, Nekmorau and Imposter got Teruteru to cook everything good!” Kazuichi yelled, his tone not quite reflective of his words.

Ibuki saw this chance to collect her thoughts and took it without thinking.

“Mahirus probably getting annoyed only talking to Hiyoko, so I should get going, see ya.”

By the time either of the boys had realized what she’d said, she was out the door and back to her room.

“So, it took you precisely 45 minutes to consume 3 nutritional bars of muesli?”

“Well, I saw you and Ibuki had a pretty good thing going there.”

“The songful one is quite wonderful…but I must thank you, Kazuichi, you’ve been a great…” wing man”, I think you mortals call it.”

“If only I was that good at romancing Miss Sonia.” Souda sighed

* * *

 

Ibuki had paced around her dorm probably 20 times now. It always helped her think of ideas but this one was critical. _How should I ask him out?_ Unbeknownst to her Gundham meanwhile, was doing the exact same thing in his dorm and his thoughts seemed to match up perfectly as well.

_I mean should I even ask him out? Of course, I should, I’ve liked him for, like, a year._

_Where to ask her, where to ask her? It is a tough question Tanaka, but one you must answer if you want to be with this woman._

_I could invite him too a rock show…no that’d be too loud._

_The zoo? No…as far as I know she does not share my interest in the animal kingdom._

_I need somewhere quieter…_

_Somewhere covered by the nights cold embrace_

_There’s that end of the world party next week…_

_And the shame wouldn’t be apparent if she refuses…_

Suddenly both trains of thought crashed into each other head first.

_The End of The World!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating whether to write "End Of The World" next or do some more 78 or 79 stuff


	5. The End of The World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gunbuki bois.

February 13th, also known as the end of the world as we knew it…according to some crackpot religious cult. Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko had snuffed through records and records before they finally managed to find an excuse to throw a party.

Speaking of Kazuichi, he was tinkering in his dorm when three soft knocks against his door came through too his ears.

“Coming…”

He grabbed the door handle, opened it up and found an annoyed Ultimate Photographer staring back at him.

“Jesus…how long does it take you to get up from that desk? You’re so unrelia-“

“Did you come her just to test that out.”

Mahirus expression switched from annoyance to seriousness, as she stepped in too the room and closed the door.

“Sorry but my heart is saved for Miss Sonia…but if we’re going to do this…” Kazuichi excitedly said, clearing out his desk

“Let’s do…”

He was greeted by an elbow to the back of the head for his efforts.

“Actually…Sonias what I came here to talk to you about?” She said to him as the Mechanic nursed his head injury.

“So…I’m assuming you know about Ibuki asking Gundham out…”

“I k-know about Gundham asking Ibuki out.”

“So, he does like her?” Mahiru let out a small shriek of happiness for her friend before returning to her grim demeanour.

“Anyway, Sonia likes Gundham right?”

“You don’t have to tell me.” Kazuichi murmured.

“Anyway, I think it’s our duty, to keep her away from Gundham for long enough that he can ask Ibuki out.”

Kazuichis mouth formed into an “o” before his lips shifted back to its regular shape.

“So, you’re saying my job is too stay back and talk to Miss Sonia all night?”

“I don’t even know why I bothered asking you.” Mahiru replied in a huff.

* * *

 

God damn it! What was wrong with him? These were some of the thoughts swirling through Fuyuhikos head as he marched down the halls, dragging a small table with him. For the last few days, he’d been having…intrusive thoughts about…no one, no one in particular. 

“Young Master! Let me help you with that!”

Nope…no one at all.

“Thanks.” He said, passing on end of the table to Peko. Now there was a good trick to this. He’d taught it too himself when he was 7, if you close your eyes and think about clowns, no scary (or in this case romantic) thoughts will pop into your brain.

**_BAM!_ **

Fuyuhiko didn’t consider that maybe walls were going to be an issue with this plan.

“Young Master?! Are you hurt?”

“Nah…I’m fine.” He replied, rubbing his head.

“Let me inspect it.” Peko said firmly, reaching out a hand.

Alarms immediately went off in Fuyuhikos head like sirens on a police car. SKIN ON SKIN CONTACT! CODE RED, I REPEAT WE HAVE GOT A CODE RED.

“I’vegottagogetsomechairsifyou’dbesokindastotakethistablethanksbye.” He said rushing off, leaving a dazed Peko in his wake. To his credit, this was probably the most he’d ever put in too running, dashing all the way back too his dorm, in which he promptly locked the door several times and pushed a desk in front of it….

Then the adrenaline wore off and Fuyuhiko realized he had turned his dorm into a bomb shelter because a girl was going to touch him.

 _“Romance is so lame”_ _Fuyuhiko explained to his sister, who seemed to be more interested in her nails than anything her brother had to say._

“This is karma, isn’t it?”

* * *

 

“I’m telling you, Darth Vader would destroy Iron Man in a fight, there’s no two ways about it. He casually compacts the tie fighters all the time, Iron Mans MCU suit has no way of getting- “

Nagito walked along happily, as he listened to his friend explain another 700 reasons Iron Man would get, quote, “shit-canned” by Darth Vader. However, his attention wasn’t focused on “reason number two hundred and fifty-two, the prevalence of impurities in Iron Mans armour”, instead it was on the girl in front of him.

The way she lazily walked, eyes completely glued to the screen, her pink hair twisted up into curls. There was something so hopeful about her, something so…mesmerizing.

“Nagito…” He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Hajime looking at him sternly. “You’re doing it again.”

Nagito sighed and put a hand too his head.

“God damn it…how could you even tell?”

“Your eyes were going swirly, they always do when you’re looking at her for too long.”

“I just don’t understand, I only think like **that** when there’s the despair but she…she’s perfect.”

“Well there’s something bothering you anyway. Maybe try and figure it out at the party.”

“G-good idea.”

* * *

 

The party had just started up and as the sun began to set on the evening, Gundham and Kazuichi sat on a bench staring at it.

“Beautiful isn’t it. The colour of the setting sun, as it envelopes the world with its light.”

“Or as normal people would say, the sunset looks really nice.”

A small smile broke out on Gundhams face, but he quickly supressed it.

“Nice night to ask someone out isn’t it.”

That smile turned into a blush almost immediately.

“How did you…”

“You left your planner open in Music. Your lucky I snagged it before Mioda saw.”

Gundhams expression once again shifted, this time to thought.

“Do you think…she holds any affection for me?”

“No idea.” Kazuichi said, struggling to hold back a smile “But, no better time to propose then when the dark lord Malonith is going to wipe the surface of the planet in an hour.”

“You are correct, Luckily I’ve put safety measures in place to prevent this catastrophe.”

“Whatever you say…”

“Well, I will be off, Nidai has challenged me to a drinking game. I will have to fulfil that commitment.”

As the ultimate Breeder stood up and left, Kazuichi was left basking in the ever-dimming glow…until Mahiru stamped out of nowhere and grabbed him by the ear.

“Come on.” She said, dragging him along.

* * *

 

“WHAT THE HELL DO I DO CHIAKI?” The Rockstar screamed at her friend. “What if he doesn’t like me? What if he laughs? What if…”

“Ibuki, there’s a lot of what ifs, but if he’s really your...”

“Destined one.” Ibuki frantically filled in the gamers blank

“Then it shouldn’t matter. Besides, Gundhams nice, he wouldn’t do that to you.”

Ibuki took a couple of deep breaths before her usual smile returned “Yeah…you’re right, thanks Chiaki” Ibuki said before going over to talk too Mikan.

 _I can’t believe she’s actually gonna ask him out_ Chiaki thought too herself as she felt herself drifting off, before she saw a green hoddie from the corner of her eye.

“Hey Nagito…” she said, happier than she’d intended.

“O-oh, hi Chiaki.” Nagito replied, slightly surprised that she’d decided to talk too him.

“M-my system ran out of charge, and it’s been pretty boring here...do you want to come sit with me?” She said, praying that he didn’t notice the screen slightly lighten up when it was pushed. 

“Yeah…sure.” Nagito said, calmly walking over too her acting like he didn’t have butterflies in his stomach. No, not just butterflies, some dumb zookeeper had left the door open to the insect enclosure and every bug ever put on this earth was currently crawling around his stomach.

_Chiaki wants me to sit with her?_

“You seem tense.” Chiaki said.

“It’s nothing.” He replied, not making eye contact

“Nagito, I’m your friend…” the phrase _just friends_ throbbed through both of their brains like a beating heart “You’d tell Hinata, why can’t you tell me?”

Nagito turned too her and smiled “You’re too amazing to worry about trash like me.” His smile didn’t change or twist, he just starred at her.

_A-a-amazing?_

From there, Nagito continued to talk like nothing had happened but Nanami wasn’t listening, she was too busy thinking in her head what that meant. Why he would say that? Did he return her feelings? No, Nagito said stuff like that to everyone but maybe…just maybe.

* * *

 

“Heeey Sonia.”

“Hmm?”

“Wanna play cards?”

Mahiru handed Sonia a pack of card, the Princess inspected it closely before pointing her finger at the back.

“But it says here we need 3 people too…”

Kazuichi attempted to smoothly slide into the seat opposite Sonia but ended up accidentally smashing his stomach into the table, falling backwards into the dirt.

“…Hi Sonia.” He groaned.

“Hmph, fine, let us play” the unimpressed princess said, shuffling the cards around in her hand.

The rounds kept coming and they didn’t stop coming. Even though it was their idea, Kazuichi and Mahiru were at risk at falling asleep, which may have given a slight excuse for the Mechanics next action:

“How long is he gonna take?!” Kazuichi groaned.

 **“** Who?” Sonia said, interest piqued.

“It’s no on- “Mahiru tried to say Sonia raised her hand to her mouth.

“Kazuichi, who are you referring too?”

“Um…um…ummm…. Gundhams gonna ask Ibuki out.” He murmured. If looks could kill, Mahiru would’ve been charged with first degree murder on Souda.

Sonias eyes lit up with a mixture of anger and sadness, before standing up.

“I have to stop this.” She murmured.

“No! Sonia come back, we can play cards and…god damn it, she’s gone, I’ll talk to he-“

“No, I’ll do it.”

“Yeah, her creepy stalker telling her too stop will totally do the trick”

“Just…trust me.”

“Are you going to kill her”

“God damn it, NO!” Kazuichi yelled as he walked off. Luckily for him, Sonias pace had slowed under her emotions, giving him chance to cut her off, en route to Gundham.

“Miss Sonia!” He called out but it was in vein, as she kept walking.

“I do not wish to see you right now Kazuichi!” she yelled back.

“Why are you doing this?” He said, softer than before. This change of tone stopped Sonia in her tracks.

“W-well is it no obvious? It’s for true lov- “

“He doesn’t love you like that.” He said.

“And I suppose you do?” She spat back, pure venom dripping from her voice.

“No. It’s just…this reminds me of what I would’ve done last year, if Gundham had tried to ask you out…I just…I thought you were better than that.”

Sonia sadly looked down at her feet before making eye contact again.

“I suppose it is…rude to do this…. I’m glad you pointed this out too me.” She said walking towards him, a move she would’ve reconsidered had she known what he would say next.

“So are you gonna give me a chan- “He said, stars forming in his eyes.

“Don’t push it.”

* * *

 

“It seems I win the contest of soda ingestion.” Gundham said, a smirk playing on his lips.

“You…were a good opponent but I’ll get you next time.”

“Maybe in the next meeting, you will learn to not attempt to drink all your cups at once.”

“Good point.”

As Gundham rewrapped his scarf around his neck, he felt a small tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Ibuki.

“H-hey, can Ibuki talk to you for a second? I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Hmm…Maiden of Music. It seems fate has bound us together, as I also have something to reveal to you.”

The duo marched too the trees at the far side of Hopes Peaks courtyard, completely isolated from the rest of their peers.

“Do you wanna go first? Or do you want Ibuki to go fi”

“How about we both talk on the number 1”

Ibuki nodded, as they both started the countdown…

“3…”

“2…”

“1…”

Their responses were very different.

“Do you wanna go out with me?”

“Do you hold any affection for me?”

Good thing they had the same meaning. Ibuki broke out into smiles but Gundham instinctively covered his face to hide the rapidly growing blush.

“W-well as a demon of the astral plane I truly love n-nothing but an exception c-can be m-made f-fo-“

He was cut off by the feeling of Ibukis lips against his. It lasted for only a second, but even after Ibuki had given him her cell number and walked off (with an extra spring in her step), Gundham was still in a state of confusion.  

**_BRING BRING!_ **

That was the sound of Gundhams alarm going off, which snapped him out of his trance. He looked up at the sky and brace for impact, before…. nothing.

“Hmm…it seems I was adequately prepared once again.” He said with a smile, before walking off into the moonlight.

* * *

 

Space, the nesting place of Malonith, the devourer of worlds. For 4 long years he’d been building up his power, destroying stars and eating entire galaxies. Finally, he would have his revenge on the one who imprisoned him here.

The astral figure flew towards the earth and opened his palm

“Black fire style: Plane of existence destruction!”

A huge beam of black energy fired at the earth with enough force to shake the universe to his core.

But when it hit the earth, it seemed the earth absorbed the blow…

“What?!”

And spat it back out at him. The beam collided with Malonith, tearing at him and disengaging him almost completely.

Just as the last of his conscious was absorbed by the beam he looked at the rotating planted and whispered throughout the universe:

_Damn you Tananaka!_


	6. A Day In The Life Of Ryoma Hoshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Look Into Ryomas daily habits

**_A Day in The Life of Ryoma Hoshi_ **

**_Beep_ **

**_Beep_ **

**_Beep_ **

That goddamn thing won’t shut up. It never shuts up. Ryoma stumbles around and manages to twiddle his finger onto the snooze button. _Just another 5 minu-_

**_Beep_ **

**_Beep_ **

**_Beep_ **

Ryoma stands up, grabs his tennis racket and smashes the clock again and again and again until it’s beyond recognizable, it’s just a small metallic ball rolling around on his drawer. From there, he puts on his hat and takes the train too school.

He doesn’t like school much. No, everyone’s so…happy at school. He’s not mad that they’re happy, he’s jealous. Jealous that they can laugh, they can cry, they can sit down for 5 seconds without thinking about the bodies.

It’s not like Ryoma is isolated socially. He has friends, he’s got a lot of friends but none of them really make him fill that gap. At best, Korekiyo’s good to talk too and Kokichis antics can be amusing.

Sometimes he just needs too step away from it all. He sits behind the steps during lunch sometimes, nibbling at an apple. If he keeps biting it, worried that if he stops, everything’s going to come flooding back into his memory.

“Oh…there you are.” He hears a up beat voice from the front of the stairs, and without turning around he already realized who it was.

“What are you doing here Angie?” He said, silently refusing too turn around at the artist, not that it mattered, as she decided to but in and walk in front of him anyway.

“I noticed you were sooo droopy in art class. Why is that?” She said.

Did this woman not know the meaning of personal space? She was literally about 10 centimetres away from his face.

“Sorry…I don’t really want to talk about it.” Ryoma replied.

“Oh? But you have too…the more you let it out the more happiness comes in. That’s what Atua says!”

“I don’t believe in religion.” He replied, flatly.

“Oh, Atua does not discriminate against the uninformed.”

 _Uninformed?_ Ryoma winced in his head.

“That’s uncool.” He said, looking at the smiling Angie with a hint of aggression.

“Oh, is it? I apologize.” She said, her sarcasm hitting Ryoma over the head like a ton of bricks.

“Yeah…it is.” Ryoma replied, the aggression in his voice rising by the second.

“Well, Atua didn’t decide too fill me in on that part.” She said back, a cocky smirk engulfing her features

“Because Atua isn't real!” Ryoma shouted back. “You come over here, talking bullshit about me being “droopy” and then barrage me with this religious crap! Not all of us are lucky enough to be in that posi-“

Ryoma’s sentence trailed off as he looked up at the smiling figure before him.

“There we go. Let it all out.”

“No.” Ryoma composed himself.

“Well, it’s a start.” Angie murmured too herself.

“Maybe next time you can try and not make me inexplicably angry.”

“Maybe…but when was the last time you got that mad, Ryoma?”

The Tennis pro put a finger to his chin and looked back. _It has been a while_ , He thought.

“Anyways, I will see you later. Bye-onara” She said with a wink and, like that, she was gone.

 _She’s a strange one._ Ryoma thought as he watched her leave, but he couldn’t fight the small smirk breaking out on his face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lake of updates recently but I've been spending alot of writing time planning the fic up to a point (I've also been swamped with work...that's the biggest reason). Shorter story this time, and there's gonna be alot more of those now. As for what I've got in the works...here's the next few chapter titles:
> 
> * Media 
> 
> * Breaking and Entering 
> 
> * First Date 
> 
> * Gundham And Ibukis Fancy Party (Not the first time I've copied Parks and Recs and not gonna be the last)


	7. Media

“What are you doing here?” Makoto whisper-screamed at his sharp-eyed friend.

“Too help you romantically of course.” Byakuya said, like he was explaining how to drink a glass of water.

“But do you see how, if you’re here… all her attentions going to be on you?” He said back.

Byakuyas facial features swivelled into an “o” before pure terror took over his facial features. Makoto waved his hand over his face too little avail, as it seems the realization had frozen Byakuya stiff.

“MASTERS IN THIS GROUP NOW?”

Little cracks started too form in Byakuyas skin as his very matter of being was stripped away and any will to live had been drained like an unplugged bathtub.

“N-no, I’m in a completely different group with…” Byakuyas eyes scanned the room for any sign of intelligent human life.

Aoi Asahina? Intelligence of a Neanderthal. Yasuhiro Hagakure? Somehow dumber. Leon Kuwata? He could barely fucking understand.

Just when all hope seemed lost, his eyes fixated on something…or, more accurately someone.

“Kirigiri! How are you doing? Are we partners for this project? Yes? That’s fantastic, let’s start working around the- “

“What the hell are you trying to do?” The detective coldly said.

“Just go with it.” He whispered back.

If this was anyone else, Kirigiri would’ve sent them back with an icy stare but she seemed to find Byakuya…endearing. And if someone as sweet as Makoto liked him, he had to be doing something right.

Meanwhile, Toko had whipped herself into a frenzy of silent rage. Makoto looked across from Byakuya to see her digging her nails into her hands.

“You know you shouldn’t do that.” Makoto whispered to her in a stern tone.

“Don’t lecture me.” She whispered back with venom. Makoto rolled his eyes at her stubbornness but he couldn’t help but notice that she had taken his advice.

* * *

 

“Fukawa giving you grief?”

“You don’t even know.” The prodigy replied with a sigh.

Kyoko smiled back at him.

“She’s not that bad you know.”

“Why does everyone keep saying this? She absolutely is.”

Kyoko just sighed and moved her attention back too the computer.

“What are we even supposed too do in this class?”  


“Maybe if you’d bothered showing up for the first few weeks you’d know?”

“I had important business too attend to”

“Like what?”

“That’s classified”

Kyoko’s curiosity seemed to peak for a moment as she looked up but quickly referred her gaze too the screen.

“We have to design a pamphlet about why fast food is bad for you”

“Fast Food, food, salad, fast food salad has more calories than a hamburger. See, I did it in four moves.”

“This isn’t chess Byakuya”

“Isn’t everything a game of chess?”

“What about checkers?”

* * *

 

 “So what colour would go good with this?”

“Lavender because **he** seems too love it so much”

Half an hour. Half an hour of this is what Makoto had had to put up with. Every time he had tried to talk to Toko about anything he was meet with a barrage of comments about Byakuya, Byakuya and Byakuya.

“Look…how about we focus on this instead of whatever Byakuya’s doing right now.” He said, smile dropping a slight bit.

“See, you hate me too now!”   
  
“No, no, I don’t!” Makoto defensively replied, waving his hands

“It’s just…I don’t get why you’re so obsessed with him.”

“So obsessed?!” Toko screeched back at him, acting like he’d just said that he hated her, her family, her extended family and everything about her.   


“He’s just perfect! That’s why. He always tells me when I’m wrong, like my perfect white knight. Oh, this is true love…”

Makoto blocked out the rambling and returned to his work.

 _You can’t win them all Makoto_ he thought as Tokos words came fast and furious, filling the room with various praises and fantasies. _She’s never going to like me like that._

* * *

 

“What’s bothering you?”

“It’s nothing, Byakuya, don’t worry about it”

“It’s not nothing, it’s definitely something. I’ve never seen you this gloomy before.”

Makoto stopped on his heel and turned to the Prodigy, a flick of anger in his eyes.

“ **It’s** nothing okay? Now, I’ve got to get home, I told my mum I’d be back for a least one visit since we got the dorms.” With that, Makoto slung his bag over the shoulder and dashed out the door.

_Could it have been? That women! That damned women!_

**_Knock! Knock! Knock!_ **

Could people not just leave Fukawa alone for 5 minutes? She slowly walked over to the handle and turned the door to see Togami seething with silent anger.

A small “ek” escaped her lips, before Byakuya hold up his hand to symbolise that she should stop talking.

“Look…” he started before looking back at the hallway, closing the door, locking it, unlocking it, locking it again and using a roll of electrical tape to seal the holes shut.  


“Makoto’s the nicest person I know and you’re lucky to have him as a friend!” Byakuya said, before trying to open the locked door and fumbling around with Fukawas keys before unlocking it and walking away.

 _W-what t-the hell was that?_ Fukawa thought.

* * *

 

“You talked to her?”

“Yes, I talked to her.”

“WHY?!”

Byakuya was confused. He told the filth pile exactly what made sense to say.

“I was acting like a dick, you shouldn’t have yelled at her for something I did.”

 _Oh._ Makoto had no idea what Togami had actually sense, and if what Makoto thought he had said was anything like what he **wanted** too say, then he could imagine why ultimate Luck was so angry.

“Yes, I suppose, I shouldn’t have lashed out.” He said, fighting a smirk.

“Hey! Why are you laughing?! This is-“Makotos words were drowned out by Togamis inner-thoughts.

 _What a dolt…he really does deserve her!_ He thought, chuckling


	8. Breaking And Entering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Kokichi is wronged by the school vending machine, he, Keebo and Himiko try to get it back. But it seems Ouma has ulterior motives for doing what he does.

**_Breaking and Entering_ **

“Anyway, Mius like…really nice to me…all the time”

“Because she wants to suck your robocock”

“W-w-w-w-w-hat? No, no, that’s not…”

Keebo rambled on, but Kokichi was more focused on the box shaped target in front of him. He inserted his dollar, it spat it back out. He pressed it in at a different angle, it spat it back out. He ran a seismic bath vodo priest ceremony, it spat it back out.

Then finally it happened, the dollar sunk into the abyss. Kokichi stared longingly, ready to receive his reward, his conquest, in the form of carbonated fizzy grape juice. But it never came…

“I mean it would feel n-nice I guess…wait NO! What am I saying?”

Kokichi frowned. There’d been a malfunction that was it, he just had to shake it a little. Just a little…

“She’s just super nice!”

Kokichi tapped the vending machine a little but nothing came out.

“Wait, Kokichi, I know that look…DON’T DO IT!” But it was too late, Kokichi launched himself at the machine with furious anger…except it was a 750-kilogram vending machine and Kokichi was **43** kilograms soaking wet.

He bounced off it deflecting onto Keebo. Keebo is an 89-kilogram robot, Kokichi is-you get the picture.

“AAAAHH”

“You brought this on yourself”

“You brought this on yourself when you were born”

“That doesn’t make sense” Keebo felt his eye sockets become slightly disconnected from his receivers as he rolled his eyes.

“C’mon, let’s get to class”

“NO!” Kokichi shouted. “This machine has wronged me! My organization has over 20,000 members and they won’t stand for this. There’ll be riots in the streets if I can’t get this drink Kee-boy!”

Keebo smirked for a second completely calling Kokichis bluff…but then that smirk was replaced with a look of fear.

“Really?”

“Yes, really! Would I lie to you Kee-boy?”

“Yes.”

“Well not this time. There’s gonna be rape, murder, robbery, burglary. The deluxe package. We **have** to get this open”

Keebo sighed and turned to the machine, shaking it slightly.

“I can feel it but this thing’s got an iron grip on your can.”

“Don’t just stand there, tell it to let go”

“Tell it to…” Keebo’s perplexed face turned into a glare as soon as he realized what Kokichi meant.

“Well it seems science is useless against it.” Kokichi said, after a bout of laughter “Guess we’ll need…magic”.

“Yeah I don’t get what you mea- “

“Himiko. We need Himiko.”

“Oh. Well let’s go…”

“Actually.” Kokichi shuffled around in his pockets. “You go ahead. I’ll catch up”

* * *

“Wha?”

“I said will you help us?” Kokichi repeated.

“Well, my mana’s pretty low right now…” Himiko was about to continue but was immediately interrupted by a screaming aikido monster.

“NO! NO WAY! Precious Himiko can’t be tainted by your degenerate male touch…”

“But I’ll do it”

“Himiko! NO!”

Himiko started to walk away with the two boys, but Ouma still wasn’t satisfied. He made a big show about taking a long gaze at Himikos rear area. He tilted his head towards Tenko, smirk at the ready but he felt his arm being hocked and without warning he was slammed to the ground.

“You know we should help h- “

“No.”

* * *

“Why didn’t you guys help me back there?” Kokichi whined, nursing his head injury

“You deserved it.” Himiko replied bluntly

“Yeah, you did.”

“Don’t you bandwagon on me Kee-boy!”

They walked for a while before reaching the machine. Suddenly Himiko stopped in her tracks.

“Guess I have to use this spell. I’ve never practiced this one before…” she whispered to herself.

“Oh! Himikos going to use it” Ouma yelped, star eyed as Keebo looked on pessimistically.

“Kick of CRAYT!” She shouted…and delivered the dinkiest little kick (if you could even call it that) either boy had ever seen. It was like she barley moved her foot. Kokichi, stopped, putting his hand over his mouth but couldn’t quite stifle the laugh that came out of his lips.  
  
“Nyeh, it’s not like you could do any better.”

“I could so!”

“Nuh-uh”

“Yuh-Uh!”

“The why isn’t this thing open then?”

“Because we haven’t all tried opening it at the same time!”

“Why don’t we do that then!”

“YEAH LET’S DO THAT”.

  _Welcome to Hopes Peak_ Keboo thought.

* * *

Try as they might, the three of them couldn’t do it. They tried shoving and shaking and clawing and none of it worked. Dawn approached and desperation seethed in.  


“C’mon Keeboy, j-just let us through you into this thing.”

“That’s robophobic and a breach on my rights”  


“Keebo pleaseeeeee!” Himiko screeched

“He’s corrupted you as well! TENKO SAID THIS WOULD HAPPEN!” Keebo screamed as he was backed into the corner by his two friends. Then something happened. Oumas glance averted to the vending machine.

“Hey, it’s those two losers from the class 77, the hell are they doing- “

He saw the white haired one lean on the machine and suddenly a can of purple coloured soda fell out.

“Wow! A can for free, can you believe my luck Hajime?”

Oumas eyes turned wide as he looked on in shock. Keebo patted him on the back

“Can’t win them all”

And walked off. If Kokichi was actually paying attention, he’d have realized that that was not the way Keebo usually walked. Himiko just giggled at him and walked off.

With heavy heart, he slung himself over to the vending machine, he reached into the flap, retrieving the string that was attached in there.

 _How did that weirdo get it out?_ Ouma thought to himself.

**_SNAP!_ **

The light of the flash blinded Ouma temporarily, before the vision of his best friend came into rushing into his eyes.

“Why did you hold set this up?”  
  
“Keebo, I don’t know what you think you sa-“

 “Is it because of Himiko?”

“NO!”

“You like Himiko”

“I don’t like…listen…”

“You’re crazy for her”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Willing to spend 3 hours on a stupid vending machine just to be with her”

“FINE I LIKE HER!” Ouma exploded in front of a smiling Keebo.

“But why, you constantly call her ugly and flat chested and…

“Because she’s cute and she’s funny and she puts up with my shit.” Kokichi replied quietly.

“Those don’t really seem like adequate reasons.”

“Look, Keebo, when you like someone, you can’t choose why, you just do.”

“I wouldn’t be able to convince you this was a lie, would I?” Kokichi said

“Nope.”

Ouma bitterly laughed. He hated people knowing personal things about them.

“Guess, it’s good, since you know so much about me that I know at least something personal about **you**.”

“Wow? My feelings included in the latest windows update?”

Keebo sighed. How was he ever going to get a girlfriend if he behaved like this all the time.


	9. First Dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gundham is shit house at dates

**_First Dates_ **

Ibuki raised her head from the laptop screen as she realized the time. He’d be here in 3 minutes and Gundham was never late. In fact, he was always scarily on time.

This was going to be their first date as a couple. Sure, they’d hung out a few times after the end of the world, but it was nothing that really reached “bandmates” status.

Ibuki was nervous, not nervous about the date, but nervous about the relationship. Gundham didn’t really seem to show much affection or emote at all really when he was with her. She was so sure he was her destined one but maybe she’d…rushed the decision.

With a visible shaking of her head, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her head. He’d be here soon, no use worrying about things now.

* * *

 

Gundham was not there. Instead, he was dashing towards her place at almost literal light speed. It was unacceptable. He’d said he’d be over there at 5:30pm, but it had just ticked over into 5:32.

 _How Utterly Disrespectful_ He chastised himself, as he vaulted over a large hedge.

“GET OF MY DAMN LAWN YOU HARRY POTTER LOOKING MOTHER FUCKER!”

“Terribly sorry sir!” He yelled back, dodging a large dog and jumping the fence, he turned on his heel, ran through a crowded street, which was so filled up with newspaper venders that he ended up **looking** like the front page.

As all the paper floated away in the wind, he finally made to the doorstep.

_If only the man of metal had not seized my Stone of Besak Zo Diksu, I’d have been here completely on time._

**_Ding Dong_ **

There he was.

“Hiii Gundham” Ibuki said, practically throwing the door of it’s hinges. The self-appointed ruler of the astral plain immediately bowed his head in shame, not even taking the time to look at his girlfriend.

“I deeply apologize for my inconvenience, I should’ve left at **least** 10 minutes earl- “

“Dude, you were like 4 minutes late. Ibuki doesn’t care.” She said, cutting him off with a small giggle.

“Oh, that’s…nice to hear.” He said as he looked up to see the ultimate musician beaming back at him. _S-she looks stunning_ Gundham thought to himself.

Ibuki hadn’t really dressed up for it aside from the small blush around her cheeks and the fact that her usually long hair was tied up in a neat bunched up pony tail, punctuated by a star clip.

“Y-y-y..u-u-u-m…bathroom” Gundham managed to stammer himself, before bolting upstairs.

_Ha! He’s like so total-_

“It’s this way, I apologise” said Gundham, marching back down the stairs and into the bathroom.

 _Ha! He’s like so totally flustered!_ Ibuki smirked to herself, as she looked over at the emerging Gundham

_Hold yourself together Tanaka! You did note fight off the moles of Min-Rah to get nervous from some sparkles!_

This pep talk didn’t really have time to set in however, as Ibuki had already whisked him off to the couch to show him an abundance of little clips she had found.

“You’re desktop’s messy.”

“What? No, it’s not.”

“You do realize you can make folders for your bookmarks, yes?”

“Of course, I do.”

Ibuki did not know how to do that.

“Then why do you have so many stray links?”

“I like it like this.”

“You like not being able to find anything?”

Ibuki just stuck her tongue out at him.

* * *

 

“How much did you reckon this stuff was worth again?” Kazuichi said to his Yakuza friend, who was fiddling with one of the several expensive-looking vases they’d found in Gundhams bag.

“I’d reckon around 13,000 dollars a pop”

“Jesus, why does Tanaka have all this stuff?”

All he got was a small shrug in return.

“Gold stopwatch, emerald gemstone…what else does he have?” Fuyuhiko said, shuffling through even more now.

“Maybe we should stop playing with his stuff…I mean, there could be some powerful things in here”

“Stop worrying so much, maybe Sonia will finally go out with you if you learn about this shit”

Kazuichi puffed out his cheeks and joined in with the rummaging. If Fuyuhiko didn’t know better, he’d swear he heard a small “fuck off”.

* * *

 

“You know that originally, like, Pacman was spelt Puckman but then they changed it…”

How was she so calm? This was a first date, the proving ground of romance. **He** was having a borderline panic attack but the ultimate musician was still chatting away.

“Because, you know, teenagers would change his name to FUCK-Man, haha.”

“I never was taken by video games personally.”

“WHA?” Ibuki almost screamed, shocked, “You mean you’ve never played Mario?”

“No.”

“Halo.”

“No.”

“CHRONO TRIGGER?”

“Did you hear what I said previously?”

Ibuki’s eyes slanted and her mouth turned into a pout “I hate you now.”

“What?” For a second Gundhams eyes lit up with terror.

“Just kidding! Come on, let’s go get food.” She said, grabbing him by the arm and dashing away, Gundham, himself, left flailing in the wind like cape

* * *

 

“WHAT THE FUCK IS IT MAN!”

“I DON’T KNOW, IT JUST CAME OUT OF THAT BLUE CONTAINER!”

A scarily huge blue ghost with seven eyeballs had emerged after Kazuichi had got a bit too nosey with a specific blue jar. 

“GET IT AWAY FROM ME!”

“I’M NOT A FUCKING WIZARD PAL!” Fuyuhiko had grabbed a broom and was swatting the creature to little effect.

“CALL GUNDHAM. NOW!” Fuyuhiko screamed.

“I MADE HIM LEAVE HIS PHONE HERE.”

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?”

“NO ONE LIKES IT WHEN YOU PULL YOUR PHONE OUT AT DATES”

“Well **I** don’t like getting eaten by GIGANTIC CREATURES OF MASS DESTRUCTION!”

* * *

 

 

Gundham, surprisingly, knew a lot about restaurants around town. Ibuki was certainly impressed. They’d gotten sushi to go (may as well have had it there because Gundham took at least 20 minutes making sure the food was completely animal free) before taking a long walk around one of the local parks.

They sat down at a bench, as the sun set over them. Ibuki curled her hands up behind her back in a relaxed position. Gundham meanwhile, was on edge, fidgeting with his earing, his hamsters, anything he could get his hands on.

“Why are you fidgeting so much? You seem like a big ball of stress and nerves”

“What?!...Um, I’m not, it’s an ancient spell that I cast to…” Gundham kept blabbering but stopped as he saw Ibuki sternly looking at him.

“C’mon, we’re dating now…you can’t dodge the issues all the time” It was a surprisingly reserved tone from the usually energetic rock star.

Gundham sighed into his palms, before looking back at his girlfriend.

“Now…I don’t say this often so listen very closely songful one…I feel you maybe out of my range romantically.”

Ibuki locked up for a few seconds, processing what she just heard and converting Gundham.exe into English.exe before breaking out in a smile.

“Ibuki know’s she’s a catch but come on…me out of your league?”

“Why would you not be?’

“Because you’re like **the** coolest guy Ibuki’s ever met!”

Gundham’s arms moved on their own, automatically pulling his scarf over his face. Ibuki tenderly raised her hand to his face and pulled down the purple fabric.

“Look, Gundham, Ibuki’s gut told you her you were her destined one. That’s like a super duper extraordinary honour.”

“I know that, I just find it difficult…to show emotions to other peop-…humans but you…you have no qualms with it. You’re like a big ball of blazing kinetic energy.”

“Gundham, we’re dating…it doesn’t matter how bad you are socially- “

“Ah, that’s what you think, I-it’s actually a tactic to see who is worthy of my companionship. If you’re willing to get close to me at all, I’m impressed. You see, my skin is infected with lethal poison, the mere touch can slay a mere mortal like you.”

“Reeeeeally?” Ibuki said with a smirk, as she propped her knees on the bench.

“Yes, it’s…wait what are you doi- “

For the first time since the end of the world, Ibukis lips connected with the darkest deva of destructions. His eyes widened as he realized what was happening.

His mind told him to do something, to make a move, to put his arms around her neck but the didn’t…he just stood there wide-eyed. Eventually, the musician broke the kiss a sizeable blush forming on her cheeks as well.

“I think Ibukis astral level is super high because I feel totally great!” She said with a wink. “I promised Mahiru I’d hang with her at 8 so I think I’ve gotta dash back to school, but I’ll call you later, okay?”

Gundham just nodded his head, which earned a small giggle from Ibuki, who walked off by herself into the night. Something felt off about that kiss to her though, he didn’t really lean into it at all. The question buzzed around Ibukis head like a vibrator:

_Does he even like me?_

The smile on her face warped into a frown of confusion. She reprimanded herself, telling herself not to worry about it.

As her significant other snapped out of his laugh induced craze, he mentally smacked himself in the head for letting missing the opportunity to kiss her back. His time to dwell on that was left a minimum as he sensed that his dark spirit had been let of its container.

“Drat!” he whispered, before clapping his hands together and muttering “ **Void Step!** ” and in a flash, he was gone.

* * *

 

Gundham appeared at his dorm in a blaze of fire, flames at the ready, prepared to incinerate this creature and send it back to where it came from but what he found was…his friends and the ghost playing cards.

“Guess the ghost win’s again” said the mechanic, as he pushed all the cards onto the astral figures side.

“MOTHERFUCKER IS LOOKING AT MY CARDS, I CAN TELL LOOK AT HIS EYES, HE’S GOT LIKE…8!” The Yakuza shouted, pointing at the gigantic beast which made the aforementioned creature chuckle in response.

Gundham smirked before once again clicking his hands together.

“Mao-Gu! RETURN!” Gundham chanted. The ghost looked shocked as he was forcibly ripped from his position as he was sealed into the vases blue finger-painted pattern.

“Hell yes! I technically win” Kazuchi shouted triumphant as Fuyuhiko stood up from his chair, frantically waving his arms around.

“Nope, nope, nope, nope. Fuck this” He said, slamming the door behind him.

“So, how’d it go?” Kazuichi said, turning back to his best friend.

“Not fantastic”

“Oh no…what went wrong?”

“She kissed me”

Kazuichi took a few seconds to let it sink in “I said what went **wrong** ”

“Look, I love the maiden of music more than anything in this GALAXY, but I feel like it may not…seem that way to her”

“Did you pull away?”

“No, no. I just…didn’t react…at all.”

“Then be extra lovey dovey with her for the next few weeks.”

“HA! That is a hilarious idea! Ruler of the nine realms, sensation of the suture dimension, reality warping extraordinaire, darkest deva of destruction, bender of the galaxy, the first and-“

“Fast forward please.”

“Lord of the astral plane, me Gundham Tanka, acting romantic. Forget it, I would rather swallow done several cyan coloured bionic tentacles”

“That sounds oddly specific”

“Don’t ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick update, Gundham and Ibukis fancy party is delayed indefinitely. Now, the fic itself well update as normal, but I feel alot of the character interaction has to be built up alot more for that chapter to have it's desired effect. 
> 
> What you can expect over the next few weeks is alot more slice of life stuff that doesn't include romance. There will be more Gunbuki fluff fics in the future but aside from that, alot of my ideas don't include ships. The next chapter will be pretty long (and somewhat ship focused) so be ready for that and then I'll be back on the shorter chapters.
> 
> Feel free to leave any questions or feeback in the comments


	10. The Mall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rantaro, Shuichi, Maki, Kaede and Kokichis rag tag team of misfits have a battle with a local mall.

**_Brinnnnng!_ **

The bell rung out, signalling the end of fourth period, meaning that all the students were free to roam the halls as they please, providing each other with essential recreation to stimulate their-

“KOKICHI! GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

“TRY AND CATCH ME, MOON MAN!”

It was almost never used for that. Hopes Peak had stupidly let kids skip classes just because of their ultimate talent which, in theory, would act as a sponge to dry out all the craziness. While this was actually surprisingly minimal (give a bunch of teenagers the option to wag and none of them wag) it didn’t help the lunch room from being any less chaotic.

 _Why couldn’t things just go back to normal_ Juzo thought to himself as he restrained the ultimate supreme leader, who had practically assaulted Keebo, asking where his “laser gun” was.

“So, I’ll meet you at the bus stop yeah?” Rantaro said to his raven-haired friend.

“Cool, cool” He replied, trying to act like this was not the first time he’d ever gone out with a friend. You see, Shuichi had never really had friends, much less ones that were as cool as Rantaro was. He’d always been so caught up in detective work that he hadn’t had time for social interaction.

“Hey Rantaro!” The Ultimate Adventurers attentions were immediately as Kaede Akamatsu strolled up behind him, with a big stack of study books held up.

“Are you ready to work on maths?”.

Ah, the study buddy program as Miss Yukizome called it. It randomly selected two people to study together for the latest test. Everyone had a study buddy (Shuichis was Keebo) but generally, they were used very little, around once a week.

“Ahh! I forgot we were doing this today.”

“Do you want to re-schedule?” Kaede said with a frown.

“No! No! It’s fine, I can do it now.” He assured as he walked away to the library to get some peace and quiet.

Shuichi sighed as he resigned himself to talking to Kokichi, before spying a flash of red and black from the corner of his eye.

“W-what are you doing here.”

“Talking to you, genius.” Maki spat back.

“Why?”

“Because my best friends gone, yours has as well, and do you really want to spend you’re break period talking to that.”

She motioned over her shoulder, to Kokichi who was currently laying on the ground screaming that Juzo had “knocked his block off with a stiff right hand, well, well governor, governor”

“Fair enough.” Shuichi said, flicking the brim of his cap.

There was a good, long, awkward silence before Maki grabbed one of her braids, loosely fidgeting with it.

“So, what are you…doing this weekend”

“Going to the mall. Me and Rantaro are going to see the new Avengers…”  
  
“That’s like, ultra-lame.”

“That’s what you think…” Shuichi mumbled back shrinking into his cap even further.

Maki looked puzzled for a second as observed the boys’ actions.

“Why do you wear that hat all the time?” She said, surprisingly softly considering her usually cold demeanour.

“I just…don’t really like people looking at me.”

Maki leaned over and grabbed the brim, bringing her face surprisingly close to the detectives.

“You’d look better witho- “

Upon realizing what she was doing, Harukawa exploded into something half-way between a blush and a glare.

“Idiot.” She muttered before walking off in a huff.

Shuichi cleared his throat in confusion, shaking his head before he sensed something behind him. He looked back. Must’ve been the wind. There it was again, he thought so he looked back again. Still, nothing there. Okay, that was defintl-

“ITS KOKICHI!”

Shuichis hopes that it was someone cool trying to sneak up on him were instantly dashed.

“Damn, good thing you’re not the ultimate baseball star, because you. just. struck. OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!” Now, Shuichi wasn’t sure how much exactly, but he knew that Kokichis mouth should really be around 30-40 meters away from his ear unlike were it was right now.

“Why are you so loud?”

“What? Loud like this? BRATATATATATATATATA” That was Kokichis jackhammer impression. He knew this because when Adrian Veidt had come to speak at the school for career day, Kokichi had jumped up on stage and started screaming it at the tippy top of his lungs.

_What did I do to deserve you Kokichi?_

* * *

 

“Hey, how was time with your boyfriend?” Maki questioned her friend on the walk home from school.  
  
“What?! No, we’re not dating, we’re study buddys…God that sounds so lame”

“Don’t care, do you want to go to the mall on…Sunday?” Maki spat out so fast that Kaede felt a whiplash of words hit her over the back of the head.

“Sorry…what did you say?”

“You heard me.”

Kaede smirked as she saw a weird desperation in Makis eyes, she couldn’t quite pinpoint why but she knew she had the ultimate child caregiver at her fingertips.

“Sure. On one condition, you **have** to go shopping with me.” 

“I mean…yeah, what else would we do?”

“Oh, I thought this was some big moment.”

“Nope, totally happy to go shopping.”

“Great, prepare for six hours of awesome!” Kaede screamed as she diverted from Makis current path.

“ **Six** hours?

* * *

“What the hell is this?!”

Keebo was astounded at the image infront of him.

“It’s horrible Kee-boy”

“It’s worse than horrible…this is straight code-grey, ROBOPHOBIA!”

_New Toast-O-Matic_

_Robot made to serve bread._

“I have no words...”

“Well, Kee-boy you can’t wi- “

“Actually, no, I do have words, why bread? Why are my brethren forced to serve bread? He’s a bitch…. KOKICHI, HE’S SOMEONES BREAD BITCH!”

“Calm down, calm down. All we gotta do is go over to that mall, stage a peaceful protest, the pressure will be so much, the owner will cave”

“Alright…” Keebo said between inhales and exhales “But who else do we recruit. We need more than 2 people for a peaceful protes- “

“Ah-hm!” A stoic voice brought both boys eyes to the taller, green figure.

“I believe, I can be of assistance” Korekiyo said, as he dramatically struck a pose.

“Get bent, see-saw, go bother someone else, we don’t need y-“

“No, Kokichi, he’s good, he’ll really intimidate the store owners.”

The supreme leader pondered this for sometime before his expression changed from gloom to gleam.

“Yeah, sure, let’s do it. We’ll also need you to get Ryoma in on this because if push comes to shove he can just kill everyone.”

“As you wish. Kukuku”

“Nishishishi”

“Kukuku”

“You can’t do your laugh after my laugh that’s not how this works”

* * *

 

“Ahhh, Maki, your adorable!” Kaede squealed as she observed the dressed-up Maki

“S-shut up she said”. She was wearing a button up red shirt, and her usual long pigtails were contained into two big bunches.

“Who are you dressed to impress?” She snided.

“Do you want to die?”

“Relax, I’m kidding” Kade said laughing.

* * *

 

 “Damn that movie was badass.”

“You say that as if it didn’t completely botch Star Lords growth as a character and Nebulas involvement in the original story.”

“No but, what I did have in mind was Spider-Man and Doctor Strange opening up a double time loop.”

“Which isn’t even possible because the infinity gauntlet, and the time stone in general, doesn’t work like…”

Rantaro stared past him, down to the lower layer of the mall.

“Uh…is that Kaede?”

“Yeah, looks like it.”

“Dude…we have to stay here.”

‘Why?”

“What if she sees me? “Oh, hey Kaede, me and Shuichi just this movie about aliens and now we’re gonna go home because I’m super boring””

Shuichi knew that was way off what Kaede would actually say, but more time with Rantaro and less time at his stupid house was a blessing.

“Fair point. Maybe we should go to some shops.”

“Does my hair look nice?” Rantaro said, completely changing the subject out of nowhere.

“Yeah, why?”  
  
“If she see’s me, I’ll look dope as hell.”

“Well, actually you’ve got a few lopsided ones at the left side…”

Before Shuichi knew it, he was being whisked away to buy hair straighteners.

* * *

 

“So, it says here we can catch the 12 down to the street here- “

“Don’t worry, I’ve got a car.”

Ryoma, Korekiyo and Keebo looked up from their map of the city all looking at Kokichi puzzily.

“How did you obtain said car?” Korekiyo said puzzled.

 “Pretty simple really, I went to a car dealership, got some jumper cables, repeatedly beat down the car shop worker with said jumper cables and then hotwired the car.”

“Well, that’s illegal, but also, I’m guessing the car you stole was expensive, so let’s role.” Ryoma said, already walking out the door with Korekiyo tailing him.

“Guys, I don’t think this is a good idea”

“Too late Kee-boy, you already got peer pressured.” Kokichi hollered back.

“Is that how that works?”

* * *

“So, what do you think of…. this?” Kaede said, showing of her hair in a pony tail, tied up by a sparkly hair pin

“It looks alright.”

“Just alright?” Kaede pouted before her usually bubbly demeanour returned.

“Why don’t you try it on?”

“N-no, it’d look bad on me a-anyway.”

“What are you talking about Maki? You could pull anything off!”

_Why does she have to be so god damned enthusiastic?_

“HOW GREAT IS THIS?” Kokichi screamed, as he leaned over the door of the car.

“We are already in massive shit if we get caught, could you do us a favour and not scream at the fucking freeway” Ryoma piped up from the back seat.

“Is music ok?”

“Fine.”

Kokichi rustled around in his pockets, retrieving various items Kiyo referred to as “unidentifiable, possibly from communist Russia” before pulling out “Kokichis sick mix vol 1.” Which featured a little cartoon Ouma with sunglasses, breathing fire, doodled on it.

He opened the front hatch, before placing the cassette in there and pressing play. Suddenly, a familiar tune blared through the speakers, slowly edging Kokichi to dance along in rhythm.

“Oh, I love this one. Here I go. Here I go. Here I go again.”

As the ultimate Supreme leader jammed out, Korekiyo (who had been driving) leaned over the back seats.

“I require the use of your racket.”

“Sure.”

Korekiyo turned back to the dancing boy, raised the racket vertical to the music player and brought it down. Again, and again and again until it now sounded like the singer had been held under water.

As everyone else looked on in shock, Korekiyo politely placed the racket on Ryomas lap before returning his hands to the wheel.

* * *

 

“Why are you so picky about hair straighteners?”

“It’s not the right goddamn brand.”

Rantaro had been at this for 30 minutes now and it was going to be 30 minutes more if he couldn’t find a shop that just sold god damned “electric sleek” hair straighteners.

“Rantaro!” Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Rantaros worst nightmare had just been fulfilled. Kaede and Maki had just seen them from across the mall. What kind of superman eyesight did this girl have.

“Oh my god, you guys are here too? What a coincidence” Kaede said.

Rantaro awkwardly shuffled his hand onto the back part of his head, making him look like he was doing his best JoJo impression.

“Y-yeah, that’s pretty funny” he said, followed by the fakest fake laugh everyone in the vicinity had ever heard. Shuichis face went back into his cap from second-hand embarrassment.

Rantaro wasn’t the only one who was freaking out though. Maki had strategically placed herself away from the eyes of the ultimate detective, praying that under no circumstances he saw her. She’d thought it was a good idea to come here but now was regretting it.

“Oh, since you’re here, do you want to get something to eat?” Kaede asked  
  
“Sure.”

If looks could kill, Harukawa was on track to stone cold drop Kaede like a statue.

* * *

“OK, do we have the chant memorised?” Keebo said back to his rag tag group as they waited on the fresh green astro turf that surronded

“Now scream it on 3…2…1…”

“ROBOT LIVES MATTER”

“TO INFINITY AND BEYOND!”

Keebo sighed. This was a lost cause. Kokichi had chanted several things that were completely different from what Keebo had tried to get him to. Ryoma at least said the line, even if it was with the delivery of a brick (the same brick that Ryoma and Kokichi had previously tried to use to brake into the store before Kiyo and Keebo stopped them)

“Ayy, Ultimate anthropologist, your lyrics are bottomless, flow glows like phosphorus, popping of rhymes off the top of this- “

“Please spare me the foreplay Kokichi”

“Anyway, what’s that do dad your setting up there.” Ouma said, motioning to the contraption that Korekiyo had set up over his knees.

“If anyone tries to attack us, they’ll step back onto this wooden plank, creating a sort of…see saw effect. Anyway, they’ll trip over, and spill that big bucket of water hung up there, soaking them and giving us chance to escape.”

“Hmm…won’t they just see the big bucket…and the big plank?”

“Yes…well…um….”

Kokichi just laughed and walked off, as Korekiyo was left pondering on how this idea could be salvaged.

* * *

 

Maki did not like Shuichi Saihara. Not even a small bit. She didn’t like his hat or his sissy attitude or his soft stare or his pale green…

No. Maki did not like Shuichi Saihara…so why was she trying so desperately to avoid his gaze.

 _Not that he’s looking at me much anyways_ Maki thought to herself gloomily. _At least I’m not the only one freaking out_

“And then, S-spiderman and D-doctor strange...wait I missed a part”

Shuichi couldn’t watch this. This was awful, this was horrible. His face had morphed into perpetual cringe. Rantaro was lucky Kaede was **somehow** hanging off every word.  
  
“And then…grimace…no, Thanos get’s the purple stone and….”  
  
“Okkkkkay” Shuichi said, cutting Rantaro off “How much money do you guys have on you?”

The responses were very different.

“200 bucks.”

“Are you gonna rob us?”

Shuichi was slightly put off by Makis response before readjusting himself and speaking again.

“Why don’t we have…a shopping spree competition? Whoever gets the best haul wins.” Shuichi offered.

“Oh…that sounds like fun!” Kaede said “Maki let’s go!”. Maki sighed in reluctance as she was pulled away from her seat.

“Shuichi, man, you kinda screwed me over there.”

“Kind of screwed you over?!” It was known that Shuichi just couldn’t raise his voice above a light yell, but he was trying.

“Rantaro, you’re cool, but you have to realize, Kaede isn’t so judgemental! She’s super nice. You don’t need to try and impress her or worry about slipping up around her.”

“I guess your right…now, let’s go win this shopping thing.”

* * *

 

“Kids, go home or I’ll call security” The owner said as Kokichis group made a small circle around the entrance.  
  
“ROBOT LIVES MATTER” Keebo screamed back.

“That’s it…” The owner said as he pulled out his walky talky and started softly speaking into it.

“There’s three ki-juvenile delinquents patrolling my store. What do they look like? Well, one looks at least half his age, the others looking like the green power ranger, there’s one that looks like a what’s it called…Digimon? Whatever, and then the last one is one of those SDBM freaks.”

Kokichi smirked, as he looked back at the owner.

“My organization has over 10,000 members. Kee-boys a robot. Kiyo looks like he’s killed someone…”

“I deny all clai- “

“Ryoma actually has killed someone!”

“Fuck off”

“There’s no way you can take us do-is that a tazer?” Kokichi said staring off into the distance to see a two security guards rushed towards them.

“I say we retreat.” Kiyo whispered

“Good idea” Keebo replied before the whole group burst into a mad sprint.

* * *

 

“C’mon, Rantaro hurry up!” Shuichi said “The girls would’ve already been back at the table by now”

“Patience Shuichi, we need to find a diamond that looks expensive but is actually super cheap. Miss?” Rantaro said signalling to a female staff member.

“Hmm?”

“Where’s your jewellery section?” 

“Jewellery with your hair type? Yeah right.” She replied, walking away.

The words took a while to faze Rantaro. When they did, he silently marched over to the most expensive looking glass creations he could find, and stood there…

Before tipping over the entire display shattering everything on the shelf.

“SHUICHI RUN!” He screamed as both students bolted out.

Rantaro and Shuichi dashed out the door to see…Keebo, Ryoma, Korekiyo and Keebo running away from mall police at full sprint.

“Hey Keebo!” Shuichi shouted

“Oh, greetings Shuichi” Keebo shouted back before turning the corner of the store and disappearing. 

Rantaro looked at the store next to them.

“Buy a bread making robot? Who would buy that?” He said “Anyways, looks like the heats off us for no-“Rantaro stepped one step too many and his foot made contact with a wooden plank.

Suddenly, an outpour of water fell down, completely sloshing Rantaro in liquid. Both boys swear they could’ve heard “SEE-SAW EFFECT” in the distance.

“Hey! There they are!”

God damn, this mall was the fucking worst.

* * *

 

“Rantaro you don’t look so good.” Kaede said as she and Maki saw the two boys running towards them at high speeds.

“MALLCOPSBUCKETBAMSOAK!” Shuichi said.

“I got soaked and also broke 200 thousand dollars’ worth of jewellery, now we're on the run from mall cops’”. Rantaros description barley sounded any better

Maki started laughing but Kaede’s lips rolled into a frown and she closed her eyes.

“What are you doing.”

“Thinking.” Kaede sat there for a long while before an idea finally popped into her head.

“We have a ton of clothes here, why don’t you wear some as a disguise?” Kaede said, reaching into her bag, pulling out another one of her signature pink sweater vests.

“Kaede, you don’t need to…” but Rantaro was cut off by a huge ray of fabric clouding his vision.

“Maki, could you lend your stuff to Shuichi?”

“Not a chance.”

Shuichi mumbled something incoherently, before sinking down the table so only his cap was in view.

“Oh shit, here they come” Rantaro whispered as the two out of breath security guards came stomping down the halls…and immediately tasered Rantaro.

“It was just a different shirt. Did you guys really think that would work?”

“Actually, I didn’t-“Shuichi was tasered to.

“Hey, who’s shirt was that?” The guard asked.

“Mine” Maki said, before Kaede could say anything. You can guess what happened.

“You…can go” The guard said to Kaede but the pianist shook her head.

“No, these guys are my friends, I can’t just leave them.”

“Fine, you can wait in reception for them to be released.”

“Released from what?”

“Mall Jail baby! Mall jail.”

“…. You know, I think that sounded a lot cooler in your head.”

* * *

 

Shuichis eyes fluttered open, orange light flickered through them. Suddenly, they opened fully, revealing a strange Trible mask.

“AAAHHH!” Shuichi screamed but was quickly shushed.

“I am the god of mall jail…just kidding, that’s a lie, it’s me Kokichi!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Shuichi couldn’t think of anything possibly scarier.

“Congrats Shuichi, you made it to the last 4.”

“The last 4 of what.”

“The last 4 to be released obvs. It’s just you, me, guacamole and care child giver now!”

“KOKICHI OUMA!” a voice boomed from the megaphone.

“Guess I’m out! See ya at school Shuichi!” He said, proudly strolling to the door.

“No hat.” Shuichi spun on his heel to see Maki staring back at him from the top bunk of a shoddy looking bed.

“Wow, they have a bed here?” Shuichi said, looking up at the child caregiver’s scarlet eyes.

“Yeah, if people commit mass mall genocide or whatever.” Shuichi laughed slightly at Makis joke.

“Anyway, your hat’s missing.”

Shuichi ran his hand over his hair, realizing the absence of said item. Instinctively, he went to grab a pillow but Maki got off the bed and grabbed his hand…accidentally linking them.

There was a slight pause before both parties exploded into a barrage of blushes and “sorrys”.

“Y-you look nice without it” Maki said.

“Sure, I do” Shuichi, replied blowing off her affections.

“No really!” Maki insisted

Shuichi looked at her puzzled but his confusion was short lived as Rantaro came stumbling into the picture.

“Oh god, man, that tazer god damn hurts!” He said rubbing his forehead.

“SHUICHI SAIHARA!”

“Well guess, I’m out, see you guys later.” Shuichi said, desperate to get away from the awkward situation with Maki.  

As the detective left the immediate vicinity, Rantaro spoke up.

“You’re really not good at this.” Rantaro said with a smirk.

“Rich coming from Mr.PisseshimselfnearKaede. Anyways, I don’t even like that twerp, he’s basically a 14-year-old in a 17-year olds body!”

“Are you Doctor Strange? Because that spell of delusion is stuck right on.”

This was followed by an uncomfortable silence.

“Wow, being with him all the time is starting to rub off on me.”

“Sure is.”

“Whatever. Point is, it’s hilarious that you’re trying to hide it.”

“Same could go to you.”

“Exactly…we’re like romance bros!”

Makis face scrunched up before unfurling into a hearty chuckle.

“I guess we are…except I totally don’t like Shuichi.”

“Sure.”

“Really!” God, she was really doubling down.

“Okay, okay…romance bro” Rantaro whispered.

* * *

 

“Ohmygod, Maki are you OK?!” Kaede squealed as she ran out to hug her friend.

“Kaede, I’m fine” Maki replied, trying (and failing) to distance herself from the hug.

“Good, good! Hey, do you want to go home together?”

“Thanks, but I’m fine, I’ve got to cook dinner at the orphanage tonight.”

“Wow! You cook too?”  
  
“Ha! Barley. Those kids will be served the most average chicken and mash they’ve had in their entire lives.”

* * *

 

As Kaede walked home, admiring the sunset, she thought about how great her day was. She got to hang out with Maki, she saw Rantaro and Shuichi, went shopping. Today was great.

As Rantaro walked home, looking down at his feet, he thought about how bad his day was. He got to hang out with Shuichi (which was cool) but then he made a mess of himself in front of Kaede, got splashed (he was still dripping) and then tasered.  
  
“Hey Rantaro! You come home this way to?”

Time for redemption I guess. Just don’t mess this up.

“Yeah, there’s a lot of ways for me to go home, I sometimes go this way.”

“Oh, that’s cool! We can walk to school together.”

“Y-yeah. That would be actually awesome.”

Kaede walked faster, reaching Rantaros pace and started talking to him. God, she did it effortlessly. Eventually they were joking and laughing just like best friends.

As Kaede waved goodbye and stepped into her house, Rantaro looked back at the sunset.

 _Maybe today wasn’t so bad after all._  

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to, please write down which class I should write about next, since I have a chapter lined up for all of them and can't choose.


	11. Pulp Fuyuh-iction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny fluff chapter.

Fuyuhiko woke up, staggering around his dorm like he was hooked up on some illicit drug. Suddenly, his vision came too, and he gazed upon his shelf and something stood out…in the fact that it was missing.

“Oh shit.” He said, the lack of its presence finally filling him with a sense of dread. He stumbled around through his bag, he pulled out a flier for Teruterus potluck dinner and threw it away, reaching through to find his cell. He messily tipped in some numbers and pressed call.

“Hey Kaz?”

“Yeah?”

“We’ve got a problem.”

* * *

“So, this pot…how import is it exactly?”

“Listen, no one in this school, should get their hands on those herbs. It’s strong as hell. Dad got it from some weird ass jungle town.”

“Okay, so how are we gonna find out who took it.”

“Simple.” Fuyuhiko replied, putting on his suit jacket. “You seen Pulp Fiction?

* * *

“You know what they call a quarter pounder with cheese in France?” Kazuchi asked.

“What?”

“A royale with cheese.”

“Is that true or is that just in the movie?”

“I don’t know man, you said we had to pretend to be pulp fiction. On that topic, why did you give me this suit jacket, it’s a size too big.”

“That’s Pekos, just role up the sleeves a bit and you’ll be fine”

Kazuichi grumbled a bit, before turning back to the Yakuza.

“So, got any theories on who has the herbs?”

“Yeah, well firstly it calms the mind, good for relaxation. What do people do when they’re relaxed.”

“…. Jack of-“  
  
“No! They write genius.”

A small “how the hell was I supposed to guess that” escaped Kazuichis list.

* * *

“W-what the h-hell do you even w-want” Toko muttered as she sat a table, facing Kazuichi, Fuyuhiko leaning on the wall near her door.

“You’re Toko Fukawa right?” Kazuichi said, in a smug tone.   
“No.”

“Wait really?” The tone was shattered.

“O-of, course I am you h-halfwit”

“That’s besides the point! Toko, do you know Fuyuhiko?”

“N-not really, I-I’ve seen him walking around t-the h-halls a few t-times”

“Let me ask you something else…does he look like a bitch?”

“What?”

Kazuchi slammed his hands on the table, shaking it. “I said…does he look like a bitch?!”

“N-no.”

“Then why are you trying to fuck him like one?”

There was a long pause, before Toko looked up disgusted.

“Are you a-accusing me of s-sleeping a-around?!”

“What?! No, it’s just in that…”  


“Okay Souda, I think I’ll take it from here.” Fuyuhiko said grabbing Kazuichi up from the table.

“Look. There’s these herbs that have gone missing. They calm people down, so we thought you’d use them for your writing. Have you seen them?”

Toko looked the picture thinking for a while.

“N-no, I haven’t. And anyway, I w-wouldn’t need h-herbs-“

“Don’t care, let’s go Kazuichi”

* * *

“So, it says here, the herbs increase tenacity and hype, if taken in large doses”

“You know wha-“

“Nekomaru”

“Yep.” Fuyuhiko replied. They walked to the team mangers door, and softly knocked on it. It took around a minute for the Team Manager to emerge, so Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi planned out their strategy.

“So, should I be a bit more aggressive?” The mechanic whispered

“Totally dude, maybe be a bit subtle with it though. Don’t accuse him of sleeping around.”

“That was like, a onetime thing.”

The pair heard footsteps, and quickly stiffened out.

“Oh, hey guys! What’s happen-“

“YOU’RE NOW UNDER MARTIAL LAW!” Kazuichi screamed and pulled out his fake pistol, much to the dismay of Fuyuhiko.

* * *

Fuyuhiko read over the instructions again, and again as Kazuichi nursed his shattered nose. Nothing made sense, pheromones, heightened senses. He just couldn’t figure it out.

He put his finger to the paper, tracing the words until he found it

_Almost Like A reverse mosquito call, attracting bugs to the source._

“I’ve got it!”

* * *

 

There were more people in Gontas room than expected. They expected to have the numbers advantage on the boy, but instead it seems they were in more trouble than expected.

 _Creepy bondage dude and Tennis Ace._ Fuyuhiko thought to himself, as he observed the surroundings.

“How are we doing boys?”

“Gonta is good.” Replied Gonta happily, completely unaware of why Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi were here.

“That’s great. We’d like to speak to the big dude for a minute” Kazuichi said, not quite getting the hint that sounding like they were going to shoot him wasn’t the best plan.

“Then do it, me and Kiyo will finish up the game of cards.” Ryoma replied.

“We need to talk to him in private.” Fuyuhiko replied.

“Well anything you could say to Gonta, you could say to us.” Ryoma replied sinisterly, as Korekiyo snapped his gloves.

“W-well I don’t want to talk to you, I want to talk to him.”

“Then talk to us, then talk to him.”

“How about I talk to him and then to you, and then you talk to him.”

“We were just talking to him; how would that work?” Korekiyo replied.

There was a long silence. Ryoma creepily smirking, Kiyo shuffling his deck, Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko subtly moving their hands to their pockets before it was broken by:

“Gonta is very confused. Who talks who now?” With that, the gentle giant pointed to Kazuichi. This very action set off the nerves in the mechanics brain. Fuyuhiko noticed this but was too late before:

“THIS IS A HOSTAGE SITUATION!” Kazuichi screamed so loud half the school could probably hear him.

Immediately, Ryomas racket came zooming out like a boomerang. Clocking Fuyuhiko in the head.

“That’s not…. fair.” He said, wondering why the racket hit him instead of his partner.

* * *

From there, the situation unintensified. Fuyuhiko explained the situation in full, and the three Class 79 students took it upon themselves to help the boys retrieve the herbs…. But none of them could figure it out. Eventually, this lead the makeshift hitmen back on their way to the dorms.

“Man, we couldn’t find it no matter how hard we tried.”  
  
“Someone in this school is going to be high as a fucking kite by the end of tonight.” Fuyuhiko said, earning a laugh from Kazuichi.

“Guess it’s time to hit the hay.” Fuyuhiko said, taking off his suit jacket.

“Not for me. I’ve gotta go to that Teruteru potluck thing with Gundham and Ibuki, kind of their third wheel.”

Suddenly, the cogs of imagination started turning in Fuyuhikos brain, as one of those words opened up a whole new world of possibilities.

“Teruteru?”

“Yeah, why?”

Fuyuhiko quickly rustled through his pockets and found the list of effects.

“Heightened senses, increased stamina…excellent aphrodisiac?”

The two boys looked at each other, before dashing off in the direction of the cafeteria.

* * *

“And I declare the meeting of the classes officially on!” Teruteru exclaimed as he looked over the big poster which Yasuhiro has scribbled “67 Mets 68 Hhroay” on

Byakuya was still in shock at how he stumbled it quite so badly.

* * *

“It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for…the tasting of the famous, Hanamura diner Stew. I’ve been working on this recipe for 7 years, and you guys finally get to taste my genius!” Tetuteru announced. “And first up for the taste test are…Kyoko Kirigiri and Chiaki Nanami”. To even people who didn’t know about the soups effects, it was obvious that Teruteru announcing those two names was hardly coincidence.

The two girls walked over to the pot, glaring into the brown mixture of gravy, vegetables and meat and both picked up lades (against Kirigiris better judgement).

The strawberry blond gamer dipped her handle into the froth before a loud smash was heard.

“DON’T EAT THE FUCKING STEW!”

There was a hushed gasp as Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi stormed into the room (looking like Vince and Jules had gone through a carwash), guns held high.

“THIS IS A MARTIAL SITUATION…WAIT NO! HOSTAGE LAW! Shit.” Kazuichi said, as he smashed his gun on the ground in anger.

“It’s okay man.” Fuyuhiko said, not once taking his pistol off of Teruteru.

“My, my, gentlemen, why the inconvenience?”

“That stews filled to the brim aphrodisiacs! Take one sip, this slimy motherfucker is going to be all over you.”

“Where’s the proof?!” Teruteru said, a hint of panic in his voice.

“Seriously man? This is like the third time you’ve tried this shit.” Kazuichi yelled back.

“You strike out every single fucking time.” Fuyuhiko yelled.

“What the fuck are you gonna do about it” Teruteru screamed, his façade truly annihilated by the interrogation.

Then Fuyuhiko shot him.

“AHH! MOTHERFUCKER, HE KNEECAPPED ME!” Teruteru moaned, as he rived around in unfathomable agony.   


“Wait, these are real?”

“Mine is, yours is a toy I had when I was 7”

“No fair! Why don’t I get a real one?”

“Maybe when you learn the trade a bit more. Anyway, here’s were we make the cool exit.”

Alas, the two boys turned on their heels and strutted out of the building, the stunned crowd of students ignoring Teruterus pleas for Medical assistance. Truly, good had triumphed over evil...

“Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu and Kazuichi Souda, Report to the headmaster’s office immediately.”

“ **Shit!** ” And that... that was simultaneous


	12. Excursion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feels at the zoo.

**_Excursion_ **

“Everyone, get in line. No not a line like that…another line, two lines. That’s a square.”

God damn, how on earth did Chisa put up with this? Managing 3 classes at once? Munakata was going insane with just this one. He’d seen the lengths she’d went too to organize everything (there was probably more caffeine in her system in the last week then Munakata had drunk in his whole life), and had offered to give her the day off, and he’d take the class on their excursion to the zoo.

Why was he being punished for being a good boyfriend?

As the class finally managed to form a line, Munakata flipped over his clipboard, and turned his head to the sea of faces.

“I will know read out your groups of 5, and you will step out of this line into separate lines.”   

The class let out a collective groan.

“Why didn’t we just go into one bunch?” Kirigiri suggested.

“Because Chisas half-asleep writing looks like Egyptian hieroglyphics. Now for the first group: Makoto Naegi, Byakuya Togami…” 

Byakuya let out a small “yes”, which was seen by the luckster, who gave out a small laugh.

“Yasuhiro Hakagure.”

The sound of his name sent a jolt through the boy, bringing him back to reality. Makoto and Byakuya were forced to drag him out of the line, as he drowsily looked around, trying to figure out where he was.

“Toko Fukawa”

Byakuya frowned as Toko broke out into small shivers of excitement.

“And Kyoko Kirigiri.” The reaction of the formerly mentioned shifted at an alarmingly fast rate.

Togami looked over at his friend and shrugged.

“Drat. This group was **that** close to perfect.” He said, making a motion with his index finger and his thumb to signify it. “Anyway, I’ve got a new strategy to keep that dreadful filth away from me.” Naegi rolled his eyes, but it didn’t stop him pulling out his phone as he saw the writer approaching.

“M-master, I c-can’t believe we’re i-in t-th-“   
  
“You’ve reached the esteemed number of Byakuya Togami. I cannot make it to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep.”

**Beeeeeeeeeep!**

Tokos expression changed to shock.

“W-what?”

 Naegi cringed as she sounded absolutely gutted. There was a long, awkward silence…which was interrupted by a beep.

“You’ve reached the esteemed number- “

* * *

 

Fukawa grumbled to herself as she sat on the bus. How could master prefer sitting next to a pot-smoking hippy instead of her. She wished she could sit with him…all she got was stupid, happy all the time Naegi.

“ _Let the voice of love, take you hiiiigher!”_

His voice dripped of fake kindness. She knew he probably talked about her behind her back, constantly laughing at her. She knew it, she knew his fake-nice type.

She looked over next to her and saw Naegi holding up one of his headphones:  
  
“Do you wanna listen?”

“I-it’s probably c-coated with g-germs, I-I’ll get an i-infection and t-then I’ll die, and then you’ll p-probably l-laugh at m-m-my funeral.”

There was a long pause, as Makoto stared at her wide eyed.

“I-I’m sorry…y-you p-p-proably hate me now” Toko said, barely above a whisper.

Makotos stare of shock turned into a soft smile.  
  
“I don’t.”  
  
“Maybe you d-don’t because you n-need me.”

“How’s that?”

“W-well, y-you’re a total l-loser, and s-so am I, so I-I guess we f-fit together.”

Makoto gave out a small laugh, mistaking Tokos words as sarcasm, before he turned his attention back to his phone.

_I know his type._

* * *

 

The whole class let out a sigh of relief as they made contact with land for the first time in 30 minutes. They split of into their groups, with Byakuya and Kyoko leading the way.

“Well, I say we go over to see the birds first.”

“Why the birds?”

“They bring me a certain sort of…piece.” Byakuya said with his trademark smirk, unintentionally cracking Kyoko up.

“So, when your sleeping does you just blare bird noises?” The Lavender hair girl said

“What?! No, that’s…”

“Oh, I can’t do my homework, guess I’ll just chuck on some birds fucking squawking.” Yashiro said, and suddenly it seemed like Byakuya was on the receiving end of a run-away bandwagon.

“That’s not what I-“

“Don’t they say you need to be relaxed to bust a nut?” Makoto said, a devilish smirk approaching his features. Kyoko saw where this was going and busted out into laughter.

“Do you, HAHA, do you play bird noises while you’re jerking it?!” Makoto said, a bit too loudly for everyone’s taste.

Toko couldn’t believe this. Master was being…made fun of? How dare they talk to him this way? He was a god on earth. The ultimate affluent prodigy. They couldn’t just…  


“You of all people, have no moral high ground to stand on, Naegi, you shelf fucker.”

Makotos laughter quickly fizzled out, and it was replaced by Yasuhiro bellowing into tears.

“W-what happened” Toko said, speaking up with morbid curiosity. Yasuhiro turned to her, slightly surprised that she’d even bothered to talk to anyone besides Byakuya.

“S-so, here’s the story:” Yasuhiro said between, small, erratic fits of laughter. “Me, Byakuya and Makoto were hanging out in the city yeah? Me and Byakuya were attempting to smuggle pot out of this weird Chinese artefact store”

“ **I** was there for the culture.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“I thought we established, that was bird sounds” Kirigiri butted in.

“Anyway, we then hear, this big loud voice over the loud speaker “WE HAVE A CODE GREY IN PROGRESS AT IKEA, I REPEAT A CODE GREY” and we remember “Hey, that’s where Naegs is right?” so we dash done there and there’s fucking Makoto COVERED BY SHELVES THRUSTING UP!” Yasuhiro couldn’t contain himself and burst out laughing, having to lean on Byakuya for support…then they heard it.

“Ha..Bahahaha” Toko was laughing and not the creepy laugh she did when ever Byakuya insulted her, but an actual genuine laugh. As Yasuhiro and Kyoko smiled in surprise, and Byakuya looked absolutely disturbed, Makoto saw his chance to defend himself.  

“I-it wasn’t what it looked like. I was checking out teapots, when this guy ran past me and pushed me over into a shelf. Then that shelf hit a shelf…then that shelf hit another shelf, and then they looped back and crushed me. I thought, I was fucking dead okay.”  
  
“So your natural reaction was to fuck the shelf?”  
  
“Shut up.” Makoto said, jokingly punching Byakuya on the arm.

“You shut up.” Byakuya said punching him back. The boys shared a laugh, before Byakuya looked back to his map.

While this small action seemed normal for all parties present, Tokos head was racing with ideas. Makoto was a complete zero, a loser, someone who no one liked…why were him and Byakuya joking around like best friends.

_Makotos a great friend and you’re so lucky he tolerates you._

_Makotos the nicest person I know and you’re lucky to have him as a friend._

_I’m surprised he deals with you on a day-to-day basis._

She remembered him saying all these things but she never thought…he really meant them, she thought it was all a ploy to get rid of her. Now she wasn’t so sure.  
__________________________________________________

“What would any of you like to drink?” Byakuya said. Toko nervously shock her head.

“I’ll have a juice” Makoto said.

“Yasuhiro? What about you?”

“I’ve got this here…herbal tea…I don’t need anything.” Byakuya mentally calculated how much of that tea was cannabis, before turning to Kirigiri.

“You?”

“Coffee, but you’ll never get my order right, so I’ll come with you.”  Kyoko said, moving quickly, passing the heir, who slowly followed her lead. Tokos expression turned into a grimace, as she stood up to follow her “master” but the sound of soft laughter brought her back to reality.

She looked over to see Makoto and Yasuhiro sitting on the soft grass, throwing bread crumbs to some of the nearby birds that had huddled on the ground. Yasuhiro looked up and noticed Fukawa.

“Hey Toko! Come sit with us!”

“W-why w-would I w-want to sit w-with idiots l-like you.”

“Got anything better to do?”

Toko looked over at the heir and detective chatting like old friends, sighed, and, defeated, let out a small

“No.”

“Then come on over.”

Toko slowly walked over to the pair of boys and kneeled down on her knees. Yasuhiro attempted to hand her a piece of bread, but she just gave him an icy stare.

“Take the bread.”

“I don’t want to t-take the bread.”  
“Do it.”

“Knowing you it’s p-probably spiked with a-aphrodisiacs.” She tensed up but immediately relaxed as Yasuhiro laughed an actual sincere laugh.

“Sorry.”

“No offense taken” Yasuhiro said “You can never be to careful with people like Teruteru in this school.”

“D-d-don’t even g-get me s-started on him. The amount of times he’s a-attempted to lure m-me into a b-back room is s-staggering.”

Naegi felt a twinge of anger well up inside him but managed to cool it in time to re-enter the conversation.

“I mean, you could probably just beat him up. Isn’t He like 4 foot 3?”

The whole group shared a faint laugh, and that aura of positivity never went away. As soon as she knew it, Toko was having a…good time. Sure, she wasn’t socialising that well but it was hard to really screw it up when she was talking to Makoto and Yasuhiro of all people. She was…happy.

* * *

 

“1-part milk, one eighth of a sugar packet and extra whipped cream, please” Kirigiri said to the man at the counter. The man grunted and handed her a drink.

“You really think I couldn’t have ordered that?”  


“You can’t say please.” She replied bluntly.

“I absolutely can.”

“You also can’t say best friend, friend, thank you or anything nice to Toko.”

“I also coined the term disgured, a mix between disgusting and disturbed, but nobody ever brings **that** up.”

“What was your inspiration for that one?”  


“Toko...shit!” He said as he walked right into her trap.

“Why do you hate her so much?” Kyoko asked, holding back the smile she always had when Byakuya got flustered.

“Because she is the Bain of my existence.”

“Why though?”  
  
“The nega-second coming”

“Answer the goddamned question.”

“Look, in her current state, she is utterly delusional. Her self-esteem is at the all time low I’ve ever seen in a human being. I am not in a position to bring it back up like **some** people can. Besides, I prefer a strong, salt of the earth type women, romantics like her do nothing for me.”

Kyokos mouth formed into an o.

“Wow that was a really well thought out answer”

“I know.”

“Annnnnnnd you’ve ruined it.”

* * *

 

As Byakuya walked back to his friends he prepared himself for the onslaught that was Toko Fukawa…but nothing happened. She noticed his presence he was sure of it, but she just kept talking to Makoto (or more like listening to Makoto she didn’t actually talk that much.)

Byakuya, slowly sleuthed away to continue talking to Kirigiri but he was in awe…Makoto Naegi was the most remarkable individual he’d ever seen.

On the bus drive home, Toko sat with Kirigiri. She didn’t want to, but the boys had bagged the three-seater at the back of the bus, and she didn’t want to spoil their fun with her presence.

Kirigiri was initially surprised to see Toko willing to sit next to her, but she was fully inviting. Toko couldn’t be concerned about her though, she was having a mental war with herself.

Did she even like Byakuya anymore? He was always so mean and negative…but he told her the truth about herself. Makotos fake charms would wear off, only Byakuya could tell her the truth, she was sure about it…but maybe she wasn’t?

As the decision started to way down heavy on her, she dug her nails into her arms, something the detective noticed.

“Why are you doing that?”

The sound of Kyokos voice shocked Toko back into the real world.

“I…W-why do y-you care?”

“Because somethings bothering you, and as a result, you’re bothering me because I’m sitting right next to you.”

“I d-don’t w-want to talk about it.”

“Why?”  
  
“T-the b-b-better question i-is, why s-should I t-tell you? Y-you don’t know me.”

Kyokos eyes slanted as she looked at the literary girl.

“You’re highly paranoid of others because you’ve had extremely rough experiences in the past and you’re afraid of getting hurt so you always assume the worst about someone as soon as you met them because you’re highly in fear of even the smallest bond being broken.”

Toko went a wide eyed for a moment before turning back to her hands.

“I still d-don’t want t-to talk about i-it.”

“That’s fine, what do you want to talk about then?”

Toko let a small look of confusion escape her face.

“Look, it’s gonna be 30 minutes until we’re back at school. I may as well do something.”

So, they talked. And, despite the fact that she “stole” her master away, Toko liked Kyoko…and by like Kyoko, she meant didn’t actively want to see her fail.

* * *

 

As the students fled the school, getting up to whatever they wanted to do that day, Toko looked at the setting sun, on her walk home. She thought, but Byakuya Togami was the furthest thing from her mind, she thought about the fact that she might’ve actually made some friends, and for once, she didn’t doubt herself, she didn’t think about the bad things that could happen, she just smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now just to clear up the ending, Toko's not all good and normal now, she just is in that moment. Her social problems haven't all gone away because she made some friends. 
> 
> This chapter basically serves as the turning point from Toko chasing Byakuya, to Toko and Makoto chasing each other.


	13. Rainy Day Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Super fun, Gunbuki fluff nothing out of the ordinary.

Ibuki sat near the window of her dorm, repeatedly strumming the string of her guitar, waiting to get the right rhythm. Her eyes gazed upon the window, watching the rain drop down. She tried to listen to the earths rhythm, the _pitapatapitapata_ on the window, but she felt her eyes lingering on her classmate’s downstairs.

Nagito laughing at Hajime as the luckster protected his head with his hoodie, Mikan helping Mahiru with her photography, moments earlier Gundham and Kazuichi had been skipping stones on puddles in the flooded basketball court. That reminded her, where did Gundham go?

A loud knock at her door gave her the answer. With a soft smile on her face, she got up and opened it.

“Mahiru informed me you were working on a new song.”

“Yeah, but…I don’t know, it’s so hard to get in the flow you know?”

“I do not…but I did get you this.” Gundham said reaching into his backpack and pulling out a small cardboard cup.

“Dude, thank you so much!” Ibuki said, grabbing the breeder in a hug, to which he slightly flinched, backing away.

 _Guess he still isn’t 100% on board with physical contact._ She thought to herself glumly. Ibuki flipped the cup over to check his receipt, browsing through the order.

“How’d you get my order right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Ibukis order is super complicated and she only went with you to this shop, like, once.”

“Yes, and why would I not be capable of memorizing it?” Gundham said raising an eyebrow.

“Whatever, this is exactly what Ibuki needed, thanks.” Gundham awkwardly tapped her hand (which Ibuki thought might’ve been his attempt at striking **something** up) before walking away.

“If you need anything songful one, I’m just in my dorm studying the art of dark magic but I’ll be at your aid as soon as I feel my cellular telephone vibrate” He said.

Ibuki closed her eyes and focused again… _Pitapatapitapatapitapita._ Her fingers moved on muscle memory and she started once again strumming. With that down pat, she started coming up with placeholder lyrics.

“ _C’mon, yeah, Move to the beat. I’m waiting for the day when I can sweep you off your feet.”_

* * *

“You ready.”

“Completely.”

Ibuki smiled at her boyfriend as she closed her eyes and started strumming. Gundham flinched for a second, he’d heard some of Ibukis music before and well….it was good, it was really, really good…but it also hurt his ears, it really, really hurt his ears. He was prepared for a song of that calibre but what he got instead was, Ibukis voice softer than he’d ever heard it before.

“ _…Off your feet.”_

Ibuki took no notice of her boyfriend as she recited her lyrics. She didn’t need a notepad, she just remembered. _Maybe Gundham thinks like this with his coffee orders._ She continued to sing but her train of thought was interrupted when she heard a small sniffle.

She looked up to see Gundham, face tucked into his scarf.

“Wha-Are you crying?”

“No, I’ve just got something in my eye.” Gundham replied but his cracked tone gave it away.

“Oh my god…you’re actually crying.”

“I-it’s just a really powerful song.”

Ibuki couldn’t help herself as she exploded into fits of small laughter. Gundhams face of sadness quickly turned to one of slight annoyance, as he stared back at her.

“You dare mock the overlord of the eternal flame?!” Gundham said, sadly sitting up and walking back to his room.

“No! No! No! Gundham wait!” But it was too late, Gundham had already walked away. Ibukis laughter quickly turned into a looming sadness as she mentally berated herself.

 _Nice One Ibuki, you fucking stuffed it up again._ She knew Gundham would get over it, probably by the time dinner rolled around but this was her chance, her chance to…

The final lyrics slipped off her tongue in a sombre tone.

“I’m crazy insanely, stupidly in _love_ with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, next chapter will actually be a proper cute fic with these two.


	14. Fumigation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dorms are Being Fumigated, so everyone get's split into groups

**_Fumigation_ **

Today was F-day, the day the class 77 had been dreading for the last week…the day where the dorms had to be fumigated.

“As head of security, we have found possible contaminable substances in one of the dorms and don’t know if it’s spread. We are fumigating the dorms just to be safe, better safe than sorry as I always say.” Juzo said through the mic. There was along awkward silence before Hajime piped up:

“Your speeches really suck!”

Juzo glared at the boy, before he walked over to Chisa and whispered in her ear harshly.

“Make the dorm groups co-gendered.”

“What? Why?”

“Do it, security order, do it.”

“I mean…okay, I’ll have to write up new groups.” Juzo smugly, walked back up to the podium.

“Your dorms are now co-gendered.”

He smiled the biggest smile as he heard the kids all simultaneously groan in anguish.

* * *

 

“I don’t even know why my dorms being fumigated! I was one of those unreliable types.” Mahiru exclaimed angrily, as she packed up her room.   
“At least we get to bunk with Hajime and Nagito, they’re not entirely braindead.” 

Chiaki nodded, lost in thought. The fact that they were chosen with those two names seemed very suspicious to her. Then, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks… _was this the best route?_ It seemed the universe had shifted to put them together, it couldn’t just be a coincidence.

 _My Luck works in mysterious ways…_ Nagito thought, realizing, yes, it probably was just a coincidence caused by him being himself. He discarded the thought and opened the door into Hajimes dorm.

“Do you know how to knock?” The brunette said, as he was tinkering with a small, Star Wars branded Lego set.

“You know you should probably put that away, before Mahiru goes off on you for being a kid.”

Hajime just scoffed at his remarks “I don’t care what she thinks.” Nagito sighed and put his bags down on the ground, but the sound of rustling brought him back to Hajime. The Lego was no longer there.

Nagito, unlike everyone else, had actually been excited about the fumigation, stating he’d “never had a sleepover before”, which was only half true, Hajime had slept over at his place plenty of times, and the ultimate ace attorney didn’t think that staying in an identical dorm really counted as a sleep over.

**_Ding Dong_ **

Hajime mouthed “see?” to Nagito, who laughed in return before he put his hand on the doorknob and opened it up.

“Hey…I was expecting your room to be way messier.” Mahiru, stated, deadpan as she walked into the room.

“Wow, right out the gate.” Hajime replied.

* * *

 

“Uhh there’s nothing to do” Ibuki cried out as she stomped around Gundhams dorm. “How long do we have to be here?”

“O-only 1 n-n-ight” Mikan said, looking over at the punk rocker, who was bored out of her brain. They’d been here for 3 hours already, and only Kazuichi had the foresight to have any kind of technology. Mikan parents wouldn’t let her have anything, Ibuki left all her stuff at her actual house and Gundham claimed he couldn’t use his phone here because it would “dampen the spirits chakra with so many mortals in the area”.

“Gundham?” Ibuki whined, initiating a reaction from the eternal lord.

“Hmm?” He said, scouting himself over towards her. Ibuki leaned back into him, causing a heavy blush to take over his face.

“Have you got any DVDs?”

“Um…I believe so, let me check.”

He somehow willed himself up from Ibuki (much to her cutely dramatized dismay) and went over to behind his shelf scowering through.

“I do not have many, but it is enough to make it through the first night.”

Kazuichi spoke up from the ground next to Mikan. “Well Tanaka, give us the options.”

“Death Note.”

“Netflix or Re-Light?” Ibuki said, not leaving a nanosecond before he was done talking.

“Re-Light. Would do you take me for?!” Gundham said, feigning offensiveness before continuing.

“Godzilla.”

“Specifics.”

“This isn’t an interrogation, songful one.”

“Well if it’s 1998, I’m marching out of this room and joining a different group.”

“It is…. Vs. Mechagodzilla II.”

“Okay, that’s good!’

“English dub.”

“That’s bad.”

“But I can switch to-“

“JUST PLAY THE GODAMNED MOVIE ALREADY” Kazuichi shouted.

* * *

 

**_Slurp, Slurp, Slurp_ **

There was that sound. The sound that haunted Chiakis nightmares. Hajime slurping on a drink A.K.A the ultimate cockblock.

“How much rum is in that Hinata?” Mahiru snidely said.

“None actually, it’s an orange crush.” Hajime replied triumphantly.

“Sure…”

“You just wish it had some so you could try it.” Hajime teased, making Mahiru falter a little bit.

Chiaki couldn’t understand it at all. Hajime and Mahiru’s dynamic was unique to say the least, one minute they were bickering like an old married couple (Mahiru calling him “unreliable Hajime”) and the next they’re all over each other like best buddies. Maybe, they didn’t like each other but Mahiru was one of her best friends, she could tell when she was overcompensating and that was always with Hajime.

Contrast that to Nagito who seemed to be constantly on edge near her, and she was a little…jealous, so she decided, conversations and social interaction could get fucked she had Spoon Maiden, Dug-Dig and Slowic The Porcupine all installed, that would last her till the next morning at least…then her system died.

But there was no way, she was on 91% when she got to the dorm, that should last till the end of next week, at least. Then she realized, she’d left the screensaver on all of last night instead of sleeping the system.

 _What a bum_ She thought, reaching for her charger…but she got nothing but air. _Oh no…It’s at my parent’s house isn’t it?_ She mentally chastised herself.

“Wow? Your system ran out of charge? Bad luck” Nagito said, shaking his head.

Chiaki then felt a fury like she’d never felt before engulf her. _Thank you Nagito, thanks for taking one second to look up from your nails and pay attention to me, that insightful comment really helped me._

Chiaki promptly grabbed her hood and pulled it all the way around her head.

Mahiru, who was in the middle of laughing at Hajimes joke, took notice of her friend’s anger.

“I’m…. gonna go grab something to eat, Nanami, you want to come?”

 “I’m good” Chiaki replied, mumbled by the cloth.

“Fine, Hinata, you’re coming with me.” Mahiru said, walking off in a huff.

“…. Welp, guess I gotta follow her.” Hajime said, completely oblivious to the fact that no, her words were not legally binding.

* * *

 

**_DA DA…. DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DA!_ **

“Oh, this is the best bit!” Ibuki cried out, nudging Mikan a bit too hard in the ribs.

On screen, Godzilla, grabbed the super adaptor from Mechagodzillas back and threw him through several buildings.

“God damn, those buildings are so destructible, you reckon some window washer accidentally pushes his blinder too hard when he’s scrubbing and the building just collapses?” Kazuichi said earning a laugh from everyone in the room.

Gundham suddenly closed his eyes, before they sharply snapped open.

“It is dawned upon night time, and I recall Miss Yukizome saying we had to buy our own food.”

“We-we could get some f-from the s-storage l-locker.” Mikan said, which lead to a long silent pause, before everyone there exploded into hectic laughter, even Mikan nervously giggled to herself.

“I am 66.98ths percent certain that that food is recycled dust that has been shaped into a digestible molecular structure. No, what we need, is actual food. Which I can retrieve for us, if we all pitch in an adequate amount of money.”

“But I don’t want you to gooooooo.” Ibuki said, dramatically snuggling into his neck while Souda pulled a fake throw up face.

“Neither do I, songful one, but it must be done to retrieve…. I don’t know…let’s get pizza”

“Oh, Pizza?! Be gone, go go!” Ibuki said, pushing Gundham away almost immediately to go grab her wallet.

“I’ve gotttttttttttt, Seven fifty.”

“I-i-I’ve got six.”

“Four.”

Gundham looked up at the mechanic with a smirk.

“Heavy spender.”

“Bite me.”

Gundham, went back to counting coins, as well as throwing his own into the pile before coming up with a grand total.

“Twenty-four dollars, which is enough for two larges. Kazuichi, I trust you will be accompanying me?”

“Sure, I got nothing better to do.”

“Well, we will see you in half an hour.” Gundham said, walking out the door with the mechanic in tow.

* * *

 

_Stupidnagitowhy’dhedoeshehavetobesostupidandoblviousallthetimewhydoIlikehimwhydoI_

“Oh, I see what’s wrong with you.” Nagito said, from behind Chiakis head. She raised up and the hood came up from her face.

“You do?”

“Yeah…your tired, and my constant tapping of my feat is disturbing you. I’m so apologetic Chiaki, I’d never disrupt an ultimate from getting the proper amount of sleep.”

Chiaki huffed and sat back down with her cheeks puffed out. Meanwhile the other couple in their group were currently sitting in the dining hall, completely alone.

“So…what are you doing?” Hajime asked, being cut off mid-sentence by Mahiru, who had grabbed pepper, salt and sugar and was mixing them together on a small plate.

“I dunno, maybe I’ll invent a new spice.”

“You cook?”

“Yeah.” Mahiru spat back, with a lazily mad expression “My deadbat dad isn’t going to help and my mums not even home, so I **have** to.”

“Oh, that’s kind of the same for me, except I still can’t cook, I just buy some 2-minute noodles and put them into the microwave.”

“Are you kidding?” Hajime wanted to say yes, but instead he murmured out a weak “no.”

“Oh my god! I’ll have to teach you sometime.”

“Why?”

“Why...WHY?!”

Hajime flinched at her sudden outburst.

“What if you meet a girl, and then you have kids and you have to teach him how to cook. “Well Kiddo, just pop some two-minute noodles in there and your set” No! Then he’ll be unhealthy and die. What good lessons could you possibly teach him, if you can’t teach him the bare essentials?!”

Mahiru panted and looked up to see Hajime with the biggest “I don’t want to laugh but I’m gonna really hard” face.

“S-sorry.” She said nervously, a light blush faltering onto her cheeks.

“It’s fine” Hajime said with a smirk “Sometimes when I’m talking to people, I also talk about how their future children are going to die from ODing on two-minute noodles.”

Mahiru’s embarrassed frown turned into a brighter smile real quick.

“You’re never gonna let me live this down, will you?”

“Nope.”

* * *

 

“Two Large pizzas, one meat lovers and one vegetarian, please and thank you, good sir.” Gundham said before sitting down next to Kazuichi.

“Wow, you and Mioda, sparks are flying.”

Gundham slightly laughed before Kazuichi continued.

“You have to give me tips.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m very well suited to charming Miss Sonia.”

“Well, you kind of are, since you did it by accident.”

“Let me rephrase that: I’m not well suited to getting **you** to charm Miss Sonia.”

“Thanks for the words of support.” Kazuichi mumbled to himself before Gundham cut him off.

“Never the less, you helped me and I must complete the equivalent exchange.”

“Thanks dude, that’s super cool of you.”

“Is that it? My services are usually upwards of 10,000 and it’s super cool?”

“Uh….” Kazuichi stammered out.

“I’m joking.” Gunham laughed, letting the mechanic breath a sigh of relief.

“They’re usually only 5,000.”

* * *

 

So, the time had come for the dreaded lights out, where the internet for the whole school would be shut off and the kids would be forced to go to sleep or talk.

As Ibuki got in her pyjamas she heard a small squeak that sounded almost like her name.

“I-Ibuki?”

“Yeah” the punk rocker whispered, so the boys who were just washing up in the bathroom couldn’t hear.

“I-I’m sorry if I made things a-awkward b-between y-you a-and h-him.”

“What? You mean Gundham? What did you even do?”

“I-I was h-here, I g-guess.”

Ibuki didn’t get mad at her like she thought. She didn’t shout, she didn’t scream or hurl abuse.

“Gundhams great, but this night would’ve been so much lamer if you weren’t with me the whole way through.” She said.

Mikan blurted out several thank yous, before Gundham dramatically swung open the door and marched out.

“You really need to make everything a performance, don’t you?” Kazuichi joked before setting down on his bed roll. Gundham did the same but Ibuki had a very strategic plan that was about to take effect.

“Night Gundhaaaaaaaaa- “and out like a light she went, collapsing on Gundham like a stack of bricks. The boys face immediately turned bright red.

“Kazuichi. KAZUICHI!” He whispered harshly, leading the mechanical boy to roll over to face him.

“What do I do?”

However, it was Mikan who spoke up

“Y-you s-should probably l-let her s-sleep there, s-shes really t-tired.” Mikan said as she lay down on her side, trying to get some actual sleep for once.

Gundhams blush faded as he smiled. Best sleep he’d ever had.

* * *

 

Nagito noticed something was off immediately. She should be out like a light, she always is even during the day, the fact that she wasn’t snoring tipped him off. Nagito himself never slept, no, sleeping was bad because it made him think too much. He didn’t like thinking.

“Somethings wrong.” He said aloud. As expected, Nanami pretended to be asleep.  

“I may be trash but I can tell you’re not asleep, don’t try and hide it.”

Chiaki reluctantly sat up and looked over at the luckster, crawling over to him (carefully scuttering around Mahiru and Hajimes bed rolls.)

“What do you want?”

“Look, you’re mad about something, probably me, and I deserve it, soooo…do you want to go get coffee?”

Chiaki looked at him strangely

“It’s after curfew, we could get in a lot of trouble if Juzo or Miss Yukizome catches us.”

“All the more fun.” Nagito said, with a glint in his eye, but it wasn’t the one Chiaki saw in the bar, this one was surprisingly…charming. Besides, Chiaki had a lot of pent up anger today, and doing something she wasn’t supposed to sounded pretty appealing.

So, they snuck out, through the front, dashing through the oval and squeezing through the gate. The streets were quiet, alarmingly so. She spotted only 5 cars on the streets in total (which was expected for 2 in the morning). They eventually made it to a starbucks and sat outside.

“So, what’s got you down?” He asked taking a sip.

“Well…. Mahiru and Hajime were hanging out all day and I feel like you didn’t…really want to talk to me.”

Nagito took a minute to process that information before he exploded into apologies.  
 

“Chiaki, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize- “

“Don’t be sorry. I was acting like a kid.”

“No, it was entirely my fault, I was so oblivious, I can’t believe- “

“Nagito, stop.” She looked him dead in the eye, and Nagitos tone immediately softened.

“Okay, okay…sorr-wait shit!” He jokingly said, earning a cute laugh from Chiaki. From there, they just sat there and talked. 10 minutes turned into 30, 30 into half an hour and half an hour into 2 hours.

As they begrudgingly left the company of conversation to walk back to school, Chiaki looked at him and asked herself the question:

_“Why do I like him?”_

It was that one time, wasn’t it?

* * *

 

_Chiaki didn’t know what to do. Being class rep was so hard, she didn’t even want to do it anymore. All day today everyone was telling her ideas about what to bring up at the next school meeting. It felt like the world was closing in, so she sat in the storage closest playing her games, just letting the light of the setting sun talk to her._

_Then she heard a knock which she responded to with a surprised groan “How did they find me in here?” She thought. Opening the door, revealed Nagito._

_“What are you here for?” She asked, blush filling her cheeks, she’d always had sort of a crush on him but she really knew nothing about him. He regularly wouldn’t attend class and was constantly erratic with speeches about hope and despair._

_“Come to talk to you.” He said, sitting down next to her._

_“About what?”_

_“Chiaki, you realize your everyone’s hope right?” Nagito said. “Here we go” Chiaki thought to herself, as she settled in to one of his boring speeches._

_“If you’re everyone’s hope, you don’t need to be so hard on yourself all the time.” Now, that…that actually surprised her._

_“W-what do you mean?”_

_“Well, your sad because you’re hearing a lot of ideas but can’t do them all right?”_

_“Y-yeah.”_

_“You don’t have to. Don’t put yourself through all this stress for things you don’t have to do, there’s no hope in that.” Nagito softly said. “But don’t take it from trash like me. Ask around, they’ll all tell you the same” With that, he walked off._

* * *

 

With that thought, Chiaki slowly drifted to sleep in her bed _That’s the reason_ she thought and feel asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more 78 chapter, one more 79 chapter, (maybe a Gunbuki fluff) then we're on track to Gundham and Ibukis Fancy Party.


	15. Centre Stage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keebo, Ouma, Shuichi and Rantaro put on a stage play to impress girls. It goes about as well as you expect.

**_Centre Stage_ **

“Rantaro, I thought I told you…”

“Yeah, yeah…I know, Kaedes super nice and she doesn’t care…. but what if she thinks I’m ultra-weird. Could you just ask? “

Shuichi gave out a sigh, tired of arguing. He, Kaede, Ouma and Keebo had been placed into a group project where they had to design a model catapult for wood tech. Rantaro was lucky, as he got Korekiyo, Kaito and Miu, who had already finished the project, so the sessions just consisted of them trying to convince her to not take all the credit.

Shuichi sat down on the floor with his group, and mentally counted, 5…

Kokichi sat down next to Keebo.

4…

There was an immediate fidgeting of his fingers.

3…

A licking of the lips.

2…

He looked over his surroundings, this was the one hitch that might go wrong…but it didn’t, his eyes located Keebo.

1…

The gleam in his eye got a whole lot brighter, and he took a small but sharp inhale.

“Kaede, Keebos looking at your boobs.”

There it was. The theory that Shuichi called “the 5 layers of Kokichi” worked to its full effect.

Kaede scoffed, and slightly blushed but not as hard as Keebo.

“WHAT?! Kokichi I’m not! Kaede he’s lying.”

“Huh? Why you getting mad? It must be true. See Kaede, GUILTY!” He said pointing a judging finger at Keebo which the robot slapped away. Ouma let out a growl and ran over to one of the laptops stationed at the tables…and smashed it on the floor.

“You see that Kee-boy?! I JUST BUTCHERD YOUR WHOLE FAMILY.”

“That’s grade S robophobia!”

Kokichi suddenly grabbed at the laptops remains and pulled out a few of the scraps from the heap, before looking at Keebo with a deranged glint in his eye. He sharply inhaled, before channelling his inner Green Goblin:

“I WILL FEED YOU YOUR OWN CHILDREN!”

Keebo rushed over to the reversable door behind him and flipped it, separating him from Kokichi.  He peeked up over one of the windows and gave out a triumphant “HA!” as Kokichi scrambled to figure out a way to get into the walled area.

“Well…you’re popular.” Shuichi said with a smirk as he looked back at the only other sane **human** in the room.   


“Hmmm…you probably wish you could get attention like that from Maki, huh?” Kaede smugly fired back, easily rendering Shuichi to a stuttering mess, his jumbled speech sounding something like:

“No- that’s- hmmm-yeah, funn-that’s- that’s funny- HAHA- funny st-em” Suddenly, he closed his eyes and made a small “tsk” with his mouth before dropping back to reality.

“Okay. Well, you wanna play like that, I will…shoot off potential boyfriends, and you have to react to them.”

“Sure, if I get to do the same to you with…girls?” Kaede said, question hanging in the air as Shuichi quickly nodded approval.

“Uh…. Kiyo?”

“Not much into BDSM”

“Good to know.” Shuichi clicked his fingers to his side, where Kaede observed Ouma banging on the window screaming “I’m about to go HBK on your ass when I get in there”

Kaede shook her head in disgust.

“Uhh…how about Rantaro.” The plan was working.

Kaede made a small noise that Shuichi could only interpret as slightly positive.

“He’s nice and funny…buts he’s a bit too cool, you know.”

The image of Rantaro stuttering and calling Thanos, Grimace by accident made Shuichi doubt how high Kaedes bar of being “cool” was.

“He’s like…a playboy, that’s it, not really my type at all. He doesn't seem that vulnerable...ever”

Oh, He was not going to react to this well.

“Now, I get to quiz you!” Kaede said, with **way** too much enthusiasm.

“Tsumugi.”

“She thinks Guardians 2 is better than Guardians 1. Hard pass.”

“Himiko”

“Nice try, FBI.” He said back, which earned a small laugh from Kaede

“Maki.” She said, continuing to laugh.

“Now- that- that’s not- look- I- don’t…”  
____________________________________________

“Playboy?! I’m not a playboy!” Rantaro said, defensive.

“You kinda of look and act like one, to be fair…especially considering your talent.” Shuichi reasoned, leading Rantaro to nod in resignation.

“We just need to give you something that makes you look vulnerable. What does Kaede like?”

The boys thought for a moment.

“Hey, let’s both list something about Kaede, and we’ll stack words. You start.” Rantaro said.

“Piano”

“Playing Piano.”

“Playing piano on stage.”

The boys got to the conclusion simultaneously:

“A stage play!”

“Staging me getting shot in a robbery.... I feel like we got to the same conclusion there.”

“Totally…anyway, we’ve got to do one for drama class anyway don’t we? You and I can act, and we get Kaito as the third actor and Kiyo as our sound guy!”

“Sounds good.”

“OR DOES IT?!” a booming voice came from above the two friends, who locked up to see…Ouma staring down at them through a hole in the vents.

“I have several questions, but number one…how much did you hear?” Rantaro said sheepishly.

“Enough to know you REALLY LIKE-“ He was cut off by Shuichi and Rantaro hurriedly whispering.   


“Okay, Kokichi, what do you want?”

“I want to be your sound guy.”

“Wait, that’s it?”

“Yeah, sure. Kee-boy also has to be your third actor.”

“Why?”

“What would a supreme leader be without his second in command? He’s the Batman to my Joker, the Light to my L. The- “

Shuichi and Rantaro walked away to find the robotic boy as Kokichi rambled on.

“The Goring to my Hitle- Wait! You guys, I can’t get down from this vent!”

* * *

 

The four boys met up in the library to decided what they would perform.

“I say we perform the classic story of Top Gun.” Kokichi said as he sipped on his Panta.

“Uh…why?”

“Cause ‘Taros top **gunning** for a piece.” Kokichi said punching the air with his hand. “Bump me!” Keebo did so without hesitation and so did Shuichi, much to the annoyance of Rantaro.

“Shuichi, c’mon dude.”

“It was pretty good.”

“Fair enough. Seriously though, what should we do?” Rantaro pondered.

“How about the three bears? It’s a safe, easy pick.” Shuichi reasoned.

“But we’ve only got 3 actors, we need 4.”

“Actually, I can change colour on the fly.” Keebo said, shifting the normal black metallic look of his suit to a lighter, blue one.

“Wow, Kee-boy that’s actually awesome. Can you imitate voices too?”

“No. But I can do this: “Wow, Kee-boy, that’s actually awesome!”. Recording device!”

 

* * *

 

So, the time finally came for the boys…. not really big performance, but legally obligated class performance. However, when they arrived their normal dram teacher wasn’t there.

“What happened to Mr. Naekazawa?” Himiko asked to the man…wearing a bull mask? Not exactly anyone’s first choice for a drama teacher.

“Oh…He is gone. Something about “lunatic kids in this class.” However, I am Great Gozu! Your new drama teacher!”

“What talent do you have that makes you qualified to be our drama teacher?” Kokichi asked from the back of the room.

“Ultimate Wrestler”

“Uh-huh” The ultimate supreme leader smugly nodded.

The performances commenced as normal, with a few slip ups along the way such as: Korekiyo refusing to take his mask off and flipping out when Kaito attempted to forcibly remove it, Miu adding an extra “fuck” to every sentence and Gonta somehow delivering a perfect performance.

The most notable blunder (in Shuichis opinion) came when Maki (who had been convinced by Kaede to take her hair down instead of in their usual scrunchies). She was already embarrassed about it enough, but when her eyes locked on Shuichi staring at her in the stands, she broke out into a mad blush and Kaede had to forcibly shake her out of it which was probably the most awkward thing that could possibly happen when Maki was sitting right next to the detective.

As the girls came back from their performance, Kaede was all smiles and adrenaline as she leaned over the-not present Makis seat, to talk to the boys.

“How did we do?”

“You were fantastic Kaede. Sometimes, I forgot you were acting.” Rantaro said decently chill, as noted.

“Yeah, you were really good.” Shuichi added, still slightly put off (or I guess put on?) by seeing Maki with her hair down.

“Thanks! When your up on stage so much, it just kind of becomes muscle memory, you know?” Kaede laughed to herself.

“Uh…these are the problems with having long hai-.” Maki emerged from the darkness of the theatre, struggling to tie her hair back up to its usual twintails, she paused when she saw Shuichi, about to break out into blushes once again before Kaede crash tackled her in a hug.

“You did so well!” Kaede almost yelled.

“Thanks mum.” Maki sarcastically said, rolling her eyes.

“You actually did do pretty well, Harukawa.” Rantaro said as he casually folded his arms over his head. “Don’t you agree Shuichi?”

Shuichis eyes darted left to right to left to right.

“Uh, y-yeah, s-she did r-really god. Really good, Maki- “Both of them were in a full-on blush at this point and it would’ve be fine if they ended the conversation there but Shuichis heart didn’t want to do that, his brain told him “yes, end the conversation” but he didn’t and, with what should’ve been a non-existent breath, he muttered out:

“P-pretty.” He regretted it immediately. Rantaros mouth formed into an “O”, Kaede started to laugh, and Makis fading blush returned with a vengeance. She hesitantly took her seat next to the raven-haired boy and immediately found her hands wandering to the one twin tail she’d actually done up.

“I-idiot.” She murmured as Shuichi sunk further into his cap.

* * *

 

“And we have our last performance of the day!” Gozu screamed with a bit too much enthusiasm. Shuichi glumly made his way to the narration chair, his cap so far down his head he could basically bite the hem.

“The three bears lived in a cottage near the river.” He said, with the delivery of a scammer on ebay. “If anyone dared enter the bears cottage, they’d be eaten alive.”

**_HAHAHAHAHA_ **

Shuichi looked over and saw Kokichi had just pressed the button that queued the laugh track. He shot the boy a dirty look before returning to his speech.

“They were currently down- “

**_HAHA._ **

Shuichi looked up again. “They- “

**_HAHAHA._ **

“They- “

**_HAHAHAHA_ **

Shuichi just sat there looking at Ouma, who responded with a good sampling of piped in clapping and cheering. Shuichi attempted to switch off his microphone.

“Ouma, you little scumbag, I’m gonna come down there and- “His voice came out louder than expected, and he realized that he hadn’t turned the mic off.

“Sorry, didn’t switch it off.” He said back to the crowd before looking back at Kokichi and marching over to him.

Rantaro decided to take stage as to fill in the time and read his lines.

“A-um…” Rantaro decided it was a good time to play mental tennis.

“Like, I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t learn my lines, I just watched Russian car crash videos up until 3 in the morning.”

This earned a genuine laugh from the crowd, as Rantaro went on to recite his lines and Keebo eventually got on stage wearing…an unfortunate choice of colours.

“Keebo, change colours.” Shuichi hastily whispered, getting back on stage.

“Why? I know it’s a pattern, not a colour, but-“

“Do you know what a “swastika” is?” Shuichi asked, once again getting picked up by the supposedly turned “off” mic.

“Processing…oh…changing colours right away” Keebo said, his hue changing from red, black and white to blue and green. With that, the play continued with Rantaro and Keebo re-enacting a conversation between papa and little bear.:

“Papa bear, why do we live seclu- “

“Look, Keebs, I’m gonna stop you right there. Is it bothering anyone else that he is only a few inches shorter than me. Like, he’s supposed to be my son, but he’s up to my nose.”

Shuichi smacked his face (which hurt everyone’s ears as it was caught by the microphone) and Kokichi rapidly pressed one button.

**_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA_ **

Keebo, who’s nerves were shot enough, freaked out at this and started registering random commands.

“Unload previously searched data: _Die Fahne hoch! Die Reihen fest geschlossen!”_ His speakers blurted out at such high frequency everyone in the rooms ears were at risk of being bloodshot.

At this point, Kokichi saw his chance, and rushed the stage, smashing himself through the prop house, completely demolishing it.

“YOUR HOUSE IS INADEQUATE BY WORD OF GOD!” He screamed, as he picked up the prop trees and chucked them at Rantaro.

“I AM THE NEXT JESUS!” He screamed at the top of his longs.

“If you’re jesus, then I’m judas because- THIS MOTHERFUCKING MIC!” Shuichi screamed, as the feedback hurt his ears. He picked it up, snapped it in half, harshly slammed it on the ground and started repeatedly stomping on it before giving full chase to Ouma.

Ouma relished his roll as he pushed a tree on top of Rantaro who shouted out “FUCK YOU MOTHER NATURE AND FUCK YOU TOO JESUS!” Keebo was still curdled in a ball…an epilepsy inducing, nazi reciting ball and Shuichi was trying to give his best chase to Ouma who was leap frogging Rantaros pile…but then he heard it, the one thing that could but him off his game.

Himikos laugh. He’d made her laugh? He’d made her laugh! Time was moving in slow motion as he scanned the room for her, spotting her in-between Tenko and Tsumugi. God, she looked so-

**_BAM!_ **

Shuichi speared him with the force of a speeding bullet right into Rantaros pile of trees, taking them both out.

As the classes laughter died down, there was pure silence. A full 10 seconds of crippling, mind numbing silence…before the sound of clapping was heard. Only one pair of hands, but a strong one, Great Gozu rose to his feet.

“That…that was beautiful!” He cried out, literally, he was crying. “The pure chaos encapsulated in that piece….my love goes out to all those who participated, fantastic work!”

The only response was from under the pile of trees, as Rantaros arms shot up and he meagrely shouted “we did it.”

* * *

 

“I guess it turned out well, but that little shit really needed to ruin the performance?” Rantaro said as he walked down the street with Shuichi. Shuichi had thought long and hard about this question for a while as well, until the answer was made aware.

“I’ve got it…he did it to help you, Rantaro. Kaede said you needed to look vulnerable, and he made you look pretty vulnerable.”

“Your telling me.” Rantaro said, still not being able to completely feel his shoulder.

“So, in the end…was it really worth it?” Shuichi asked with a laugh.

“Well Kaede told me after how funny it was, so yeah, on the contrary, it was uh, eh-um…p-pretty worth it.” Rantaro replied with the smuggest face Shuichi had ever seen.

“You know, I can’t even be mad at that.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Gundham and Ibukis Fancy Party

“No, seriously, it was really romantic!” Nagito tried to convince his sceptical friend.

“Look, explain what happened, because she once chose the same juice box flavour as you and you said “sparks were flying.” Hajime replied.

“Our hands brushed and she blushed!”

“That means she likes you.”

“Hinata, you know she’s way too good for me, I could never drag her down like that…” Nagito said sombrely, almost like he was trying to convince himself of it as well.

“Fine, but only for tonight Nagito! How are you going to avoid her forever?”

“Well actually, that’s simple...” Komaeda replied, as he brought out a giant white board with a century worth of indecipherable scribbles on it.

“I have planned every week, from today to graduation to make it so I minimise all my time with her.”

Hajime sighed, face palming.

* * *

 

 “Why did you make the invitation look like a dick?”

“What?! How dare you accuse me of such heresy, maiden of music! It is a magically branded amulet that…oh my god, it looks like a dick.”

“Yep, just hand them out testie first so no one can tell.”

“Good plan”

With that, the colourful duo burst into the classroom, invitations practically bursting out of their arms.

“We are hosting a diner party!”

“Dinner party.” Ibuki quickly corrected.

“And everyone present in this room is invited.” Gundham said, handing invitations around.

There was some pleasant chatter before Fuyuhiko held up his invitation.

“Is some weird orgy thing?”

“Not unless you try and start it, haha.” Ibuki laughed to herself.

“Then why is the invitation a dick?”

Gundham gave a brief murmur of an excuse, before sighing, and walking over to his pencil case, retrieving a pair of sharp purple scissors. He snatched the invitation in a huff and cut a few pieces off the penis.

“Are you satisfied now?”  


“Nope, it just looks circumcised.”

* * *

 

“Oh god, this has thrown a real spanner in the works…and now she’s actively trying to talk to me?! My plan is ruined!”

“Hold on…what do you mean actively trying to talk.” Hajime said, with a hint of anger in his tone.

“Uh…nothing.”

Hajime didn’t buy it for a second and lunged for Nagitos phone. The luckster darted out of the way but his cell didn’t come with him and feel right into Hinatas hands, who quickly switched it on to see:

_Missed calls: Chiaki Nanami (10 missed)_

“Nagito…what the hell. She obviously likes you, just ask her out.”

“No, she doesn’t! She thinks she does but she doesn’t, she shouldn’t.” Nagito said, his tone quickening. As if it was on cue, the phone started vibrating and Nagito quickly snatched it, answering the call.

“Oh god, you actually answered. Nagito, I’ve been trying to rea- “

“Who’s Nagato?” Nag **i** to said, putting on the worst British accent Hajime had ever heard.

“…What?”

“This is Dave Britian from the Leisure Society Division or LSD. What’s your name miss, so I can put it through to one of my higher ups?”

“Nagito, I can see your number on my screen right now.”

“That Nagito fellow sounds really, uh, undatable, maybe you should pick someone- “

Hajime, acting upon gods will, pressed the button to end the call. As funny as that was, he also didn’t like where it was going.

“Nagito, you might actually be going insane.”

“You know who else was insane? Barrack Obama…”

“I don’t think that’s accurate.”

“And by protecting her, just like Barrack protected the American people, I am Barrack Obama.”

“No, you’re not.”

“No, I’m not, but still, If I can just…”

“What? Emotionally hurt her into hating you?”  


“Yes! See, now we’re on the same page.”

Hajime sighed. He prayed for his soul that Mahiru was going to be at the party tonight, because if he was stuck with **this** for the rest of the night, he might go insane.

* * *

 

“Uhhhhhhh, setting up partys is so hard!” Ibuki said as she somehow dragged herself over to hang up decorations. “Akanes extra food space, I already have the plumbers number on stand by in case Nekomaru goes to the toilet…why does everything have to be so difficult.”

“I know, my love, but it’s the price we pay to have to the most awesome dinner party in all of the 15 realms.”

“You know what else is awesome? This!” Ibuki said, quickly pulling a string leading to a horrifying mummy (like really horrifying, skin and little bits of blood crusted around the mouth) swinging down at Gundham…to no reaction.

“Wow…that didn’t scare you?”

Gundham shook his head.

“Well then…Ibuki has a new mission…to scare you!”

“A glory driven endeavour, but inevitably a fruitful one, maiden of music.”

“Ha! We’ll see.”

“Yes, we will.”

“ **Yes** , we will.”

“I agree.”

“I disagree.”

“So, you withdraw?”

“What? No, I…Okay, I’m just going to scare you alright.”

“Hmph.”

* * *

 

“Nice party isn’t it?”

“I guess.” Mahiru replied back. “Not much going on though.”

“Really?” Hajime smiled back, opening the door to reveal Nekomaru throwing a whole jug of Orange Juice at the ultimate imposter before shooting a lighting bolt at the table.

“Not much that **I** want to participate in.” Mahiru clarified.

“Fair enough.” Hajime said.

Mahiru slightly leaned back towards him.

“Sometimes I feel we’re the only sane people in this whole school.”

“Yeah, it starts to feel that way after a while doesn’t it?”

The two friends shared a soft laugh before their eyes locked. It was if all time had frozen as they stared at each other. Mahiru was the first to falter into a blush.

“S-sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Something about this felt so right. Their hands moved on their own reaching for the others…

“Google, play romantic music.” Nagito harshly whispered taking both of them out of the moment. Mahirus head snapped up and she saw Nagito tapped to the ceiling of the room.

“What. The. Fuck?!”

“Nagito, c’mon man, I let you stay up there on the condition you wouldn’t say anything.”

Mahirus glare snapped back to Hajime.

“You knew he was there?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that information.” Hajime spat back, without the smallest bit of apology in his vice. Mahirus glare turned to a face of frustration as she sat up and walked away.

“Unreliable, both of you!” And she slammed the door on them…before opening it a creak.

“And I’m telling Chiaki you’re here.”

Nagito let out a yelp, before pulling out a pocket knife and cutting himself lose from the tape.

“Don’t worry Hajime…”

“I wasn’t”

“I’ve got a plan.”

Oh no. Hajime had seen what Nagito was capable of…which in this instance, was rushing out the room, grabbing some sticks and hiding in a bush.

* * *

 

Gundham walked into a room to fetch the vacuum cleaner, grumbling about how clumsy Ibuki was to drop all those sweets on the carpet when he was bombarded with the sound of gunshots.

“Got…” Ibuki screamed as she jumped out only to see Gundham unimpressed “you?”

Gundham just shook his head.

* * *

 

“Nagito!” He stood still, with his eyes closed, if he couldn’t see her, she couldn’t see him.

“Nagito! I can see you in there, bushes don’t have arms.”

Chiaki crouched down, near the bushes.

“What have you been doing?! I’ve been trying to reach you all day, I really need to talk to you about…us.”

“Us?”

Chiakis annoyed pout turned to a scarred gaze.

“Oh no…please don’t tell me it’s not just me. I know I’ve never been good at dating sims but that’s…”

Nagito knew it was right to say yes. That it was just her, Nagito didn’t care, she was just being silly, but when he looked up at her eyes, seeing tears almost welling up, he took the selfish choice, like the piece of trash he was.

“No, It’s not just you.”

Chiaki breathed a small, sharp sigh of relief before looking back up at him.

“So, do you want to go out with me?”

“Chiaki…your too good for me, I don’t deserve to go out wi- “

**_SLAP!_ **

Chiaki smacked him right across his face.

“Stop it…please.” She said, barley above a whisper “Stop putting yourself down all the time, your better than- “

Then he kissed her. It felt good, **really** good. Chiakis surprise wore off and she attempted to wrap her arms around his neck, but the jolt of her touch also jolted him back to reality, and the white-haired boy yanked away.

“What?”

“T-this, isn’t right…no I can’t let you do this Chiaki, this is the biggest mistake of your entire life, I’m sorry.” Nagito hastily spat out, quickly pushed himself off the ground and breaking into a mild sprint.

“No Nagi- “Chiaki started but her voice stopped, she didn’t want to care.

* * *

 

“Crickets!” Ibuki screamed as she threw fake bugs all over Gundham, to no effect. She let out an exasperated sigh.

“This is never going to work is it?” She asked with a pout to which Gundham laughed and nodded.

“It does not seem like it, but that is the price you pay when you romance a dark lord, nothing phases u- “

Gundham was cut off by the sound of the radio being turned up.

“ _Together we’ll break these chains of love.”_

The supposed “dark lords” expression turned threatened and he started scanning the room.

“Where is t-that infernal sound coming from.”

Ibuki watched in amazement as he jerkily looked around.

“Your scared of chains of love.”

“What?! Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You totally are! HAHAHAHA!” Ibuki laughed as her boyfriend darted around for the music box. “ _Don’t give up! Don’t give up!”_ She teased.

Gundhams disturbed face was replaced with a sombre smile.  

“Now, that’s just beautiful.  I like the notes significantly better when you sing it.”

Ibuki blushed in response. 

* * *

 

Mahiru knew something was off when she saw Chiaki heading for the door with her hood up.

“Hey, Nanami, what’s up?”

“It’s nothing.”

Mahiru smiled at her.

“Come on, don’t go hiding secrets like that unreliable type” she motioned over her shoulder to Hajime

“I can hear you!” He shouted back which made Mahiru giggle.

“Nagito kissed and then ran.” Chiaki said, putting her hood down. Mahirus playful smirk quickly turned into blistering anger.

“That scumbag! what an unreliable, deadbeat, asshole, m- “

Chiaki looked up at her with pleading eyes, an ice to Mahirus fire.

“I’m just gonna go back to my dorm. You stay here, have a good time.” Chiaki said back, putting on a fake smile.

“No, Chiaki, I’ll come with you, it’s no problem, I swear.”

“Thanks.” Chiaki said, as she walked off with her friend.

* * *

 

Nagito sat in his dorm, head in his hands, rocking back and forth.

_Idiot. You’ve hurt her even more now. No, it was the right thing, dating her would be selfish. She’s everyones hope, I can’t take her away from everyone._

His train of thought was derailed by a small knock on his door. He knew it was her, only she walked like that and only she knocked like that. Every 30 minutes, he’d hear that same knock again…

It took all he had not to open the door.

30 minutes latter another knock came…this time he opened it up. It wasn’t Chiaki, but it was exactly the person he needed to see at that moment.

“How you doing buddy?” Hajime asked in a whisper.

“Not great.”

“You need to go apologise to her.”

“Hajime, I did the right thing in not- “

“No, you didn’t. Let me put it this way, the one thing you want is for Chiaki to be happy, right?”

“Yeah…”

“So, it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to “drag her down” or whatever, she wants to be with you.”

Nagito stared at his hands for a while before looking up.

“You’re right, again Hajime. Never ever give up right?” He said with a bitter laugh.

Hajime smiled at his friend, and patted him on the shoulder

“Say sorry, get together, get some rest.” He said before leaving to return to his own dorm.

Nagito sat there for a few minutes before picking himself up and begrudgingly knocking on Chiakis dorm. He heard the sounds of her system and her shuffling, but no footsteps.

“Chiaki, it’s me.” There they were. The door flung open with the force of a megaton nuke.

“I just need to sa-AHHH!” Nagitos sentence was cut off, as Chiaki roughly grabbed his arm and threw him into her dorm.

“Chiaki, I’m so sorry th- “

“Don’t apologize.” Chiaki spat back, sternly. “Just tell me why you did it.”

Nagito was about to speak when he actually looked at her face. He saw little red sploches around her eyes. Not a lot, but she’d been crying. He did this to her… _I did this to her._

“I just thought that…You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met, the brightest shining example of hope I’ve ever seen…other people deserve that hope, not trash like me.”

“That’s stupid.” She said bluntly.

“Really, Chiaki it’s- “

“You’re stupid. People aren’t deserved other people, Nagito.”

“Entirely true, but someone like me- “

“And you’re not trash. Your funny and your smart and you get me, so I like you.”

“I like you too.” He murmured back.

“Good, so I can do this.”

And then **she** kissed him.

This time it was Nagito who was taken aback but he moved in the opposite direction. Instead of pulling away, he moved in. The kiss was eventually broken due to lack of air. Chiaki leaned in to him.

“Please don’t run away.” She nervously whispered.

“I won’t, I swear.” Chiaki looked up at him with a big smile before taking a big yawn and collapsing on him, it’d been a long night.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That moment where the kiss and run was supposed to be a multi chapter story-line but you get swept back in your own angst and have to write a happier ending. Seriously though, I figured Hajime would be all over that shit and I thought that was a nice little moment.


	17. Hidden In Plain Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just Some short Komanami fluff. Nothing more.

**_Hiding in Plain Sight_ **

Chisa isn’t suspicious when she notices how both Chiaki and Nagitos moods improve when they’re around one another. She isn’t suspicious when she notices how touchy feely they are for just kind of friends. But there are a few things that make the Ultimate Housekeeper slightly more aware (especially since she considers Chiaki to basically be her daughter…although the papers for that were declined)

She sees Chiaki falling asleep on Nagitos shoulder in the library, but Chiaki does that a lot…not usually on people’s shoulders, but she digresses. Nagitos nice, and he wouldn’t shove her off if she was comfortable. She swears she hears him call her babe a few times but she’s older, maybe her ears are going.

Then, at the school sleep in, she hears something that can’t be denied by her age or the characteristics of both parties.

The school sleep in as a small event Chisa organizes every few months. She says it’s a good way for the class to bond, and become less attached to their homes, but really, she realizes that a lot of the 77’s home lives aren’t great and she wants to give them a chance to stay somewhere when they can’t be in their dorms.

She was having a hard time getting to sleep (doing work in her head) but was drifting off finally…until she heard whispering to the far side of the room.

* * *

 

“What’s wrong, babe?” Nagito asked sleepily, sitting up carefully to position himself to the back of Chiaki without waking the heavily sleeping Hajime to his side.

“What? Why would you think somethings wro-”?

“Chiaki, you’re a sleep machine and when you don’t, that’s when somethings up.”

“It’s nothing, really. I’m just…cold.” Chiaki blushed at the end of the sentence, obvious implication seeping out her tone.

“Hmm, it is chilly tonight.” Nagito said, oblivious to the request.

“Yeah, I just need something to warm up with.” She said, another hint dropped. There was a long silent pause before Nagito put his finger on his chin.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m getting the implication.”    

Chiaki puffed her cheeks out. Dating sim guy, he was not.

“I want you to get in my sleeping bag with me.” Chiaki harshly whispered out with a heavy blush.

Nagito paused taking the time to let that sink in before a familiar problem arose. His hands and face started to sweat, his genuine smile turning into a creepy one, as despair formed a pattern in his eyes.

“You really want to share your bed with trash like- “

“Swirly eyes.” Chiaki had that shit on lock.

“Right, sorry.” Nagito said, before slipping out of his bed roll and sliding into Chiakis.

“Wow, you’re warmer than I am.” Nagito whispered as he settled into his spot. Chiaki turned around to him, pouting.

“Well you better put way more effort into warming me up then.”

Chiaki leaned into his chest which gave him the chance to rain a string of kisses down her neck, changing the gamers expression from a pout to a small smile as she giggled.

Little did they know, Chisa had seen the whole thing.

* * *

 

“How could they be so reckless, anyone could’ve seen the- “

“Chisa, you need to calm down. We dated on and off for years, don’t act like your above it.” The air to hopes peak headmaster spoke up from his cup of tea.

“Yeah, but we were stupid about…us, I don’t want Chiaki to do the same thing we did.”

“She won’t. She’s calm and thoughtful and he’s tentative and intelligent. They’re a hell of a lot more compatible than we were.”

“Ha, when did you get so rational?” Chisa said with a warm smile.

“When you weren’t.”

The pair shared a laugh (Chisa listed that as the only time she’d heard his.) before Munakatas favourite emotion appeared…long, dead, silence.

“So, about those legal adoption papers- “

“Nope.”   


 

 


	18. What Is Art

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ending for this is straight batshit.

**_What Is Art?_ **

The Hopes Peak annual art meet was a small activity a first-year class was supposed to do every year, where they would explore the school and paint what they thought truly symbolized hope. Truly, this grand task was the talk of the 79th clas-

“Ant-Man and Wasp isn’t a good movie okay? It just isn’t.” Kokichi screamed across the room at the ultimate detective.

“Oh, maybe you’d think that…if you were stupid!” Shuichi was normally quiet, subdued and lacking self-confidence. This was not one of those times.

“Oh yeah, “I have magic hands!” Brilliant screen writing. Move over Pulp Fiction.”

“Did you even watch the film?! If so, you would have taken note of the excellent cinematography that lends new beauty to the performances of the character- “

“WOULD YOU BOTH…SHUT…THE FUCK…UP!” Maki shouted over the two boys, whose reactions were drastically different.

“Sorry, H-harukawa.” Shuichi said, blushing as he realized how loud he’d been.

“Jeez…talk about time of the month.”  Kokichi whispered to himself…however, when you are forced into an assassin program since birth, you begin to develop very good hearing.

“What?” Maki said turning her head to face Kokichi, with venom in both her eyes and voice.

For a moment, the supreme leader was stiff with fear. He had never been so sure that he was going to be killed. Slowly, as Maki edged towards him (luckily being held back by Kaede slightly), his mind shifted into third gear.

 _Say something really witty and relevant that everyone (not just Keebo) will get._ His brain told him. Kokichi proceeded to say something really stupid and barley relevant that only Keebo would get.

“Your orphanage is the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I just wish I was back in So-Cal…SCU!”

The only other sound in the room was Keebo instinctlevly calling out “SCU!”. Maki was left staring at him, confused before her facial features softened up and she pushed her fingers together.

“Kokichi, I’m this close to kicking the shit out of you.”

“Your fingers are touching.”

“Yep.”

There was a long, painful silence.

“SCU!” Kokichi hollered again.

**_WAM!_ **

* * *

 

“Makiiiiiii! How could you do this to me?!” Kokichi wailed as he grabbed onto Makis arm as they walked along the park edge.

 _This is karma._ The caregiver said as she observed her group. No Saihara, no Kaede, not even her _romance bro_ (She used that term very loosely) Rantaro. Nope, Kokichi and Kaito.

“Get the hell off her, Ouma, you’re making all our ears bleed!” Kaito angrily shouted as he grabbed Ouma by the arms and attempted to throw him away like garbage, the supreme leader, however, quickly ran away.

“Ha! Nice try Buzz Lightyear…oh, that’s actually pretty good, I’m keeping that, that’s what I’m calling you know.”

Kaito proceeded to chase Kokichi around for a little bit, as it always went. _I couldn’t have been stuck with bigger idiots._

* * *

 

“Angie, jesus, slow down.” Ryoma yelled to little effect, as he and Korekiyo struggled to keep up with the energetic artist.

“But Ryoma, there’s so much to look at… and what will we make, a sculpture? A mask?”

“I once attended a village gathering where the form of art was nipple clamps.”

“Oh yes! Nipple clamps, that could work.”

“Or…how about a regular painting.” Ryoma spoke over both of them.

“Classy, simple, elegant…classic! I love it!” Angie said enthusiastically, before literally going faster than either Ryoma or Korekiyo had ever seen before.

“Nipple clamps really?”

“Yes…Village of the mochi people.”

“That’s just a word translated into Latin, isn’t it?”

“Maybe if you knew Latin you’d know. Do you know who knows Latin?”

Ryoma let out a massive sigh before looking up “Wh- “

“It’s me! I know Latin.”

“Yeah, well, we didn’t all put our time and effort into learning an obsolete language, Kiyo.” Ryoma replied with a smirk before starting to walk away.

“No, instead we put our efforts into wooing Miss Yonaga…”

Hoshi turned around and Korekiyo braced for a cutting-edge response.

“No…shut up!”

Kiyo began to laugh, he began to laugh very hard. It was like a small child denying they’d stolen a cookie from the cookie jar.

* * *

 

“What you painting, Shuichi?” Kaede asked as she looked at Shuichis “artwork”

“Well I decided to paint, uh, colours. The colours of what I like about hopes peak. In sort of a ying yang symbol kind of deal”

This explanation caused a very sudden realization to go off in Kaedes mind, as she observed his interesting choice of pallet.

“Hmm, and how did you think of these colours?”

“Well they just came to me subconsciously you know. When I think of the good in hopes peak, this is what popped into my head.” Shuichi said with a nervous laugh as he turned to face the pianist. Upon seeing her smile though, his nervous confidence started to shift.

“What’s so funny?”

“Look back at the colours.”

Shuichi did as she asked and observed his work for a little while. Nothing weird about it, just red, white…brown…oh no. He started having a mini-panic attack. Man, this was so embarrassing! He can’t believe he…  


“Shuichi.” Kaede brought him back to reality. “Is Maki really the only thing you like about Hopes Peak?”

“No, it’s-it’s not supposed to be-it’s not- “

“You really need to ask her out.”

Shuichi went full tomato at this point.

* * *

 

“Should we all present our paintings?” Angie asked as Korekiyo and Ryoma pulled theirs into few.

“Sure. I’ll go first.” Ryoma said, hastily pulling down the cloth hiding his painting, exposing it to the world…

“Uhh…what is it?” Korekiyo asked.

“Well…that blob is me with two machine guns and those blobs are the mafia, who I’ve shot…multiple times, and I’m standing over the bodies holding up the machine guns.”

“Oooooooooooookay.” Angie said, her regular smile twisting into one of confusion. “Kiyo, how about you?”

Korekiyo elegantly pulled off his tarp to showcase what appeared to be scribbles of pink on blue.

“Uhh…”

“Oh, sorry, you don’t get the symbolism. This pink dot here represents Donald Trump and the blue represents the land of America and the struggles of the people. Now you see the pink dot is- “

“Hmm, no one cares, here’s mine.” Angie enthusiastically replied as she almost ripped the canvas unveiling her tarp. What lied under it was a beautiful collage of yellows, light blues and greens that formed together to form the feeling of a summer breeze as they filled in the hopes peak logo. To Angie, this was among her top class, her elite-

“Hmm, interesting. Now does this symbolize the working class of Japan and the grind of daily life? Or- “

“Well it represents Hopes Peak.” Angie said, brightly. Kiyos bright demeanour shifted to one of disappointment.

“How boring.”

“What?” Angie asked, a small frown encapsulating her features. Her art had never been challenged before.

“Where’s the symbolism?! How am I supposed to enjoy art if it doesn’t connect to social issues?! WHAT PART OF THIS IS SUPPOSED TO TELL ME ABOUT HOW CORRUPT THE DMC IS?!” Korekiyo shouted before his pants brought him back to earth.

“I apologize Miss Yonaga.” He said before pulling out a small, radio and plugging his ears with headphones murmuring sounds that were somewhere between pained and orgasmic.

“Well, I think it’s great Angie, really good.”

“Thank you, Ryoma.” Angies positivity started to bloom again.

“Buttttttt…. I would change one thing.”

“Hmm?’

“Why don’t you add like, a mech but the mech has a backpack and the backpack is shooting missiles and then there’s a blind guy with a samurai sword and he’s going like _SCHWOM SCHWOM SCHWOM- “_

“How can we not reach a resolution of somethings we all like?”

“Well, how about the robot is Donald Trump and the man with the samurai sword is Bernie Sanders?” Korekiyo asked with Ryoma nodding in agreement.

“No. If we want to win this competition, we use **mine**.”

“C’mon, Yonaga, let’s just make a mash up.”

“No! Ryoma, this is the only way we can win!”

Korekiyos eyes darted from the artist to the tennis player. “Strike 1” he murmured.

“Who cares?”

“I do.”

“Angie, stop being so uncool.”

“Strike two.”

“I do not care. I am taking **this** painting and we will win this competition! Bye-o-nara!” Angie said, storming off with her painting in a…happy huff? Ryoma didn’t understand her but he did understand the familiar tune that played out of the Anthropologists mouth.

“Da-dadada. You’re outta there.”

* * *

 

Angie angrily stumbled through the halls, painting under her arm. _Neither of them knew how to appreciate art!_ She thought.

“Yonaga!”

She recognized the voice as Kaedes instantly.

“Hmm” Angie turned around with a painted smile.

“Can I get a sneak peek at yours before we have to present?”

“Sure.” Angie replied, propping up her painting.

“Wow, yours is really good! Ours is a weird mash up but you know…it’s what the group wanted.” Kaede pulled out hers and it was a…globe but the globe was made out of pianos and then there was Captain America throwing his shield at Iron-Man while Optimus Prime shot bullets at…anti-robot protesters?

“Oh, Ryoma suggested we do that but I didn’t think we win that way.”

“Well, it’s not about winning. It’s about involving your team.”

“Hmm?”

“You should really just go wild with it! Who cares about being the winner when you can have fun?”

Angie knew what she needed to do.

* * *

 

“So, what did you paint”

“Well…there’s the hopes peak logo.”

“And there’s Ichigo Kurosaki chopping missiles in half.” Ryoma added to which Angie sweat dropped.

“And the paint blots all over it, what are those.”

“The corruption of the DMC. Ichigo is from the series “Bleach” and now is the time I think it’s necessary for us to **bleach** America.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Sir, I just need some information, what political side do you lean on?”

* * *

 

So, Angies group didn’t win…but neither did anyone else. They decided that everyone’s were so equally bad that they’d retry the activity a few months later.

“Bottomless curry puffs in the cafeteria! I’m paying!” Kokichi screamed at the end of the day.

“Ouma, those things are disgusting.” Himiko lazily said back.

“Exactly why I’m paying!” He said, with a wink.

Everything was peaceful for a change, Maki thought…until her phone started buzzing. She clicked her two fingers a signal to Kaede that she had to take the call (She’d told her immediately after they became best friends because she knew the pianist was already suspicious of her talent) and stepped out of the room silently.

Michael “Molotov” Moretti. The leader of the holy salvation society, and the cruellest person Maki had ever met. This man was willing to do whatever it took to stay in power, backed by a line up of brainwashed followers. She ducked into the storage closest and answered the call with a gut-wrenching feeling. She’d almost forgot about the job…almost.

“What’s the hit?” She asked, straight and to-the-point.

“H-hey Maki.” Wait. Was he scared? “So, we have to…re-organize the details of your contract…a-and by t-that I m-mean your contracts b-been terminated.”

“What?” Maki replied coldly.

“Your fired, dropped, sacked, outta here. H-however the saying goes.”

“What about the funding.” Her voice dropped to the lowest of lows.

“K-keep the f-funding…we’re g-going into philanthropy work now. Just never contact us again, goodbye and we wish you the best in your future endeavours.” With that, there was a small beep, and then a stunned silence as questions buzzed through Makis mind.

_What about the funding? Why did he cancel? Why was he scared? Who spooked him that bad?_

* * *

_Rorschachs Journal, April 4 th. _

_Veidt tipped off on assassin cult with connections to orphanage. Caught bus there, this town is nice. Like the breeze here. Broke in, was initially laughed at by the white-haired man. Killed a few of his men. Started to reason up. Agreed to let his stranglehold on the orphanage go but still support it. Dropped all contracts. Left him there._

_Town is more peaceful now. Have to get back to New York. A comedian died recently…I’m the only one that cares._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Brief" Mentions of Watchmen crossover. I wanted to write Rorschach but didn't want to start a new fic, so I just lumped him into this one to create a nice malformed mess of a plot device. 
> 
> Seriously though, this will be the last time I crossover Watchmen at all, in any capacity unless it's for a joke or a minor plot point or excuse (like this but not on as major a scale.)


	19. A Day In The Life Of Toko Fukawa

**_A Day in The Life of Toko Fukawa_ **

The alarm rang but Fukawa didn’t need it, especially not on a weekend. She liked to maximize the contents of her day. Toko liked the dorms system, it gave her an excuse to spend less time with her shithole family. God, she hates them, at least she’s not around enough to give them whatever they consider an excuse to hit her.

She starts writing at 6:30 in the morning, jotting down ideas for stories and romances. Fantasies for the most part, nothing really of note. Protagonist being a villain? No, that’s boring and a lacklustre twist depending on the narrative. Fantasy setting? Nah, how cliché can you get? Just a story about friends eating together? That could work.

She starts scribbling down little doddles of what the people in the story could look like but then she starts to see it. The main character is short, brown haired, wears a hoodie…Oh my god Toko! Wizen up. None of them like her. She knows it. She tells herself this over and over again and makes up the scenarios of what they could be saying. It makes her sick to her stomach and she skips breakfast.

Half an hour passes, as she tries to write up a new idea but for some reason shes’…struggling. Shes the ultimate writer, how can she be so inadequate at her own talent? She’s uselessuselessuselessuselessuse-

**_Knock, Knock._ **

A sharp knock comes at her door. She nervously opened the door and was met with the cold stare of Kyoko Kirgiri.

“Notice you didn’t come to breakfast.”

“I w-wasn’t h-hungry.”

“Well, I got these for you.” She pulled out 2 muesli bars and a small package of sweets and handed it to her. “Try and eat, okay?”

Toko wanted to shout at her and tell her she wasn’t her mother but all she did was mumble out a small “Okay.”

“Also, maybe try doing the bare minimum of showing up? Makoto was throwing a huff about you not being there. Saying you must’ve been really sick and he really needed to show you this thing. He’s in the courtyard with Yasuhiro.”

Toko couldn’t stop the blush creeping onto her face.

She dressed into a scarf, mittens and a coat, walked out into the open. Wow, was it…snowing?

“Hey Toko!” Makoto said, somehow spying her from across the courtyard. He was dressed in a winter beanie and a blue puffer jacket “It’s _snowing_ ” He said, with that quiet excitement voice he used when he didn’t want to raise his voice.

Toko lightly laughed “I have eyes, M-Makoto. Is t-this really a-all you brought me out here f-for?”

“Uh, no, it’s just that I wanted t-to ask you- “A snowball hit him in the back of hit him square in the back of the head.

“Check it out Naegs, I finally made a good shot.”

“Haha-Oh jesus, that’s cold!” Makoto said, quickly shovelling all the snow out of his hood and onto the ground.

“You were s-saying.”

“Yeah, me, Hiro and Kyoko are all going down to that sushi place down town at 5...would you like to come with us?” Makoto asked nervously.

“U-uh, s-sure.” Toko said, with uncertainty.

“Great, I’ll see you there.”

Another snowball was launched but Makoto expertly batted it away with his hand.

* * *

 

The time rolled around to 5. Toko wouldn’t know, she was only counting every second until 5. At precisely 40 seconds past 4:58 she heard a sharp knock on her door, similar to the one beforehand. Toko opened the door nervously to see Kyoko standing there.

“Y-your early.”

“I knew you’d get nervous if I was even a minute late, so I thought I’d quell your fears and come earlier. We should get going, Byakuyas waiting on Makoto and Yasuhiro”

Toko slowly stepped out of her dorm, shaking. Then she saw him, Byakuya leaning against the door.

“Yo.”

Toko looked away. She didn’t know how to feel about Byakuya, she had been pining over him all year, but after seeing Makoto and how nice he was…she thought it was time to give up on him. _Besides_ She smirked in her mind _I’m not the only one who likes him._

“Did you decide to come?” Kyoko asked, already knowing the answer but Toko detected a distinct hope in her voice.

“Nope. I’ve got things to do.”

“Like what?”

However, Byakuyas next line was guessed. “That’s classified” both Kirigiri and Togami said simultaneously.

“Jinx.”

Byakuya smirked and made a zipper motion on his lips before his bored demeanour returned. Both doors to the dorms swung open simultaneously as Yasuhiro and Makoto emerged.

“Byakuya!” Makoto said quickly leading the heir to motion his hand at Kirgiri and let out a small triumphant “ha!”.

“Makoto you look like a god damn blueberry.”

“You look like a ninja turtle.”

“touché” He said before his attention diverted to Yasuhiro. “You look like you are going to meet up at a drug slash paedophile slash arsonist ring.”

“Who says I won’t?” Yasuhiro said thinking he’d beaten Byakuya at his own game.

“The law.”

The train ride up there was nice, Toko thought. She and Kirgiri looked at the sunset, as Yasuhiro tried to show Makoto magic tricks.

“Pick a card…no, not that card.”

“Nice town isn’t it.” Kyoko asked, bringing Toko back to reality.

“I g-guess.”

“Stable architecture, clean water, decent- “

“I g-get it. W-what are you t-trying to say?”

“…We should hang out some time.”

That legitimately took Toko by surprise. Was it a joke or maybe lost be-?

“I’m not joking.”

“D-damn it. H-how are you s-so good a-at reading p-people?”

“Ultimate Detective, remember?”

* * *

 

The sushi place was quaint, with decorative Chinese lamps hanging from the ceilings. For once Toko felt…cosy was the right word to describe it. The food was nice, the company was nicer, could she really ask anything more?

“Now, you don’t have to do this, but I’m just saying I’m open to it…”

“Yasuhiro, no!” Makoto sighed but his pleas feel on deaf ears.

“Would either of you…like to buy some weed?”

“Pass.”

“H-hard p-pass”

“Well it was worth a shot, you know…you also know McDonalds is actually a Ponzi scheme run by the mafia?”

“Here we go again…” Makoto murmured to Toko causing a light chuckle to escape her lips.

* * *

 

When Fukawa went to bed that night she wasn’t thinking about Syo or Byakuya or how much she hated herself. She was happy thinking about her…friends. Maybe having them wasn’t so bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big Fluff Dump coming up soon. Be prepared.


	20. Waking Up Is Hard To Dooooooo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just short Gunbuki fluff.

Ibuki didn’t remember much of the last night. She was hanging out with Gundham when she pored a glass of orang-scotch…that was scotch. Oh my god. She’d gotten drunk, with her boyfriend who was collapsed on the ground in front of her. She felt around herself and it felt…sticky. Ohno. Ohnoohnoohno. He wouldn’t have done something like that…on purpose. It was Gundham, he had the social sense of an aardvark, he probably thought she was fine.

She noticed the pile that was the aforementioned, grumble and sit up slightly.

“Crazy night, songful one.”

“What?”

“You are certainly a squirmer.”

Ohno, she’d given her first time to him. She loved him, but everything was going so fast, she didn’t want to do that yet. With a cold stiffness sheturned her head over to him.

“Gundham, what did we do last night.” She asked blankly.

“Hmm?”

“Gundham…what did we do?!” She asked, the panic in her voice taking Gundham off guard.

“Well, you became intoxicated, I tried to carry you to your place of rest and…”

She braced for his next few words.

“You managed to bypass my defences and pour the liquor all over yourself which blinded me and sent me careening into that wall, effectively knocking me out.”

Ibuki let out a large sigh of relief and smiled.

“I thought for a second that we had sex.”

“What kind of scoundrel do you take me for? The demonic elixir doesn’t even work on me, as you know firsthand.”

The two laughed before they both tried to stand up which was met with a simultaneous groan.

“Ahhh, hangovers are the worst!” Ibuki said rolling around in mock pain which lead to real pain which lead to more groaning.

“It seems I’m…too tired to cast my healing spell. Nevertheless, Miss Yukizome will be expecting us, so we must take off.” Gundham tried to stand up but only succeeded in nudging himself over to Ibukis bedside.

“Okay…” The musician murmured. “I’m gonna grab the covers, throw it over us and then we’ll run out.

“Okay.”

“3…2…1!” Ibuki rolled of the bed with the duna in tow and the pair broke out in a sprint and made it…a whopping 2 feet from the bed before collapsing. Gundham tried to slowly work his way back up again.

“M-must f-fight through, m-must make it too class.”

A lightbulb suddenly switched on in the musicians’ head. She slowly wrapped her arms around the supreme astral overlord’s neck.

“Orrrrrrr…you could stay here with Ibuki.”

“But attendance- “

“We don’t even need to attend class as long as we’re on the schoolgrounds. What difference will one sick day make.”

“Hmm…” As Gundham moved closer and closer into the musician’s warmth, his objections diminished little by little. “It’s not the worst idea…”

“Hell yeah!” The enthusiastic punk rocker said. “This is going to be the best day ever.”  She thrusted her arms out but immediately recoiled holding her head.

“Ahh! Everything hurts.”

 

 

 


	21. Festival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The most shippy chapter

Hopes Peak would hold a few festivals each year, to raise funds for the school and its talent development programs. Each class would play a role in setting up the attractions and stalls.

“And in charge of the hedge maze is…Mahiru, Hajime, Chiaki, Nagito, Gundham and Ibuki.”

Mahiru fist bumped the air. Her two best friends and Hajime? Wow, this was the best group she’d ever been in!

“C’mon guys! Let’s go.” She said, pointing to the sky enthusiastically. Chiaki (with her hood up) said nothing and silently pushed past her, Nagito following in hot pursuit. Then Ibuki did the same thing, Gundham looming behind **her**.

 _What the hell?_ Mahiru thought her smile, fading into a confused one as Hajime approached.

“Yeah, they’ve been like this all morning.” Hajime said motioning to Nagito and Chiaki. “Nagito spam texted me at 2 in the morning talking about how his relationship was failing. Check this:” Hajime opened his cell and flicked open Nagitos contact.

**_Hopeboi- At 2:00pm_ **

HELP HAJIME! SHE HASN’T RESPONDED TO ANY OF MY TEXTS!

**_Hopeboi- At 2:00pm_ **

Is this how relationships fail? Brb, going to binge watch Doctor Phil.

**_Hopeboi- At 3:00pm_ **

AHH, HAJIME I GOT CAUGHT UP IN FAMILY FEUD AND NOW DOCTOR PHIL ISN’T ON! HOW COULD I DO THIS TOT FSHREF ISSTM TRADH

“What’s he supposed to be saying?”

“No one knows. Anything happen with Ibuki and Gundham that you’d know about?”

“Oh yeah, Ibuki told me some things but I really didn’t think she’d care.”

_Flashback._

“Jolynes way better than Joseph. You’re totally tripping!”

“Josephs abilities in hamon far surpass the natural power of Stone free. Even creating the mobius strip isn’t as smart as some of the trickery Josephs pulled off.”

“Ibuki still thinks you’re wrong.”

“Well, I can stay here all night and day and I will still be able to debate why Joseph is the superior JoJo, for I am Gundham Tanaka, supreme overlord of the astral plane!”

There was a small silence before Ibuki started to break out into a blush.

“You know, I love you.” Ibuki blurted out without thinking and she immediately looked down at her hands nervously. All Tanakas psychic defences were taken down as he devolved from his regular form…into a stuttering mess.

“U-uh, v-very g-good…I s-should be g-going now!” Gundham stated matter of factly before rushing out the door leaving a confused and hurt Ibuki in his wake.

* * *

 

The group met up just besides the entrance to the vast hedge maze, and immediate verbal barbs were thrown.

“So, the maze is pretty big so Mahiru and I decided that we should stick together instead of splitting up.”

“Who cares?” Chiaki stated which caused a dent in Hajimes smooth conversational skills.

“Nanami, sorry, trash like me shouldn’t say things like this, but isn’t that a little rud- “

“Oh, look who’s paying attention to me now?” Chiaki stated with the meanest glare anyone of them had ever seen her pull.

“Okkkkkkkay….” Mahiru said, quickly changing the subject “Would you lookey here? It says, wow, this hedge is constructed on Kentucky blue grass.”

“Do you think the Kentucky blue grass every confesses its feelings to another type of grass and then that grass pretends it needs to leave and the grass DIES?” Ibuki asked causing Gundham to give her a confused glare in response.

“What is your game songful one?”  

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ibuki has to go somewhere, see ya!” Ibuki shouted before running into the maze, with Chiaki and Nagito tagging along. Gundham gave a shake of his head before walking off.

“Damn, why’d both my best friends have to get boys that were so unreliable? Uh **men** in general are unreliable”

“Hey, I’m standing right here!”

“You’re basically a girl.”

“I…don’t know how to take that.” Hajime replied to the Photographer who was walking away.

“Hurry up! We’ve gotta catch up to them.”

“Just make sure we don’t get lost. You’ve got a map, don’t you?”  
  
“Yeah, I’ve got a map.”

* * *

 

She didn’t have a map.

“You forgot it? Such bad luck!” Nagito said, shaking his head in dismay.

“Yeah, well, we’ve got some snacks. Maybe we can have a mini picnic?”

“No blanket.” Chiaki stated on deaf ears as Hajime ravaged through his backpack pulling out snacks and tossing them. Gundham received a pack of BBQ potato chips but Ibuki quickly snatched them out of his hand.

“These Chips have to go somewhere.” She said and threw the chips over one of the hedges losing them to the abyss.

“Infernal woman! Why on earth would you do that?” Gundham shouted.

“Sorry, I have somewhere to be, see ya!” Ibuki said with a smile before walking off. It seems like they weren’t the only pair to be fighting.

“Chiaki! Chiaki! Chiaki!” Nagito said repeatedly, to little effect as the ultimate gamer ignored his pleas for attention.

It was ok though. Hajime and Mahiru were adults they could handle this just fine.

* * *

 

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m not there for you 100% of the time” Nagito said, a hint of annoyance in his voice

“You’re never there for me ever.” Chiaki stated dragging her hood up further as she attempted to block out his voice.

 _At least they weren’t screaming…_ Mahiru thought as she looked over to the punk rocker and the breeder.

“I do not get what ever stunt you are trying to pull, Songful one so I suggest you- “

“Songful one.” Ibuki mimicked “Songful one. Songful one. Songful one!” She shook her body with every pronunciation. “Do you even know what the hell my real name is?!”

“Of course, I do! What on earth do you take me for?”

“Someone who’s inconsiderate of Ibukis feelings!” This lead to more yelling, inescapable yelling! Anywhere Mahiru and Hajime looked there was screaming, yelling and or passive aggression. It was maddening, these were smart people and they were acting like idiots. The red-head leaned over to the attorney and whisper in his ear.

“We need to stop this. Who are you gonna yell at?”

“I’ll take Nagito and Chiaki, I know both of them better. We work fast, efficiently and quickly.”

“Quickly and fast mean the same thing.”

“Whatever. 3,2,1, go.”

Mahiru quickly walked into the middle of the group and held in her breath before releasing it all in one huge gulp.

“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” This outburst caused all in attendances eyes to lock on to Mahiru.

“You are all behaving like 5-year olds, so me and Hajime have taken it upon ourselves to teach you all, exactly what you’re doing wrong. Please take a seat.”

Ibuki and Gundham both awkwardly shifted onto the ground, side by side.

“Gundham, she’s mad because you pretended you needed to leave instead of saying I love you too. Ibuki, he loves you, stop acting like a petulant child.” 

Chiaki and Nagito did the same, sitting down with backs rested on the hedge.

“Chiaki, he’s avoiding you because he realises his luck could kill you. Nagito, you can’t acknowledge this and still date her, that’s not fair.”

“Now everyone apologise to everyone!” Mahiru shouted out.

“Sorry Gundham”

“Sorry Maiden Of Music.”

“Sorry Nagito.”

“Sorry Chiaki.”

* * *

 

They made it out of the maze silently (aside from Nagito and Hajimes joking around) and with little fuss, but the day was far from done and real apologies were in order. As Gundham silently sleuthed back to his dorm he was caught in a crash tackle hug which sent him flying onto his bed

“OhmygodIbukis’sosorryforsayingallthosethingsireallylikeyouandIdon’t- “The musician started to spit out almost uncontrollably.

“Songful one- “  

“Ibukis’sostupidwhydidisaythat- “At this point she was almost foaming from the mouth.

“Maiden of music- “

“ijustdontwanttoloseyouibukissosososososo- “

“Ibuki.”

The punk rockers train of words de-railed and crashed at the sound of her name being said. Not one of his pet-names, her actual name.

“It’s my fault, I shouldn’t have done what I did. That was…” shitty” of me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Ibuki said, her face still glum.

“…I do love you.”

“You do?” Ibuki said, tilting her head to the side a bit.

“More than anything in the twelve realms.”

Every treasure he’d chased, every victory he’d won compared nothing to how brightly she smiled.

* * *

 

Chiaki stared at the ground.

“Why are you avoiding me really? Do you want to break up, is that- “?

“No! No! No!” Nagito assured her with a nervous smile. “Look, I’ve got really bad luck- “

“Nagito! That’s no reason to ignore me. Just because your afraid I’ll scratch my- “

“Nanami…” His tone become very sombre and sad sounding. “My parents died when I was young, so did my dog, I’ve lived alone all my life, all my relatives are either dead or insane…I don’t want the same thing to happen to you.”

Chiaki sat there for a while in stunned silence.

“N-Nagito, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry about trash like me, worry about yourself. I’m a ticking time bomb Chiaki, you should just leave me.”

“No!” Her voice was harsh before it weakened out... “I don’t care about all that stuff, I just…wanna be with you, okay?”

The lucksters eyes filled with surprise before it turned into a smile.

“S-sure. If that’s what you really- “

He was cut off by Chiakis lips.

* * *

 

**_Clink_ **

That was the sound of two virgin martinis being clicked together.

“Well, Miss Koizumi, we did it. Successfully set up the hedge maze, saved our friends relationships and made kick ass drinks.”

“All in a day’s work for…what’s our team name?”

“Team name?”

“We need a team name.”

“Hinazumi.”

“Sounds good.”

They both took a rewarding sip of they’re drinks.

“You know, I was thinking about relationships…”

“Y-yeah.” She stumbled out, hoping he didn’t see her blush.

“God, they take a lot of work. I’m so glad I’m not in one, right?” He closed his eyes and took a sip. It was lucky he did because if he was looking, he would’ve seen her face twist up in a flinch.

“Right…” She knew she didn’t mean it.  


 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading so far into the fic everyone! I go back to work soon, so updates will probably be down from 3 times a week to once a week. This is where I've planned up to in the fic (Sans one 79 chapter) so I'll be taking a bit of time off until then to plan major events up to a certain point, the next few chapters will be more in line with "Waking Up Is Hard To Do" and "Pulp Fuyu-hiction" then "Gundham and Ibukis fancy party" 
> 
> Once again thanks for reading, let me know how you're feeling about the fic if you feel like it (Favourite chapter, least favourite chapter, things like that) and I'll see you next time.


	22. Athletic Water Polo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Steering Committee doesn't take to kindly to being forced out of Hopes Peak.

“Well, Jin…how’s it feel? The whole schools finally yours.” Kizakura stated with a smile on his face as his friend looked over the school.

“No more steering committee on my back! Oh god, I can actually run this school like it was supposed to be…a true symbol of hope!” Jin said, triumphantly raising his arms.

“C’mon, where those geezers really that bad?”

“They once cancelled the talent quest because they were mad that their cheese platters didn’t have brie.”

“Fair enough.”

Suddenly, a loud “BUZZ BUZZ!” was heard from the speaker system. Muankatas voice came on after some rough static.

“Yeah, Jin, we have a problem.”

* * *

 

As the headmaster walked down into the pool area, he internally (and audially) groaned as he saw the figures of the steering committee holding signs reading “Don’t be a folo, save water polo.” and “Senior rights” in big, bold, red letters. 

“The education system decided you were unfit for the job, and they sacked you now leave.”

“Listen here, Jin, we run an athletic water polo club here every Wednesday at 1:00pm! It’s important for our health, we can’t just lose it.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Really, well it’d be a shame if we were to…protest!”

“Ha! Like that would do anything.”

* * *

 

“This is disgusting!” Kaede called out to Kizakura as the stampede of stomping feet crashed through the halls chanting “Don’t be a folo, save water polo.” And blocking the door to the 79th classroom.

“Yeah it is, but if we try and stop them, it’ll make a great headline “Hopes Peak staff kick out elders”. It’ll be a PR Nightmare.”

“I hate the media. Why can’t they leave, so I can get my lunch?!” Himiko whined as she looked out at the mass of the steering committee.   


“Yeah, so do I!” Kokichi said leaning over her desk.

“Nyeh?” Himiko stated surprised by the boys’ sudden appearance, slightly blushing.

“Aaaw? Is Himiko flustered by me?”  Ouma said, twirling the girl’s hair in between his fingers but his touch was quickly slapped away.

“Quit it Ouma. What do you even want?”

“Just wanted to tell you, it’ll be OK. They’re a bunch of old guys in their fifties and sixties. They’ll leave eventually to get the Dannys early bird special or whatever.”

Himiko giggled and looked back at the supreme leader.

“Thanks, Ouma.”

“Yeah, you should be thanking me! I took time out of my day to consult a peasant like you.” She thought the smile before was genuine but it must’ve been a lie… _just like everything he does_ the mage thought.

A small creak was heard, and a member of the steering committee stepped through the door.

“Hey…we need someone to do odd jobs. If one of us leaves, the group is too small to legally count as protest and we’ll be kicked out.”

Himiko immediately stood up from her chair.

“You’ve held us up for 2 hours! You jerks have literally been taking food from children and you expect us to help you?! Your nothing but mean!” which prompted cheers from the class.

“Exactly right!” Kokichi stated as he walked up besides Himiko “You can take your walkers and limp right out of here, cause nothing in the whole wor- “

“250 bucks an hour.” The man offered. 

“Hi, I’m Ouma, how you doing?” Kokichis tone turned on it’s heel as he extended his hand.

* * *

 

“Doesn’t it hurt, to know you’re the whipping boy for a group of old men?” Maki asked as she looked down at the tired Kokichi.

“Doesn’t it hurt to know I made, stacks on stacks on stacks?” He replied with a wink as he pulled out a thick wad of cash. He turned to the ultimate robot with a smile on his face.

“Kee-boy, after this is over we are going to have the best shopping spree of all time! I’ll even split my profits 50/50!”

“Really?”

“Maybe that was a lie…maybe it wasn’t.”

“Computing chances of lie detection.” A mechanical female voice said, as Keebos collar lit up with the words analysing.

“KEE-BOY, THAT’S NOT FAIR!”

* * *

 

 Jin had just enough of this. He thought he’d be able to put up with it for a while but now the old men were messing with the students? This had gone too far.

He marched up (just as the greasy one grabbed Hiyokos fan and held it up screaming “Grab it. You can’t!) to the group.

“Listen, your protest has extended over the legal limit.”

“So?”

“So, you have to leave.”

“Nah.” The group said in in unison. Jin felt a bubbling anger at his stomach as he clenched his fists.

“What are you gonna do?”

**_WAM!_ **

* * *

 

“Well Jin, how does it feel to finally have the steering committee out of Hopes Peak for good?”

“It feels great. I think that I really took a stand for…student freedom.”

“So, you’re saying you’re a student hero?”

“I’d say icon”

“…You punched an eld- “

“I punched an elder in the face.” Jin sighed from behind the bars that confined him to his cell. He looked down at this hands in despair as he thought about the possibilities.

“Kizakura, they’ll be reinstated if I can’t make bail. I put all my funds in the school we don’t have the cash.”

“Says here we do.” Kizakura said nonchalantly, looking at his phone.

“What?”

“Take a look” The alcoholic raised his screen to Jins face, the screen saying:

 ** _Hopes Peak Balance:_** _$_ 2,400  

“How on earth?” The headmaster managed to sputer, almost stunned into silence. 

* * *

 

“See! I knew you were lying Kokichi! My robo senses are never wrong…except that time with the squid, but who cares? I figured you out!” Keebo said triumphantly as he pointed at the boy.

“Guess you did! I’ve been foiled!” The two boys laughed before going they’re separate ways. “See you tomorrow, Kokichi!” 

“Yeah, see ya.”

Kokichi sighed and looked at the tower, that overlapped the whole of Hopes Peak.

“You owe me a god damn debt, old man!” He screamed on deaf, or more accurately, no ears.

 

 

 

 

   



	23. Danganronpa Gaiden: Teacher Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class 78 get's a new teacher. Problem? He's fucking insane.

“So, class 78, here is your new homegroup teacher…Takumi Hijirihara!” Chisa said, way too excited for what was just a replacement teacher. The man who walked into the room was unlike most people at Hopes Peak. His suit was rough and un-ironed, his hair was all over the place and spikey and his demeanour was lax and care-free.

“So, I trust I can leave them with you?”

“Sure, Miss Yukizome.” The man said, waving her off as he took a seat with his feat up on the desk. There was a small silence, before Aoi spoke up.

“What’s your ultimat- “

“Could we take turns talking here?”

“W-what?”

“We take turns talking…it’s currently my turn…you can talk after my turn is up.”

“But you weren’t saying anything.”

“Exactly. So, my turn never ends.” He said smiling up at her. There was another small silence before Sayka turned her head to whisper something to Leon when a loud

**_BLAM!_ **

Was heard from across the classroom as the mass of heads turned to face the teacher who was holding a steaming fucking handcannon.

“Do I have to repeat myself? My turn is going, yours is not. Do I have to blast a bitch to make this apparent”?

Okay, now he was just turning into Samuel L Jackson.

* * *

 

 Over the next week, their teachers’ behaviours became increasingly erratic. He occasionally hung his clothes out to wash in the classroom, was constantly late because he had to be physically pulled out of the store room closest and brought an array of weapons into class. At least he took away his no talking rule…. Sometimes.

“Someone has to do something about this.” Byakuya mumbled as he ate his sandwich (which was worth more on the black market than most of the students’ lives).

“Do not worry!” A stern voice shouted from the corridor. “I am here!” The class turned to see Hifumi standing there, with his facial features contorted to look like an anime protagonist.

“Well, man, what’s your idea? I’ll do anything to avoid taking another shot from that dude.”

“Do not worry! It is my burden to bear! And my fury will burn with the scolding power of 1000 suns, as I proudly proclaim, I. AM. JUSTIIIIIIIIICE!”

* * *

 

“And then he took out his gun and shot it at Leon like BLAM BLAM BLAM! IT WAS AWFUL, MR. MUNAKATA! YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING” Hifumi sobbed out as he banged his fists on the table.   

“Mr Yamada, I will take action on the condition that you leave my room and stop wetting my table with your tears.”

“T-thank you s-sir” The douijin writer said as he took his heaving, sulking form out of Munakatas presence. “Now the woods warped” the class president mumbled out.

* * *

 

“Pop quiz, you’re locked in a room with a fire extinguisher, a bag of jelly beans, the gourmet kind not the-“

“A-hm!” A stern voice interrupted the Killer-Killers speech.

“Mr. Hijirihara. A word?” Munakata stated

“Sure thing. I want all your answers by the time I get back.”

“Y-you didn’t g-give u-us the f-full q-question.” Toko stammered back as the teacher left. He lazily sat down in one of Munakatas swivel chairs with his hand to his chin.

“Look, Mr. M, that stationary I stole, it was an accident, I’m gonna bring it back but then they kind of got set on fir- “

“What stationary?”

“Uh…….is your desk made out of Mahogany?  It’s really nice.”

“Really? thanks, I’ve been working on- Hold on! No, the reason I brought you here was because I’ve heard from several reports that you’re teaching has been less than adequate.”

“I don’t think that’s really accurate…would you excuse me for a second.” Before Munakata could say anything, Takumi rushed out his office and back into the 78s classroom. Then several words were loudly yelled, those of which Munakata could deceiver where “Who” “The fuck” “Snitched” “glock” “bam” “your ass” and “dead”

The Killer Killer came stumbling back into his room.

“Continue.”

“Well, it was said that you pulled a firearm on the students.”

“Ha…she was going into my turn, I don’t know what else you wanted me to do.”

“Okayyy…you reportedly both verbally and attempted to physically assault Yasuhiro Hakagure.”

“Not true, there was no verbal abuse exercised.”

“And refused to let students leave the classroom until they, quote, “helped me farm karma on reddit””

“…. Yeah, I just don’t see the problem.”

“Well, aside from the fact that these are extremely unethical…you have broken at least 7 laws.”

Instead of reacting with sadness or guilt, Takumi just started laughing.

“Look, I’m just in this for a paycheck. And if these kids can help me get to 500 upvotes while I’m coasting for that pay check, well, everything works out then doesn’t it?”

“God damn, Takumi listen to yourself. Chisa gifted you this job and your squandering it! I’m not asking you to work as hard as she does, all I’m asking for is 25% effort.”

“…how much would you say I’m on now?”  


“Negative 10.”

There was a silence before Takumi spoke up.

“So, If I have to do something good for those losers, could you ensure I can give them whatever I want.”

“You have my word.”

* * *

 

“Now, guys, I admit, I haven’t been the best teacher, but Munakatas given me the opportunity to write the wrongs.” The silver haired man nodded his head along with Takumis words.

“So, you get the rest of the day and tomorrow off.” The class erupted into a big ball of cheers and celebration as they stormed out the door, leaving a gobs truck Munakata in their wake.

“W-wait, this isn’t…”

“You said anything.” Takumi responded, with a sly smile, as he and Muanakata followed the class out the door. Happiest of all was Hifumi, who was last in line. His supreme power had finally paid off and he had saved the class from yet another day of boring work…most of all himself. He bounced along to the tune of “Limit Break X Survivor” reaching his-

**_SLAM!_ **

He saw the door come inches from colliding with his face and through the glass opening, Takumi was holding the handle. The Black-Haired man brought a finger to his throat and mouthed:

“Snitches get stiches.” Before the sound of a key in lock was heard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma be real. I literally am writing Takumi off a design, and his Danganronpa wiki personality section. If he seems OCC, thats why. I liked his outfit, so that's why I placed him in the fic. 
> 
> Also, his backstory is gonna be altered to fit the narrative (As Mukuro is in the 78 as normal)


	24. Strobe Light Laser Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward Romance and Laser tag is a mixture for disaster.

The 77 meet up was quickly becoming the stuff of legend…that was a lie, no one really cared and when Kazuichi tried to brag about to the other classes, a kid with a handkerchief wrapped around his neck called him “A Hardcore loser.” Still, no one here was going to turn their nose at free laser tag. Laster tag was a frantic game with high skilled back and forth…what was happening on the train carriage was not that.

“I-I like your shirt.” The Animator stammered out.

“T-thanks, I-I got it at an o-op shop.” The Nurse returned, her speech somehow being able to match Ryotas in number of stutters.

“Yeesh! You guys back and forth like amputated tennis players.” Fuyuhiko said as he leaned back in his seat, outburst causing tears to well up in Mikans eyes as she leaned over to Ryotas chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She said as the waterworks were turned on full force.

“Uh…um…” The animator was both embarrassed and scared by the sudden contact, he leaned back banging his head on the back of the train.

“Idiots…”  Fuyuhiko murmured with a smirk.

* * *

 

Nagito and Hajime had volunteered to set up the game. As they walked up to the ticket booth, they recognized a familiar face sitting in the archway.

“Hey…You’re Sonosuke Izayoi!” Hajime exclaimed.

“Yeah, and who are you?”

“Hajime Hinata.”

“And you probably don’t remember trash like me, but I’m Nagito Komaeda. We overlapped a year at Hopes Peak.”

A visible wave of realization washed over the blacksmiths face.

“Oh yeah.”

“So, what are you doing working here?” Nagito asked him.

“Making a little extra pay for break. This job requires approximately 10% of the effort smithing does.” He replied, as he clicked through the computer.

“Remember when you smelted a sword and it melted in your hands?” Hajime said with a laugh which was passed like a football to the luckster and the blacksmith.

“Yes! That was indeed funny. Remember when you first came into the main course and thought the cafeteria was the whole building?” Izayoi replied.

“Yeah, haha!”

“Hahaha…Remember when I got your girlfriend, hahaha, expelled?” Nagito pointed out. Suddenly all the laughter was drained from the room as Izayoi stared down Nagito.

“That was you?”

Hajimes small whisper of “Nagito…stop.” Feel on deaf ears.

“Yep! Failed her practical exam and everything by turning a dog gigantic. Weird turn of events…. Hey, why have we all stopped laughing?”

Sonosuke meanly punched the keys of the computer few more times, before looking up at the two with a menacing glare.

“Your games set up, I will be with you in a moment.”

* * *

 

“Let’s layout game rules people. Single life, free-for-all, last person standing wins.”

Sonosuke calmly handed everyone their guns, which were tested promptly.  When Nagito was handed his gun, but a few clicks yielded little results. 

“Uh…I think mines broken. It only works half the time.”

“Sorry, no more left.”

“But…” Nagito motioned to the back of the blacksmith, were a large storage crate of Guns was visible. Izayoi quickly threw a spinning back kick to the door and held up a “confused” symbol with his arms before resuming his speech.

“The winner will receive **this** plain blue tie.” He claimed blue but it looked more like a grey.

“Who on earth would play for that?” Mahiru stated confidently before she heard a small voice whisper in her ear.  

“Damn, that’s a nice tie.” Hajime said, hand on his chin, causing Mahiru to blush out.

“Really?”

“Yeah…I really like the blue…and the blue…god damn it, I need that tie.”

A lightbulb switched on in Mahirus head. If she won the tie, then gave it to him…maybe it would give her a chance to…no! Stupid stupid stupid! He already doesn’t want a relationship, what an inconsiderate jerk she was being. No instead, she was going to win that stupid tie and throw it in his stupid doesn’twanttodateher face!

There was the motivation she needed.

* * *

 

All 17 of them stepped into the arena from different entrances.

“Ahh!” Nagito screamed immediately causing Chiaki to look over at him sleepily. “What?”

“I don’t like dark places.”

“Don’t worry Komaeda, you can stay with me.” She said latching onto his arm.

“T-thank- “

“GAME START” A robotic voice boomed over the loud speaker.

“Ahh! Get off me.” Chiaki yelled as she sent Nagito careening into the wall before running off to go shoot people.

“Access granted.” A small robotic voice said, causing Nagito to squeak before the wall itself **shifted around him** , causing him to be flung into a small narrow room. “Secret room found!”. Problem was…it was pitch black.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

* * *

 

Hajime cautiously stepped through the spiralling lane ways, listening out for footsteps. He wanted, no, **needed** that tie. _Won’t be so unreliable after I win this…_ He thought, with no correlation to anyone in his class or the world really, just a random thought he had.

A sharp noise brought his attention back to earth, he braced but quickly realized that it was heavy breathing not footsteps. He slowly turned the corner to see Mitari with his puffer jacket hood pulled over his head.

“Mitari.” Hajime harshly whispered causing the boy to become shaky.

“Y-yes?” The animator slowly took his hood down only to be faced with the nozzle of Hajimes gun.

“See this, I could shoot you but I didn’t and that means you’re in lifedebt to me.”

“W-what?”

“C’mon, let’s team, we can totally win if we both try.”

“I don’t know...”

“Plus, Tsumiki would be **super** impressed if you won.”

A big blush broke out on Ryotas face as he twiddled with his fingers.

“R-really?”

“Totally.”

“Oh… Ok” He replied as he got up of the floor. Hajime almost felt bad about what he was about to do…almost.

* * *

 

Chiaki was on a role. She had already killed Peko and Hiyoko and had her sights set on Akane, but the gymnast was just too fast. Chiaki desperately rolled over behind a wall clutching her gun under her arm. If Akane turned on her left, she was dead…she went left.

**_“Akane Owari Has Been Eliminated!”_ **

“Oh man! Too bad.” Akane said as she held her arms up to her head before walking away. “By the way, on your left!” She shouted back to Chiaki, who instinctively pointed her gun to the side and fired.

**_“Nekomaru Nidai Has Been Eliminated!”_ **

“Shiiiiiiiiiit!”

* * *

 

“I-Ibuki.” Mikan stammered out as they walked along the damply lit corridor, “W-what if someone see’s us?”

“Well, then we shoot them, obvs. Don’t have to worry about that though, Ibukis the fastest gun in the west!” She said with a wink before the sound of voices was heard in the distance. She made a shush motion with her fingers before leaning over to hear better.

“Okay, just go in their guns blazing.”

“Are you sure you didn’t hear who they were?” Mitari asked, nervously.

“No clue.” Hajime lied “Just…remember what you’re fighting for, to impress Mikan!”

Several squeals started to come out of the nurses’ mouth as she started hyperventilating. Ibuki tried her best to calm her down but it was no use.

“To impress Mikan!” Ryota repeated with more confidence.

“Now get in there!” Hajime yelled, slapping Ryota on the shoulder. “Just shut your eyes and go wild!”

“Okay!” He yelled back before rushing around the corner, spamming the trigger with reckless abandon. As the dust settled a loud voice boomed over the loudspeaker.

**_“Ibuki Mioda and Mikan Tsumiki have been eliminated.”_ **

Ryotas eyes snapped open in shock.

“Oh my god…Mikan, I’m so, so, so sorry.” He said while waving his arms around apologetically.

Tsumiki was still shaken by his confession of affection earlier and tried to link together the right words for “It’s okay.” But instead it was just “I-I-I”. Suddenly, a small pew sound was heard and Ryota felt his chest vibrate.

**_“Ryota Mitari has been eliminated.”_ **

He turned around to see Hajimes gun smoking from the freshly shot laser. The attorney smiled at him and gave him a big thumbs up.

“Great job Mitari! You did really well, buttttt you were live ammo and I’m gonna get that fucking tie.” Hajimes tone turned deadly serious before he started walking away. There was a long silence, before Ibuki interrupted with a devilish smile.

“So…what were you fighting for?”

Ryota delivered a flush the likes of which had never been seen before.

* * *

 

Nagito had spent the last 10 minutes figuring out the secrets of the room which were…a staircase and a gloryhole. _Not much to work with_ He grimaced as he clicked his trigger to figure out exactly the amount of trigger pulls needed to activate his broken controller (it was 6). But maybe this was a happy opportunity, hope always shined through after despair. Suddenly, his hand banged against something metallic. It was circular shaped…oh my god, a telescope.

 _Just my luck!_ He thought with a smile as he peered through the large lens.

 _Wow, I can see the whole ground from here._ He shuffled the tip a bit giving him a 360-degree view. _Oh, there’s Hinata… He must be grumpy, there’s Kazuichi, Fuyuhiko and Gundham with their backs stuck together?_ He didn’t question it _Oh, and there’s Nanami…she’s so cute when she’s determined._ Stars formed in his eyes before he shook off the “unpure thoughts” and hastily swung the telescope to the side, when he heard a creak and a crack.

 _Oh…it must’ve broke. Just my luck._ He thought glumly.

“Okay boys, this defence is impenetrable. Stick to the plan and we’ll win this!” Fuyuhiko shouted as he huddled together with his friends. Suddenly, a gun slipped into the circle formation and fired.

**_“Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu has been eliminated.”_ **

“Alright, who the fuck shot me?” Fuyuhiko said, breaking formation as Kazuichi and Gundham shuffled back to back. The Yakuza surveyed his surroundings and realized there was no one else near him.

“Kazuchi, you piece of shit. You did it didn’t you.”

“What? Why me? Why not Gundham?”

“You’re probably hoping to hook up with Sonia by helping her win!”

“What?! Why don’t I accuse you of the same thing with Peko?”

“Do it, because that’s wrong.”

“Okay, you like Peko.”

“Nu-uh”

“Yuh-huh”

**_“Kazuichi Soda has been eliminated.”_ **

“Haha! You fool! You thought it was Kazuichi but it was me- “

**_“Gundham Tanaka has been eliminated”_ **

Mahiru silently walked past him as Gundham froze mid pose as his friends laughed at him.

* * *

 

Chiaki had added Sonia to her head count as she roamed the halls looking for more prey…when she found Teruteru hiding in a corner. She immediately zapped him.

“Damn, you got me…” Chiaki mentally braced herself as she realized he hadn’t finished talking. “But, you know what would make a really good story? If you give me a blowjob right here in the dark.”

“…You do realize I’m already seeing a guy, right?”

“Does that not just make it hotter?”

Chiaki promptly grabbed her gun and hit him in the head with it. She turned over to see Nagito leaning against a wall.

“Oh, hey babe.” She said nonchalantly.

“U-uh hey.” He was noticeably nervous and skittish. She wondered why that was?

“You know I’ve got to shoot you, right.”

“Y-yes.”

Chiaki took aim and shoot him right in the chest. She turned to leave but maybe she could get a quick kiss. If she’d counted all the entrants properly, there were only 2 others left. She walked up to Nagito with a teasing smile only for the boys’ eyes to widen and he turned on a heel running off in the other direction.

“Haha! Hope!” He exclaimed.

 _He’s so weird_ Chiaki thought with a sigh.

* * *

 

Hajime heard footsteps from the balcony, he turned his head over to see Mahiru standing right there.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you all game.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah, so I could do **this** ” Mahiru exclaimed, pulling out her gun and taking a shot which Hajime narrowly missed by ducking behind a corner.

“Get back here, you unreliable asshole.” She shouted as Hajime made a runner down the stairs. What had he done to piss her off? He quickly ducked through a few hallways but Mahiru was on him the whole way through. Hajime tried taking potshots but it was useless. Eventually the brunette found himself at a dead end at gunpoint.

“You stupid, idiotic, wontgooutwithme, b- “

“Hold on…won’t go out with you?” Hajime said as Mahiru realized…oh my god, she’d said that outloud. She was just using it as motivation but she forgot to **switch the motivation off**. Her moments hesitation, gave Hinata enough time to gather his bearings and take a shot.

**_“Mahiru Koizumi has been eliminated.”_ **

The photographer was overcome with embarrassment as she sprinted off. Hajime sighed in relief as he stood up only to feel a small buzz on his jacket.

**_“Hajime Hinata has been eliminated.”_ **

He looked up to see Chiaki staring down at him from the ceiling. He sighed in defeat, but that tie was the furthest thing from his mind as he thought about Koizmuis outburst.

* * *

 

“So, I win right?” Chiaki stated as she motioned to Izayoi.

“Not quite.” He pressed a button and the loudspeaker boomed in it’s same mechanical tone.

**_“All Secret entrances open!”_ **

And out came Nagito, stumbling like a drunk.

“Hey, Chiaki!” He waved. The gamer hesitated. But she’d eliminated him, she thought cycling back through out the game. Sure, he was acting weird, and it was dark and he was a little puggier than nor- _Imposter!_ the thought hit her like a tonne of bricks as she’d realized the announcement hadn’t gone off.

“Sorry, about this.” Nagitos voice brought her back to reality as he took aim with he pre-clicked-to-sixth-shot-gun. **_Clack_** He pulled the trigger…but nothing happened. _Battery’s dead_ He realized as Chiaki got a chance to get her head back into it. A look of panic struck his face as the gamer took her shoot, but he managed to dodge it by an inch.

 _Stupid jacket!_ Nanami thought realizing, how lanky he was in comparison to his clothing. The luckster took the chance to run but Nanami gave pursuit. Nagito looked up to see… _DEAD END!_ The thought rushed through his head as he saw the hard, fixed wall up ahead. Chiaki saw it too and took a picture-perfect shot at him.

Nagito tried to dodge, but his elbow ended up colliding with a metal beam. She’d got him, expected as he was trash and she was an ultimate but disappointing none the less. He braced for impact but out of the corner of his eye he saw a small glint of glass flying through the air… _The telescope!_ He thought. That metal beam was actually…

The rest of the events happened in a blur. The small lens fell down at the perfect angle, reflecting Chiakis shot right into her own vest, as Nagito instinctively jumped back.

**_“Chiaki Nanami has been eliminated.”_ **

“WHAT?!” She shouted, with the most emotion he’d ever heard from her…ever.

“What can I say Chiaki…I’m just really lucky!”

* * *

 

“I got you before…except it wasn’t you, it was imposter.” Chiaki said on the train ride home.

“What tipped you off?” Nagito said with a laugh

“Ran away from a kiss, something you’d _never_ do” Nanami joked while Nagito blushed. There was an awkward pause.

“You know you never got that kiss, did you?” Nagito whispered as he leaned in.

“Yeah… not here…” Chiaki said, holding up a hand to his face, causing the white-haired boy to whine in disappointment. “Butttt…we can probably get back to my dorm and hardcore make-out for 15 minutes.”

Nagito flushed in embarrassment, nervously stuttering out “that would be good.”

Chiaki giggled before diverting her attention back to her system.

* * *

 

“U-uh, H-hajime.” As the boy packed up his bags, ready to go home for a day, a small voice interrupted him. He saw Mahiru with a mad blush on her cheeks, staring at her hands.

“Whats up?”

“If I said a-anything, weird today, could you j-just ignore it?” Mahiru asked, shaky.

“Ok….” Mahiru started to walk away but Hajimes voice was like a rope. “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?”

She put on a big smile “Nope.” That was the biggest lie she’d ever told.

Hajime sighed as soon as she walked away. God, now he’d have to start asking Nagito for romance advice.


	25. Clockwork Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keebouma fluff.

**_Clockwork Friendship_ **

Miu Iruma never knew anyone really nice in her life. Her parents were lame, she had approximately 0 friends in elementary and middle school, but then there was him…

Keebo wasn’t like most other boys, mainly because he wasn’t really “a boy.”. He was, what he himself describe as “a cybercommuting, artificially created- “ She couldn’t remember the whole thing. Anyway, she liked him…like, **liked** him liked him.

She’s sitting with Kaede and Maki when she spys him from across the room…only a little snot nosed brat comes into view with him.

“The hells Ouma doing with him?” Miu asks, out of the blue to her friends.

“You really haven’t noticed.” Maki says with a smirk.

“Noticed what?”

“They’re best friends.” Maki says blankly.

“What? Keebo and him? You yanking my vag or something?”

“Firstly eww.” Kaede started “Secondly, yeah, they totally are. It’s like they’re magnetically connected, ones always in a 5-foot radius of the other.”

Miu ignores there comments and swears there not true but she starts to notice the budding friendship more and more. They’re always sitting next to each other, Kokichis constantly telling stories about what they’ve done together.

She sniggers at him. Probably bullies the robot into being friends with him because he’s such a little asshole, he has none.

A fire breaks out in school. Not a big one, in fact, it’s tiny but it sends the class into a frenzy. Kaede tells them to remain calm, but Saihara, wuss that he is, starts screeching at the top of his lungs, Himiko attempted to put it out with magic which caused her skirt to catch fire, causing Tenko to crash tackle her to put it out. Keebo promptly activated a command, that popped out a small fire extinguisher like device from his arms, he put out the fire easily.

Instead of basking in the adoration though, Keebo silently sulked out of the room. Kokichi hastily played the Eric Andre “We’ll be right back” song and followed him out. Miu excused herself as well, mumbling she had to get a drink or something, before walking away. Now was her chance to shine and win his affection…or something like that. She knew were he was hiding out, it would obviously be the IT lab. She made a desperate dash to reach it but the little shit was already there. _Probably bullying him about it!_ Gosh, it made Miu mad just thinking about it. She was ready to storm in but what she saw…surprised her.

* * *

 

“Hey, Kee-boy.” Kokichi said, tone barley changing as he marched up to the robo boy. “What’s got your robo panties in a twist?”. Kokichis smile was infectiously annoying. Keebo looked up with sadness in his eyes.

The supreme leaders features immediately softened. “Keebo?” The sound of his real name shocked Keebo to an extent and provided him enough fuel to talk.

“3 months. 3 months Kokichi! I put so much effort into making sure I never showed off the fact that I was a robot…”

“Why should you care? Being a robot is awesome!”

“That’s not the point. Everyones so nice, but what if they stop seeing me as human? Now I’m jus- “

“C’mon man. They don’t care. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just cause you put out a fire, nothings gonna change…and if someone does start treating you differently, I’ll sick my organization, which has over 10 million members FYI, on them.”

Keebo sniffled before looking up at his friend with a sincere smile “Thanks.”

“Now, C’mon, let’s watch the G1. Ibushi Vs. Ishii tonight, someone’s gonna fucking die!”

* * *

 

Miu concluded Kokichi was a little shitstain. A rude, cutting mini-demon who’d taken physical form and sole purpose was to make life hell for the 79…but if he was a nice friend to Keebo, then maybe he wasn’t **guaranteed** a spot in hell.


	26. Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gundhams off to meet Ibukis parents, but somethings off, and he's determined to find the root of the problem.

**_Parents_ **

The tension was thick on the train ride, as Gundham and Ibuki sat in stilled silence. It had been the previous day when Ibuki had approached him, jokingly asking if he wanted to meet her parents, he hastily accepted. Even when the musician tried to dissuade, him Gundham stated it was important to get her parents blessing for their relationship.

The usually calm, hyperactive musician had been walking on pins and needles throughout the whole walk to the station, something her boyfriend took note of.

“Songful one, what’s bothering you?”

“What? Bothering…HA! What’s bothering me? What’s bothering you? Everythings fin- “Ibukis lies were easily shot down by a steely gaze from the breeder. “Look, this is the first time in, like, 2 and a half years Ibukis even talked to them.”

Gundhams mouth shifted into an “o” shape. “You were…”

“A runaway? Yeah. Second Ibuki turned 15, she was out of there. They randomly called me the other day, asked me somethings and invited me to come over.” She visibly flinched at the last part but Gundham chose to ignore it.

“You know, there’s quite a few stops before we reach their household…it’s not too late to go back.”

“Nah, it’s fine. Ibuki knows how much it means to you to have her parent’s approval.”

Gundham, lightly kissed the top of her head as she nuzzled into his neck. “We’ll go, talk to them and be gone by the time the sun sets.” Ibuki nodded and closed her eyes to try and calm herself. He had no idea how bad they were.

* * *

 

Ibuki hesitantly knocked at the door, but realized that it was already opened. She tightly squeezed Gundhams hand (maybe a bit too hard, it caused the astral lord to flinch), before pushing the door open and wincing at the sharp smell of nostalgia.

Gundham looked around the shelves seeing nothing that stood out in particular. Everything was very generic, but his eyes focused on a grainy family photo. Two smiling older people and a small, frowning black haired girl.

“Little sister?” Gundham mouthed to her causing Ibukis features to become wide eyed and nervous. A soft voice interrupted Gundhams question.

“Ibuki.” An older looking lady with greying black hair walked out from the corridor. “Dear, it’s so nice to see you.”

“Yeah, nice to see you too Mum.” Ibuki solemnly said back causing Gundham to double take. This woman hadn’t seen her daughter in 2 years and couldn’t even muster up a hug? Ibukis mother turned her attention to the boy, and her eyes immediately fell for a second before she regained her composure.

“You must be Gundham. I’m Himari Mioda, my husband Haruto is in the living room.”  With that, she turned to walk into said room, with Ibuki walking behind her staring at her feet.

The living room was nice and cosy. Haruto was sitting in a soft, fabric lined tree, reading a newspaper. He briefly looked up at the pair of teens, giving out a massive sigh before returning to his paper. Ibukis frown worsened at her father’s reaction.

All present persons were redirected to a table (Ibuki thanking god that they at least put in the effort to make the meals vegetarian) and the awkwardness was palpable. To his credit, Gundham at least tried to communicate with her parents. He asked about occupations, interests, hobbies. He even toned down his usual mannerisms to make a better impression.

Despite her parents’ judgemental attitude, Gundham had almost managed to turn this around. That was until her father just couldn’t help himself, and spoke up.

“Are you still into that “metal death” stuff, Ibuki?”

“Uh, death metal? Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? It’s like my thing.” Ibuki responded with a confused expression.

“Oh, that’s disappointing.”

“Disappointing?” Ibukis tone turned hostile, Gundham tried to hold her hand under the table but the punk rocker was in no shape to respond.

“I just thought you’d be over that stuff by now, so maybe you could start being a bit more…. normal”

With that Ibuki, pushed out her chair and started walking away angrily. “You really don’t get it, do you? Ibukis going to get some of her old stuff from her room, then I’m leaving.”

The girl hastily walked up the stairs, leaving Gundham and her parents in her wake.

“You, know…. what’s your name?” Haruto asked, blankly. God, this man made him sick.

“Gundham.”

“Yeah, if you could go talk to her, that’d be great.”

“Oh, believe me, I intend to, but she is not the one I need to be talking to. Ibukis individuality is everything to her, taking that away or insulting it is the easiest way to get her mad. You are her parents, you should know this.” He gave a long glance at the pair but despite everything, he couldn’t see even a hint of sadness or compassion. Instead, Haruto shrugged and they went back to their usual actions (cleaning and reading the paper)

He carefully extended his two middle fingers in preparation but he stopped, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Ibuki would be mad that he incinerated her father.

* * *

 

Ibuki took a seat on her bed, and sighed in defeat. This was the most embarrassing thing in the world, she’d made a whole big scene infront of her boyfriend and ruined any chance of reconciling with her parents.

“How are you doing, Songful One?” Gundham asked, causing Ibukis attention to the doorway. 

“Not great.”

“Understandable.” He took a seat next to her.

“Look, Ibukis so so sorry she made such a big- “

“No, you’re completely in the right.”

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely. I don’t intend any offence when I say that your parents are garbage human beings.”

“None taken.”

Gundhams eyes wondered from his girlfriend, over to the shelf where he saw another picture. It was the same girl from the one he’d seen before, this time all alone by herself.

“Oh, yes, I forgot to mention this at the table, your sibling is adorable.”

“Dude…”

“Extremely cute.”

“No…”

“So, what happened to- “

“That’s me.”

Gundhams face morphed into shock at the revelation.

“B-but, y-you look so normal. Your hairs so short, and you don’t have your…” Gundham was at a loss for words so instead he decided to make a horn shape with his hands.

“Yeah, I know, I hated that time. My parents always made Ibuki tie her hair up, and wear bland grey dresses. It’s like they were forcing me to be normal.”  

“Well, for what it is worth…I think you’re pretty great now,” He said, with a peek on the cheek.

“Why wouldn’t Ibuki be?” Her smile returned, infectiously transferring to Gundham to. “Just because she was lame beforehand, doesn’t mean she’s not super-hot and super cool now!” 

* * *

 

The train ride home was uneventful, in Gundhams mind. What really stood out to him was Ibukis doorstep.

“You don’t have to stay over. I’m fine.” Ibuki said as Gundham nodded his head and began to step away before Ibuki gave him a fierce hug. “You’re the best…I mean it.”

Gundhams face was redder than she’d ever seen it before.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to make sure no one thinks I was being lazy, the names for Ibukis parents being some of the most popular in Japan was intentional. Instead, accuse me of being lazy because I don't proof read.


	27. Small Little Affections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little glimpses of Nagito and Chiakis relationship

**_Small Little Affections_ **

Having a boyfriend is weird, Chiaki thought as she looked over at the sleeping boy to her side. She was never very good at romance (dating sims were the only games that could frustrate her) and she certainly never thought she’d get to something like…this.

* * *

 

Nagito, despite what she expected, was not clingy. Instead, it was the opposite. The Ultimate Luck was aloof most of the time, Hinata was the only one who had a consistent contact with him (although Chiaki felt weirdly honoured that he’d respond to her messages at least 60% of the time.)  

One weekend, she was bored and wanted him to come over. She messaged him, called him, checked his dorm. He wasn’t anywhere! She hadn’t been this worried in her life.

Then he came in for school the next day. Not even a word besides his usual greetings. She annoyedly marched up to knock on his door as the school day ended.

“Oh, hey Nanami, I haven- “

“Where were you?”

“What?”

“I was trying to get a hold of you all weekend. Babe, I was worried sick.” She exclaimed, as she puffed her cheeks out. “If we’re dating, could you try and be a bit more, I don’t know… accessible’s the word…I think?”

“Oh! I’m so sorry Chiaki! I didn’t even realize; my phone was on silent all weekend and I was out in the city and…”

Chiaki thought it was sweet how much he cared.

* * *

“Chiaki, it’s time to wake up.”

The gamer incoherently mumbled in response as she flipped over on her side. Nagito sighed in dismay. He tried everything, taking the covers off, pushing her over, shaking her. Nothing worked.

That is until a devilish idea, popped in the lucksters head. He leaned over to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. A small moan escaped Chiakis lips as she leaned over to kiss him further, subconsciously, only for Nagito to pull away, leaving Chiaki to faceplant into the covers. She let out a scream and jolted upright.

“Komaeda! You jerk…” She mumbled to herself.

“How else was I supposed to get you up?”

* * *

 

Chiaki loved her class. More than anything in the world…but god damn they were hard to deal with. Nekomaru owed the school upwards of 2,000 dollars in property damage, Ibuki was the type of person to transition an ear-whisper into an ear-scream and Mikan once blamed herself for Akane accidentally stepping on an ant.

Gaming didn’t lend itself hand-in-hand with social interaction, and, while Chiaki tried really hard to make connections, she usually needed someone to guide her on the right track or she’d end up blocking everything out with her games.

This was one of those moments. Just her, in her room, playing tetris. Great stress reliver. There was a small knock at her door, she knew it was Komaeda. He had a spare key from her, which she had explicitly stated he could use anytime he wanted. She loved him but he was too cautious for his own good.

She muttered a simple “you can come in”, and there he was. He silently observed the mess she’d made herself into. Her hair was all over the place, she was in pyjama pants but her regular school shirt (Nagito pretended he was too much of a gentleman to notice the exposed bra strap) and was currently huddled under a mess of sheets, blankets and wires.

“Stressed out?”

“No... I mean yeah, kinda.”

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“Well…everything we’ve built up together, and they still act like they’re playing single player. I’m fine babe, just spending time grinding so maybe I can try their routes again.”

“Chiaki…you need to realize you haven’t failed. Most of the people in our class are insane, I mean, look who you decided to date!”

Chiakis lips curled into a small frown at the put down, but she figured she could let it go for once.

“But, there’s a real sense of hope with everybody. I’ve never felt it on this scale before! It’s truly amazing and you’re the forefront of that Chiaki! You’re smart and you’re pretty and you’re really ki- “

“Okay, Okay, I get it.” Nanami responded lazily, with a blush on her face.

“Sorry…was that weird?”

“Kinda, but if you’re totally maxing out my ego level so it could be worse.”

They both had a small laugh before Nagito reached for the door.

“You can stay if you want.”

“S-sure.” Nagito hesitantly made his way over to the bed and wrapped himself in the covers bringing him closer to Nanami, who flinched on contact.

“Wow, you’re freezing.”

“Guess I am.” Nagito started to laugh before he was crash tackled by the strawberry blond, who grabbed him in a hug.

“My role this game is to warm you up I guess.”

 _This is what real hope feels like._ Nagito realized as he felt the girl’s warmth slowly transferred to him. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Chiaki murmured back from his chest.

 

 


	28. Dirt Digging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ouma and Maki have a challenge for who can dig up the most dirt on the other.

**_Dirt Digging_ **

Maki liked school sometimes. She liked her friends, and she liked Rantaro and she was **almost** ready to admit she loved Shuichi. Everything was almost looking up…

“Girlllll, red is so not your colour!” Kokichi said as he made a paw at her from across the room.

“Shut your putrid, malformed, mouth Ouma.” She responded back with venom. The smaller boy, immediately crumpled with crocodile tears running down his face as he rushed over to Shuichi and clutched the detective’s arm tightly. “SHUICHI! SHE’S SO MEAN! YOU TOTALLY SHOULD NEVER DATE THAT WENCH!”

“D-date?” Both the detectives face and the child caregivers face flushed.

“W-why would I even want to date him?” Maki asked.

“Oh, spare me the pleasantries Harukawa! It’s so obvious, you like him. You’re like an artsy book, so eager to prove your high literature, but so easy to read. I could figure out everything about you if I wanted!”

“I’ll take that bet.”

“H-huh?” The supreme leader was taken by surprise.

“You versus me. Whoever can dig up the most dirt on each other wins.”

“Deal.”

* * *

 

“Keebo, are you finished?” The tennis player sighed, as he looked over at the furiously scribbling robot.

“Almost.” Keebo said, as he put the finishing touches on the 10,000-word essay that he and Ryoma had been writing. “Done.” The two-fist bumped before a stray Angie came bolting out from the left building.

“Ohheyryomahirobotbyeonarra.” The artist bumped Hoshi sending the beanied boy spiralling into the robot, knocking him over and sending the paper flying from his hands…. And into the sewer. There was a bout of stunned silence as the code computed into Ryoma and Keebos brains.

“Why’d you drop it?”

“Why’d I drop it? You’re the one who smashed into me!”

“You need stronger grip!”

“Whatever…let’s just try to get it back.”

Keebo made an attempt to pry open the grate, to little effect as the metal plate refused to budge

“C’mon, this is how you do it.” Ryoma said, nudging him aside. He picked up his racket, raised it over his head and slammed it down on the plate over and over but the shots once again seemed to do nothing. “Okay, this is going to be a problem.”

* * *

 

“Maki, are you sure this was a good idea?” Kaede asked as the brunette girl fiddled with her hair. “What if he finds out about the…” Kaede made several over exaggerated knife movements with her hands.

“There’s no way. Oumas all talk and no action. His egos the size of the moon, but he can’t back it up. Plus, that’s under wraps, I’ve made sure.”

She was interrupted by Kokichi confidently strutting into the room. “Hey, Harukawa! Are you ready to give your first statement?” Maki nodded, she subtly pulled out a piece of paper.

“Kokichi prefers the lemon Panta over the grape one.” She said, not even really sure of herself.

“Claim denied! I assume you used my receipts and sales records which does indeed indicate that there is a higher amount of lemon, but in fact, the corner shop me and Kee-boy go pass usually only has the lemon after school because all the grape sells out before break time, and I don’t go past there in the mornings.”

It was at this moment Maki realized she was drastically out-gunned and out-prepared.

“As for mine…Maki still sleeps with a small, white stuffed dog called “sniffles”. She has frequent sleeping problems if she can’t find said stuffed animal.”

The whole class room was left in stunned silence as Ouma smirked triumphant. Maki grumbled to herself before looking down at her palms.

“Claim accepted.” She mumbled, pouting, shooting not-so-subtle frequent glances over to Shuichi.

Ouma slammed his fists on the table and marched out of the room, not before leaning over Makis desk. “Your move” he mouthed.

* * *

 

“Ryoma, are you sure this is going to work?” Keebo nervously asked, as he held the smaller boy in his arms.

“Why wouldn’t it?” Exactly. It was only a 10-foot drop and sewer grates really didn’t need that much pressure. “I’ll catch you on the flipside kid.”

“We’re the same age.”

“Whatever. Drop me.” Keebo followed the order and ripped his arms from Hoshis back, sending the tennis pro spiralling down to the ground, bracing for impact.

**_SMASH!_ **

Ryoma landed on the grate but it still didn’t budge.

“Hahahah!” Ryoma started laughing, prompting Keebo to join in.

“Hahahaha.”

“Hahahaha”

“Hahahaha”

“Hahaha-Ahh, I think both my legs are broken.”

* * *

 

This was a bad idea. Maki didn’t no why she thought it wouldn’t be but it was bad. Firstly, Kokichi apparently had ears everywhere, he seemingly spent every single moment in the light of day digging through facts about her. Lucky enough, he lied enough that she could consistently deny his claims, no matter how true they were. She was currently sat in her room, desperately googling “Kokichi Ouma” for results.

“Maki, you have to call this off, Ouma is way too driven.”

“No! Why should I let that little punk win?”

“Because he’s insane! He has everything to win, and nothing to lose. No reputation-”

“Reputation…that’s it!” Maki mashed the keys abruptly before her eyes widened at the sight of the specific article. “Here! I can win, this is so much better than anything he has.”

“No Maki…what if he fires back? He has no one to impress, it’s- “

“Are you saying I do?” Maki glared.

“Shuichi! You like Shuichi!” Kaedes mouth spoke to fast for her mind to keep up and the pianist immediately held up her hands to her mouth. Maki silently glowered before storming off, paper in hands and bursting into the class room.

“Hiii Harukawa. Ready to cry uncle?”

“Nope, in fact I’m here to inform anyone. That D.I.C.E, Kokichi Oumas secret organization, is in-fact, a small prankster group that specialise in, like, joy buzzers and stuff like that. “

Oumas face twisted up in rage as he heard small chuckles break out around the class.

“Confirm or deny?”

Kokichi rushed out of the room without even answering the question, as Maki triumphantly smiled.

* * *

 

“I’m stumped.”

“Same here.”

“So…there’s really no way to get that paper back?”

Keebo and Ryoma were hunched down on a wall, sulking over the lost work.

“Well, I learnt my lesson.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t try at work. Because if you do, god will come down from the heavens and smite you down, to make sure you don’t get work done. Guess I’ve still got a ways to go”

Suddenly, from the corner of his eye, Keebo detected a small, blue card hurdling towards the vent. It flew a perfect figure eight loop before settling right between the crevasses, and in the vent.

“Drat, my debit card.” A familiar voice said, as Korekiyos lanky form came strolling into eyeline. 

“Ha…hahahaha! Kiyo, you’re never going to get that bac-“ Ryomas words were cut off as Korekiyo pulled out a screwdriver, carefully taking out the screws, lifting up the plate, reaching in his hand and taking out the card.

“Kiyo!”

“Hmm?”

“One of our papers are in there, could you take it out?” Keebo asked.

“Sure.” Korekiyo, said but his focus was uneven. He reached in with one hand but suddenly, he dropped the grate from his other, fitting it perfectly in place and sealing the grate back up.

“Shit! Don’t worry Keebo, we still have the screwdriver.”

 ** _SNAP!_** There went the screwdriver.

* * *

 

No one had seen Ouma all day and it was starting to concern Maki. After she totally exposed him, she had nothing to worry about, right? A fuming Ouma bursting through the door served as a signal from the universe that said “NO”.

“HAHA! Harukawa.” Kokichi looked to be in disarray. His handkerchief was dropping, his hair was a mess and he there were tears in his suit. “The laugher has become the laughee. Call me George Bush because I’m about to drop a bomb on you.”

“Where’d you get that from?”

“InfoWars.com.”

“No, I mean the line.”

“ **InfoWars.com** ”

“Whatever…just say your peace, and admit I beat you.”

“No! No, that’s not how this ends, I will win! I always win…Maki Harukawa is not the ultimate child caregiver….”

A chill ran down Makis spine.

“She’s the ultimate assassin!” He joyously yelled, as his eyes started to go pitch black with despair. Time froze for Harukawa, as she started to look around at the pitch blank stares but the one that she found boring into her soul was Shuichis. His stare was…disgusted and confused. Ohmygod, he hated her, he hated her now. Of course, he would, she fucking killed people.

Tears started to run down her face, as she hastily sat up from her seat and rushed out of the class. On her way, she bumped two figures emerging from the hallway.

“Oh boy.” Ryoma muttered as he looked over the scene which had just emerged.

“Kokichi you jerk!” Kaede shouted as she went over, eyes screaming bloody murder only to be marginally restrained by Rantaro who made a half-conscious effort to body block her. “Kaede, calm down.”

“Yeah, Kaede, Maki brought in on herself. Why are you even mad?”

Without even facing him, the Adventurer replied “Well Kokichi, you are being a bit of a cunt.”

“Shut the hell up guacamole, and let her fight her own battles.”

“Yeah, let me fight my own battles!” Kaede replied, causing Rantaro to give her a confused look before pushing himself out of the way and letting Kaede walk past.

“I’m gonna yell at you so hard.”

“Try it I dare you!” Kokichi yelled back, stomping his feet like a petulant child. 

“Would you excuse us for a moment?” Keebo said to Kaede, as he did something no one thought was possible…he stepped into the lions’ cage and grabbed Ouma by the collar tugging him out of the classroom.

* * *

 

“What the fuck are you doing!?”

“Wow, what’s got your gigabits in a twist?” Kokichi replied.

“That you’re acting like a major dickbag.”

“You only know that insult because of me, that means you owe me royalties.”

“Why’d you do that to Harukawa?”

“What, expose her as a fucking killer?”

“I’ve read the file, you know damn well she does it for a good cause. Besides, it’s irrelevant to you, I know you’d do it anyway.”

“How would you know anything I’d do?” Kokichi bitterly spat back, as he looked out the window.

“Because I know you! I know you Kokichi and no matter how much you try to push everyone away and act aloof, I know you. And maybe I don’t understand how your brain really works, I don’t know what your childhood was like, I don’t know your parents and I don’t care, because you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

Kokichi desperately tried to keep his façade of lies up. To tell Keebo to go to hell and he didn’t want to be friends with a loser like him anyway, but it didn’t work. He cursed himself for being so complacent.

“You hated Maki telling everyone because it’s a lie you tell yourself. It’s a way to distance yourself from everyone else and know that it’s unveiled, it’s become apparent that you have character flaws…and you hate that. “

Kokich gulped and replied “Y-yeah…I guess you hit the nail right on the head, didn’t you?”

“You’re nice Kokichi, you just don’t show it.”

“Okay, Mr. PHD in psychiatry.” Oumas mask reformed from the shattered glass of Makis revelation, but slowly, the glue once again ceased to do its job and Kokichi leaned in slowly, hugging Keebo before immediately pushing away.

“You’re a good friend.” Kokichi stammered out, before sinking his head into the pillows.

“Thank…by the way, do you have any screwdrivers?”

* * *

 

Okay, operation “get Maki the fuck outta her room” was not going so hot. The class was trying their hardest but Maki was made of ice at this point.

“Harukawwwwa, just believe in Atua and it’ll be alight.”

“Hey, Maki, you got any sex toys in there? Shits like cocaine for your heart!”

“Do you require any assistance?”

“Maki, you just give all bodies stone mask and they come back to life as vampires. Gonta read it in bug book.”

“Who cares what that degenerate male says?”

“Maki, I can help you with magiiiiiiiiic. Super-duper throbbing heart spell”

“Humanity is beautiful. So is unloading bullets into the body of humanity”

“Maki-roll! Just think positive! You can achieve anything you want if you try hard enough!”

“Wanna compare body counts?” That may have been the worst one.

“Maki, come out of my room and we can binge watch Monogatari together!” Scratch that, Maki had literally unlocked the door just so she could lock it again. That narrowed it down to 3.

* * *

 

“Hey Romance bro.” Rantaro said as he leaned on the back of the door. “You doing okay?” There was no response. The avocado haired boy sighed, realizing the fruitlessness of his cause, but not before leaving one last message of support “He doesn’t care as much as you think he does.”

Kaede tried as well, footsteps where heard, but the doorknob never spun. There was only one option left.

“Shuichi, please. You’re the only one who hasn’t talked to her.”

“I mean, I’ll try but there’s not much someone like me can do.”

Kaede sighed. “Just go.” Shuichi felt butterflys in his stomach as he marched up to the door, softly knocking on the refined wood. “Harukawa?” Soft footsteps were heard as the door hesitantly opened.

“What do you want?”

“Just wanted to talk to you.”

Maki nervously opened the door, giving Shuichi access to her dorm. She took a seat on her bed, motioning for Saihara to take the one next to her.

“Do you hate me?”

“What...No, Maki, Kaede explained it all. You’re doing it for a good cause.”

“I don’t do it anymore.”

“That’s good to know.”

There was an awkward silence before Maki softly spoke out, voice barley above a whisper.

“I’ve killed people Shuichi.”

“No one blames you.” Shuichi responded softer, his gaze not breaking for a second, showing very little emotion which was the exact opposite of what he was feeling inside.

Maki looked down at her palms before looking back up at Shuichi.

“Thanks…that’s exactly what I needed right now.” Their duel gaze lasted longer then it should’ve, as a million thoughts rushed through Makis head. _Why can’t I have a real relationship? Why can’t I have all the things other people have._ It’s a question she asked herself all the time back in junior high. Romance blossomed, she saw her friends pass her by and she couldn’t do anything because of the stupid job, so maybe, even if she didn’t deserve it, she’d indulge herself.

“I really like you.” She blurted out, grabbing one of her braids and blushing

“I…like you too. Isn’t that what friends d- “

“No, idiot…” Makis heart sank “I like you in that way.”

Shuichi froze in place, before his face exploded into a blush. “That’s a s-surprise. Are you s-sure?”

“Yes. You’re really nice and smart, you know what to say when people are felling not themselves, when you feel like you can…. that’s why I like you.” The ultimate assassins face turned beat red, and she started fiddling with her braid.

“I guess…” Shuichi froze for a second before regaining his composure…” I like you too.” Maki sighed a sigh of relief before looking up at Shuichi. “Stay with me?”

“Gladly.”

She hesitantly rested her head on his shoulder. For once, they were both happy just...being themselves 

* * *

 

Of course, the class supported her. She had no idea why they thought she wouldn’t. Still the out pour of love and affection didn’t mean as much as a small package that fell out of her locker, it read.

**_To Harukawa, From Rantaro._ **

She opened up the paper to reveal a set of multi coloured scrunchies, like the ones in her hair. _Smells of Kokichi_ she thought, as she analysed the package closer.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	29. Warming Up To It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4 +1= 600-10 divided by 24.67 to the square root of pi fic!

The first time they kiss, it’s on accident. Shuichi’s simply reading his book and Maki tries to lean over to sticky beak. The detective’s eyes panned up, and so did his mouth, leading to a quick peck. It wasn’t the worst (despite what Maki tried to get out through her blush)

The second time they kiss, it’s in the moment. It’s supposed to be a big celebration but they’ve been waiting for fireworks all night, everyone’s getting tired but suddenly, an explosion of red, blue, orange and green fills the sky. A massive cheer is let out by the exasperated students and in the haste of it all, Maki pulls her boyfriend into a kiss. She pushes him away just as quick.

The third time, Saihara finds Harukawa sleeping on his couch. She looked so cute down he just had to…. he was the one sleeping on his couch that night.

The fourth time is a lot different. Maki’s been trying to take the hat off for weeks, and just when she thought she’d finally got a breakthrough, he cracked and refused to do anything.

“Shuichi! Take the god damn hat off!”

“No! I like having it on, it’s a goodway to- “

“Make sure you don’t have to look at people. Yeah, I get it, but also, I don’t, that’s stupid, take it off.”

“No, I’ll look- “

In a fit of frustration, Maki leaned over and kissed him full on the mouth. Time stood still, before they broke for air.  Shuichi tried to lean in again, but his face was met with Makis hand.

“Take your stupid hat off.”

Shuichi did it without a second thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shortest chapter yet, I'm pretty sure.


	30. Makoto Naegis Super Worst Day Ever Championship Edition DX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makotos sick. Everyone else has to adjust

Water. A drink of water was all Makoto needed to quench this heat. God damn, he was burning up like a stoners basement, he just needed a drink of water. Focus on walking, he thought, right, left, right, left, Toko, what? Suddenly, Makotos foot slipped, and he went flying…down the stairs.

BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! He was like a pachinko ball and god had made sure he was hitting every rung on the ladder of life. Finally, he reached the bottom, aches eating away at him. Maybe he’d rest here for a bit…

**_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_ **

He woke up to find himself, face up in a pile of his own spit with a throbbing headache in 2 flavours: “migraine like” Internal and “You’ve been thrown down a flight of stairs” external. He struggled to his feet, and grabbed at the table to find a piece of paper.

_Hey Bro!_

_Found you sleeping at the bottom of the stairs. Don’t know what that’s about, but you do you! Anyway, Mum and Dad are away on business so I need you to pick me up from swimming! See you at 3:40!_

Well there goes any chance he had of staying home that day. Komarus swimming lessons were a while away from him, but only a tiny bit away from Hopes Peak. He’d have to go there anyway.

Sluggishly, Makoto trudged over to the medicine cabinet and stifled around. When Mum had headaches she’d always feel great after a few of these pills, he just needed to figure out which one she took, which would be hard because most of the labels looked like squilled lines. He took out one that read “坏的坏药”in his eyes before figuring “what the hell” and taking a few.

“ _What’s the worse that could happen?”_

* * *

 

“You look like a wreck.” Byakuya said, as Makoto dazed around the halls, bumping into walls.

“Byakuya! I’m telling you, I’m fine. On the way here I took a pill, I vomited it up. I took another one, vomited it up, but I just took one a few minutes a go and guess what?” Makoto cut himself off mid-sentence by grabbing a trash ban and vomiting in it.

“We need to get you too a nurse.”

“No! No! I’m chill as a cucumber hombre, honest.”

“Hmph, fine. But don’t count on me to bail you out when you puke all over Toko.”

“What?! Could that happen?”

“I mean…yes, of course it could.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure.”

“Yes.”

“Okay…now could you repeat everything from the last two minutes because I forgot all of it.”

* * *

 

Fourth period was the worst. Byakuya had done his best to keep Makoto going through his lessons, but for some reason, the reading session in the library was the hardest. Makoto was currently trying his damndest to “reach his inner core” as he put it.

“Jesus christ, oh lord eternal in the sky, grant me the hope to push through.” He slurred for between the 50th and 56th time, Byakuya estimated.

“Naegi.” Sakuras voice sternly called out. “What exactly is wrong?”

“My stomach is doing somersaults in my stomach and I’m choking on life.”

“…What?”

“Don’t mind him, he’s going through a… religious phase.”

A pillow came flying and hit Byakuya in the back of the head.

“Religious phase this!” Makoto called out, not opening his eyes.

* * *

 

He was so close, he was ever so close! Byakuya had made it so close to the end of the day, but Makoto was not making it easy. Culinary class was utterly pointless, he could effortlessly cook up perfect dishes…but when his group was Makoto and Fukawa, it made things **slightly** harder.

“D-do you ever s-slow d-down?”

“Nope, never slow down, I’m like the energiser bunny.”

“More l-like the c-coked up b-bunny.”

Makotos facial features shifted around a few times, before contorting with…annoyance. He walked over to a shelf, grabbed a bag of sugar and slammed it on the ground, sending white dust flying everywhere. The boy pointed his finger at Toko and loudly bellowed out:

“ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?”

“Good grief, Makoto, get ahold of yourself.”

“Oh yeah?” Makoto made a grab at his backpack, quickly taking out the container of pills and chugging it down feverously, before Byakuya managed to wrestle it off him.

“Jesus Christ, what on gods green earth are you doing?”

“Drugs…” Makoto let out lazily, before his head slammed against the table. The whole room fell silent, except for the sound of Byakuyas heavy breathing.

“He’s just taking a nap. It’s fine, I have successfully made it through… _His sister has swimming and there’s no one to pick her up.”_ The sheer intensity in Byakuyas voice was palpable. The whole class flinched. “ _That’s why he came in today…._ Mother fuc- “

* * *

 

Awful, absolutely awful. That’s what this situation was. He was sitting on a public train with Yasuhiro and Toko, on route to pick up Makotos little sister. He would’ve got a chauffeur there, but then he thought Komaru (and yes, he knew her on a first name basis) would have no one to talk to about girl things. As badly as he wanted to take Kyoko (for purley platonic reasons of course), he figured she may not be the greatest with kids, so the only person who he could convince to go with him was…Toko, which is why he could not chauffeur himself there…because if he did, he would half to install a divide in the middle of the car and that was a humungous waste of his hard-earned money. Yasuhiro had piped in claiming he lived around there anyway, so he’d tag along too.

All three of them made a stop at the aquatics centre, and immediately as they entered it, Yasuhiro was sweating.

“What on earth are you so worried about?” Byakuya harshly whispered to the clairvoyants’ ear.

“Name tags, navy blue uniforms, cameras? These guys are the feds, and they’re here to bust me, hell maybe the whole thing was just for them to get to me!”

“So, this whole, 2-million-dollar aquatic centre was set up, just to bust you because you sometimes smoke a little, tiny bit of weed?”

“Yes.”

Byakuya sighed before walking up to reception. 

“Excuse me, we’re here for Komaru Naegi.” He said, as Toko nodded her head along to his words.

“Oh, she’s over in the waiting roo- “

“It wasn’t me.” Yasuhiro stammered out.

“…Excuse me?”

“I didn’t buy the weed!” The clairvoyants smaller tone turned into a yell, as he started convulsively shaking like a man in the freezing cold. The slight twitch of the women’s face sent him screaming out the door, but instead of taking said door, he smashed through the massive glass window, face-planting on the floor outside.

“Well…I have to go check he isn’t dead, go get Komaru and meet me at reception.”

“B-but Byakuya…” Tokos pleas fell on deaf ears, as Byakuya marched off to check on the almost-dead Yasuhiro. She sighed, before hesitantly walking over to reception, were she found a smaller girl, hesitantly waiting on the couch.

“H-hey, a-are you K-Komaru?”

The girl gave her a confused look. “Yeah, why?”

“S-sorry, M-Makoto’s really s-sick and c-couldn’t pick you up.”

“Oh! That’s why he fell asleep on the stairs! I was wondering about that…”

“Y-yeah, anyway, if y-you want to c-come home with-”

“Hold on…are you that Fukawa girl he’s always talking about?”

“W-what? He, he, he…” Fukawa.exe had stopped responding. Blush engulfed Tokos face, and just as her trademark scowl broke out, Byakuya heroically made the save of the lifetime.

“Toko, stop harassing the child.”

“Byakuya!” Komarus voice was weirdly positive, all things considering about who she was talking too.

“How are you doing?”

“Really great! How about you?”

“Terrible. I will say this to you again, High School is the most boring thing in the whole world.” Komaru laughed and walked off with the two. Toko was just amazed to see Byakuya showing real compassion.

* * *

 

**_Beep! Beep! Beep!_ **

Makoto woke up again, but this time it was on his dorm bed. There was an aromic candle placed next to him. Next to it was a hand read note, he recognized the note.

**_Dear Makoto Naegi_ **

Byakuya still didn’t understand you didn’t need to use peoples last names in letters.

_We picked Komaru up from swimming and delivered her home safely. I am currently in police negations regarding Hakagures release for property damage after he smashed through a window, so I will not be with you when you read this (Or maybe I will, I’m not a god damn time traveller.) What I wanted to say with this letter was…Komaru almost gave away your crush to Toko but I brilliantly distracted her…I am totally winging you so hard right know._

Out of all the funniest jokes in the universe, reading that in Byakuyas voice was the one that made Makoto laugh the loudest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, back to comedy stuff for now, after the fluff and emotional fics. I'm gonna have a chapter centring around Chihiro, Mondo and Taka next and some Munakata and Juzo brOTP stuff.


	31. Continue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chihiro is smitten with a girl from the 77.

**_Continue?_ **

Assemblies are boring, at least, Chihiro always thinks so. Mondo always wags on assembly days, but Taka always yells at him for it but he’s just as bad. He once showed up to school with walking pneumonia to keep perfect attendance. It’s boring here, until he sees her…

Blonde girl from the 77th class, absolutely stunning.  His attention is immediately drawn to her, and it’s like there’s no one else in the room, her presence fills a warmth in the Programmers chest.

“Hey…Taka…Taka!” Chihiro nudges him.

“Hmm?”

“Who’s that girl over there?”

“Chiaki Nanami, representative from the class 77, ultimate gamer.”

God, she very may well be perfect. In her presence, Chihiro couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

 

He gets paired up with her for cross-class math and he can’t hold her glance for a second. It’s not like Chihiro was ever the most confident person in the world and when faced with what’s basically his dream girl, that gap starts to intensify. 

“You like games?” He asked nervously

“What gave you that idea?” Chiaki replied with a small smile.

“U-uh…have you played the new Final Fantasy?”

That got her attention. The gamers eyes widened

“Oh. My. God! I love it so much! Noctis is such a great protagonist and the gameplay and battles are so smooth” Her enthusiasm was infectious, Chihiro couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks, he finds himself entirely smitten. She’s amazing in every way, but his crush is hardly a secret.

“Ay, Chihiro, you like that chick from the 77?” Mondo “whispers” to him at lunch.

“I w-wouldn’t s-say...”

“Yes, Mr-ahem, Miss Fujisaki has become quite smitten with her, bro.”

Mondo tried to pat him on the back but it felt more like a punch.

“Good on ya, Fujisaki! She’s a cool chick but how exactly are you gonna explain the…” Chihiros eyes rolled like marbles as he observed Mondo making a phallic motion.

“H-Hey, I-I’m not gonna ask h-her out…I’m n-not good with r-romance.”

“What?! But she’s your dreamgirl! Man, we’ll help you out and by the time me and Taka are done, you guys will be dating by the end of the week.”

This could only go badly but Chihiro couldn’t help but smile.

* * *

 

Chihiro had never been as happy to be wrong in his life. As much as Mondo and Taka differed on literally everything, Fujisakis critical thinking let him realize that at least one of their pieces of advice was right.

After a week, they’d settled on the perfect plan, Chihiro would wear a tuxedo, confess with a bundle of flowers, chicks love flowers, and tell her that he was really a boy and they’d live happily ever after.

It was 9:00pm in the courtyard, he’d asked her to meet him there during math. Mondo had hyped him up beforehand but his nervousness was still palpable. He saw her sitting out there, legs crossed on a bench. She looked so pretty.

He cleared his throat and her attention turned to him with a soft smile.

“Hey hey.”

“H-Hey.” Chihiro stuttered, cleverly concealing the flowers behind his back. “I h-hope this wasn’t t-too i-inconvenient.”

“Nope. To be honest, I was already waiting for someone here anyway.”

“Huh?” That struck Chihiro as odd…very odd and as he attempted to shrug it off, his romantic spiel was interrupted by a taxi rolling up infront of the school. Chiakis face lit up and she turned to Chihiro.

“Sorry, I’ve got to take this but you can tell me after.”

Chihiro nodded understandingly and observed as a boy with a green hoddie emerged from the door. Chiaki ran up to him and crash tackled him in a hug.

“Ahh! How was your trip?” She asked, happily, smiling at him.

“It was ok, I guess. I’m so sorry I didn’t text you anything for, like, 2 days. I lost my phone on the train.”

“But you texted me earlier.”

“I found it on the train ride home which happened to be the same train I left on. What luck!” Nagito said excitedly, before looking at his watch. “I’m sorry, I promised Hajime we’d hang out after I got back so I’ve got to go to his dorm, but if you want me to sleep over in your dorm tonight.”

“That’d be great.” Chiaki said, leaving Nagito to his errands with a peek to the cheek.

_WORST CASE SCENARIO! WORST CASE SCENARIO!_

Chihiros heartbreak took second place to his main conundrum, how was he gonna get out of this. The programmer’s eyes scanned across the courtyard and he quickly threw the flowers into nearby bin.

“What did you want to tell me?”

Chihiro froze up, his eyes widened. He just needed an excuse…think, think, think…

“I’m starting a catering company and this is what I’m wearing…what do you think?” Chihiro put on a fake smile. 

* * *

 

“Come on, Chihiro, there’s plenty of fish in the sea!” Mondo tried to be positive but there was no salvaging this.

“Thanks Mondo” The programmer replied glumly from his hands.

“I’m serious. You’ll land on your feet! Trust me!” Mondo held out a thumbs up.

“Yes! Fujisaki, your improv skills were more than adequate, exactly as we practiced!”

“No fucker, I mean…”

“Owada! That language is not appropriate for a school environment.”

“You mother- “

They squabbled into the night, as Chihro tapped away at some code. Despite their intensity, the intent was still there. He had support from great friends, so who cared about some really nice, thoughtful, pretty girl from the 77…he’d get over it. In the face of Mondo and Ishimaru, He couldn’t help but smile.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that's enough artsy fluff chapters. Gonna write a proper normal styled comedy/sliceoflife one next. 77 probs.


	32. Camp (?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Camp doesn't go as planned for anyone in the 77.

Well, the class 77 certainly hadn’t expected a mansion as the setting for their camp. Originally, they were supposed to go to a camp site but it flooded (Poor Juzo was caught in the cross-fire while setting up). Luckily, Fuyuhiko made the last minute save as he rented out one of his father’s many mansions to use as a venue.

The class was currently gathered in the hall as Chisa ran down their schedule.

“You’ll be permitted to explore anywhere int the area but We’ll have dinner at 8:30 so please be back here by 7:30…also we’ll need two people to actually cook dinner?”

Mahirus hand instinctively shot up. Her look of determination turned to a faint blush as the whole class turned to her.

“W-what? No one else was g-going to do it.”

There was wait for a second person to volunteer but no arms shot up. There was a long stretch of silence before a sharp voice spoke up.

“Ahh, what the hell? I’ll do it.” Hajime said with a smile, causing Mahirus blush to intensify.

“Well, that’s settled…everyone be on their way now!” Chisa said happily, leaving a barrage of voices to emerge from the class.

“Gundham! Come to the shop with me! I saw this awesome looking pot and there’s probably a ghost in it!” Ibuki shouted, clinging on to his arm like a dog with a bone.

“Well, I cannot, as your significant other, allow you to take the risk of summoning a poltergeists unwarranted attention, so I will accompany you.”

“Hey, count me in too, I need to pick up parts” Kazuichi said.

“’Kay. Meet Ibuki outside of the gate at twelve! Don’t be late.” She said with a wink before rushing to grab a room in the house. 

* * *

 

 “Well, I guess we’re left all alone huh?” Nagito said, as Chiaki curled into his chest.

“Yeah…” She lazily said, with her hood on. They sat there for a while, before Nagito felt an uneasy shuffling in his chest area.

“What’s up?”

“I’m bored.” Chiaki pouted, crossing her arms.

“Don’t you have your games?”

“No…I promised Chisa I wouldn’t take them to camp…maybe If I’d known we’d be hanging out in a mansion…” She said sadly.

“Don’t be so glum.  I’m sure there’s plenty of things we can do, as long as you’d be willing to do it with me.”

“Sure…what’ve you got in mind?”

* * *

 

Something was off. Mahiru had been watching him, and unlike the Hajime she knew, this one was displaying base line culinary competency. He knew where knives were, he knew how to mash potatoes, he even caught one of the spoons before it hit the ground.

“What’s up with you?” Mahiru asked as she ground down some spices, not even granting the attorney with a gaze.

“What do you mean?”

“Last time I talked with you about cooking, you could only cook 2 Minute noodles. Now you know how to carry knives properly?”

Hajime took a quick sigh. “Well, I took your advice to heart. Learnt the basics, I’m actually alright now.”

Mahiru let out a quick “hmph” and looked away with a blush.

* * *

 

“Woah! There it is!” Ibuki said, motioning her hands to the vase, covered by a glass box. “It looks so pretty…excuse me, sir, how much is that?” Her hand waved at the attendant.

“Sorry, not for sale.” A gruff man said in an Italian accent. Ibukis face dropped before she walked over closer.

“Why not?”

“Huh?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t feel like answer- “

“Whynotwhynotwhynotwhynotwhynotwhynot”

“Mioda…” Gundham whispered with concern as the man’s face turned into one of annoyance.

“Stupida cagna. fuori dalla mia vista. fuori dalla mia fottuta vista!” He swore, causing Gundhams concerned face to turn to one of outrage.

“How dare you!” He shouted, preparing his hand while Ibuki and Kazuichi looked at him confused, the shop owner still shouting.

“Vai a scopare la tua stupida ragazza!”

“Sei uno stupido idiota, stupida madre puttana!” Gundham shouted back.

“Non-ha nemmeno senso! Out! Out!” The man grabbed the broom and swung it at the students, causing Gundham and Ibuki to scurry out of the room, while Kazuichi ran up to the man waving his hands.

“Wait, wait, wait! I just need these, I’ll pay CAS-”

**_WHACK!_ **

The next thing Kazuichi knew, he was rubbing his head outside the front of an Italian restaurant, while Gundham and Ibuki complained.

“His comments were totally out of line!”

“What did he even call Ibuki.”

“A combination of “bitch” and “whore””

“Ah! Sexist asshole! I wish I could just…That’s it.”

“That’s what?” Kazuichi piped in, still nursing his head.

“That’s it! We’ll wait till sundown, and then we’ll sneak into the store, still the vase and laugh in his face!”

“I dunno, Not really felling like another hit to the head.”

“Souda don’t be a pussy!”

“Agreed, Souda, don’t be a pussy”

“I just wanted some parts man.” he harshly whispered to himself, as he pulled the beanie over his head.

* * *

 

“So, what do we do?” Nanami confusedly asked.

“Ibuki taught me and Hajime this game it’s called “kicking Nekomaru”, I didn’t participate last time but Hajime told me it was super fun.”

“You go first then.” Chiaki sighed, realizing this was a horrible idea but her fears subsided as Nagito winked at her, and walked in to the room. There was a tense few seconds of silence, before the room practically exploded with bolts of electricity sending Nagito flying out onto the floor. Chiaki exploded into giggles, before they stifled by way of concern.

“Are you ok?” She said, rushing over to him.

“Everything hurts.”

* * *

 

 Sundown, 5:30pm, outside Lous pawn shop.

Ibuki, Kazuichi and Gundham were huddled around a small metal vent opening near the owners’ store.

“Are you sure this leads to it?” Kazuichi nervously said.

“Absolutely, I’ve traced the whole place out from head to toe, darkness to ash, LIGHT TO-”

“Calm down honey.”

“Okay.”

“So, c’mon Kazuichi, unfasten the screws so we can get revenge on that fat, balding man.”

“Fine…” Souda said with a sigh “But if the cops bust in and arrest us for breaking and entering, I’m bolting and not paying your bail!”

“Whatever, whatever! Just get screwing…Inuendo not intended!”

Kazuichi reluctantly grabbed his screwdriver and made work on the vent.

**_Clink._ **

“We’re in.” The three teens quickly crawled into the narrow passage way, making sure no one saw them.

“You better not be looking up Ibukis skirt!”

“I am not some murderous sex fiend, songful one, I would never…” Gundhams complaints gradually faded as he heard a soft giggle coming from the musician. His angered expression turned into a reluctant smile.

“Okay, guys, what’s the plan?” Kazuichi asked.

“Wellllll…we’re gonna get Gundham to cast his magic spells, and that will make a giant tornado sucking up all the guys stock and destroying his store. Gundham…. GO!”

Both of the mortals in the room braced as Gundham clapped his hands together…but nothing happened.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh, what?” Ibuki asked as Gundham sighed.

“There’s some…interference with my magical powers.  What could it be…steel is usually a big one but I don’t see any of that…”

He turned his head to see Ibukis glare as she banged her fist on the ceiling of the vent.

“Oh…”

“Oh my god, Tanaka! Come on man!”

“Yeah, Gundham, you swearsied with Ibuki that you’d do it right.”

“Well I was not informed that the grate would be steel, songful one! I would’ve presumed silver!”

Without warning, the stalk of a broom came shooting through the vent causing the trio to come falling to the store floor, with the old man looming over them. “I told you kids to get the fuck outta my store!” He shouted. “So why ‘da fuck are you here?”

“Uh…we were in the neighbourhood?” Ibuki suggested, narrowly dodging the proceeding swat. “Time to leave guys!”. Gundham quickly ran over to the door handle but it was met with little success.

“Locked.”

“God damn it! Where’s the key then?” The rockers question was answered by a glimmering near the mans belt causing her to give out a comedically exasperated sigh. “Kazuichi go…Come on!” She screamed as her gaze turned to the mechanic perched down near a shelf, sorting through different nuts and bolts.

“Kazuichi…. KAZUICHI!”

 “Wha?”

“Oh, for god’s sake!” Gundham screamed out, currently struggling with the door handle. His gaze become deadly serious as he focused his eyes at the handle.

“ ** _Crawling Cyclone-_** Woah!” It seemed Gundham had underestimated the power of his own burst and he sent himself flying across the whole store like a nuclear missile strike, smashing into a wall.

“Oh my god! Time out! Time out!” Ibuki screamed, bringing all the other noise to a halt. Even the old man stopped moving, due to the concern in Ibukis voice. She rushed over to the dark lords’ side hurriedly.

“Gundham! Are you ok?!”

“I-I’m f-fine, maiden of mus- “

“Then stand up.”

“No.”

‘Why not?”

“I like it on the ground…”

“You’re hurt.”

“’M not.” He was audibly slurring at this point. Ibukis eyes fiercely turned to the side to stare at the man “What’s so important about that damn vase?”

“I don’t wa- “

“You better tell Ibuki!”

And then he did something no one expected…he started crying. “It…was my wifes…and now…now she’s gone…”

“Dude, why’d you have it sitting out on the shelves?” Kazuichi asked.

“She was the only thing paying for the house. Landlord kicked me out after she died…had to keep all of my and her possessions here.” He replied, through chocked tears, head in hands.

“Wow…man, that sucks.”

“Ahwos” Gundham slurred in agreement.

“Yes.” He simply replied, Ibuki walked over and started fishing into her wallet.

“You’ll land on your feet eventually man! Here’s 1…2…3…4…10 bucks for your inconvenience.”

The man nodded his head at her and muttered out a small thanks. Ibuki flashed him one more apologetic look before walking over to Gundham and attempting to bridal style carry him….

“Ha…nope, you are way too heavy for Ibuki.” She then transitioned to draping his arm over her shoulder, walking out of the store after the man chucked the key over the counter. He solemnly smiled to himself, thinking about how much the couple reminded him of him and hi-

“Hey! For these, do you take cash or card?” The mechanic came stepping out of the aisle, different mechanical parts coming falling out of his arms.

* * *

 

“Well…we went gardening, nature walking, I got killed by Nekomaru and we just finished learning how to play chess…what do you want to do now, Nanami?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’ll just go to sleep.”

“But it’s only 6:30 and we haven’t had dinner yet. Why don’t we try…I don’t know, dancing?”

“Dancing...Komaeda, I don’ think I’d be any good.”

“Chiaki…” He linked his hand with hers, causing the gamer to look up into his eyes. “It’ll be fine, let’s just give it a try.”

Before she knew it, she was standing with him, arms linked, music in the background.

“Just follow my moves, OK?” Nagito said, and she did. One step forward, one step back, spin around. Damn…this was actually pretty fun, Nagito was surprisingly graceful as well. He dipped her with ease and easily matched her movements…until he made a misstep on a broken floorboard sending them both falling to the ground.

Poor Nagito bumped his hand on the table, switching off the music, and landing on the floor with a horrible “THWOMP!” Chiaki simply landed on his chest.

“Ooooo…”

“Oh my gosh! Nagito are you OK?”

“D-don’t worry, I’m fine. Not the first bump I’ve taken today….and can’t say I’m hating this situation.” He painfully managed a laugh. His humour was hardly infectious though as Nanamis face shifted into a small frown.

“Why’d you do anything you did today?”

“Pardon?”

“You spent your whole day doing stuff that actively got you hurt…”

“I mean I didn’t really…”

“You got spiked by a cactus, bitten by that turtle we found…even when we were playing chess, you got a papercut while writing down wins and losses ratio...you clearly knew your luck was on the fritz”

“Yeah…but, you were bored. I may as well take some of my worthless time to make your day a bit better.”

The strawberry blondes small frown turned into a bored glare.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know.” She still couldn’t wipe that stupid grin from his face…well there was one thing. She carefully lowered her face down to his level, and kissed him. After holding it for a few seconds, she pushed off him and admired her handiwork.

He really hadn’t changed since the first time she’d done it. Nagito reached his hand up to cup her hand but it actually hit a candle he’d set up earlier, tipping it over and setting the blinds on fire.

“…Shit.” They simultaneously said.

* * *

 

” Well, that’s the last of it….” Hajime said, whipping his forehead. Mahiru grunted in response, before beginning to walk away.

“Hey…” He quickly followed up.

“Hmm…”

“Do you want to, like, hang out?”

The question took her by surprise, but she shot him a fierce glare and coldly said.

“Sorry, not really felling like it today.”

Normally that would be enough but she’d been acting weird the whole day, something was wrong.

“Hey…are you OK?” Hajime asked, concerned. Mahiru just kept walking. She walked and walked and walked until she made it to her room, slamming the door.

Hinata tried to follow her, but she was way faster than him and he’d look like a rapist trying to run after her, but he may as well try and knock on the door. Midway through his walk though, Nagito, emerged from a corridor, holding an empty water bottle and visible scorch marks on his hoddie and hair.

“Oh, hey Hinata! Haven’t seen you all day.”

“Yeah…sorry, I’ve just got something I need to- “

“Ohhhh, is it to do with Koizumi?” 

“W-what?!”

“She looked super pissed…oh, did you have something to do with that?”

“I don’t think I did but…”

“I mean it’s very easy to annoy the ones you love so it would be expected.”

“The ones we love?! Wait, I don’t…”

Nagito shot him a look that read “really?”.

“Okay, maybe I like her a little bit.” He mumbled.

“Then go get her! You’ve seen first hand what happens when you hesitate.” Nagito motioned to himself. “You’ll find your hope.”

Hajime smirked. “When did you become the romance guru?”

Nagito hesitated to answer, but he was quickly cut off by a booming voice from down the hall.

“KOMAEDA! IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED, I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!” Fuyuhikos unmistakable voice came booming from down the stairs.

“Go, go!” Nagito mouthed before his tone turned sickly sweet “Fuyuhiko! Nothings damaged at all, in fact, everything’s in better condition than it was befo- “

The brunette sleuthed away, playing a game of Russian Roulette of what one Mahirus door was. The middle one stuck out as the most obvious choice. He hit two sharp knocks before the door opened.

“What do you want?” She said, holding one hand on her head.

“You’ve been acting really weird over the last few weeks. Want to talk about it?”

Mahiru flinched. Maybe she should tell Hajime to go away like normal but god damn, she’d be crushing on him hard for months…maybe it was time to rip the band-aid off.

“Yeah…sure. Come in.” She motioned for him to meet her on the bed. Hajime tentatively took a seat, while she continued to pace around the room.

“Look…I thought I could handle being friends with you.” She said frantically.

“Wha-?”

“I know you don’t want a relationship…you said it right to me…but I really like you, so it’s just really hard to be around you as a friend.” She managed to stammer out, looking at her hands. A hard tension hung in the air for an uncomfortable amount of time.

_Wow, Nice going Mahiru, you completely scarred him off now. You no-talent, insul-_

The photographer’s inner self-loathing train of thought by the sound of Hajime’s…laughter? Her sad expression shifted to anger as she glared at him.

“You’re laughing? Really? After I just…”

“No! No! Mahiru…I like you too.”

At this point, Koizumi had no idea what to think. Her expression became one of confusion.

“But you said you didn’t want a relationship “

“Yeah, well, everyone says that when they’re sitting next to girl they like.”

“You swear your not lying?” Hajime nodded his head, prepared to see Mahiru actually displaying affection for once…

“How can you be so unreliable?!” Of course, she wasn’t. “You had me dangling from a thread and you still couldn’t put together the signs? Jeez! Makes me reconsider the person I’m dating.”

“But we are dating?” Hajime replied with a smirk causing a blush to creep onto Mahirus face.

“W-well, u-uh….”

Hajime gently took her hand and their eyes met. Green on green, both leaned in, bracing themselves when:

**_BAM!_ **

Fuyhikos foot came stomping through their door. “Nagito, I know your-Oh shit, sorry guys, go back to kissing or whatever.”

 “Way to ruin the moment.” Mahiru replied flatly.

 


	33. What Is This, A Crossover Episode?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A costume party at Hopes Peak brings unexpected hijinks between the 78 and 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally back! Sorry this chapter took so long but I was swamped and also it's the longest one in the fic, I'm 75% sure. Enjoy!

Costume parties? What was it that made these god-for-saken things interesting? All it usually left Toko was a mountain of bad experiences and a lighter wallet…and yet, here she was, walking to this stupid meeting of the classes thing, hair slightly dyed blonde, wearing a blue and white dress masquerading as a Lewis Carrol character.

“You look nice.” Kyoko commented causing Toko to plainly stare back.

“Y-you l-look predictable.” She replied, looking over Kirigiris Sherlock Holmes get up.

“Oh? Expecting me to dress like this?”

“W-who e-else would y-you h-have g-gone as?”

Kyoko laughed off her insults as the literary girl kept frowning. “C’mon, everyone’s huddled up in the lobby, we should go check their costumes.” The two girls made a short walk to the opening lobby, where a huge chunk of the students were huddled.

Kyokos eyes scanned over the room, picking and choosing ones she could identify: Sayaka (Sailor Moon), Leon (Babe Ruth, although she suspected he just didn’t want to shill out the cash for a real costume), Chihiro, Taka, Mondo (Luigi, Mario and Wario respectively), Sakura (Ryu), Mukuro (The Bride) Junko (Joseph Stalin), Hifumi (Sasuke? She tried not to look at him) and Aoi (An Olympian that Kyoko did not know the name of) became apparent immediately but there was a few that stood out.

“Hey, Mr. Hijirihara. Who’re you supposed to be?” She asked with a questioning glance as all she saw him wearing was his normal suit jacket and pants.

“Is it not obvious? I’m god.”

“You don’t look like- “

“Uh uh uh uh!” He half shouted, sounding like a trumpet “That’s the liberal media getting to your head. God could take any form he wants…you could be god…I could be god…who knows? Maybe Naegis god?”

“You’re intoxicated.”

“I know you are but what am I?”

“Extremely childi- “

“Look, just admit you got outplayed.”

Kyoko walked off in a huff. He really was a lost cause. Her eyes began another complete scan off the room, trying to focus upon targets who she hadn’t seen. Her violet pupils eventually landed on…another god damn suit.

“Hmph…too cool for Halloween as well, Byakuya?” She asked, boredom dripping from her tone.

“Quite the contrary, Miss Kirigiri, I love Halloween. Every single year, I intricately plan a costume that most people can’t even- “

‘Just figured it out. Your Moriarty.”

“Well, just shit all over my tradition then.” He replied with a smirk, which earned a small giggle from Kyoko.

“Guess that makes us a matching pair then?”

The realization of this was somehow lost upon Byakuya until now, he broke out into a small flush upon realizing. “H-hmm, so I guess we are.”

Meanwhile, Toko scraped through the crowd, eyes darting left and right, looking for someone she actually knew, until she finally managed to find Naegi, dressed in a red cloak and black jacket, with his hair tied up in a braid.

“H-Hey.” She flushed as she saw Makotos eyes light up when he saw her.

“Hey! Alice in Wonderland, right?” His guess was proven correct by a head nod. “You look amazing!”

“T-thanks…what a-are y-you s-supposed to b-be”

“Oh! Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist because I’m short…can’t perform magic though…. Won’t cast it with this grey sleeveie” He said with a smile, holding up his left arm, which was covered by a grey stocking in an attempt to replicate automail, earning a laugh from Toko. The moment was spoiled as Yasuhiro came stomping through the room, wearing nothing but a yellow t-shirt and blue parka.

“W-what the h-hell are y-you s-supposed to be.”

Yasuhiros eyes confusedly looked around, observing all the costumes before re fixing with an expression of panic. “Shit, I forgot this was today.” He said to himself, but also everyone else because he had no idea what the hell an inside voice was.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…I’m Scott Pilgrim…From Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.”

* * *

 

“Well Himiko! Guess we’re matching hair colour tonight.” Kokichi said motioning to his own head.

“Uh. Mines actually real, who are you even supposed to be anyways?” She said, looking up from her book, pretending to smoke her “magic” pipe as she called it. Kokichi had been entirely disappointed with her costume, which was just miscellaneous “witch”.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m Giorno Giovanna! Mudamudamudamudamuda!” He replied, purposely extending stretching his Mudas to were he could barley breath.

“…. I don’t know who that is.” She replied, leaving Kokichi deadpanned. He was about to continue, when a huge chunk of the class came pouring out of the doors to the 79 lobby.

Gonta as Jonathen Joestar, Kaito as Han Solo, Tenko as Willem Ruska and Kaede as Beethoven were all highlights.

“Himiko! What are you doing hanging out with this idiot?”

“I mean, it’s not like I wanted too.” She lazily said, ignoring the supreme leader’s presence but without missing a beat, he cupped her chin with his hands, eyes slanted.

“Oh _Himiko._ How will I ever go on without your affection.” He said, every word bringing his face closer to hers.

“N-n-nyeh.” She stuttered, closing her eyes as the supreme leaders tried to borrow into hers.

“Degenerate male!”

“Oh shit. KEE-BOY HELP M- “

**_WHAM!_ **

* * *

 

Maki finally put the last black stripe on her mask, as she leaned back, looking over herself in the mirror. She didn’t know why she’d spent so much time on this stupid costume…maybe it was because she wanted to look nice for hi-

No, that was stupid. Maki didn’t care what her boyfriend thought at all. Really. Actually. I mean, they hadn’t had any dates yet, she hadn’t gone to his house or even met his parents. This mental huff caused her to subconsciously tug on her hair.

“Y-you’re cute when you do that.” His voice softly travelled through her room causing Maki to turn on her heel, blushing profusely. “Joker from Persona 5, right?” She nodded her head, observing his plain white shirt and blue jeans.

“What, not willing to dress up?” She said with a teasing smile.

“No…I’m L…from Death Note?”

Maki confusedly shook her head, grimace adorning her features as Shuichi put on an awkward smile. “Whatever, let’s go to the party.” He said, taking her by the hand. _It feels nice_ Maki thinks, before shaking the thoughts out of her head again. Look at the once ultimate assassin, acting like a glorified schoolgirl in the face of…him. Shuichi “Cried because Spider-Man died in Infinity War” Saihara, was causing this…pit in her stomach and she hated it! She felt sick to her stomach…she just wanted to run to her room, slam the door and block everything out everythingouteverythingouteveything-

“Maki!”

His voice snaps her back to reality, but she notices, she’s not holding his hand anymore, she’s holding her own arms and breathing heavy.

“Are you ok?” He says, hand on her shoulder.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. Bad sleep’s all.” She manages to get out. Shuichi shoots her a concerned look but lets it go, walking ahead of her.

_W-why is this happening now?_

* * *

 

“Oh, what are you supposed to be.” Kirigiri asks. It seemed strangely out of character but she’d been analysing Celestia for 20 minutes now, and hadn’t been able to figure it out. It was an elegant white dress, similar to the black one she usually wore with gold trimmings and a crimson tie.

“Oh, Miss Kirigiri. A true gambler never reveals her cards.”

“I respect that…but also tell me what you are now.”

“Haha. What would be the fun in that?”

Kirgiri just crossed her arms and huffed. _If that’s how it’s gonna be…I’ll expose the truth! NO MATTER WHAT THE COST!_

* * *

 

“The Joker, really?” Kaede asked as Rantaro emerged wearing a purple suit.

“I mean, I gotta work off the hair thing, and avocado was my last costume…” He sarcastically said back, causing Kaede to laugh, who’s eyes lit up upon seeing Maki and Shuichi emerging from the lobby.

“Oh, there’s happy couple!” She excitedly said, almost dancing over to them. “Maki your costume is great!”

“Thanks…”

“No love for me?” Shuichi asked, with a joking smile.

“No offense, Saihara, but anyone could put on a white sweater and some jeans.”

“Don’t forget the dollar twenty I shilled out for the lollipop.”

 They both broke into laughter, causing Maki to crumple into a jealous glare before recomposing herself.

“Hey, Harukawa!” Rantaros voice diverted attention from the dual protagonist’s laughter.

“What?” She spat back, more venom then intended.

“3…2…1…Let’s Ja-…. Shit…that's Cowboy Bebop”

Another show she didn’t fucking know, Jesus Christ, how many references were gonna go over her head tonight? Especially from Tsumugi, she was getting drunk on them.

“Okay class, time to go meet the other class.”

Speaking of drunk, Mr. Kizakura shifted into the lobby like a shadow. Forget what she said, he was actually surprisingly sober.

“Now, follow this way and…woah…. what ones the floor again?” Okay, maybe not entirely.

* * *

 

The ballroom was quite extravagant, Keebo noted, as he gazed around. Red silk curtains, connecting to a massive stage. Fancy tables laid out all over the place, cutlery shining like gemstones. It was magical.

“Keeeeeeeee-boy.” A harsh whisper interrupted his day dreaming. “Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-boy!”

“What?”

“Look, you need cash, I need cash…”

“I don’t remember saying tha- “

“That’s beside the point, look, I found this weird looking dude in the 78. Looking like he’s hitting that Mary Jane like his name is Peter Parker.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“He smokes weed, regardless, we, more accurately, I can scam him, but I need you to back me up.”

“Scamming someone?! Kokichi that’s wrong! What if he’s in poverty?”

“Dude isn’t, his hair upkeep probably costs more than my whole fortune. Besides, I overheard Miu the other day and she said, and I quote, “Damn, scamming people is so cool and really turns me on.”

“Ha! Like she said that…did she say that?”

Kokichi convincingly nodded his head.

“Hmph…fine, I’ll do it, but if this goes bad…”

“Don’t worry, we’re gonna be fine. Now come on, I spot their table over there!” Kokichi enthusiastically shouted, practically pulling Keebo along with him. The robot boys’ eyes scanned the table he found the “Mary Jane hitter” sitting next to a short, brunette boy and…Himiko?! He tried to come up with a decent explanation but his CPU was totally blanking on him.

“Hey, my beloved mage!” Kokichi said, letting go of Keebo and sending him flying like a runaway freight train.

“Ahh! Kokichi, you told me there’d be mana potions over here!”

“But the only mana potion was the one in my heart…wait would that be my blood?” Ouma asked, to no one in particular, but then he heard it…the sound that made his time stand still…Himikos laugh. God damn, he was like butter in a microwave after hearing that, but you think Bush got away with 9/11 by simply dodging questions? Nope, and Ouma managed to recompose himself before the magician noticed.

 _That explains it_ Keebo thought.

* * *

 

Byakuya looked up from his book. Wait…it was time to select a table? Shit! He wasn’t ready. His eyes darted around, settling on Kyokos table. Nope filled up. Then around again, he found Makoto and Yasuhiro. Yes! One free seat left (He counted the robot, the clown, the witch, and ex-stalker), he made a mad dash, until a body popped in his way, causing him to crash into her.

“Nope. You are not going over there.” There was Aoi Asahinas distinctive voice.

“And why not?”

“Because I’ve seen the way you treat Toko! You’re probably just going over there to call her a million different obscenities!”

“Oh, someone bought a thesaurus…”

” Whatever! I’m not letting you go over there. “

Her gaze was obviously unbudging, and Asahina was a legitimate Olympic competitor, he didn’t want to risk trying to go to fisticuffs with her, so reluctantly, he gazed around the room looking at tables. Eventually, he found his gaze upon one.

There was Maizono, who was fine, Kuwata, who was Yasuhiro with nothing he liked about Yasuhiro and everything he hated about Yasuhiro, Junko, who was batshit, and Mukuro, who was Toko-Lite.

From the other class, on the same table, he counted that girl who would not stop taking about anime, the big one, the short one and the masked one. Unfortunately, he could not find any other tables around so it seemed this one was the only option.

He hesitantly sat down, but immediately regretted his decision, as almost immediately, the one in the mask locked eyes with him.

“Ohh, what do we have here? Moriarti?”

“Yes…and you are?”

“Nyarlathotep.” 

“Bullshit, those are your regular clothes.” 

“He takes many forms.”

This statement visibly annoyed Byakuya, and to Junko, visible annoyance was like a bone and she had to bite it.

“Wow, now someone’s cranky.”

“Far from it Enoshima. In fact, this whole situation has me overjoyed. Now, could you please pass the salad, just because your dressed up as a communist doesn’t mean you have to act the part.”

He smirked at his own wit, but instead of laughter he was met with something so small he doubted it was a sound from Ryoma, and a hearty “kukukuku” from Kiyo. _Damn! That would’ve killed with father!_ He thought, however, he also hated his father but that was beside the point, his amazing comedy only got a laugh from the weird bondage one.

“Ahh…Gonta does not get joke. Please explain!” The larger boy spoke up from his seat sounding exactly 0% how Byakuya thought he would sound.

“Oh, you don’t want to…”

“No! No! Gonta wants to learn!”

And that’s how Byakuya spent 20 minutes of his time explaining the communist regime to someone who was mentally a 10-year-old.

* * *

 

Ouma had been searching, searching for 10 minutes know for a distraction, something that would let him talk to this guy privately but he was getting blanked. Yasuhiro was just sitting there, like a fucking rock.

 It had been 10 minutes, thoroughly past introductions, it was time to cause a distraction. Kokichi motioned to Keebo under the table, clicking his finger twice. Immediately the robot boy understood the signals and booted up his “conversation filler” program. He usually only made it to the first bonus level so Kokichi better be fast.

“So, have you guys seen that new movie…” Keebos mind raced through every possible movie playing in the area right now along with the personalities of everyone sitting down. “…Spider-Man: Far from Home?”

“Oh, yeah!” Makoto immediately said, and he was like the abacus swingy thingy, it clicked from person to person. This gave Kokichi a chance to reach into his pockets and pull out a pack of matches. He very quickly lit them up, closed one eye for a second to adjust his aim…and hit Yasuhiros pants leg.

“Yeah, Spidey can’t swing with no hands!” The clairvoyant joked.

“You’re on fire.” Makoto casually commented, looking down at his legs.

“You really think so? I thought that joke wasn’t- “

“No! Yasuhiro, your literally on fire.”

Just like Makoto, Hakagure looked down at his legs, seeing the burning sensation run up his pants. There was a long tense silence before he let out the most bloodcurdling scream you’d ever heard. If no one was able to see him, they’d think he was being stabbed.

“Oh dude, let me help you get cleaned up!” Kokichi hastily said, pushing the hysteric Yasuhiro away. _Bingo!_ He thought.

* * *

 

“Hey thanks man.” Yasuhiro said, as he washed his face with soap, freshening up before reaching the table.

“No problem… _man._ ” Kokichi managed to grit out. He felt like he was getting dumber every minute he was around this moron, but if he could get even ten bucks…okay, it was time. “Hey, you know what caused that fire.”

“Huh?”

“The fire…on your leg?”

“Oh yeah…how?”

It was at this point Kokichi closed the bathroom door and leaned in closer to Yasuhiros ear “There’s some weird force behind this school. I think you know what I mean…”

“The liberal government?”

“Nope.”

“The conservative government?!”

“Nope.”

“AHH! THE OCCULT?!”

“Bingo!”

“I fucking knew it! The occult is bullshit.”

“Yeah, yeah, I feel you. I’ve got a plan to take these guys out but I’ll need a twenty-dollar loyalty fee.” Kokichi redyed himself for the bum handing him the money…but it never came, instead, Yasuhiro started sweating profusely.

“U-Uh, l-let m-me t-think i-it o-over.” Before Kokichi could react, he rushed out of the room and back to the table.

* * *

 

Maki was never jealous. Never ever…but maybe, when she saw her boyfriend and Kaede Akamatsu having such a good time without her…maybe she was a little jealous.

They just kept quipping with each other, endlessly, it wouldn’t stop. She didn’t even get what they were saying either, it was like a foreign language to her. They were acting like they were dating but they weren’t dating, her and Shuichi were dating! Oh, this was getting her worked up, which is why she abruptly pushed her chair and out and went to get a drink. Shuichi took notice but brushed it off, it was scorching in here, maybe she just needed a soda. What really drew his attention, was the other ultimate detective sitting next to him.

“H-hey, so you’re the first u-ultimate dete-“he tried to stammer out but it was quickly silenced by the detectives icy gaze who leaned into his ear, motioning to celeste who was sitting nobly on the other side of the table next to Sakura.

“Do you know what she’s dressed as?”

“N-no, maybe…”

“YOU’RE USELESS TO ME!” She shouted, way too loudly. Kyoko then started flicking her thumb up her glove as if she was trying to light an invisible lighter, before she came up with an idea. “Okay, everyone, let’s have a roll call of what our costumes are! It’ll be a fun bonding exercise.”

Confusedly, the whole table recited their costumes, Kirigiri paying little to no attention to all of them until they got to Celeste. The gambler surveyed the scene, cogs in her mind obviously running full time before she uncrossed her legs and said…

“Entschuldigung, ich spreche kein Englisch? “

* * *

 Yasuhiro came walking back to the table like he’d shit himself, bouncing off the walls like he was made of red jello.

“Naegs, sidebar, now!”

“What?”

It was too late, as Makoto was grabbed by his neck and taken away to storage room near the back of the theatre.

“Dude! We have a mega-problem!”

“Yeah?”

“The feds have tracked me down!”

Makoto mentally added up the amount of times Yasuhiro had said this over the last year (569 fyi), before allowing him to continue.

“That little dude in the JoJo gear…he’s part of the FBI! And I bet his robo pals in on it too”

It was at this point Naegi pondered if he should call out Yasuhiros bullshit or humour him. Considering the last time, he did the former, he was treated to a 2-hour long essay about the importance of trust and how the FBI is everywhere, he thought it was the smarter move to do the latter. “Are you absolutely sure?”

This was answered by Yasuhiro trying to break his own neck with a nod. “Worst part about it, is dude, your gonna be tracked back to me!”

“Why would they do that?”

“For the cover-up.”

“Well, why would it matter? I have plausible deniability.”

“Wow! Really? How do I get it?”

“You can’t now, you already look suspicious.”

“GOD DAMN IT!”

“Look, just act casual and they won’t be able to trace you to anything…”

“Sure, sure, but if they come at me…well, it’s fight or flight!”

“No! Don’t use fight or flight.”

“Why no fight or flight?”

“It’ll compromise my plausible deniability.”

“Well why don’t I fight or flight and have plausible deniability?”

“You can’t!”

“Sure I can!”

“Whatever! This conversation is hurting my head and I have stopped recognising half the words we’re saying. Just act casual!”

Yasuhiro did not act casual.

* * *

 

Asahina felt a distinct twinge of pity looking at Fukawa picking her nails. During the first term, Fukawa spent all day either in the library or following Byakuya (very big overlap there), snapped at people regularly and was generally unpleasant to be around, but, like her Mum said, you never reach people without using your arms…that makes it sound like she’s gonna punch Toko…

“H-Hey girl…” She tries to start, causing Toko to skittishly whip her head towards her.

“W-what d-do y-you w-want?”

“Just wanted to…”

“Just wanted t-to what? I c-can tell y-you’re m-mocking me i-in y-your head!”

“What the heck?”

Toko took a deep breath and sighed “S-sorry, Makoto says I shouldn’t do that as much as I do.”

“Makoto?” Asahina replied confusingly, wondering why on earth Makoto would be talking to Fukawa at all, let alone giving her advice about personal issues. Speak of the devil, Makoto emerged from nowhere, Yasuhiro in tow.

“Hey!” He lightly said to Toko, who’s eyes very clearly lit up when she saw him.

“Hey.”

Makoto waited for Yasuhiro to take a seat and get distracted before leaning over to the writer. “He’s calling conspiracy again.” The brunette whispered, which caused Toko to giggle. Just as quickly as he appeared, Makoto was once again taken by a side-bar.

Toko sighed, turned her head to see Aoi with her mouth hanging open.

“Y-you, yo…he…You like him!” She practically screamed.

“No, No, It’s nothing like- “

“And he likes you!”

“No, that’s n-not t-tru”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Asahina started shouting with a massive smile on her face.

“S-Shut up!” Toko responded, which managed to get Asahina to quiet down. “I don’t l-like h-him! I s-swear!”. Her attempts to fool the swimmer did little to dampen the brighter girls resolve.

“Okay, _sure…”_ She said with a wink.

“N-no, r-really…”

 _“Yep, I get you.”_ The winking was intensifying.

“Y-You cow! S-stop that!”

“ _You got it!”_ At this point, the winking was causing a hole in the space time continuum.

Speaking of winks, Himiko was currently trying to get 40 in right now. Oh, how she regretted taking a spot at this table, the only girls at this table were the one that kept shooting her mean looks and the swimmer girl, who was actually pretty nice, but she sat here so she could talk to Kokichi and…

“Surprise!” Two hands gripped her shoulders, causing her to jump in fright, as the clown prince of DICE made his appearance.

“Kokichi! You should never startle a mage like that…what if I had zapped you in self-defence?”

“Then you’d go to jail and I’d go to the morgue!”

Once again, his jokes hit bullseyes with her, causing a stream of continues laughter to slip out of the magician.

“Anyways, Keeboy, you got the stuff?” He asked motioning to the robots’ hands. Keebo nodded, holding up a white sack, causing confusion to adorn Himikos features. The situation was soon re-filled with tension as Makoto and Yasuhiro came walking back to the table.

“Oh, come to pay up, finally, huh?” Kokichi teasingly said.

Yasuhiro went to open his mouth but Makoto stuck out his elbow in front of him. “You’ve got that wrong! Yasuhiro isn’t paying you a cent.”

“What are you? His lawyer? Sit down.”

“Keep standing!”

Kokichi took a moment to recompose himself before beginning to talk again.

“Look, Naegi, buddy…”

“I’m not your buddy.”

“Don’t care. If you want **your** buddy, Yasuhiro, to be safe from the clutches of the occult, all you gotta do is pay the twenty bucks.”

“Clutches of the occult my as-just realising that sounds like a hentai, but whatever! Yasuhiro isn’t paying you a cent.”

“Yeah! Not a cent!” Yasuhiro chipped in, his confidence rising again.

“Okay, be that way…but what’s to say I don’t just dob you both in to the occult.”

“AHH! WE’LL PAY YOU EVERYTHING, JUST DON’T- “

“Calm down Hiro.” Makoto reassured him. “Why would that even matter. I’ve got plausible deniability.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“About what?”

“The plausible deniability.”

“I’m one billion present sure I have plausible deniability.”

“But do you really have plausible deniability?”

“Could you both stop saying plausible deniability!” Asahina yelled over the both of them.

“Alright Makoto…” Kokichi smugly said, readjusting himself. “I just need to say one thing…KEE-BOY, GET HIM!”

Keebo confusedly looked around before saying “Kokichi I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Oh! Now you’re voicing your concerns!”

“Because the plan you set out was legally kidnapping!”

“It doesn’t matter for twenty bucks Keebo!”

“IT ABSOLUTELY DOES!”

“Oh look!” Kokichi shouted, as Yasuhiro made a mad, tear filled dash towards a dude in the black suit. That same guy’s eyes slowly turned towards the pair, before he fully turned his body around and…disappeared?

Suddenly, in a burst of wind and energy, Takumi Hijrihara appeared in front of them wielding a knife.

“Holy shit, Kee-Boy he’s packing!” Ouma shouted, before hoping on the robot boys’ shoulders. Keebo, against his better judgment, followed the supreme leaders’ directions and dashed off.

“Wow…thanks Mr. Hijrihara.” Makoto said, astonished at the sight he’d seen before him.

“Don’t sweat it, lord. Just keep the Christians of my back, kay? Peace!”

“…...Okay, what?”

* * *

 

Kirigiri was tired, she’d spent so much time on this project and still couldn’t figure out what Celeste was. 3 hours of time…down the drain. So that’s how she found herself sitting on a couch, next to Celeste drinking her tea like a…maybe she wouldn’t say it…oh no, she would, Celeste drinking her tea like a smug mother fucker.

“So…tell me, what did you go as?”

“Oh, Kirigiri, stopping so low?”

“Just tell me.”

“Welllllll, I didn’t go as anything.”

“…. What?”

“I just took a customised dress, and pretended I was going as something. Haha! Pretty clever, don’t you think? I certainly got in your head”

“…Nice tea set, what type is it?”

“Oh, it is a deluxe Swedish designed tea kit that I purchased for just over seven hundr- “

**_SMASH!_ **

* * *

 

“Maki, hey, Maki, wait up!” Shuichi said, as he saw his girlfriend in the distance. He hadn’t seen her all night and was simply curios to where she had been.

“What do you want?” She coldly said back, barley giving him eye contact.

“H-hey…are you mad about something?”

“I don’t know, am I?”

Shuichi sighed. When Maki got mad or annoyed she became what she liked to refer to as a “hostile witness”. That means she would answer every question with another question.

“Okay, you wanna go back to my dorm?”

“I don’t know, **do I**?”

Despite the assassin’s response, she took a walk with him to the dorm, where she plopped down on his bed, purposely extending her limbs so that he couldn’t sit anywhere.

“What’s got you heated?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you ask your best friend Kaede?”

“She’s your best friend…wait, is this because I wasn’t paying enough attention to you?”

“No! Shuichi, I’m not a 5-year-old, I can go without your gracious presence for 10 minutes”

Well, at least she’d gone out of hostile witness mode.

“Look it’s just that, we’re dating and all but…I don’t know you very well.” Instead of the venomous tone her voice usually carried, Makis words were laced with an unmissable tone of vulnerability. “We kinda skipped the whole “being friends” phase and went straight to…you know….” Makis words were getting softer the more she was talking. “Just forget it okay, I was being stupid.” She finally snapped.

“No, you weren’t.” Shuichi replied, causing Harukawas facial features to turn upward to him. “You’re completely right, we haven’t really known each other for that long compared to everyone else, but Maki, I like you **more** than everyone else”

This comment, caused the Assassins cheeks to fill with blush. “Well we still haven’t gone out anywhere, and I haven’t met your parents or…”

“Oh my god! Maki I’m so, so sorry. It slipped my mind that we had to...”

“It’s fine.” The warmth in Makis face was seemingly transferred to her smile. “You wanna go out this weekend.”

“Yeah! Totally!” Shuichi said a bit too excitedly, causing Maki to laugh and the detective to blush. With that, Harukawa stood up and stomped over to Shuichi who mistook the action as a threat due to her intense walking.

“Wait, Harukawa! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sor-Huh?” He exclaimed as she wrapped him in a weirdly soft embrace.

“I really like you.” She whispered, blush starting up once again.

“I really like you as well…And you know what I just realized?”

“What?”

“The height difference between me and you is the exact same as the one between you and Kokichi.” He stated confidently.

“…. Okay, now you’re fucking dead.” 

Shuichis confidence very quickly went away.

                        

 

 

 

 


	34. Parents II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajimes off to meet his girlfriends parents, but he's harbouring more then just happiness for the day.

The air of tension filled Mahirus room, as she nervously waited for the sound of her dad’s car in the driveway. Her Mum was visiting for the first time since she’d enrolled at Hopes Peak and she couldn’t be more on edge. She’d waited 24 months for this moment, and couldn’t believe it was finally happening.

The sound of screeching tires in the driveway performed a mental hit and run on her train of thought. She immediately straightened her dress out and went bolting down the door.

With sweaty palms, she opened the door and saw her Mum and Dad talking on about old times. Mahirus father recently got a job at a glass factory, doing manual labour. It wasn’t much but at least he wasn’t unemployed like before. On the flipside of this however, he looked just as roughed up and dishevelled as before which was streaking contrast to her mother, who was elegant and beautiful, long flowing red hair reaching her hips. The older women’s eyes widened as she saw Mahiru step out the door and she immediately floored her daughter with a bone crushing hug.

“There’s my little girl!” She said, almost teary eyed.

“C’mon Mum, I’m almost as tall as you now.” The photographer tried to sassily say back, but it was for naught as her emotions betrayed her tone. They sat there for a good minute, with no words, as Mahiru watched the sunset in the sky.

“Well, then, what’s for dinner” Mahirus mother said, breaking the hug to get her keys.

From there, it was almost like Mahiru had travelled back in time. It felt so good to have her family whole again. Her father set up his records and her parents danced (to which she pulled a gross out face) but the sound of a cell phone ringing brought her back to reality.

If it had been anyone else, she might’ve considered letting it go to voicemail but not for him. The name on the Caller ID read “Hajime Hinata” (Mahiru liked to keep her contacts completely organised.) She looked up to find both her parents were looking at her confused.

“Uhhhh…sorry, I’ve gotta take this…. it’s for school.” She mumbled out an excuse, before bolting up the stairs and into her room.

“Hey…” She said with a click of the "accept" button, blushing almost automatically (she really couldn’t control it around him).

“Hey, how’s it going?” He said through the other end.

“How’s what going?”

“Your Mum coming back, duh! You were buzzing about it all Friday, I actually saw you zooning out during class.”

“No…that’s not…I was just…”

“Wow, you are such a girlscout.” He said sarcastically, causing Mahiru to make a fake pouting face, even though he couldn’t see it.

“Am not!”

Her voice caused a genuine chuckle to echo through the screen, which almost infectiously transferred to her as well.

“Anyway…” She continued “I should probably get back to them now.”

“Oh! They’re still up? I’m so sorr- “

“Don’t worry about it. The real question is, why are you still up?”

“I’m at my parents place, why wouldn’t I be?” Mahiru regretted what she said immediately. She knew something was off with the Hinata household, but she still hadn’t been told exactly what was wrong. It was always a sore spot and would continually put Hajime in a bad mood when it was brought up. It made her feel awful about all the times she complained about having a dead bet father.

“Do you think you’ll be at your dorm tomorrow?” The red-head asked.

“Yeah, of course I will, anything to get out of here.” His tone made her flinch, but she got back on track.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

There was a distinctive sharp beep, as Mahiru clicked the end call button and sat up from her bed, giving a small yawn.

“ ” I Love you” huh?” A voice from behind Mahiru caused her to jump in shock. She whipped her head around a saw her Mum standing there with a shit-eating grin plastered all over her face. “Who was that?” She asked, one eye open.

“N-n-no one! Just a f-f-friend f-from s-school.”

“A friend or a _boy_ friend?”

As much as she tried to hide it, the photographers worried face gave it away.

“Okay fine, it’s a boy I’m seeing but whatever you do, _don’t tell Dad._ He’d flip if he knew I was going out with a guy.”

“Sure, on one condition.” Her mother sadistically grinned as her daughters’ face fell. “I want to meet this boy. I’m here for one more night, if he can come over to dinner tomorrow that would be just lovely. Your fathers will be at work so he wouldn’t even know, provided your man leaves early enough”

Mahiru grimaced but hesitantly agreed. Guess she’d tell Hajime at the dorms tomorrow.

* * *

 

Hiking and nature walks were never Nagito or Kazuichis forte or really something either of the students considered not boring, but when Gundham announced he was going on one to collect magical specimens, they both decided to go for different reasons. Nagito, because of Chiakis urging that he should go out with friends that weren’t Hajime and Kazuichi because of reasons he was explaining to the Luckster…

“Dude, I’m just in it so I can find some stuff.”

“Oh, like artefacts?”

“Hahaha…no. Anyway, you know anywhere on this trail we can find pot?”

“Bed, Bath and Beyond.”

“Jesus, Nagito, I’m talking about weed.”

“Ohhhhhhh, well we’re going pretty far into the woods, maybe we’ll find some.”

“My companions!” Gundhams voice came booming out the halls “It is time for us to leave!”

* * *

 

Hesitantly, Mahiru made a casual knock on Hajimes door, who answered immediately.

“Oh…hey!” He said, smile brightening as soon as he realised it was Koizumi.

“Uh, C-can I come in?”

“Yeah, sure.” Hajime extended the door with his other arm, letting Mahiru enter. His room was surprisingly clean for a man’s, she noted as she looked around.

“So, what did you want to talk about anyway?”

“Would it be alright if y-you…came over to dinner tonight?”

“What? I thought you didn’t want to tell your par- “

“I didn’t! My Mum just overheard me talking to you on the phone last night.”

Hajime visibly winced remembering how that phone call had been so “lovey-dovey”. At least it wasn’t anything explicit….

“Yeah, I can go.”

“Okay! Great, now let’s go over how you have to act, sit, eat…”

A wave of immediate regret hit Hajime as he realised he would have to scrap all his plans for the next 2 hours.

* * *

 

“Ahh, another rare specimen!” Gundham said, clipping something that just looked like normal grass to Nagito and Kazuichi. It had been 30 minutes since they’re trail started but the end was looking to finally be in sight.

“I’ve collected enough for the day, let us leave.” The breeder stated, looking up from his collecting. The trio recomposed themselves and set out to leave…before realising they didn’t know which way they came.

“Hey, Gundham, what direction did we come from?”

“I’m trying to figure that out, sidekick of steel.”

“That’s a new one.” Kazuichi murmured, not quite knowing how to feel about being called Gunchams sidekick.

“Oh, I know how to find our way back!” Nagito exclaimed, drawing a compass in the dirt. “Wait…that didn’t work last time.” The lucksters eyes started to shift and he hastily covered the compass with dirt.

“Well, let me just call up Mioda, her expert hearing will probably be able to hear us from miles…oh, I’ve forgotten my cellular phone…. Kazuichi?” A small sense of panic was raised in his voice.

“Don’t worr-shit, mines dead, Komaeda?”

“Don’t have mine.”

“Well, how the fuck are we gonna get out?” Kazuichi screamed, panic overtaking his face.

“Don’t worry, we’ve just gotta try and create our own self-governed society like Lord of the Flies! How did that go in the book again?”

“They all killed each other.”

“Oh…”

* * *

 

“So, Hajime show me how you are supposed to be properly postured.” Mahiru asked matter-of-factly, shutting both eyes opening them to reveal…Hajime slumped down in a chair.

“What?” She asked, visibly annoyed.

“Mahiru, we’ve been at this for half an hour. If she’s not going to like me, she’s not going to like me.”

His bluntness caught her off guard and caused her face to fall.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…she’s a really big figure in my life and I’m really nervous she won’t like you, she should but what if she doesn’t, I wouldn’t know…” The photographer’s tangent was broken as she realised Hajime had stood up and walked over to her.

“Koizumi…I get why you’re nervous but seriously, you’re talking about me like I wasn’t the biggest stick-in-the-mud for almost the whole first year.”

“That’s true…” She conceded. “I guess I kinda distanced “reserve course” you from “current” you.”

“See, now you get it. You always call me the only other sane person in the school, I **can** act like an adult.”

“Yeah I know…” Mahiru said, still looking down at her hands.

“So just trust me with this, I guarantee I won’t let you down.”

While his speech did little to qualm her nerves, Mahiru still thought it was a sweet that Hajime was trying this hard.

* * *

 “The first meeting is at hand!” Gundham announced, slamming a rock he’d found on the ground as a make shift gavel. “Our goals for today will be water, food and trying to reach civilisation. Meeting adjourned!”.

Nagito had spotted a particularly nice-looking banana just dangling off a tree. He was sure if he picked that one, he might be able to climb the tree fully and search for Hopes Peak among the forest ranges.

“Hey! Nagito.” Kazuichi harshly whispered from behind him, prompting the white-haired boy to look back. “Dude, we gotta do something about Gundham.”

“What?”

“He’s obviously power tripping.” Gundham had literally been talking for 10 seconds. “What’s to say, you and me form an alliance? That way both of us are protected!” Kazuichi stated with a smile. Nagito measured the pros and cons. Cons: Kazuichi was completely incorrect and obviously trying to use him. Pros: At least he’d prove useful to an ultimate!

“Yeah, sure! That sounds like a great idea.”

* * *

 The dinner table was tense as Mahiru and her mother sat eye to eye, waiting for Hajime to arrive. As much as she tried to hide it, the older women were almost as nervous as Mahiru herself. Her daughter was at that age where boys of the more “edgy” type seemed more and more appealing and after looking at the class profiles she got from the first term of Mahirus school year, none of those men were a good look.

A sharp “Ding-dong” broke the silence, and Mahiru quickly made a spring for the door. Upon her ears, her mother heard some pleasantries thrown around but was not expecting what came next…

Through the hallway emerged a boy, dressed up in a black suit and tie, brown hair, nice posture…wait, she didn’t recognise his face from the sheet.

“Hey, I’m Hajime Hinata.” His voice took her out of her own train of thought and back into reality.

“I’m Aika Koizumi. Nice to meet you.” She said, trying to not let on to the fact that she was **very** surprised about Hajimes appearance. In between a short silence, there was a very loud “god damn it” and the climatic sound of the door shutting before Mahiru came dashing down the hall.

“Hey, this is- “

“Hajime, I know.” Aika cut her off. “Well then, let’s get on with it, have a seat.”

* * *

 

 _An Alliance, BAH!_ Gundham thought, as he carefully laid his totem. While Nagitos deception had been smooth as silk, Kazuichi had been less than subtle about his backstabbing ways, which is why Gundham decided to play a little prank on them.

 _A dash of white vinegar over here will do the job_. He thought, as he took a small vial from his scarf and poured it over the totem. As the sun set beamed through the trees, he gazed upon his handiwork…. before lighting a match and setting the whole thing ablaze.

From this point, he crouched down at the centre, perched on one knee. As if on cue, the other two boys came bolting out of the forest to see what was going on.

“Tanaka…WHAT THE HELL!” Kazuichi shouted.

“BASK IN THE GLOW OF MY ETERNAL FIRE FOR I HAVE EVOLVED…I AM NO LONGER THE ASTRAL LORD OF THE SEVENTH PLANE, I AM THE RISING PHOENIX GOD OF INFINITY UNLIMITED FLAME!” With that, Gundham set off his “astral bombs” (fireworks he’d crafted from different minerals in the dirt) scattering flames and sparks all over the place.

“So, the alliance might’ve been a bad idea.” Nagito thought aloud.

* * *

 

“So, what’s your talent Hajime?”

“I’m the Super High School Level Ace Attorney.”

“That last part is so stupid.” Mahiru butted in.

“Look, I really like Phoneix Wright and now I get to be Phoneix Wright in real life!” He responded jokingly causing Mahiru to start giggling.

“It’s strange Hajime, I didn’t see you on the class sheet I got last year.” Aika said, steering the conversation back on topic.

“Oh yeah, I was in the reverse course for a majority of the first year, only transferred into the main class during the last term.”

Mahirus eyes grew bigger, as she remembered that day that he first transferred.

* * *

 

_“Hello class, we have a new student transferring in from the reserve course, Hajime Hinata!” Chisa over-excitedly announced, waving her hands around. Mahiru was barley paying attention instead talking to Hiyoko but her eyes gazed over at the new kid for a second and widened._

_“Wow, he looks professional.” She though to herself. Apparently, he was a friend of Chiakis and even more surprisingly, friends with Nagito._

_“Hinata!” Nagito said enthusiastically waving. As much as he was creepy, she found Nagito…weirdly endearing, especially due to his intelligence. He was smart and cunning, he just didn’t show it._

_That Hinata boy smiled a massive smile and quickly sat next to him._

_“Can you believe we’re in the same class, Hinata?!”_

_“I know! I didn’t think I ever reach here.” There was something about him but Mahiru couldn’t quite put her finger on the pulse. There was some sort of connection between him and her, she could feel it. It was like they were operating on exactly the same frequencies._

_Then suddenly, he spun around, green-on-green as his eyes met hers. She blushed almost instinctively but it quickly died down._

_“Hey! I’m Hajime, obviously…” He motioned up to Chisa who was still celebrating at the blackboard“ Nice to met you.” And with that, he extended his hand._

* * *

 

“BOW TO THE FIRE LORD!” Gundham screamed insanely. He wasn’t doing this because he was scared they’d never make it back to hopes peak, he was doing this because _it had been 5 hours and they still hadn’t made it back to hopes peak._

“Gundham, dude! Do you know how much this jumpsuit costs?” Kazuichi said, patches of sot covering him.

“IT IS IRRELEVANT TO A HIGHER DIVINITY! NOW WITNESS MY FINAL MOVE: EXCELLENT BONE HILATION SHINING BRIGHT LILLY WHITE SPECTRE OF TORMENT 100% FULL COWLING CAROUSEL OF LASERS, LIGHT SPEED, BACK TO THE FUTURE, BACK TO THE FUTURE 2, I DIDN’T LIKE BACK TO THE FUTURE 3 I FEEL THE LOVE PLOT WAS FORCED, ELECTRO BOOGALOO DIVINE PASSION-”

“Uh, Kazuichi?”

“What?!”

“SPIT ROASTED, CALIFORNIA RAISINS, INCINERATOR FROM THE HELLSCAPE-”

“I’m f-felling kinda d-dizzy”

“Komaeda? Nagito, dude, stay with me!”

“REGAL RED, SLEEK, JET BONED, TOM CRUISE WAS FANTASTIC IN MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, HIGHER EXISTENCE GALAXY WARPINGGGGG- “

“S-smoke inhalllaa- “Nagito was already on jelly legs but he finally tipped over into the bushes.

“NAGITO! NO!”

“DESTRUCTOR WARPED DISC OF MASS CALAMITY BASTION WAS OVERRATED, TRANSITOR WAS BETTER, ULTIMATE SPAMATIC FLASH BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-“

Nagito looked out of the bushes to see a road. He almost recognised this road, it was like the one he came to school from, with the bushes next to it and the sandy path and the big school building…wait…

“There’s hopes peak!” Nagitos voice came out from the bushes.

“Huh?” The ball of energy disappeared in Gundhams hands, as if it was popped by the other boy’s words.

“Nagito, the smoke gotten into your brain or something?” Kazuichi stated looking confused.

“No really, come look!”

The two other boys made a casual stroll to where Nagito was pushing himself off from and, against all odds, there it was. The hopes peak building sitting there, just as they all new it.

The trio stepped out of the patch of forest and looked at each other.

“Well…I imagine apologises are in order. I am sorry for attempting to burn down the forest.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry for trying to overseat your tiny amount of power as leader.”

“And I’m sorry for…I’m not really sure, but I’m sure I did something wrong, so I’m also sorry.”

All three exploded mutual laughter over the insane situation, and set off on their way back to the school.

* * *

 

Impressive. That was the one word that stood out to Aika. Hajime was very _impressive._ He had a good head on his shoulders, was absolutely charming and showered her daughter in subtle affection all night. If this is who Mahiru wanted to associate with, she was more than fine with it.

Speaking of the two, Hajime was just on his way out when a framed photo took his gaze.

“Hey, Mahiru, what’s the story behind this?”

The photographer snapped over to his finger and saw his eyes fallen upon a picture of a centipede sitting on a leaf with a rain droplet next to it, in an earthy green frame.

“Oh, that was the first real picture I ever took!” Mahirus smile continued to brighten as the story went on. “My Mum wrapped me in this big hug and told me how proud she was, I went to the store and picked the frame and developed the film and did everything myself. It’s nothing special though, I’m sure we all have memories like that, don’t you?” Her mouth moved before her mind, and the tinge of regret hit her tongue as soon as those words were spoken, punctuated by the incredibly sadden gaze Hajime gave her.

“I’m sor- “

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” He put on a smile, but it was ridiculously fake. “I better be going, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, probably.”

With that, Hajime clicked the door nob and walked out of the house, leaving Mahiru standing there, staring at the photo. Maybe she’d seem him earlier than tomorrow…

“Well, well, well, you’ve done well Mahiru. He’s a keeper.” Aika said, walking through the hallway.

“I think so too.” She said dreamily before the idea popped back into her mind. “Is it okay if I don’t go to the airport with you guys?”

“Hmmm?”

“It’s j-just…he’s going through some family issues right now…or always has, I don’t really know, and I just feel he needs someone to talk to about it.”

Instead of the disappointing look she expected, her mother broke out into a big smile. “And last time I left, you were crying at the airport gate.”

“Just barley! Besides, I have him and Dad and all my friends now.”

“Oh, and you used to be such a Mummys girl! This is a startling development Mahiru Koizumi!” She teasingly said.

In around an hour, Mahirus dad arrived home from work. They had one more hour left of reminiscing and catching up before her Dad went out front to ready up the car leaving Aika and Mahiru in the living room, before she knew it, Mahiru was wrapped up in another embrace.

“Be good while I’m gone okay?”

“Hey! It’s been two years since you last left and I think I’ve done pretty okay since then.”

“You certainly have. Keep hanging around that boy and nothing but good will come from it. He’s amazing, your amazing, your pictures are amazing. I love you”

With that, a small tear dripped from Mahirus eye.

“See, I knew you couldn’t have gone the whole time without at least one”

Mahiru laughed, rubbing her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know…I love you too Mum.”

Without another word, they left the couch together and Mahiru waved goodbye to the car as it pulled out the driveway. She waved and waved and waved until her arm was sore but then all that was left was the silence as she looked at the nights sky. Without skipping a beat, she rushed up stairs, gathered up some pyjamas, her purse and toiletries and rushed out the door to the nearest train stop. It was a glum feeling, knowing she wouldn’t see her Mum for another four months, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as last time, where she cried into her pillow for almost an hour (she timed it).

“ _Next stop: Hopes Peak”_

She was so glad Chisa had lobbied so hard to get a train stop for the school, it upped her productivity by, like, one thousand. She dashed through into the main building, from there into the dorms (sharing a nice chat with Mikan) before reaching his room. A sharp knock from her drew footsteps before the door knob clicked and Hajime poked his head out.

“Oh!” Visible surprise was seen on the former reserve courses face. “I thought you were at the airport.”

“I should be but my mum let me stay here so I could talk to you about…problems”

“Why would you want to…” His face clicked with sudden realisation. “Mahriu, really, it’s nothin-”

“HAJIME HINATA!” The decibel range around them suddenly shot up drastically. “I did not stand up my Mother leaving the country to be told that everything’s fine, when it clearly isn’t, and if your gonna keep moping about it, then you have to tell me…please just let me in” _And she extended her hand._

As Mahirus speech concluded, the silence continued and she was just about to snap at him again.

“I was a mistake.” Hajime said, not looking her in the eye.

“What…Hajime, a lot of people tend to think they are but if they just ask thei- “

“My mother told me to my face I was.” Mahirus eyes widened. “And my parents aren’t good people like yours. My dad took his ball and went home as soon as I was born, my Mum pretends I don’t exist 90% of the time. My step-dads kinda cool but he and my mum split up fast, so he’s only around every 3 days…fucking pathetic isn’t it? Closest thing I have to family is a guy who I barley even know…”

Whatever Mahriu was expecting, she certainly wasn’t expecting that. She walked over to him and sat down.

“Wow…that’s awful.”

“You can say that again.” He murmured.

“But…I really like you and so does the rest of our class and…”

“Mahiru, I get it.” A sombre smile appeared on his face. “It’s just hard knowing you’ll never have that safety net of a family.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, almost instinctively “I shouldn’t have invited you ov- “

“Don’t apologise.” Hajime insisted. “I had fun tonight, really.” His placed his hand on top of hers.

“My mum really liked you, by the way. She said you were amazing.”

“See I told you I could impress her.”

“Okay, Mr.Showboat. You know you could’ve- mmmm! “

His lips crashed into hers. It was their first, and Mahiru was taken completely by surprise. Eventually they both broke for air.

“Give me a heads up first, geez!” Mahiru said, profusely blushing, although it’s not like the boy to her left wasn’t.

“S-sorry.”

Despite all this the link between their hands never broke

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck, this was way longer than I thought it'd be. Didn't think this one would crack 1,000 but it did. I'mma do a fic on Hajimes parents later.


	35. Ocean Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himiko doesn't like Ouma and Ouma doesn't like Himiko! Honestly!

Himikos train of thought was a mess right now, she absolutely couldn’t focus on this work for the life of her. She’d been sitting at her bed looking over the sheet for the last 45 minutes but all she could think about was… _Uso dayo!_

Ahh! She didn’t know why he was occupying her valuable thought time so much. Kokichi was nothing but mean to her, all the time. He mercilessly picked on her, constantly annoyed her and all her friends and yet whenever she was around him she got all hot and bothered while not just yesterday he had grabbed her hat and held it over her head.

“Himiko! Time for dinner!” Her mum called out.

“Coming!” She shouted back, managing to cram him out of her thoughts for the time being at least.

* * *

 

It was one day before the start of homeroom when she noticed Kokichi staring at the back of her head.

“What do you want?”

“Oh? Nothing…just admiring how beautiful you are.”

“Nyeh?” Himikos face turned into a bright red flush.

“Ha! Got you all riled up! That was a lie!”

“Hmph!”

Oumas attention diverted from her to the entrance as Keebo came walking through the entrance.

“Kee-boy!”

“Hey, Ouma…” Keebo said, his condescending tone betraying the face he was trying to pull.

“What...Oh fuck off!” Kokichi replied, finally getting the meaning of what he was saying.

“Sad to say, your boys not making it to Wrestle Kingdom.”

“He totally is! Bumpy start’s all. Watch him beat Sanada next round and get a win streak.”

“ _Whatever you say…”_

“He is!”

Himiko was very confused, which Ouma clearly picked up on.

“It’s pro wrestling. I’m arguing Tetsuya Naito is so going to win the G1 Climax, make it to the Tokyo dome and- “

“Wrestle against Makabe, Taguchi and Nakanishi in an undercard tag match.” Keebo interrupted.

“Shut up! He’s main eventing for sure! Tell him Himiko.”

“Wrestlings gross.”

“God damn it!”

* * *

 

Late night project sessions were the worst Himiko thought, as she lay on the couch, half asleep. Her group consisted off Shuichi, Rantaro and, surprise, surprise, Kokichi, who was leaning on the couch leg.

“C’mon guys, let’s work just 30 more minutes on this” Shuichi said, pen in mouth.

“Or, we can finish it off tomorrow morning and go clubbing.” Rantaro suggested.

“I’m all for clubbing.” Kokichi piped up from down on the floor.

“No, c’mon guys, this is a team effort, we need all hands-on deck here.”

“You know what else is a team effort?” Kokichi asked.

“*sigh* Clu- “

“Clubbing!”

“We’re not going clubbing Kokichi, you don’t even look 14, let alone 18.”

“Touche” The supreme leader said in reluctance, lying back down. 30 minutes later, the project was almost finished.

“Just need to print it out and we’re all good!” Rantaro said, with a triumphant click of the mouse. “Let’s pack it up guys, don’t want Yukizome to find us face down in a pool of our own spit.”

“That was one time.” Shuichi murmured, following the green haired boy out the door. Himiko was in hot pursuit until Kokichis slender figure blocked her path.

“What do you want, Kokichi?”

“Nothing much. Just wanting to see if you want to blow this joint and have a looksie around town.”

“B-but it’s almost after curfew”

“Who cares? Like they’d catch us. And what’d we get anyway? A slap on the wrist?”

“Slaps on the wrist hurt too ya know?” This statement visibly annoyed Kokichi, and he very quickly turned his back on her.

“Fine then, thought you were cool. Besides, this was a lie anyway.” He said, trying to act casual and not like he was throwing a mental tantrum. A romantic night out with the boy she liked? How could she not accept?! He stormed back to his room and hastily chucked the covers on himself. He hated going to bed angry but this time he’d make an exception. Slowly, his eyes started to shut and the sound of ocean waves got louder and louder.

Himiko, meanwhile was left in a conundrum. Because she didn’t want to risk punishment by going out on the street a nigh time, he acted like a jerk? No! She was not having that. She didn’t…entirely despise Kokichi…oh, she was kidding herself, she had a crush on Kokichi but he can’t just act like a dick all the time without getting yelled at.

She walked up to his dorm, and placed a loud knock on his door to no response. She tried again, once again nothing until she grasped the door knob and realized it was unlocked.

“Stupid…” She said, her curiosity peaked, wandering into his room. She looked around to see his decorations, finding nothing expect some Spanish words she couldn’t read but what immediately drew her attention was his shifting body. At first, she thought he was sub consciously uncomfortable, but eventually his murmurs became tangible and she realized something was not right.

“Ahh…No...” His words became pained and aching as he reached around himself, desperately trying to grab at something.

“Kokichi…” She said nervously, shutting the door so no one else could hear.

“Nonononono…umph…”

“Kokichi!” She took a few steps closer hoping he could hear her.

“I don’t want to…no!”

“KOKICHI!” She said, grabbing onto him.

“AHH!” He shot up like a water spout, almost knocking himself back out on the wall. “Himiko? What the fuck are you doing in my room?!”

“Your door was unlocked…”

“Doesn’t give you any right to come into my room like a creepy stalker!”

“But you were freaking out!” She yelled back.

“Wait what?”

“You were going all like this.” She waved her hands around for dramatic effect.

“Oh…” His tone went weirdly grim, but it also caused him to slow down and before either of them knew it, he let out a yawn and mumbled:

“is noting Himk, rall- “before collapsing on her shoulder. The magician blushed at the sudden contact. What a jerk! Making her feel awkward like this, she shoved his limp body off of hers, and rearranged her clothes, but then she too felt the insistence of a sleep clawing at her brain.

If she was being honest, she could’ve made it back to her room and into her bed, but staying here and being near him felt…nice, so she gave herself up to the dark overtaking her mind and passed out on the opposite side of his bed.

 

 

 


	36. Makoto, Yasuhiro and The Search For The Werewolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yasuhiro and Makoto conclude Mukuro might be more than she seems.

Makoto walked through the halls content as could be. Sun shining on the perfectly shined floor, students getting to class, one of the cute upperclassmen even smiled at him! Today was going to be great he thought…until he felt a hand grab at his hoddie and pull him into a storage closet.

“Makoto! Dude, you’re not going to believe what I found!” Yasuhiro immediately started blabbering on, not even giving the luckster a chance to compose himself.

“Slow down, Hiro.”

“Oh, sorry man. Anyway, Ikusaba is a werewolf! I’m 100% sure.”

“Woah, that’s a bit of a jump.”

“No, no, no, no! Think about it…wolf tattoo.”

“Wolf tattoo?”

“Wolf tattoo!”

“Why would a werewolf have a werewolf tattoo?”

“Uh……”

“Exactly. Do you have anything else?”

“…. Black hair.”

“What?”

“She has black hair, werewolf usually have black hair”

“Werewolves” Naegi corrected.

“Pretty sure it’s werewolf for plural.”

“Whatever! What else do you have?”

“I mean, Naegs, come on. She survived being a merc, fighting in a million battles- “

“Think your highballing there”

“And not a single scratch? Come on, werewolf regen would do wonders.”

As much as Makoto wanted to doubt another one of Yasuhiros conspiracy theories, he couldn’t deny, it made more sense than Kirigiri being a succubus (Conspiracy Number 32-A), Aoi being a succubus (Conspiracy Number 32-B), Toko being a suc…okay, it was just the only conspiracy theory he had that didn’t involve someone being a succubus or liberal.

“Fine, let’s investigate.”

“Sweet!”

“But Mukuros a good friend, so if we get in deep- “

“You’re willing to take the fall so she doesn’t kill me, yep got it.”

“No! That’s not what I me- “

“Meet you in my dorm in five! Don’t be late or your kicked off the squad!”

* * *

 

Yasuhiros room was a dump and Makoto regretted everything about this. The older boy had every light sourced turned off, the only sense of brightness coming into his room was the pushed down blinds. It smelt of weed and edibles which, along with the weirdly damp carpeting (Makoto was afraid to ask what it was), created an unpleasant experience.

“Dude, don’t open my closest.” Yasuhiro said, not looking over from a small pamphlet he was wearing.

“I’m wasn’t going to.”

“I’m serious, don’t open it!”

“Well know I kinda want to open it.” Makoto replied, curiosity almost taking over.

“Don’t!” He skimmed over a few pages, before slamming the book altogether. “Anyway, look, I’ve got a few ideas. This pamphlet says silver is the biggest weakness werewolves have, so I need to find some casual way to exploit that”

* * *

 

“Hey Mukuro!” Yasuhiro said, “casually” strolling over to her desk.

“What do you want?”

“Oh, just saying hi is all!” The clairvoyant insisted, placing his arm on the table. His sleeve had been rolled up to reveal a silver watch.

“Well…. Hi?” The soldier said, confusedly.

“Hi.” Yasuhiro replied back. Every so subtly moving his arm closer to Mukuros face. Makoto, who was watching from his desk, just wanted to crawl up and die, from second hand embarrassment. After his results lead little effect, Yasuhiro intensified his movements manically shaking his arm at her. This only succeeded in further confusing the girl until Yasuhiro finally lightly slapped her across the face with it.

**_Slam!_ **

Mukuro grabbed Yasuhiros arm and slammed it onto the table viciously.

“What the fuck are you thinking?!”

“AH! AH! I’M SORRY, I’M SORRY!”

* * *

 

“Catastrophic failure.” Naegi said, in response to Yasuhiro bandaging his arm. “C’mon man, it obviously didn’t work, let’s just give it up.”

“No! Naegs, I’m not convinced just yet. Besides, there’s actually a specialist on mythological creatures in the 79th, we’re meeting with him in the library in 5’, look snappy!” Yasuhiro said, quickly dashing off to meet this mysterious person.

The brunette made his own way to the library, pushing open the creaky wooden door to reveal Yasuhiro standing next to a lanky man in a hat, wearing a face mask.

“Oh hey, I know you! You’re Korekiyo right?”

“My formal address is Korenthin Kiyo, the 77th and Last Bishop of Whiterune.”

Naegi went wide eyed at the relazation that he’d have to repeat that same form of address every time he said the guys name.

“I’m only joking, of course, Korekiyo is correct.” The man chuckled to himself. “Now, you wanted to learn more about Werewolves?”

“Wolf.” Yasuhiro replied.

“Hmm?”

“Werewolf is the plural.”

“I believe that’s incorrect.”

“No, check your book, the werewo- “

“Guys, can we stay on topic?”

“Most certainly. So, you suspect your classmate is a werewolf?”

“Yep!” Yasuhiro said, certain.

“Well then, it’s important to stake out their natural habitat.”

“Well, we only see Mukuro in class days and she seems pretty out of her habitat around people- “ Makoto started to explain.

“No, Mister Naegi, you are mistaken. You must sneak into her dorm and watch for the transformation.”

Makoto let out a massive gulp at the idea.

“B-but, how are we even going to get into her dorm?”

“Well…” Korekiyo stated, reaching into a small satchel next to his legs and retrieving a massive binder book, scrolling through the plastic pockets which were filled with keys.

“Okay, how did you get those?”

“Ikusaba, Ikusaba…” He asked to himself, completely ignoring Makotos pleas, pointing his index finger at different keys until finally settling on one. “Hmmm, there!” 

* * *

 

They were really lucky Mukuro had a massive cupboard at the side of her room, no doubt one of the fruits of Junkos modelling career, but despite the cabinets sheer size, Makoto and Yasuhiro had still struggled to squeeze both of them into the top row.

“Damn, Naegs, the blankets in here are cashmere.”

“Yeah, there really high quality.” The luckster replied. “Hey, Yasuhiro?”

“Hmm?” The clairvoyant responded, still enamoured with the softness of the covers.

“Does this make us perverts?”

“Oh…I see, you wanna keep loyal to Toko right?”

“WHAT?! No, no, no, no, nono, no…just don’t wanna get suspended.”

“We’re probably gonna get suspended.”

“What?!”

“I mean staking out a girl’s dorm with a replica key, that’s a bad look, but isn’t it worth it for the story?”

“No!”

Suddenly, the pair heard the click of the doorknob, and Makoto found a hand placed over his mouth, despite the fact he’d already stopped talking.

“She’s here!” Yasuhiro loudly said, attempting to whisper. Makoto made a small hand signal of acknowledgement. “What does that sign mean?”. Makoto sighed, and held a thumbs up.

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

Makoto once again made a motion, this time meaning “stop talking” but the small click of his elbow joint apparently made an excellent conversation starter for Yasuhiro.

“You have clicky bones.”

“I do not!”

“Yeah, you do.”

“No, I don’t!”

“You see? Your waving your arms around all flustered like, all I hear is “click, click, click!” You might have a bone disease.”

“Oh shit, how do I cure a bone disease?”

“Milk!”

“Milk isn’t going to cure a bone disease.”

“Nuh-uh, my grandfather had a bone disease, he drank a few glasses of milk and he was good to go.”

“He was taking something stronger than milk.”

“No, I, swear all he took was milk.”

“Well, where is he now?”

“Dead.”

“AHEM!” A stronger voice than both of theirs interrupted as the duo looked over to see the cupboard had been opened and an angered Mukuro standing there.

“How long have you been listening?” Makoto quickly asked.

“Clicky bones.” She responded, deadpan.

“Well…haha, I best be going now, hat’s off to you.” Yasuhiro said, daintily stepping out of the cupboard and tip toeing across the room, tipping his invisible hat. Makoto tried to follow him but Mukuros hand on his collar stopped him.

“Makoto, you know if…” She didn’t know what she was doing, but Junko said she had to be assertive! _That’s how you’ll win over the punk_ Her sister had told her. “you want to stay over in my dorm, I wouldn’t be opposed.” She even gave a teasing wink just like the fashionista had told her too.

“Uh, uh…wow, uh…hmm…uh” The clearly flustered Makoto mentally tried to gather himself, but Mukuro was like a baby smashing down his tower of building blocks. “I-I-I h-have…. uh, h-homew-or…bone disease, I need to t-take c-care of bone disease.”

Without a second breath, he broke her grip and rushed out of the room, as far as his feet would carry him.

* * *

 

“SEE, NAEGS, HOW DID SHE FIND US?”

Makoto clearly knew (Yasuhiro not understanding what a thumbs up was) but was so stunned from the moments before, he chose to humour his friend instead.

“H-how?”

“Her canine sense of smell! It’s the only possible explanation!”

“Y-yeah, t-that makes sense.”

“Hey, something wrong? You seem a bit scrambled man.”

“Oh, it’s nothing, just…I think Mukuro m-made a p-p-pass at me.”

It took a while for that sentence to sink in but as soon as it did a huge smile broke out on Yasuhiros face.

“Dude! Your life is awesome!”

“What do you mean.”

“This is you! Hot detective chick…” Yasuhiro made a pelvic thrust motion “Hot idol chick…” The same motion was repeated. “Hot writer chick.” This was accompanied by a another thrust “And now hot soldier chick?”

“T-that’s grossly sexist.”

“Whatever man, it’s the truth. Now we gotta find Korekiyo, he said he learnt an incantation to help us find the werewolf.”

* * *

 

“So, these ancient cloaks…what do they do?” Naegi asked, as him and Yasuhiro geared up along with Kiyo. They had announced to the class that they would be preforming a special ritual during homeroom, and, unsurprisingly, Mr. Hijirihara had taken them up on the offer.

“Well, when I conduct the ceremony in front of your class, the pure white cloth in these will protect you from the selection. I will also be able to communicate with you still with the hoods on, as most of my senses will be blocked off when I start the incantation.”

“Got ya.”

* * *

 

The three students walked out into the classroom but the reaction they were met with was a hushed whisper. Makoto was a bit surprised at the shocked reaction but started his speech. “Hello, uh…today we’re performing a ritual to figure out…. if someone in this class is a werewolf.”

There was no reaction, until Kyoko spoke up.

“Makoto, look in a mirror.”

“Look, Kyoko we spent a lot of time setti…oh my god we look like we’re part of the KKK.” He ripped the mask off. “Yasuhiro…WE LOOK LIKE WE’RE PART OF THE KKK!”          

“Woah, woah, woah, woah…Naegs chill.” Yasuhiro said taking Naegi over next to Fukawas desk to cool down. “Listen, dude, I see what you’re saying but...” With a flick of his wrist, Yasuhiro reached into his jacket and grabbed a pair of handcuffs, chaining Naegi to Tokos desk. “I really need to find this out, sorry!” He said, rushing back to the stage, as Korekiyo started to recite his poem.

“ _From dust to ash, from the trenches and the gulf, please bright lord, reveal who is the wolf.”_ Bright lights started to emerge from the ground.            

“Yasuhiro, you better come the fuck back here and unhook me!” Makoto shouted.

“Language Mr. Naegi!” Hijirihara said, clearly disappointed that he was being distracted from the light show.

“That’s what you’re worried about right know?”

“Yep!

“ _For there is a line, we shall not cross, and a 15% chance someones soul would be lost.”_

“Ohhh, Russian roulette!” The Killer-Killer shouted.

“Kiyo, you didn’t mention anything about a mortality rate!” Yasuhiro screamed, which prompted Korekiyo to halt his incantation. “Only a 15% chance, which makes it an 85% chance everyone will live.” The class quickly descended into a state of panic. “Do not try to halt it, you will only get caught in the crossfire if I’m reading the incarnation.”

Makoto, meanwhile was making zero progress.

“N-need help?” Fukawa asked, looking at the struggling Naegi.

“Nah, don’t worry, I’ve got this. I saw this in a movie once, you just gotta twist your hand like thiiiiiiii-AH FUCK, MY WRIST!” He suddenly screamed, with an unmistakable click of his bones.

“Yasuhiro!” Toko shouted, her stutter briefly going away due to adrenaline.

“Kinda got my own thing going on here” He replied, as he daintly side stepped around Korekiyos big forcefield of white energy.

“ _And as the sun sets upon the wolves…”_

“Wolf.”

“ _Hmm?”_ Korekiyo stated, the forcefield lowering around him.

“Plural is still wolf.”

“That is incorrect.”

“Nu-uh!”

“Look, look at this right here.”

“I don’t care what your old dirty book says, check it up.”

“Alright, I will, and by the way my books are in mint condition. If somebody could pass me their cellular device, then we’d just have to look up wolves and see the dictionary…”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Yasuhiro screamed as he made his greatest football impression and crash tackled Korekiyo, sending the book flying onto the ground. Small, light blue cracks started to appear in the casing.

“Now, no one touch that, it is a plasma like bomb that will detonate on the smallest touch but if no one lays a ha- “

“Haha!” Yasuhiro said, grabbing the book. “Knew it wasn’t mint condition! Look, page tear! Anyway, where does it talk about wol- “

**_BOOM!_ **

Yasuhiro was sent flying into a wall, to the laughter of the class. “I’m okay.” He muttered clearing sot out of his hair. Meanwhile, Korekiyo desperately dashed up to Makoto, who was still groaning in pain.

“I am so sorry about this Mister Naegi, I simply thought that if there was a werewolf- “He hastily grabbed the keys from Yasuhiros jacket pocket and untied the handcuffs, only for Makoto to immediately look up at him….

**_WAM!_ **

And deck him in the face.

“HAHA! That’s for attempted murder.”

“W-wait, s-so y-your wrist is o-okay?”

“Yeah, I just have clicky bone-oh…fuck, nope it’s broken, it’s totally broken. Think I broke it on the punch.”

“Well, t-then l-let’s g-get y-you t-to the n-nurses office.” Toko sighed, clearing Naegi out of the room. A dusted Yasuhiro waddled over to Mukuros desk and leaned on it.

“So, you’re not actually a werewolf, right?” He asked.

“M-Me?....Well maybe I am?” She playfully shot back after regaining her composure.

“…Really, cause I can set the ritual back up again, if you wa- “

Mukuro just sighed in the face of pure idiocy. 


	37. Just A Bit Awkward...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitari and Mikan fumble around with their relationship status

**_Just A Bit Awkward…_ **

Things are just a bit awkward, Ryota thinks as he walks through the halls. Ever since Hajime unintentionally got him to admit he loves Mikan…to Mikan, it’s been really hard to be near her without the nurse just blushing. It’s not like he’s any better, though, really.

The contact of someone’s shoulder took him out of his thoughts, and the sound of books crumbling to the ground filled his head.

“Sorry.” He mumbled, reaching down to the ground to help pick up the spilled texts, but he noticed the pair of legs to his centre didn’t go with him. The animator looked up to see Mikans face twitching and trembling.

“You…you want your books back?”

“Uhh, nonono! It’s alright!” Mikan practically screamed back, dashing off. “You can keep them.”

Mitari sighed, and set a mental note to return them to her at the next convince.

* * *

 

Mitari leaves his room more and more now. Whether it’s to actually attend class, hang out with Imposter or just get fresh air, not being surrounded by anime is a nice change of pace.

He likes it so much, he even decides to swing by the homework club to finish off an essay he’d ben putting off…that was due tomorrow…and he needed to write 2,000 more words to finish it…start it. There’s only three people in the room: Him, Hiyoko and Mikan.

Mikan couldn’t believe her luck, first being stuck in a room with Hiyoko and now being berated in front of the boy she liked, it was humiliating.

Ryota realized this was a bad situation to be in and was seriously considering nopeing outta this, but he realized that would look incredibly rude, so maybe he could resolve to stay and lend Mikan some moral support for at least the time being.

The minutes ticked away, and Ryota seemingly had writers block…if that writers block was 4’2, orange and called Hiyoko Saionji.

“Nasty pigshit! What are you even doing here? Probably waiting for Hajime to come in, huh? Trying to spread your gross cunt for him? Big sis Mahiru is already going out with him, you whore!” At this point, Mikan was already too worn down to say anything back, instead opting to just cry as torrent and torrents of abuse were sent her way.

At this point, not only was it hard to listen too, it was getting on Ryotas nerves that she was actively interrupting his train of thought.

“Oh, it’s so obvious your desperate for any guy too come along and- “

This was horrible, he couldn’t believe someone could talk to someone else this way. Besides, it only increased his hand clicking on his mouse in frustration that he couldn’t get any work done.

“Why are you even still here?”

**_Click!_ **

“Could you just leave already…maybe the school in general?”

**_Click! Click!_ **

“You know really, everyone just acts nice to you out of pity. It’s pretty funny to see- “

**_Click! Click! Click!_ **

“Your so obvious, just a stupid, dumb, nasty pig ba- “

“JESUS CHRIST, HIYOKO, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHUT UP!”  His outburst startled both girls, and even himself.

“I have been sitting here for half an hour just listening to non-stop bullshit coming out of your mouth, and I’M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE!” Hiyoko was visibly flinching at this point. “So, if you are done berating someone clearly better than you, do me a massive, massive, massive favour and just leave!” He was practically clawing his eyes out by the time he finished. There was a brief moment of silence, where he realized he’d just broken out and muttered a small “sorry.”

“F-fine, geez, it’s clear your only being nice to her cause you want to sleep with her, fucking weeb.” Hiyoko nervously mumbled out, walking out of the room. Ryota gave Mikan a bit too readjust, before he started talking to her.

“Bad mood today, huh?” He asked.

“Y-yeah, I d-deserve it though.” She said back, not even making eye contact.

“You don’t.”

“Y-Yes I d-do. I’m a nasty, good for nothing, ugly- “

It was at this point Ryota couldn’t take it, he leaned over his desk and crashed his lips onto hers. Quickly breaking it, he nervously spat out.

“T-that was a bad kiss, I’m sorry. That usually goes better in ani- “

“I-I-I liked it.” Mikan nervously shot back, still looking at her hands.

“Wait, really?”

“Y-yeah!”

“Soooooo, do you…want to go out s-sometime?”

“Okay.” The nurse, managed to stutter out finally, making eye contact.

“GREAT!” Mitari said, a bit too excitedly, before going back to his essay. Finished the bitch, in 15 minutes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi Ouma Show is coming, but I have some other feels/shippy/comedy ideas I want to get out of the way first, also, I'm 90% Kokichi is the most used character, so I might put his stories on the backburner for a bit.


	38. Excursion Sleepover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime and Nagito run through hard hitting questions.

A glorious chatter filled the air, as the 77th class filled into the classroom for their overnight excursion. Chisa had arranged a week-long trip to this weird old ancient temple (which Gundham claimed was the source of the elixir that fuelled an ancient cult, but no one really believed him).

“Mitari, are you sure, you’re not coming?” Chisa asked the boy, who was stationed at his desk working patiently.

“Sorry, Miss Yukizome, but I…I really need to get to work on this, it needs to be done in the next 6 weeks.”

“Oh, well that’s a shame, Mikan was so excited for- “

“Wait, Mikans going?”

“Yep!”

“Oh…did I say I wasn’t? Of course, I’m going! Just hope there’s space to accommodate me?”

“Well, we can fit you in somewhere.” Chisa was lying, she knew he was going to go all along but it still made her giddy thinking of the _young love_ in the air. Over the last few months, the class had bonded faster than she could keep track of…she was honestly finding it hard to keep track. She used to have a little notebook where she wrote down possible relationship status’ but she gave that up after learning Nagito and Chiaki were dating, she realised she had no way of guessing anything about the kid’s romantic exploits.

Speaking of that happy couple, Yukizome was kinda excited to see them interacting together romantically for the first time. She hadn’t really had a chance to see them really getting all lovey dovey, especially not in class. This was gonna rock!

* * *

 

The class easily and efficiently pilled onto the bus. Gundham took a seat next to Ibuki who was wearing a specially crafted wrist charm, taking the shape of a shooting star.

“What’s that on your wrist, songful one?”

“Oh, it’s a little…charm thingy from this show Ibuki really likes.”

“What channel?”

“Well…it’s a cartoon, so maybe- “

“Cartoon?”

“Y-yeah…” Gundhams bewildered stare put the musician off “What?”

“Oh nothing.”

Meanwhile, at the back of the bus, Chisa had stealthily taken a seat across the aisle from Nagito, waiting diligently to see what adorable interactions him and Chiaki would have…was this getting creepy? Maybe it was, or…was she overcompensating for something?

Anyway, it didn’t matter as Hajime dashed her hopes by taking the seat next to Komeada with Mahiru and Chiaki sitting behind them. The two boys in the middle of an intense, though provoking debate about the social issues that plagued our time.  

“I’m telling you, in a fight or flight situation, the cast of Winnie The Poh would beat Brock Lesnar” Nagito started.

“How? Brock is a UFC champion with legit cred. What’s some fat little bear and his friends gonna do?” Hajime replied

“Dude, bears are dangerous, poohs not declawed or anything like that **and** have you seen Tiggers insane jumping? Brock will never catch him.”

“Tigger has to come down eventually right? So, Brock will just catch him and german him.”

“But he can get some major distance with those jumps.”

“He can get some major distance when Brock chucks him across the whole hundred-acre wood. Besides, Tigger can’t escape Brocks zoning, that man is fast and if we’re talking prime Brock, has pretty decent cardio.”

“Yeah, but the distance, you’re forgetting about the distance”

“Who gives a crap about the distance?”

“The distance is key to all of this Hajime; how do you not understand? Either way, Mama Roo is also there-.”

Hajime let out a loud laugh at the suggestion. “Okay Nagito, tell me, inform me, what’s Mama Roo gonna do?”

“Kick his head off with her kangaroo kick.”

“Have you seen that video where a guy punches the kangaroo in the face? Imagine Brock doing that to a kangaroo, it’d break the things jaw!”

“Yeah, but Baby Roos also there, and he can jump almost as good as Tigger. Besides hes smaller so he can probably get even more distan- “

“STOP!” Mahiru shouted from the back seat. “How, in the name of gods green earth, have you been sitting here for 5 straight minutes talking about **this**? Please just stop.”

Hajime mouthed an okay and Nagito nodded his head…only to then resume their conversation through sign language. Hajime made cupped one hand around the back of his hand, to represent Brock german suplexing baby roo, before Nagito made a long sweeping motion to represent the distance.

“No miming.” Mahiru corrected which lead to a disappointed groan from the pair.

* * *

 

The bus pulled up at the stop, and the class relocated into a huddle. Chisa eyes immediately diverted to Nagito, and this time she got her wish, as he calmly walked over to his girlfriend.

“How are you doing?” He said, sing-song like, throwing an arm over her back.

“I’m doing good.” She replied in the same weird, melody tone they were using.

“This temple looks really old on the map, I don’t really like old temples. Sometimes they collapse and the tourist who’s taking pictures next to you.”

“…Did that happen to you?”

“Maybe.” Nagito speedily said, hurrying to change the conversation. There was a definite silence as the two walked along, Nanamis eyes glued to the portable in her hands, until she paused it, leaned up to his lips and kissed him.

“H-huh. Why, why…why did you do that?”

“I dunno. Felt like it.” Chiaki replied with a small smirk, thinking she’d managed to best him, but the luckster had an ace up his sleeve.

“Surprised you were able to reach me.”

“Huh? What, we’re generally the same height…I think.”

HAHA! Nagito had her this time. Her lack of spatial awareness would be here downfall!

“How tall are you?” He asked back with a smirk.

“I dunno…5’2 I think.”

“5’8!” Nagito replied back with a smirk, but instead of a pout as he expected, Chiaki just smiled.

“Well, I like my boyfriend being taller than me anyway.” They both giggled a bit and went back to holding hands, but there was someone left mad. Chisa had thought they were going too fast at first, then thought they were adorable but they were only adorable WHEN THEY WEREN’T GOING TOO FAST. Usually Munakata was there to calm her down and act as a filter, but this time Munakta wasn’t there, so the filter was well and truly off!

* * *

 

“Uhh, how much longer till we reach this place?” Ibuki said, body clearly drooping down from the long walk.

“I’d say another few miles at least.” Fuyuhiko said, hazily looking at the map.

“AHHH!” She let out an exasperated sigh.

“Hey, Mioda, don’t worry, I’ll piggyback you the whole way there.” Akane said, butting in.

“Alright!” Ibuki yelled, giggling as she jumped on the gymnasts back, however, she couldn’t miss the look of confusion in Gundhams eyes, and the pieces of the puzzle slowly started to formulate in her mind.

* * *

 

The students were relived to find that they would **not** being staying at the ancient temple, instead, at a small traditional little inn. Once again, the class organised themselves, proving that being allowed to do what you want turned the class into an efficiency machine.

“There’s a divide in the centre, so why don’t we do boys on one side, girls on the other.” Chisa said.

“I am fine with that.” Sonia said, eyeing up Kazuichi but Chiaki gave a growl in response.

“Why do we even need a divide?” Nanami asked.

“Well because- “

“I mean it’s not like we’re changing in front of the other. They have separate change rooms, right?” Mahiru said, continuing the gamers train of thought.

“That’s true, you know what, let’s not use the divide but can you please stay in your **own** bed roll.”

Chiaki let out a small cheer and grabbed onto Nagitos shoulder, which caused Chisa to grimace. It’s not that Nagito wasn’t a great person, which he was, it’s just, Chiaki was so innocent and Nagito was un-intentionally manipulative. She had no idea how they were compatible.

* * *

 

“Alright, lights out!” Chisa had announced, after all parties had set up their sleeping quarters. She’d positioned herself ever so subtly so she could spy on Nagito and Chiaki and make sure no funny business went down.

Ibuki snuggled into her covers next to Gundham, but noticed that her boyfriend had simply discarded his robe instead of dressing in sleepwear.

“You don’t ware PJs?”

“No, I find pyjamas…childish.” Ibuki further slipped into her bed roll to obscure the fact that she was wearing a pyjama top and bottoms. “You should know this songful one, I’ve slept over at your house many times.”

“I just assumed you were so tired you couldn’t be bothered to get dressed” She replied to which Gundham shook his head, before collapsing into his bed roll. Ibuki did the same but something didn’t feel right, something about the way he looked at her when he was talking, her mind raced over the possibilities but there was just-

Oh my god. Oh no oh no oh no. Did he see **her** as childish as well? I mean, she kind of was, but she thought that was her thing, but maybe he didn’t see that as her thing, he saw her as a charity case? Something to build back up until he felt she was ready enough to be dropped. Oh no, this was terrible! She had to do something, maybe act more mature, maybe… okay take the horns off, first thing, then start acting-

As the punk rockers’ thoughts spiralled, Nagito and Chiaki made their move. Every 2 minutes they would nudge their bedrolls three centimetres closer to each other, eventually reaching the other…

“You two! Separate.” Chisas voice came piercing through the silence. Nagito did so without question but Chiaki gave a little pout, rolling onto her side in dismay.

Eventually though, Yukizome faded away, leaving her light snores in place of any rules. Chiaki was out at this point too, but there was one thing left to do.

“Hey Hajime.”

“Yeah?” Hajime sleepily said as he rolled onto his side to face Nagito.

“Winnie the Pooh is a black bear. Do you really think Brock could beat a black bear?”

“Yes, if the bear was three foot two. Besides, how's he a black bear? He's yellow.”

“Bears can bound miles you know, that can create some serious- “

“Don’t say it.”

“Distance.”

“Suck a frogs dick.” The brunette said in mock-insult.

“Wait, do frogs have dicks?”

“Yeah Nagito, everything has a dick.”

“Have you ever seen a frogs dick?”

There was a small silence, as Hajime realized that was actually not a bad point and weighed his options. “You know what man, let’s just try and go to sleep.”

“Good idea.”

They both shut their eyes, snuggled into their bed rolls and long, peaceful silence filled the room creating a stagnant, beautifully quiet atmosphere almost unheard of at scho-

“I’m sorry, I just can’t get over this frogs have dicks thing.”

“Yeah me neither.”

“Have you got your phone on you?”

“Maybe…. nope, I left it in Chiakis dorm.”

“Damn, I have mine but no data.”

“Maybe this place has free wi-fi?”

“This place probably doesn’t even have **wi-fi** let alone free wi-fi." Hajime said with a smirk. "What are we gonna do."

“Find a book about frogs!”

“Why would anyone here have a book about frogs on them at this very moment?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s someone’s fetish?”

Nagitos eyes were met with Hajimes bewildered ones.

“Sorry Hinata, trash idea, I know.”

“Usually I would say don’t put yourself down, but yes, that idea was indeed trash. Hey, Gundham or Mikan might now what frogs reproductive systems are like, let's ask....” The former reserve course took a look around and saw Gundhams empty sleeping bag and Mikan murmuring things in her sleep. "Them?

“Well maybe Chiaki has my phone in her bag. It wouldn’t be crazy to think she forgot to tell me.”

“Search her bag then, just be quick and make sure no one sees you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll look like a pervert.”

“Fair enough. I’ll be quick.”

Nagito rolled over to his side, and stealthily rose over to Chiakis bag, quickly digging through it, hoping to feel vinyl on his skin.

“Nagito?! What on earth are you doing!” Chisas voice brings him back to reality, and fear overtakes his body. His mind races a mile a minute and brang up the perfect excuse…

“I was just trying to look up frog penises!”

Hajime struggled to contain his laughter while pretending to be asleep.

“I’m talking to you about this tomorrow morning. Nanamis gonna hear about this too! Now sit down, go to bed and think about what you’ve done.”

Chisa had known it from the very start! He was only after Nanami for her body, it was obvious! And now she had the evidence to prove it!

* * *

 

 Ibuki was just going up stairs to bleach her hair. Nothing out of the ordinary, wait, did this place even have hair bleach? Whatever, she looked around the corridors but spied nothing of note before waltzing into a janitor’s closet.

Well, it was useless for the most part, but maybe they had ble-wait, what the hell was she even doing? She couldn’t just completely change herself for some dude…even if she **really** liked that dude. Well she wasn’t changing, just, you know, improving…that was fucked up. No, screw this, this was a bad idea…

“What’s on your mind songful one?”

“AHH! FUCK! Jesus Christ!” She said, startled as Gundham basically appeared from nowhere. “How did y-you- “

“You are very noisy when you try to rip yourself away from your bed.”

Ibuki sighed, and crossed her legs. “Do you think Ibukis like a little kid.”

“Well, I am not a paedophile, so no.” He replied with a hint of humour in his voice.

“I’m serious. You seem like…totally done with everything I do now.”

“Hmm…it seems there is a definite mistranslation between us. I’m am not “totally done” as you say.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. What were you planning to do up here?”

“Uhh, maybe bleach my hair. You know, to impress you…” She said, eyes darting to the ground.

“You were really willing to go through with that?”

“No! I was totally gonna chicken out! I was already having second thoughts. Anyway, none of this matters, cause we’re all cool now! Love you!”

Ibuki said, reverting to her normal self, which caused Gundhams solemn expression to soften.

“I love you too.” He nervously mumbled.

“What was that?” Ibuki replied with a smirk

“I love you too.” He managed to force out. She liked how awkward he was with romance, kissing him on the cheek as she walked out of the room.

**_SMASH!_ **

And then Gundham punched a wall

 _Stupid! Tanaka, you absolute fuck up!_ He said in his head. He’d purposely been trying to act cooler in front of her, but maybe he should’ve realized that actively showing zero interest in the things she likes was just going to make her sad. _Be better you moron!_ He chastised himself, before angrily walking back to his bedroll.

* * *

 

Dawn broke, and the class quickly descended into pillow fighting madness. Chisa would normally put a stop to it, she used this as a distraction to get Nagito and Chiaki in a separate room.

“Now Nagito, you know why you’re here. Chiaki, everything will become apparent when I reveal that your BOYFRIEND IS A MASSIVE PERVERT and was looking through your underwear.”

Silence hung in the air, as Chiakis expression shifted to one of slight dismay.

“Nagito? Why were you- “

“Ahh, my apologies Nanami, I simply thought you may have had my phone in your bag so I looked through it, to check if frogs had penises or not.”

Chiakis face brightened up immediately.

“Excuses! Excuses! Why would your phone be in her bag? Your obviously just trying to see her- “

“Actually Miss Yukizome, it makes perfect sense…’cause him and Hinata have arguments about stuff like this all the time. And besides…”

Nanami reached into her backpack, shuffled her hands around a bit, before retrieving a small grey object. “I actually did have his phone.’

Chisa looked slightly stunned before murmuring out a soft “Komaeda you can go.” Nagito softly stood up and walked past Nanami, thinking maybe a kiss on the cheek wasn’t exactly appropriate.

“Miss Yukizome…” Chiaki started, disappointment in her tone.

“Look, Nanami, I’m sorry I tried to separate you two, but you’re you and he’s very…Nagito.”

“Yeah, I know, but I love him anyway. He’d never try to hurt me…I’m sure of it!” She said, leaning in with her hands in her chest.

“Okay, Okay” you sure have a lot of trust in him. I barley saw you two interacting last year.”

“Yeah well…he puts the same trust in me, it’s only fair.”

Chisas lips broke into a small smile, before sweeping Chiaki up in a big hug.

“Ah, you’re really growing up!”

“Miss Yukizome!” Chiaki started to shout, but she was quickly put down.

“Now run along now! Wouldn’t want to keep him waiting…”

Chiaki started to walk out the door, but she felt she hadn’t felt like she’d received proper vengeance for not being able to have fun with Nagito yesterday, so she threw a lie back at Chisa, just to mess with her.

“I don’t even see why this was an issue. He knows my size anyway.”

He didn’t, but seeing Chisas face go off the wall, it was worth it.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> M E L O D R A M A


	39. The Kokichi Ouma Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ouma finally comes up with his magnum opus of pranks, his creme de la creme. Inspired by the Eric Andre show, he and Rantaro set out to put their guests through absolute mental torture as Kokichi labels it as his social studies project.

**_The Kokichi Ouma Show_ **

Kokichi finished up work on his wooden desk, with a swipe of his forehead. He’d spent a week constructing this for his social studies project, which was basically him remaking the Eric Andre show on unwitting individuals from the other classes. Now, all he needed was a Hannibal. Someone who was mean spirited enough to join in on this, but smart enough to have proper comedic timing.

Kee-Boy was a no go, same deal with Shuichi. Ryoma had the emotion of a brick 100% of the time, and he needed it 10% of the time. Kiyo was creepy by himself, and a massive attention diversion. Rantaro…Yes! Rantaro was perfect.

Kokichi approached him in class the next day.

“Hey! Rantaro your gonna go- “

“I don’t need any of your rhyming bullshit Kokichi, just tell me what the hell you want.”

“Wow, wow, awfully aggressive. Anyway, I need you to be a partner for my social studies project. Think the Eric Andre show, except we **really** freak out the guests because they’ll be people from, dadadada, other classes.”

“…We are going to get in so much trouble for this, but that is an amazing idea.”

“I know right! And besides, don’t worry about getting in trouble. I’ve run through it with Mr. Gozu, as long as there’s no physical violence, we’re in the clear.”

“Well, I am 100% in man.”

“Great! Wanna run through some sketches?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Okay…”

* * *

 

Show time. The class 78 was in attendance for this one, and Kokichi had already picked the perfect target. Makoto Naegi, big source of hope in the class, smart enough to fire back at Ouma but socially in-touch enough to screw up via fluster.  

Him and Rantaro had been practicing for a few hours beforehand. Ouma was of course, right at home in his role, and Amami had proven to be the perfect sidekick for his antics.

The class packed into the room filling the air with polite claps. _Oh, they haven’t seen anything yet_ Ouma thought to himself and he started his start of show speech.

“Hi, uh, I’m K-Kokich- “He suddenly stopped and clutched his wrist lightly, as if he felt numbness in it. Then his whispers began:

“Come on, Kokichi…this is show business. Don’t screw it up. Don’t screw it up…don’t screw i- “He made a sweeping motion with his arm, knocking a strategically placed mug off the table. “SHIT! DAMN IT!” He screamed, head folding into his arms.

He waited a second, before pulling his head up and flashing a winning smile. “Hi, I’m Kokichi Ouma and this is the Kokichi Ouma show, I am joined by Jack Putin, he’s from Russia!”

“Russia number one!” Rantaro abruptly shouted in his **regular** voice, before letting Kokichis ramble continue

“And this is a talk show, so we need a person to talk to, I will pick a volunteer at random. Let’s see here…” Kokichi pulled out a clipboard with the names of the 78 written on it “The rando choses…Makoto Naegi! Come on up here.”

Makoto looked slightly nervous at this, but the class urged him on, and soon Makoto had stepped onto the stage and into the seat next to Kokichi.

“So, uhh, Makoto…” Kokichi started but he quickly made a jank with his body, followed by another. “Ah, fuck, my chairs zapping me. Is your chair zapping you?” He asked, pushing off. Makoto shook his head.

“Is he shocking me?” Kokichi asked to the audience pointing to Rantaro, who was holding up a small remote. “Stop shocking me!”

“I’m not shocking you.”

“You are! You are!” He shouted, before sitting down again. “So, Makoto- “Ouma continued, completely changing the conversation. “Earlier in the week, you tweeted- “

“I-I don’t h-have twit- “

  
“” Scientology is bullshit. Not only is it a complete sham, but I challenge their pussy-ass legal team to come at me and square up.” Now how could you say something so controversial yet so brave?”

Perfect reaction. Makoto started to sweat immediately. “Well that’s gotta be a misunderstanding, b-because I d-didn’t…”

“Yo! The fuck’s he saying about Scientology?” Rantaro aggressively yelled,

“What?! No, nothing!” Makoto started, as Rantaros pose got more and more aggressive.

“Calm down.” Kokichi said, with a hint of laughter in his voice, causing Rantaro to back off. “Now, Makoto, you seen the latest Marvel Movie?”

“Yeah. It was pretty good.”

“You a big marvel fan?” Ouma asked, leaning back on his chair.

“I mean, I watch all the movies, got a few of the comics.”

“So, you’re a fan.” Ouma took a weird, slurping sip from a bottle he had taped under the desk before resuming his questioning “Here’s a question. Is Spider-Man’s cum super sticky?”

“W-well…I mean, I don’t k-know. It could be, there’s a possibility.”

“I don’t deal in could be’s Makoto.” Kokichi replied, looking at his hands. At that very second, Rantaro pulled a gun (rubber, but the crowd didn’t know that) out of his left pocket and pointed it at Makoto. A shocked gasp escaped the whole classes lips.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” 

“Yes or no dude.” Ouma asked.

“UH…WHAT?”

“5”

“I DON’T- “

“4”

“NO THAT’S…. I CAN’T”

“3”

“UHHH…UHHH…”

“2”

“YES! Yes! His cum is probably extra sticky!” Makoto shouted. Kokichi made a thumbs up motion with his hands and Rantaro tossed the gun at a wall.

“You know what I thought…” The green haired boy started. “Is that maybe he has 8 dicks.”

“Oh, that’s feasible.” Kokichi concurred.

“Y-yeah, but with cum doesn’t come out of a Spiders l-legs.” Makoto nervously stated before he was cut off by a cheery ringtone.

“Sorry, gotta take this.” Ouma said. “Hello? L Ron? Woah woah woah. Dude calm down. We know. We know we gotta take this guy out. What’s his name? Makoto Naegi.”

Fear once again was placed in the brunette’s eyes as the conversation became more and more explicit.

“Dude, L Ron, we’ll get him. Don’t worry.” Kokichi looked up from his phone, dead in the lucksters eyes. “Hey, what way do you come home from school?”

“I-I’m n-not gonna answer that.”

“Well he’s refusing the questioning. Not much we can do, see ya L Ron.”

“Is this…syndicated?” Makoto asked, looking around the area with suspicion.

“What does syndicated mean? Like syndicated sex?”

“…That’s not a thing.”

“Yeah, syndicated sex, where you broadcast your sex?”

“Sooooo, porn?”

“No syndicated sex.”

“That’s just porn.’

“Rantaro, what do you say, syndicated sex or porn.”

“Porn, obviously. What the fuck is syndicated sex?”

Kokichi reacted to this by slumping down, slowly smashing his head against his desk a few times, before abruptly pushing his chair out and walking off stage.

“Shows over. Everyone, go home.”

“You heard the man, everyone, go!” Rantaro yelled, waving his arms around. You didn’t have to tell Naegi twice, as he practically leapt off stage and bolted for the door. 

First show was a resounding success.

* * *

 

Makoto, sat on the steps, out of breath, as Byakuya and Yasuhiro walked up to him.

“Ha! Naegs, that was hilarious!”

“Indeed, it was highly amusing.”

“Oh yeah, the gun to my head was hysterical.” He spat back, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

“Come on Naegi, it was obviously fake! He based the whole thing off the Eric Andre show.”

“What’s the Eric Andre show?”

“Check it up on your phone.”

“Can’t you check it up on yours?”

“You do not have the privilege to see it.”

“It’s ‘cause he’s got a nokia” Yasuhiro said.

“I do not have a nokia!” Bykuya shouted, as his friends laughed. Makoto reached into his pocket and retrieved a small device. He looked up the Eric Andre show but was greeted by Yasuhiros confused groan.

“Wait…is he a comedian?”

“Yeah?”

“Dude…that’s my dad!” He said, no tone of bullshitery in his voice.

“…. What?”

* * *

 

Kokichi practically fell onto the stage, struggling to contain his excitement. This was his second, and final show and instead of taking it easy, this time he decided to up the difficulty.

Mahiru Koizumi. This one was gonna be harder to rile up, but he realized the small flaw in her character: Gender equality. She was a massive advocate, provided Kaede wasn’t lying, so he’d prepared adequately. Enough mindless prattle, it was showtime!

“Hi, my names Kokichi Ouma and welcome to the- “Once again, he started wriggling his hand but the pay off was different. Instead of freaking out, he looked at the audience and said “excuse me for one second.”

Ouma grabbed his wrist and twisted it to the far right, with an ear-splitting crack. A stunned hush washed over the students.

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, AHH!” He screamed, holding his wrist in pain. Rantaro jumped off stage, and walked up to Chisas seat.

“I’m just warning you upfront, have 911 on stand-by. He’s got very fragile bones. It’s like Samuel L Jackson in Unbreakable.” He said, not paying much mind to what the homegroup teacher said afterwards.

Meanwhile, Kokichi recovered on stage. “Hi, my names Kokichi Ouma and welcome to the Kokichi Ouma show. Today I’m joined by…. I don’t know his name, but he’s here. As this is a **talk** show, we need someone to **talk** to, so…” once again he pulled out his list. “Dadadada…Mahiru Kozumi, come on down!” Ouma threw his hands up in the air.

In the stands, Mahiru groaned but Hajimes small laughter and Ibuki edging her on and Mahiru reluctantly made her way down to the chair. Still her boredom was made very clear as she sat down.

“Oh, do you not want to be here right now?”

“I mean, honestly, not really, but I’ll do my best since I’m here now!” Mahiru replied, earning a small amount of laughter from the crowd but a frown from Kokichi.

“…What?” Mahiru said after a small silence.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…it’s just, look, I’m sorry, but I do not like THE WAY THAT YOU ARE LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW!” Ouma suddenly exploded into a ball of anger, crushing his drink through the table. “Oh shit…damn, it’s gonna cost a fortune to get that fixed.”

Meanwhile, Rantaro pulled out a mini skateboard and started doing kick flips with it on his fingers.

“Anyway, let’s talk about you! Because you are the guest of honour.” Kokichis tone turned sickly sweet. “What do you like to do for fun?”

“Well, photography, obviously…”

“Hardcore drugs?”

“…No, photography.”

“Yeah, I get that, but do you also do hardcore drugs?”

“What?! No of course not…”

Before she could finish, Rantaro walked around a dropped a bag of crystal meth (broken up blue jolly rancher) on Kokichis desk. Kokichi stashed in his drawer before resuming the conversation. “How’s your home life?”

The redhead took a minute to analyse the question before giving her reply. “Well, it’s pretty good. I mean my dad’s sorta-”

**_PHHHHHHH_ **

A loud sound came from her side and she turned around to see Rantaro holding a flute.

“Keep going.” Kokichi prompted.

“Well, as I was saying, my dad- “

“CAN YOU HEAR MY VOICE CALLING OUT!” Kokichi loudly shouted in tune with another **_PHHH_** from Rantaros instrument. “Keep going, we’re just practicing for our band.”

“Oh yeah, what’s your band name?” Mahiru replied, un-impressed.

“Sex in a Chillies-to-go.” The photographer obviously rolled her eyes at the name, but at least some clarity was brought to the conversation after Rantaro snapped his flute in half. The supreme leader briefly observed his audience out of the corner of his eye, most were looking very disappointed, but his eye lingered on that kid in the green tie who looked absolutely scathing. Anyway, he wasn’t one to keep his guests waiting.  

“So, if I’ve got my facts right, you are a very big supporter of gender equality?” Kokichi asked, flash changing the subject like his name was Barry Allen. “Tell us about that?”

“I mean, it’s a basic human right, ya know? Why are women paid less then men, why are women in other countries treated as livestock? It’s a society that’s built on one gender being better than the other, even though they’re basically the same. It’s disgusting.” Her speech earned some pretty decent cheers from the class, but it was nothing compared to the disgust they were about to show in a minute. Ouma straightened his facial features, adjusted his hanky and looked her dead in the eyes.

“See the vibe I just got from that is that you want to see my dick.”

“…What?” Her tone was deep and dark. The audience started murmuring too, the tall kid in the tie in particular had said “I’m gonna fucking kill him.” A smirk broke out on Kokichis face.

“Jesus Christ, dude, no one wants to hear about your malformed micro penis.” Rantaro came to the rescue…if this hadn’t been written into Oumas script.

“Firstly, it’s half an inch above average!” The whole class groaned in disgust. “Secondly, everyone does. Hey! Blonde girl, ribbon in her hair!” He gestured to Sonia. “Are you or are you not thinking about my penis right now?”

“I am not.” She shot back deadpan.

Ouma basically burst into tears at this point, kicking off his chair and crouching in the corner. “WHY DOES NO ONE WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY DICK, MAN?!” He screamed.

“You’re absolutely disgusting.” Mahiru shot back only to be greeted by the sound of a whistle and a yellow piece of paper falling into her lap. She turned to see Rantaro in an umpire’s uniform and soccer cap with a whistle in his mouth.

“Yellow card! Verbal abuse!”

“What?! What about him?!”

“Host is exempt from the rules.”

Meanwhile, Kokichi trudged his way back on the stage, sitting down on his chair and “refreshing” by spilling a whole passionfruit soda on himself, soggiying all his clothes. “Now, let’s get this show back on track, cause it’s clearly…you know…”

At this point, Mahiru was up to here with this guy and pushed herself from the chair. “No, okay, you are a sexist little piece of human garbage and I’m not gonna participate in your crappy show, that’s really…weird anyway. So, if you could just stop talking, it’ll make this easier on everyone, so they don’t have to hear your stupid voice anymore!”

She walked right into it. He couldn’t have planned it anymore perfectly, Kokichi set up for the ultimate finish. “I’m sor- “His cheeks inflated with laughter, and he wondered maybe this was risking too much…he’d dug his hole now, may as well sleep in it. After a brief bit of recomposure, he looked back up at her glaring face and said:

“Look, I’m sorry, but you’re gonna need to repeat most of your speech because, I’ll be honest, I really like women talking down to me and I had a semi for 90% of that.”

What Kokichi didn’t expect was to be punched in the face by her. The last sound he heard before black out was a whistle being called and the words:

“Red card-physical violence!”

* * *

 

Kokichi got a B on the assignment. Mr. Gozu said it would’ve been an A+ (Kokichi had made two detailed essays detailing reactions) if he hadn't pushed the needle as hard as he did, which put it into perspective…

The Kokichi Ouma Show had had a good run. Drunkenly high highs and staggeringly low lows…or more accurately a drunkenly high high and a staggering low low but he talked it over with Rantaro (who had managed to talk his way out of getting the smacked as well) and figured, with a heavy heart, it was time to cancel the Kokichi Ouma show…for now at least.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was so fun to write.


	40. A Day In The Life Of Hajime Hinata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Visit from his father brings Hajime through a journey of self-discovery and acceptance

Studying came easy to Hajime. It was obvious when he compared himself to anyone else. Nagito didn’t, Mahiru burnt herself out constantly and Kazuichi spent his days methodically texting every person in the class, asking if he could copy them. Today of all days, though, Hajime was struggling. It all started in the morning, when he saw his mother smiling at breakfast. His mother never smiled.

“I’ve got a big surprise for tonight!” She had announced, to which Hajime was more than a little curious to find out about. Maybe she was finally going to kick him out and never talk to him? Then he could just live at his dorm…no, him being in the Hopes Peak main class probably fuelled her ego more than anything else in the world. 

He sighed as he heard her the lock click, and the door swing open.

“Hajime, you’re wanted in the living room.”

Taking one last look at his open books, he dropped his pen and walked downstairs. He saw his mother smiling creepily downstairs.

“Your fathers coming to visit in 2 days!” She said joyfully.

“ _Great.”_ Hajime replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He at least respected his dad a tiny bit for taking his ball and going home, while his Mum stayed in a cocoon of alcohol and (after her second divorce) nostalgia, reminiscing on the “good old days” … you know, before he was born, gifting her yet another way to blame his parents fuck ups on him.

“Hajime.” She replied sternly. “This is a very big moment for us as a **family**.” He cringed at her usage of the word. “I’ve forgiven him. Why can’t you? Now, back to your room, I’m having friends over.”

Hajime sulked off, to his room, bad mood setting in immediately.

* * *

 

“So, if I take the 7 from this…” Mahiru said, laid out on Hinatas bed as the other boy worked on diligently on his desk.

“No! Mahiru you don’t take the 7 from anywhere!” He started aggressively before calming himself down. “Just…let me work.”

“Jeez, sor- **ry** for asking help from my boyfriend with the highest math scores in the class.”

“I don’t, Nagito does.”

“Nagito only got that score because there was a multiple-choice aspect that he could bullshit his way through.”

“Well, he still got the highest average. If you could calculate that, maybe you wouldn’t be needing to ask me for help.” He aggressively spat back, but immediately regretted as he saw Mahirus face fall. “Sorry honey, I’m just…stressed.”

Koizumi pushed herself off the bed and draped her arms around Hajimes neck. “What’s up?”

“My dad’s coming back to visit.”

“Oh, that’s great! Hajime, why aren’t you excited?”

“Hard to get excited for his once-in-six-months family time.”

“Well, then look at it this way. You don’t have to see him again for 6 months?”

Hajime let out a small laugh and turned to face his girlfriend.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, now return the favour and help me with these damn questions!”

* * *

 

Hajime gazed out his damp, dripping window, as he waited for his father to arrive. Rain had drizzled down like bullets setting the perfect mood, in Hajimes mind.

That’s when he spotted it, a man dressed in brown overcoat and fedora wielding a wide black umbrella. His dad didn’t drive most of the time, instead opting to take the train.

 _Gas companies are all scams made to take away from the consumer_ He recalled him saying.

**_Ding-Dong!_ **

The doorbell rung, sending his mother into a frenzy to open it.

“Akira!” She said happily, but from what Hajime could decipher of the man’s murmurs, there was not as much excitement in his voice. The Brunette drearily stepped down stairs and took a glance at the doorway.

“There he is.” The man said with a small smile on his face.

“Hey.” Hajime managed to grunt out, passing his Dad out the door. Akira looked at Hajimes mother with bored eyes, now that he’d seemingly obtained his goal.

“Well, we best be going.” He started.

“But you just got here, maybe we could reminisce for a bit- “

“Sorry, gotta move.” And he slammed the door in her face. Dick move for sure, Hajime thought, but couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

“So, where are we going tonight son?”

“I don’t know dad, maybe you should’ve thought of that before you made the train ride to pick me up.” Hajime said back sarcastically, with hints of venom overlapping his tone. His dad chose to ignore it.

“Well, there’s this fancy diner place a few blocks down, I figured we could go there.”

“Sounds great.”

Spending any time with this guy did not sound great.

* * *

 

“Accounting is a serious business, my boy…” His dad had gone on and on for what felt like hours and it was surprisingly very hard maintaining a happy façade, or at the very least, one that didn’t utterly despise every second he was here.

“I’ve sunk all my time into work over the last few months.” Hajimes eyes twitched.

“Good to see you finally managed to sink your time into something.” He harshly whispered which caused his dad to raise his eyebrow, but the man ignored it, at least outwardly.

“Enough about me, let’s talk about you! Heard you got into that hopes peak place!”

“Yep, 77th class. Ultimate attorney.” He replied, not a hint of happiness over his features.

“Wow! Didn’t know you were into legal studies…say, what’s the school like itself? How are you doing with the ladies?” His dad jokingly asked, but Hajime saw the opportunity to wipe that laugh off his ignorant fucking face.

“Great, actually. I have a girlfriend, Mahiru Koziumi, same class as me.”

“Woah…good on you son! You got a picture?”

Okay, what the fuck was this guys deal. Comes back after 6 months without seeing him and is acting all buddy-buddy? This was just starting to piss him off.

“No, I don’t have my phone with me.” Hajime replied, more aggressive than intended.

“What’s up with you?” His dad asked, emulating the same method of speech “You’ve been at me all night.”

“At you all night?! Oh, I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I’m not immediately jumping for joy at the man who dropped me as soon as I was born leaving me with **her** , I’m sorry that I’m not appreciating the gracious 3 hours you give me once every 6 months and you know what, I’m sorry that you force yourself to pretend to fucking care about me for those 3 hours, when we all know you only do this as a formality!” Hajime practically shouted, as his dad sat there wide-eyed.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, although Hajime did notice his dad downing more glasses of alcohol than usual.

* * *

 

Well that came back to bite him, didn’t it? Hajimes father was not collapsed on top of him, a drunken mess. The attorney trudged with the older man balanced on his shoulders towards the train station. As much as he hated him, he wasn’t going to let the old man stagger off and die. He made it up onto the platform and panted as he laid Akiras body up on the seat.

The platform was deadly silent, not a single person next to him. It was actually starting to get creepy...

“H-Hajime…” His dad started slurring. God damn it, this could not get worse. 5 minutes until the train arrived as well. “I-I’m sorry…”

Did he fucking hear that right?

“What?”

“I-I-I was young…. I was a fucking idiot.” Oh, here came his whole life story, Hajime thought, pretending not to care.

“B-But…I want to t-try and make it up to you…I want to be a good father…. now that you’re growing up…I’m sorry I left…I’m sorry I wasn’t around…I’m gonann ‘ryyy har-.” He passed out again on Hajimes shoulder.

 _What a pointless fucking speech_ Hinata though to himself, but the tears quickly filling his eyes went betrayed his words, and he very quickly rubbed his eyes. The **_chugachugachugachuga_** of the train broke through his thoughts, and he quickly lifted himself up and his dads’ comatose body, to place him on the train. He knew were his dads house was, it was literally directly next to the stop, and Akira was bound to wake up before the train stopped. Hajime gently placed him on a seat, got off the train and departed for Hopes Peak.

He still wanted to say he hated him, that he never wanted to see his father again…. but something told him his dad was sincere with his words. This feeling…it wasn’t forgiveness, it was acceptance. Acceptance that people fucked up all the time, and his Dad was young and stupid when he had him. People couldn’t un-fuck up, but if his dad wanted to try…that was fine by him.

He was Hajime Hinata, and no matter what his parents did, he knew he’d grow up to be better than them! That was his hope…his future and their actions wouldn't define him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That ending went full Danganronpa.


	41. More Small Little Affections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Greater insight into what makes Gundham and Ibuki work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to note two things: 
> 
> 1- One segment of this probably goes over the T rating and into M. I didn't want to label the whole fic M just because of this one chapter, but it get's somewhat dirty, so don't say there was no warning. 
> 
> 2- If there's anything weird in this chapter, it's probably because alot of its from Gundhams perspective and his grip on the reality of himself is less than stellar.

As cool as he tries to be, Gundham sucks at any physical contact. He’s jumpy (once started flailing his hands around trying to hit people after Fuyuhiko woke him up), awkward and generally seems uncomfortable with anyone coming close to touching him which is why the class was so in shock when, during a trip to the river, it was made apparent that Ibuki basically had free reign over him.

“Gooooooood Nom-Nom-Noming, Tanaka” She said in a sing-song tone, as their classmates watched in awe as she placed herself down of his lap. There was a collective brace for the inevitable freakout that was going to happen…but it never came.

“Good morning to you as well songful one.” He replied back calmly as she rested her head on his shoulder. To say they were gobsmacked would be putting it lightly.

* * *

 

Ibuki thought she’d knew how bad Gundham was at romance, but the singer didn’t realize how funnily awkward he’d be. Mahiur had commented about how comfortable he was with her compared to literally anyone else in the class and Mioda would admit, she could see it, just from his posture and facials but there was still some doubt…

She knew not to catch him in attack hugs if she wanted to have a reasonable conversation with him up to 15 minutes after the event, kissing was usually pretty awkward and the only thing that Gundham really relaxed about was her snuggling up too him, but none of that really bothered Ibuki. They gelled so well, it didn’t really matter about if they weren’t like that, she’d take a strong platonic relationship over a physical one any day, it just so happened that the pair liked going out together….

That didn’t stop Ibuki from kissing him just to get him riled up.

* * *

 

Masturbation…everyone masturbated. That’s what Gundham told himself as he jerked his chain one afternoon. As he was not some hormone-crazed sex fiend, he did not masturbate all that often, but today, Ibuki was performing a concert, he was at her home alone, why not indulge in the dark arts.

So, he’d gone, jerked himself off, not to the thought of Miss Mioda of course, he was instead jerking off too…anime girls? God that sounded lame, whatever though. He reached his climax, as most people do and reached into his pocket only to realize, he had no tissue.

Instinctively, he close fisted his dick, but the overwhelming urge to explode from…. anime girls, was a lot to handle, so he had to use 2 hands. As he explored Ibukis room, he saw a pack of tissues halfway across the fucking bed.

Doing his best audition for American Ninja Warrior, Gundham triumphantly combat rolled over to the tissue box. Using his left foot, he kicked at the box but it only came out with scraps, which fell on him. Deciding he needed to go further, he brought his right leg into the equation but this only earned more tissue scraps to fall on him.

At this point, the breeder almost considered just shooting a load all over the floor and whipping it off, but unfortunately, Ibuki had gotten the floor to her room carpeted recently, and with her impeccable smell, that was a no-go.

Then he heard a key in the front door...that was impossible her show finished at 8:30 and it was now…9:00?! Oh no…before he could recompose himself, Ibuki swung open the door with her trademark vigour.

“I’m hoooooommmm- “ Her cheery speech was cut off by the sight of Gundham, dick in hands, legs upwards, scrunching the tissue box, covered in small bits of white paper. There was a long, tense silence, before Ibuki started to walk backwards, shutting the door. As Gundham managed to one hand his dick over to a tissue and clean up, the door creaked open a little.

“You’re sleeping on the couch.”

* * *

 

Eventually she relents, but Gundham remembers how much of a rough sleeper she is and by rough sleeper, he mans she steals the covers off him subconsciously. It’s cute but also really annoying when he’s just trying to sleep.

Tonight, was one of those nights, and to make it worse, it was absolutely freezing. He thought maybe he should just go down to the couch afterall, as it’s not like this was any better, but for some reason he felt a twinge of guilt. He didn’t know why, he was just going downstairs to sleep, but something about that felt wrong. It was like he was tethered to her and that wasn’t that far from the truth.

As much as he left a lot of things unspoken, he really did adore her, she was like the bright ray of sunshine to melt his jet-black heart, the heat of her next to him would surely outlive the cold….

Okay it didn’t. He spent the rest of the night trying to wrestle the covers away from her.

 


	42. Makoto, Yasuhiro and Byakuya Commit Arson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NAEGI STARTED THE FIRE! IT WAS ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLD WAS TURNING!

“Yasuhiro, that’s stupid.”

“Yes, that is positively retarded.”

“What? Why?! I’m just saying, if push comes to shove, I could probably beat Mike Tyson six times out of ten.”

“…. You absolutely could not.’

“Well, actually…”

“Makoto you cannot possibly be humouring him.”

“I mean, if he runs around in a big circle and Mike chases him, eventually Tyson’s gonna get tired and Yasuhiro could just sucker punch him.”

“Exactly!”

Byakuya just sighed at his friends casually devolving brain function. The class was on their way to the market, in a lesson dependent on money management, each person was given $60 to spend at the local market and whoever spent the least amount of money got the highest mark.

Kyoko thought over this as she read through her notepad. She’d been scribbling down ideas for how to reduce the whole classes spending (Hifumi, Leon or Hiro were bound to break and buy something), before realizing that with Mr. Hjirihara counting the prices, they’d probably beat all the other classes anyway via cheating.

Something was putting her off though…every few minutes she’d hear Leon go up to a new girl, spouting off a pick-up line, delivered with the class of a corpse.

“Hey…let me swim into your heart!”

“Hey! Why don’t we go back to my place and do some **private** modelling?”

“Are you in the air-force? Because your hotter than the engine of a….20…F…S…F-SHIT!”

“I can’t **fight** my undying feelings for you!”

“Gamble my…. dick.”

Kyoko saw it fit upon herself to perform a mercy killing.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?” The baseball star seemed somewhat surprised by her actually talking to him.

“I mean, your lame pick-up lines.”

“Well…. Ya’ know how in high school you’re supposed to swing around with chicks? Well, I’m tryan’ do that know’, ‘scept I’m like doing it like that bit in Spider-Man where he tries to swing and fucks himself on a car.”

“And what made you think “Gamble my dick” was a snappy zinger that was gonna win over Celeste?”

“Oh, nah, but Yasuhiro said it was a good idea and he’s a smart guy.”

“That same Yasuhiro?” Kirigiri motioned over her shoulder bring both students attention to Makoto piggybacking on Yasuhiro as the latter shouted “1…2…3…4…5…” for every consecutive circle he made.

“…Okay, maybe listin’ to him wasn’t the **best** idea…”

“Understatement of the century, but it’s your lucky day, because I will endeavour to help you on this quest, just so I don’t have to look at you making a fool out of your self for the next six hours.”

“Wow! Really? Thanks’ Kyoko!”  

“No problem, now come on, we have to get something.”

The detective took a no-nonsense stride up to Toko, who was walking in front of them, and grabbed her hand, pulling her along.

“Come on, we’re going somewhere- “

“W-what?! W-w-were a-are y-you- “

* * *

 

Suffice to say, Toko didn’t really like being dragged off to help with Kuwatas romantic pursuits but Kyokos appraisal of her skills in romance (bullshit but she liked to hear it) was enough to turn her around for at least the rest of the day.

Currently, she was standing next to Makoto as Takumi explained the rules of the market, and suddenly, became randomly overcome with overwhelming thirst.

“H-Hey…do y-you h-have any w-water?”

 

Makoto made an “o?” with his mouth before turning into a light smile. “Yeah, pretty sure I have my bottle.” He reached into his backpack and took out a medium sized aluminium can.

“Have y-you u-used t-this?”

“Yeah, just screw off the top.”

“O-Oh.” She mentally smacked herself for missing something so obvious. She quickly took a few small sips from the bottle.

“Ahh, you two, sharing water. That’s cute.” Yasuhiros voice came launched into both of them like a full-on car crash. It was entirely unnecessary, but what he said next was the nail in the coffin for any un-awkwardness that was between them.  “ _Love is in the air_ ” He sang.

“WHAT?! No, we’re not- “Makoto started but blush quickly overcame his protests.

“I-it’s n-n-not like we’re d-d-dat…n-n-nothing l-like…”

“ _Sure_ ” Yasuhiro said, dismissively, before walking off. Toko embarrassingly gave the bottle back to Makoto, not even making eye contact before walking off herself, creating an air of awkwardness around her and the Luckster. 

* * *

 

Inside the market, there was a store that immediately radiated importance, the metaphorical crown jewel in the crown…it was the 24/7 mega-mart. They had everything, food, plants, hardware, toiletries, homeware, not illegal drugs (allegedly) and most important of all…

“Boxing gloves!”

“Yasuhiro, why on earth would you need boxing gloves?”

“So, I can be a legit shoot fighter.”

“…Makoto help he’s going catatonic.”

“Gotta agree with Byakuya here, ‘Hiro, why would you wanna go pro? Your whole strategy is running around in a circle until they tire out, how are you gonna do that in a tiny ring?”

“No, man, I can take hits and I can dish out hits. I’m like Rocky!”

“No…no you are nothing like Rocky.” Byakuya responded.

“Also, dude, you freeze, like, all the time.”

” I don’t **freeze**.” The clairvoyant responded defensively.

“You absolutely do Yasuhiro, we presented our book reports the other day and you stood still for 20 seconds before running out of the classroom and vomiting in the bathrooms.”

“That was a one-time thing.”

“Historically, no, it was not a one-time thing” Byakuya replied, looking over an array of fresh (according to the label) fruits.

“Whatever…hey, what the hell?”

“hmm?” Byakuya responded.

“What type of fruit is that?” Yasuhiro motioned to a pink orb in Byakuyas hand. “AHH! THE PESTICIDES HAVE INFECTED THE PLANTS!”

“Dude, that’s a peach.” Makoto stated, deadpan, as he shuffled through some different nick-nacks.

“…What?”

“Please don’t tell me you don’t know what a peach is.” If looks could kill, Byakuya just straight up pulled out a hand cannon and shoot the other boy in the chest.

“Ummmmmmm…I know what a peach is.” He obviously didn’t. Togami let out a massive sigh, before beginning to walk away.

“Come along Yasuhiro, let’s go to an actually freshly picked fruit stall so we can get you updated with 21st century culture. Naegi, don’t spend any money.”

* * *

 

“We need a target. If you could pick 1 girl in the whole of our class to go out with you…who would you pick?” Kirigiri sternly asked, as she and Leon sat on a coffee table, as Toko browsed the book store.

“Uhh…I’d be fine with anyone.”

“Oh? Is that right…” Kyokos expressions turned into one of evidently fake positivity. “If you walk into a room with a gun in your hands, what’s more effective, loosely taking small pathetic shots at everyone or just shooting one person?”

“Uhh…the second one?” Leon said, almost painfully.

“Yes Leon, THE SECOND ONE, SO PICK AN EXACT TARGET!”

“JESUS! UHH, UHH…SAYAKA! SAYAKAS GOOD! I LIKE SAYAKA!”

“Okay...Good.” Kyokos voice suddenly shifted to her normal, emotionless tone. “So, let’s get to work on Sayaka…”

* * *

 

Byakuya rested his gaze upon the fruit stall, eyeing an arrange of fruit decorating the glass display. It was certainly an impressive sight, but something that was generally useless to him until he found what he needed to find. Yes, they did have peaches, but he and Yasuhiro were spending a bit too much time creepily lurking and talking.

“Okay, Yasuhiro, sit back and let me do a little thing called “bargaining”.”

“Hey, listen, I know a thing or two about bargaining.”

“What do you know about bargaining?”

“Well you just dry hump the counter until they give you it for free.”

“…. No...no, that’s entirely wrong. Whatever, just let me do the bargaining, stay silent.”

“So, like a silent enforcer?”

“No, just a regular pedestrian standing next to me.”

“But hitting him with that wildcard element, right? Maybe a bit of this- “As he spoke, Yasuhiro made a motion that looked like his shoulder was dislocated.

“This? What is this?”

“You know, a bit of this…” Yasuhiros arm swinging intensified to the point that he was almost taking swings at his friend.

“Look just-Oh, hello sir!” Byakuya made a quick cut into the stall-front as he realized that it had been cleared off by the customers.

“How are you doing my kind sir?” The owner said in a high, British accent. The man was dressed in formal wear, a white shirt, sleeveless tuxedo and monocle. He was bald aside from a few straightened jetblack hairs.

“I’m doing well sir.” Byakuya responded.

“That’s great sir!”

“Three bags full sir!” Byakuya overly ecstatically said.

“Haha, well played. What can I do you for today?”

“Oh, just looking for a peach. You sell peaches?”

“Yes, we do, let me just…here, two dollars fifty.”

“Ohhh, that price is a bit high, can we go down to a dollar fifty?”

“I-I’m sorry, I don’t usually bargain-” The shopkeep started nervously.

“Price just dropped, a dollar.”

“What? No, you c-can’t…what is he doing?” He motioned over to Yasuhiro who was currently doing what someone very blind and deaf and generally just defective in every area would describe as shadowboxing.

“Stop.” The heir harshly whispered into Hagakure ear, who eased up on it, but didn’t want to seem unsubtle so he gradually eased back and, in the process, karate chopped the mans tip jar onto the ground. 

“W-what the hell?!”

“A dollar, take it or leave it.” Byakuya said, as if his companion hadn’t just smashed one of the man’s sources of income in a swift motion.

“Okay, one dollar, jeez.” The man nervously handed over the peach and Byakuya handed over the money, cockily handing passing it to Yasuhiro, who took a big bite out of it, only for his face to twist into one of disgust.

“This tastes like shit.”

“You just need to accommodate to the taste.”

“No, seriously, taste it.”

Byakuya sighed and took a bit from the opposite side of the peach, almost immediately recoiling. “This peach isn’t even ripe! That dealer scammed us! Hey…You!”

The mans facial expression turned into one of depression as he saw the duo approaching him. “What?”

“I demand a full refund.”

“You spent one dollar.”

“ **I demand a full refund**.”

“No! You payed for the food, you eat the food.”

“Excuse me? This is a disgrace on the Togami family name, you have scammed the Togami family name, I am the representation of the Togami family name!”

“Yeah!” Yasuhiro shouted, before running up to the counter and thrusting his genitals at the counter. The shopkeep shot them a withering look before reaching under the countertop, pressing a button which caused a massive metal plate to shoot out of the bottom, obscuring the students view.

* * *

 

“Here, I got the bouquet.” Leon came strutting out of the flower store confidently, holding a bunch of blue flowers.

“B-blue? R-really?” Toko asked.

“What, I thought she liked blue? That’s why she dyes her hair.”

“T-that’s her n-natural h-hair colour.”

There was an uncomfortable silence as Leons eyes began to skirt around the storefront, clearly questioning his very reality before Kirigiris icicle-like voice cut through his thoughts.

“That’s 10 flowers.”

“Y-yeah, I know you said 15, but I could save a bit of cash if i- “

“So is Sayaka worth less than your best Leon.”

“No, it’s j-just- “

“Buy a whole new one.”

“No, that’s waste of money, I already have 10 good ones right here!”

Kirigiri forced herself up from her seat, marched over to him, smacked the flowers out of his hands and deleiverd several sharp stomps to the bouquet, completely destroying it.

“And know you have none.” She said sternly, prompting Kuwata to groan and walk back into the store.

“G-going a bit h-hard on him, aren’t you?”

* * *

 

“He disgraced my family name Naegi. _My family name!_ ”

“Calm down, we can get this guy back.” Makoto said calmly, as he sorted through a shelve of books.

“Let me take a shot at him.” Yasuhiro said enthusiastically. “I’ll knock him out with one punch.”

“That’s a horrible idea.”

“Yeah, Yasuhiro, you’re all cardio. Since when do you have any striking skills at all.”

“ _Dude,_ I’ve watched a shit ton of Fist of The North Star, just trust me!”

“You imbecile, that’s- “Togamis anger winded up but Naegi managed to convert it into simple steam.

“Well, it’s worth a shot, we’ll get the dollar back anyway.”

“…Hmph, fine. You better not freeze.”

The group stealthily made their way back to the stand, stalking from a distance. Byakuya made a motion with his hands that meant stay low, as he monitored the situation. Eventually, the fruit vendor made his way to the back of the stall, prompting the team to stealthily run over and vault the counter.

“HAHA! Your cornered now!” Byakuya announced as he walked into the back room proudly.

“Ahh! What are you people doing in my stall?” The man asked, panicked.

“You will rue the day you spat on the Togami family name! Get him Yasuhiro!”

“Okay let’s do this AAAAH- “At first his tone was confident, but it was almost like someone pressed pause on him.

“He froze.” Makoto said, terror rising in his voice.

“Oh, for god’s sake!”

“IM CALLING SECURITY!”

Almost instinctively, Byakuyas foot shot out and hit the man clean in the jaw, sending his limp body tumbling to the ground.

“JESUS CHRIST BYAKUYA!”

“What?”

“What do you mean what?! You just knocked him out.”

“So?”

“So, we’re gonna get arrested for assault and battery!”

“Now that’s were your mistaken, see, he’s going to be so terrified when he wakes up, that he’ll refuse to tell the authorities. We’ll just sneak out and go on our merr- “

It was at this moment when the man with the remote came back from getting some snacks, pulled out his TV remote and unpaused Yasuhiro.

“AHHHH!” The taller boy lunged at the vendors previous position hitting nothing but a gas tank which trickled down to the ground…lighting the carpet on fire.

“Yasuhiro! What the actual fuck?!” Byakuya screamed, language uncharacteristically tainted.

“Huh? Wait…what happened?!”

“You set the place ablaze!”

“Don’t worry! I’ve got the extinguisher!” Makoto screamed, bolting over to the flames, wielding the bright red object. He closed his eyes, took aim and let out a mighty… _drip, drip, drip_.

Small drops of liquid came shooting out of the nozzle. The luckster let out a small “huh?” and put an eye to the hole, only for a **torrent** of white foam to come bursting out, completely coating his whole head in snow-like substance.

“We’re screwed!” Makoto yelled, almost tittering into hyperventilating.

“YEAH, FUCK, IMAGINE WHEN THE SCHOOL HEARS ABOUT THIS, WE’LL BE EXPELLED.”

“Well maybe if someone hadn’t…whatever, just do what I say. Yasuhiro, take the body, grab that big bag over there, load him up. Makoto…I don’t know, stealthily exit from the premises.”

“O-Okay…” Makoto said, colour draining from his face, as he commando rolled over the floor.

 _He shouldn’t worry, everything’s going to be fine_. Byakuya thought to himself.

* * *

 

The entire marketplace had been engulfed in flames, fire spreading by the minute, as the class stood outside on the barren brownish wasteland. Hajirihara had decided, since arson had already broken out completely, it would be a decent experience if he sat the children down and let them watch the burning wreckage while he went to the 7/11 near them to get some coffee.

Byakuya observed his friends and immediately realized that them getting caught was just a matter of time. Makoto was currently so on-edge he would blow up at the slightest bit of attention and Yasuhiro was doing the old “lean back, whistle and hope no-one realizes I’m trying to act natural” routine.

This was going to be very bad.

“Hey Makoto!” Asahina said, causing Makoto to practically jump out of his seat.

“HIASAHINA”

“Huh? What’s up with you?”

“NOTHING…Nothing’s u-up with me…MAYBE SOMETHINGS UP WITH YOU!” Makoto then spun on his heel and bolted away, towards the set-up bathroom.

* * *

 

“Moment of truth Leon.” Kirigiri coldly stated, as the baseball star pumped himself up. “You fail here, you have struck out with every single member of the class.”

“Except you guys, right?” He asked, momentarily taking himself out of the moment.

“You struck out as soon as we met.” The lavender haired detective bluntly stated, as Toko nodded in agreement. “Don’t fuck this up.” She added, before walking off.

Leon sighed, and browsed over to where Sayaka was.

“D-don’t l-listen to h-her advice.” Toko quickly said, causing Leon to spin back around to face her.

“Huh?”

“K-Kyokos advice is t-totally wrong. J-just be…y-yourself.”

“Y-yeah, see I knew it!”

“Y-your p-pick u-up lines still s-suck though.”

‘Damn it!” He stomped his foot on the ground. “Thanks for your advice anyway, now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date to catch.”

Leon dashed off, just as quickly as Kyoko walked back over.

“Is he going for it?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“He’s gonna fuck it up.”

“M-maybe he w-won’t. L-Leons nice.”

“Nice doesn’t cut it. If a boy comes on with “nice” as his main trait, he’s using you.”

“…W-w-w-what?”

“It’s true, why else would they initially be so nice to people **they don’t even know**. It’s pelvic sorcery.” She said with a smirk.

“O-Oh…i-is t-that right?”

* * *

 

This situation was in dire straits, Makoto was wound up like a clock and Yasuhiro had resorted to kicking the bag every so often to get it too hold still. Byakuya observed the clump of students, and started calculating every possible way to weasel out of this situation…that was until he felt a tug on his sleeve.

“Byakuya…” Makoto said in a very low tone. “I have no plausible deniability.”

“…. What?”

“I HAVE NO PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY MAN!”

At this point, the lucksters loud voice was creating a scene, and many of the classmate’s eyes turned to the duo.

“Now Naegi, calm down...”

“Without plausible deniability what am I?!”

Chatters started breaking out among the crowd. Byakuya prayed one of them would do something stupid, and his wish was granted.

“MMPH, MMPH, MMPH!”

“Dude, just get back into the bag.”

Yasuhiro was currently chasing the previously captured man, who had been gagged and tied up, around. The clairvoyant manged to crash tackle him to the ground but just as quickly, Asahina rushed up, shoved him off and ungagged the man.

“Hiro! What kind of weird ass bondage thing are you running here?!”

“THEY KIDNAPPED ME!” The man exclaimed, still very shell shocked by natural light as he motioned to Yasuhiro, Byakuya and Makoto. “KNOCKED ME OUT AND TORTURED ME!”

“Ah, ah, ah…” Byakuya very quickly started “There was no torture, don’t lie!”

“HE DID!” The man repeated, waving his arm at Yasuhiro.

“I did not, dude I was just trying to get you a drink of water.”

The crowd hushed, as Byakuyas brow furrowed.

“Was he still in the bag?” He asked quietly.

“Huh?”

“Was he still in the bag?” Byakuya repeated with more force behind it as Makoto hyperventilated in his lunch bag

“…Yeah.”

“Yasuhiro…YOU WERE WATERBOARDING HIM.” Makotos lunchbag puffs got faster and faster.

“No, I wasn’t…I don’t even see a waterboard here!”

“THAT’S SURFBOARDING!” Makotos lunchbag popped from the sheer force of his output

“Hey, if you tied this guy up, it’s pretty safe to assume you started the fire, right?” Sayaka said, concerned look on her face.

The three simultaneous responses were very different.

“That’s a ridiculous claim!”

“Yeah, but we didn’t mean too.”

Makoto made an exhale that sounded like a rifle shot.

“Heathens!” Sakura said. “Can you believe the consequences you would face if you had killed someone!”

“But we didn’t.” Byakuya spat back.

“It doesn’t matter! You put lives at risk, so now you will risk yours! I formally challenge you to mortal kombat!”

“…What?” Togami asked, smirk breaking out on his face. “In what world do you expect us to accept.”

“The rules are simple.” Sakura bulldozed through his words like a…bulldozer. “One of you three will step up to face me. If you accept the challenge, this incident will be forgotten. If all three of you forfeit, you will be anywhere between suspended and expelled.”

Makoto meekly raised his hand to volunteer, but Byakuya slapped it down. He was not gonna let his… best friend take the fall for him and Yasuhiros fuck up. Really, this was on him…. but Yasuhiro had started the fire, and he was not in the mood for being beat up by someone who outweighed him by around 150 pounds.

“No! None of us are willing to do that! We’ll just take the suspension!” The clairvoyant shouted hastily, clearly nervous.

“Hold that thought Yasuhiro…You’re the toughest guy I know.” Byakuya cut in.

“Well…. yeah, but, you know, she’s a girl.”

“So, you’re saying you can’t beat a girl?” Yasuhiro had walked into an ego-wrapped spiders web.

“…I can take her.”

“You can take her.”

“LET’S GO.”

“That’s the spirit!” With a confident smile, Yasuhiro turned to face Sakura. They stacked up, and punches were about to be thrown when suddenly, Taika ran into the middle of the scuffle to break it up.

“Guys, guys, guys! I cannot just let students come to blows…” Wow, for once he was actually properly wielding his duty of car- “Without setting up a proper fight night. Come on, two lines, one on the actual fighter, one on the stoner, let’s go, let’s go. Maizono, can you be ring announcer?”

It’s pretty easy to guess who won.

* * *

 

“Hey!”

“Hey?” Sayaka looked up at a visibly nervous Leon, who had uncasually walked up to her, stench of cheap perfume wafting off him.

“Y-Yeah…. I just wanted to ask you- “

“Out on a date, right?”

“…Yeah. How did you- “

“Psychic.”

“…Reall- “

“No.” She said, laughing. “I just have good intuition.”

“Oh, hahaha…so?”

“So, what?”

“Do you wanna go out with me?”

There was a long, tense silence as Sayaka just starred at him, face twisting and eyes squinting several times before she lightly smiled.

“Yeah, okay.”

“Damn it…Wait, what?!”

“I’ll go out with you.”

“So, are we dating?”

“Maybe, depends on how the first date is…obviously.”

“Oh shit, sorry.”

“Already regretting this.”

“No! No! No! I can- “His protests were quickly cut off by a faint laugh from the idol. He felt weirdly relaxed around her, maybe it was the physic telepathy messing with his head. Was that how it worked? Probably.

* * *

 

Makoto could not have been gladder to dodge the bullet that was expulsion and arson charges. As he took a spiritual victory lap back to the bus he spied Toko sitting by herself, on one of those wooden benches they put everywhere.

Was telling her he loved her correct? Yes. Was it the right time to do it? No, but god damn, he was filled with adrenaline and was thinking about as straight as a snake wrapped around a clothesline. He speedily took the seat next to her.

“Hey.”

“H-Huh? O-O-Oh.” Her face…fell when she saw him.

‘Crazy today, huh?” She half nodded in agreement barley making eye contact. His face was suddenly stricken with a look of concern.

“Hey is everything okay? You seem tense.” And in this moment, he made the biggest mistake of a day that involved burning down an entire market place, and torturing a store vender…he slipped his hand onto hers. Immediately, Toko recoiled in disgust.

“Get away from me!” She practically screamed launching herself off the bench. “I will not submit to your…pelvic sorcery, Makoto Naegi!” With that, Toko took a sharp left turn in the other direction, running off and leaving a confused Makoto in her wake.

“…Was it something I said?”


	43. Basketball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Class 77 and 79 face off in a friendly game of basketball (Also yes, this chapters concept and some of the jokes are intentional homages to The Office.)

The Hopes Peak Multi-Class Basketball jamboree was an annual event that pitted the oldest class in the school against the newest one in a good old-fashioned game of 5-on-5 B-Ball.

Currently Chisa was picking out her team, representing the Class 77, as they huddled in the classroom.

“Well, let’s get the obvious ones out of the way first. Akane, you’re my first pick!”

“Right on coach!” Akane said with a smile, holding a thumbs up.

 “My second pick will beeeeee…Peko!”

“I will take this honour very seriously Miss Yukizome…my pride and my honour will work simultaneous with my bla- “

“My third pick is… oh, obviously, Hajime!”

The brunette’s eyes widened and he looked up from his books with a confused expression.

“Wait, why “obviously”?” He asked only for his girlfriend to fill in the blanks.

“Are you seriously that lacking in self-confidence? It’s because you played basketball in junior high, obviously.” Mahiru said with a small smile at Hajimes modesty…only it wasn’t intentional.

“…I never played basketball during high school.”

“Oh haha.” Koizumi sarcastically spat back.

“What? Seriously I never played basketball.”

“Hajime, this isn’t funny.” Chisa said sternly.

“Jesus Christ! I never played basketball! I played soccer, sure, but not basketball. I’ll do it anyway though, don’t worry about it.”

Mahiru looked absolutely dumbstruck as she stared on in disbelief, which was replicated by almost everyone in the room except Nagito, who was too busy looking up grape sunkist can to care.

“W-well…anyway, my fourth pick is Nekomaru, obviously. You’ll be our main strategist.”

“I will kill the competition!” He laughed out causing everyone in the room to freeze.

“…do you mean crush?” Chiaki asked.

“Oh, yeah! What did I say?”

“Doesn’t matter. Fifth pick is…okay, who want’s it?”

 Kazuichis hand shot up like a bottle rocket, earning a confused look from Miss Chisa.

“Hmm…really Kazuichi?”

“What?”

“Do you have any prior experience with basketball before?”

“Nah, not really but I have a little hoop at home for my parts. When a part breaks, I just chuck it through the hoop into this little basket thing.”

There was a long silence before Hiyoko finally spoke up, unimpressed.

“Those are made for little 5-year olds with ADD.”

Once again, the uncomfortable silence returned as Soudas whole world seemed to crash around him, his face falling and reconstructing a few times before Chisa re-railed the conversation.

“Okaaaaaaay, Souda you’re on the team.”

“Yes! Miss Sonia! I made the team.”

“Wow, you made a team for a high school basketball, where Miss Yukizome literally couldn’t refuse you, I am extremely impressed.” Sonia said, sarcasm seeping from her voice, stunning the whole classroom with the pure contempt that leaked from her tone…

“See! So, you do get it!” The mechanic said gleefully.

“Well that’s that, no need to keep going, teams set. Mitari, your sub.”

“Huh?”

Ryota, who’d been thoroughly enticed in a conversation with Imposter, that he’d only half been paying attention as he was faced with one of his darkest fears…sport.

* * *

 

“Hey guys, big day today gang!” A clearly on-edge Kizakura said, walking into the class.

“Wow, Mr. K, you’re not drunk! That’s amazing!” Kokichi said.

“Well, Kokichi, big stakes tonight.”

“Hasn’t Mr. Munkata promoted this game as “no stakes?”” Kaede asked confusedly.

“Well, the winning coach get’s a $50-dollar voucher to a Chilis-To-Go and I kinda need that, or else I can’t eat.”

“But I thought you had tones of money left over.” The pianist said.

“Well I did but you know…fines.”

“Oh, what did they do you in for?” Rantaro piped up, with newfound curiosity.

“Well, let me tell you kids something about the law…” The whole class turned their faces to the front, in stunned interest. “It’s an unfair world with the law in charge. First your friend Bill comes to you with an amazing business idea, then you’re telling all your friends about that business idea and the next thing you know, your apart of a pyramid scheme!”

“Wow, the world we live in.” Ouma replied, shaking his head.

“Basically, I need the money or I’m going home to a dinner costing of Garlic and a single green olive, that I’m pretty sure has been in my fridge since before I moved in. Let’s get to it…”

“Ohhh! Ohhhh!” Kokichi shouted waving his hands manically in the air. “Make me captain, coach.”

“…Why would I do that?”

“I’ve got an eye for strategy! You remember that time I…”

“Stop! You’re not going to let up, are you?”

“Nope! Besides, my basketball technique is flawless.”

“Whatever. The Line up is this, team captain Kokichi, Rantaro…you played basketball in junior high, didn’t you?”

“Yep.” He said nonchalantly, trying to hide the fact that getting to play again excited him.

“Wow! Rantaro you used to play?” Kaede asked, excitedly.

“Just a bit…made it to the state championships once.”

“That’s amazing! So…what’s Kokichis ceiling.”

“Oh, I’ve played pick-up with Kokichi, his technique consists of throwing half court shots while screaming the names of famous basketball players.”

“Oh. My. god!” She managed to stammer out through laughter. “Does he think it summons their power?”

“Maybe.” He replied, looking down at Ouma who was scuffling around with Himiko.

“Ha! I’m team captain, now you have to do whatever I say Himiko!”

“You’re only the team captain of the basketball team, which I’m not a part of. I’m not under your stupid rule!” She said playfully.

“Ahh! Himiko…you’ve wounded me!” Ouma small outburst turned into an outcry of giggles from the mage, who couldn’t fight a small smile coming to their lips.

“Okay, line up goes as follows. Kokichi, Rantaro, Maki- “

“Lame.”

“Gonta- “

“Gonta will win game for team!”

“and Saihara.”

“Huh?” Shuichi said shocked. He hated sports, with every fibre of his being. It was long, and boring and he got tired really easily. “Why me?”

“Oh, cause you used to wear that sports cap all the time.” Kizakura said, paying his nails more attention than the detective.

This brought Shuichi to a debilitating moral dilemma. Admit he didn’t know it was a sports cap and look like a moron…or play the game...he chose the second.

“Yeah, I’ll play.”

“Great! Keebo, your sub!”

* * *

 

“Okay guys! 25 minutes for a warm up, let’s go!” Chisa exclaimed as she strode out in her tracksuit. The class spread onto the court, some taking the bleachers, some onto the court.

Hajime put his ball down on the ground before closing his eyes. He imagined the pitch, the black and white hue of the ball…making a running start, he tensed and made a wild kic-

“This isn’t soccer you know.”  Mahiru’s voice pierced through his concentration like an arrow through a helmet.

“Yeah…I know.”

“You better not start kicking goals on the field.”

“I don’t think I will.” Hajime said with a hint of humour.

“I’m serious Hajime, I’ve got some real high-rise bets landing on this game.” Her serious tone was betrayed by a small smile, managing to slip onto her face.

“Oh really?” He said jokingly, taking a shot while she continued talking.

“Yeah, wall street’s gonna be blowing up…the other team better take a dive if they know what’s good for them…”

The couple let out a small laugh, before Hajime shot her a confused smile.

“Wow, where did this come from?”

“Where did what come from?”

“You’re joking around and stuff…it’s cute.”

“I always joke around with you.” She replied with a pout, nervously looking the other direction.

“Yeah, but not so “in your face” with it”

“So? Is that a problem?”

“No…I kinda like “in your face” Mahiru.” 

The photographer mumbled “moron” but couldn’t halt the smile and blush breaking out on her face.

* * *

 

Keebo was nervous, as he aimed up a shot on the court. He couldn’t say he quite got this game. There was…a hoop…and you had to put the ball in the hoop…and other people would-

“Hey…the fuck are you doing?” The loudmouth voice of Miu Iruma came blasting into his ears.

“Ah, Miu!”

“Yeah, that’s my name. Hey, are you not getting it or something?”

“Hmm…I can’t say I am.” The robot replied honestly, shrugging.

“Here, let me show you.” Miu walked closer, grabbing his arms softly. She gently brought him around. “See, you wanna aim for that hoop up there. Whenever you move with the ball be sure to bounce i- “

“Hey! Kee-Boy! What the fuck is this slut teaching you?” Kokichi interrupted, rushing over to his friend. He slapped the ball out of the pair’s hands, and proceeded to do the weakest basketball finger spin on planet earth, before passing the ball back.

“Everything this bitch is telling you, is bullshit.”

“Knock it off you little runt!” Miu started angrily only to be shushed by Ouma.

“Oh? Did I ask for Miu Iruma? “TESTING, TESTING, MIU IRUMA?” No! No, I didn’t. Your name was not said, there for you are a non-factor.”

“J-jeez, s-sor **ry**.” She said quietly, as Keebo shoot her an apologetic look.

“See Kee-boy, when you’re on the court, there’s only one move you need. No shooting, no dribbling…just do this when I say to…” Keebo leaned in closely, as Kokichi skirted around him so his back was facing Miu. The smaller boys’ legs shifted into place and he hunched over “Two steps and an elbow!” He yelled, thrusting his aforementioned body part back at Miu who barely managed to dodge it.

“Hey! What the hell?!”

“TWO STEPS AND AN ELBOW!” He screamed again, with corresponding action prompting Miu to storm away in a huff. “When I scream that, just start doing that, you got it.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Keebo said with dismay.

Meanwhile, Maki was starting her warm up. Just a few sit ups, hops, skippin-She sensed eyes burning into the back of her head. Quickly turning her head around, her eyes met Shuichis for a split second, before the detectives shot away, pretending to be looking at the ceiling.

“Were you staring at me?”

“Nope.”

“You’re a book of lies.”

“I-I wasn’t!”

“You should spend more time practicing your basketball, last time I saw you exercise at all, you were taking time-outs after 5 minutes.”

“S-seven and a half.”

“Irrelevant. How are you gonna catch bad guys if you can’t run?”

“I-I-I-I have a partner.”

“Oh, who’s your partner?”

“M-Mike Myers!” He blurted out, realizing maybe saying the first name that popped into his head wasn’t the greatest idea.

“So, what your telling me is that when you do detective work, your partner is Mike Myers from Austin Powers?”

“…yes.”

Makis cold stare melted, and she let out a small laugh, leaning over to give Shuichi a kiss on the cheek.

“Don’t blow it out there okay?”

“Okay.” Shuichi mumbled.

* * *

 

Fuyuhiko had been starring out into space for a while, not at anything in particular, he just liked looking out onto basketball courts where Peko was practicing…wait.

“Getting an eyeful, creep?” Hiyokos voice came piercing into his subconscious.

“Just watching the practice, ya’ little shit.” He replied, a little too intensely.

“Ha! _Sure._ Your head over heels for her!”

“Like you’d fucking know!”

“Nlow…she’s tlotaly ‘wit!” Another voice came from his side. The pair turned their heads to see Akane gorging herself a number of delicacies.

“The fuck are you doing?” Fuyuhiko and Hiyoko both said simultaneously.

“It’s called carbo loading.” Akane managed to get in between bite.

“That’s…not what carbo loading is.” Hiyoko said.

“Oh, no, it is! I store up the energy when I eat food, and then that energy builds up, ready to EXPLODE!”

“You’re gonna get a stomach ache.” Fuyuhiko started.

“No way! The energy let’s me push through any pain!”

“It won’t.” He flat out stated.

“Well, we’ll see who’s laughing when I win the game for the team!” Akane shouted excitedly.

If you took a few steps down, you’d notice Mitari, sitting next to Imposter and Mikan, shaking his arms around like he had one too many energy drinks

“Ryota, you have to calm down…” Imposter started, but he was cut off by the animator’s frantic pace.

“Are you serious?! Do you know the amount of sports deaths a year...It’s a lot!”

“I-I’m sure y-you’ll do g-great M-Mitari.” Mikan nervously stated, only for her to indirectly take the heat away from Imposter.

“Oh? How are you sure?! ARE YOU A TELEPATH? YOU CAN’T BE SURE! AHHH! I LOVE YOU AND I NEED SOME WATER!” He screamed running off, leaving Mikan shocked.

“Well…at least he’s active.” Imposter smarmily said, earning a small laugh from Mikan.

Across the court, Nagito and Chiaki were snuggled up under the gamers hoddie, which she was using as a blanket for the duo. Nanamis eyes were laser focused on the game, fingers smashing the buttons skilfully but something was bothering her…the constant clink of metal, and it wasn’t her controller.

She looked to the side to see Nagito tossing his soda up in the air, occasionally dropping it.

“What are you doing babe?” She asked, barley taking her eyes off the screen.

“Nothing.”

“I mean, why are you not drinking the soda.”

Nagitos expression turned to shocked and he looked taken aback. “Nanami…I’m offended…this is not just a soft drink, this is the creme de la crème, the peak of the mountain, this is a Sunkist grape!”

“Oh…ok.” She replied, clearly confused as to why she was supposed to care.

“The carbonated, delicious, fizzy taste…Oh, look a mouse.” This got Nanamis attention, and she turned her head to see the small grey creature sitting there.

“Oh! Nagito, he’s so cute!”

“Yeah, he really i- “

Then Nagito made his third biggest mistake of the day…he placed the can of soft drink on the ground. Without a second thought, the mouse lunged towards the metallic object, quickly shifting it onto it’s back and dashing off, leaving Nagito with a sad expression and a laughing girlfriend.

* * *

 

It was time for the game, and the classes packed into the arena, excited for the game (all sans Nagito, who was noticeably absent.) The 79th wasn’t quite ready yet, as Kokichi came over to the stands, motioning to Kaede.

“Hey! Hey! Kaede! Can you like, cheerlead us?” He asked, hinting tone underlying through his voice.

“W-wh-what d-do you even…” Kaede started, blush rising on his face. Luckily, Rantaro had taken notice, quickly scouting over to intercept the pair.

“Hey Kokichi…”

“Hmm?”

“I could cheerlead, ya know, put on a skirt…with pigtails.” 

Kaedes face turned from flushed embarrassment into uproarious laughter, Kokichi sweat dropping all the meanwhile. Across the court however, a different conversation was brewing.

Makis eyes had been laser focused on the court as Kizakura and Chisa walked up to the court.

“Hello everyone!” The housekeeper said, her overly cheery tone annoying Harukawa, who rolled her eyes, only to hear a harsh whisper to her back.

“Maki!” The voice said. She turned her head around to see Gonta nervously standing there. She softly smiled upon seeing the entomologists face.

“What’s up?”

“G-gonta not know how to play this game!” He said, nerves clearly racked.

“Gonta! Why didn’t you say any of this before?” She asked scoldingly.

_“I hope everyone on the court today performs their very best!”_

“Gonta did not want to let down team!”

_“Now remember guys! This game is for fun.”_

_“And for my dinner, haha…”_

“Well, you have to take the ball and throw it in the hoop, but you have to bounce the ball if you want to move with the ball.”

“So, you bounce ball into hoop?”

“No! You have to…just watch me, you’ll pick it up.”

“Okay, thank you Maki!”

_“ **BEGIN!”**_

* * *

 

Nagito needed a few tools. nothing too out there…just a snack, a pocket knife, a mask and the components that made Chlorine gas. Somebody robbed him of something and he was determined to get that thing back.

He walked through the corridor, holding all the aforementioned items. Just needed some time to prep the vents is all but fate wasn’t going to allow him that time uninterrupted, as he came face-to-face with Chiaki.

“What are you doing?”

“Oh, not much just…”

“Trying to get your soda back?”

“…Yeah. “

“Well…don’t hurt yourself, ‘kay?” She replied, deadpanned.

“…God, I love you so much.”

“I know.” She tried to play it off as she walked away, but blush still fell upon her face.

* * *

 

Things were looking grim for the 79. That was a phrase that would normally be reserved for the end of a game, but it was fitting for just how badly it was going for them right now.

Akane and Nekomaru had been controlling the game, slamming the ball through the hoop more times than Kiazakura could count. There was no way his team was winning this one especially with Kokichis…odd style of play…

“ **MICHEAL JORDAN**!”

“ **KOBE BRYANT**!”

“ **TOOOOOOOOM BRAD** -Wait, he’s not a basketball player…that’s probably why I missed that shot.”

Things were in dire straits, but Koichi Kizakura was not one to take defeat standing down. He walked over to Korekiyo and whispered in the boy’s ear.

“Psst, Shinguiji…”

“Hmm?”

“There’s an ice cream truck that comes around her every day…I need you to find it and highjack it, lure these two off the field and lock them in there.”

“What’s in it for me?” The lanky boy asked, more interested in his hand tape than anything Kizakura was saying.

“I mean…there’s always stuff in the truck that people are allowed to “take”” he said with a wink.

“…I don’t understand what you mean.”

“C’mon dude, it’s the implication.”

“What’s the implication?”

“Stealing the ice cream from the truck.”

“Oh so, we’re stealing now?”

“No…no! No one said stealing.”

“You said stealing.”

“I did not say- “

“Oh, so high jacking, kidnapping and forced imprisonment are fine, but stealing is where you draw the line?”

“Uh…”

“And not only this…instead of giving me any monetary or emotional incentive, you try to tempt me with free ice cream.”

“…. okay, here.” Kizakura took out his wallet and fished through the ranks of his noticeably light wallet.  “You can have…2 dollars andddd a $35 voucher for the supermarket I go to.”

“This is an hour drive away…and expired...”

“Kiyo just do it.”

“Fine.”

Akane then dunked the ball.

* * *

 

Nagito knew he should be supporting Hinata and the game but this was just too important. He **needed** that drink, he thought, as he crawled through the pitch-black vents, flash light in one hand, knife in the other.

It was then when the smell hit him. It was faint, and most people who brushed smelt it probably wouldn’t notice, but most people who smelt it hadn’t just used a eucalyptus acid solution to clear out their nostrils.

“Jackpot” he said to himself, as he zoned in on the mouse.

* * *

 

Korekiyo would never commit murder, not in his wildest dreams…but he knew how. He knew how to do a lot of crimes, so scaring an ice cream man out of a truck was childs play.

He walked up, and executed the first step…heavy eye contact. Not too obvious but he needed the ice cream man to know he was staring at him. Secondly, he pulled out his phone and pretended to take a call.

“Hmm? Yes, I’m in the spot…yes he’s here.” He stated loudly, meeting the mans gaze through the window of his truck.

“Excuse me? Kill him?! I thought…no, no, that is dreadful…I get he crossed the mafia…” He shot a quick look at the man, who was currently looking on the verge of shitting himself.

“Okay, well at least he can’t run, since we already have the explosive in the van.”

Korekiyo let out a satisfied sigh as he heard the click of the door handle and the mans running footsteps, although he was slightly concerned about how badly that would’ve gone for the vendor if he was actually part of the mafia.

With that, he climbed in the van and hit the ignition, driving off towards hopes peak.

Back on the court, the sound of the familiar jingle filled the air causing Akanes attention to become focused on the distant music.

“OH MY GOD! ICE CREAM MAN!” The class initially laughed, but the humorous murmurs quickly turned concerned as Akane practically bolted off the court. 

“Wait, Owari, get me a rocket pop!” Nekomaru yelled.

“Root beer pop, got it!” She called back

“No, that’s not, ahh, shit, I’ll come with you!” He said joining the gymnast in the act of completely abandoning their team.

“Uhh! Guys get back here you can’t just- “Chisa started but realised the futility of the situation almost immediately. “Get Mitari on the field…wait, where’s Mitari.”

“Oh, he went to the bathroom…30 minutes ago.” Imposter said, clicking a stopwatch.

“Well, ok, uh…you go get him, we’ll play 3 on 5”

It was then that Rantaro synched the shot.

* * *

 

**_CREAK! CREAK! CREAK!_ **

The mouse ran, drink on its back, desperately making its way through the vents. As much as it wanted to keep going, the fumes were slowly getting to it, stiffening the air from its lungs. Jesus Christ, who was this guy?

It was then the mouse saw the light and the end of the tunnel…it’s one chance at escape, it ran and ran and ran…then it hit the lighter. Nagito smirked from beneath his mask, as a blazing inferno encompassed the vent.

* * *

 

“Hajime, dude, we’re getting destroyed!” Kazuichi screamed, as Rantaro calmly stepped up and took another shot, sinking the ball into the hoop.

“Can kinda see that.”

“He’s right though, Hinata. We have no defence.” Peko, who had been holding up the team through skill, but even she couldn’t fight off a 3v5 situation.

The former reserve course scouted the situation before sighing and looking at his teammates. “Okay, fine, here’s how a **soccer** player does it.” Hajime walked up to Rantaro, Hajime grabbed at the other boys armed, Rantaro pulled back, Hajime threw himself to the ground.

” AHH! HE ELBOWED ME IN THE HEAD!” Hinata screamed out in fake agony. Chisa let out an entirely real gasp, obviously unfocused on the actual game.

“You, green hair, off the field!” She screamed.

“You’re kidding? I didn’t even touch him.” Rantaro replied, seriously confused as how Chisa could possibly believe Hajimes accusations, maybe because the attorney was halfway across the court.

“Uhhh…Chisa let’s reconsider this.” Kizakura started, before he was cut off.

“He just elbowed one of my players!”

“Yeah…but you know, adrenaline- “

“Nope. He’s off.”

“Fine. Keebo, you’re on.”

From the sidelines, Kaede felt a sad sensation as she watched Rantaro. She was absolutely expecting him to throw a fit over this, but the adventurer sombrely smiled and made his way back to the bleachers.

* * *

 

“Hey Miss Sonia, did you see that?”

“Miss Sonia! I got it for a sec!”

“DID YOU SEE THAT PASS!”

Kazuichi had taken it upon himself to give Sonia a personal play-by-play of his accomplishments. This, combined with the fact that the game had taken a turn for the “slow as shit”, was obviously gonna cause a neutral observer to crack down and crack down she did.

“Miss Sonia! Did you- “

“Yes. Yes, I did Kazuichi, I saw every bit of that and I do not care in the slightest. Your pathetic attempts to impress me have done nothing but cause irritation, so maybe stop trying ever so hard to embarrassingly exert yourself”

There was a long, hard silence as Kazuichi slunk down in his beanie.

“Okay, okay.” He muttered out, standing in place. Sonia sighed in disappointment, but a small cracking sound diverted her attention to the ceiling perpendicular to Soudas head. The metallic vent above seemed to seize and surge, causing Sonias eyes to widen.

“Kazuichi…move.”

“Oh? I’m sorry, moving right now would lead to me embarrassingly exert myself.”

“No! Kazuchi get out of the…” Sonia started but it was too late, the vent imploded, launching a barrage of debris at Soudas head, knocking him out cold. Along with the chunks of building, a small rodent, a purple can of drink and…Nagito. The boy smashed down to the court, drink falling directly into his palms. The mouse, realising it was a losing fight, bolted towards the exit leaving Nagito spread out on the floor, who let out a small sigh of triumph.

“OH MY GOD! Nagito?! Are you Ok?” Chisa shouted.

“I’m good.” He murmured, slowly picking himself up from the floor.

“Well that’s great, but Kazuichi is obviously not. Tanaka, can you go take him to the sick bay?”

“Certainly.”

“And Komaeda…” Chisa was cut off by the sound of the Nanamis clicking footsteps, as she approached Nagito.

“Did you just blow up a vent?” She asked, tone cold and callous.

“…. It was a controlled burn.”

“My dorm. 5 minutes.”

“Nanami…”

“ **My dorm. 5 minutes**.” She shouted forcefully, leaving a slightly terrified Nagito in her wake.

* * *

 

“Just for fun” they’d said. “No stakes” they said. _Bullshit_ Maki thought, as she sulked off the court. That boy in the ridiculous overblown tie, had thrown himself to the ground again, getting her taken off the court for a penalty. The game was almost completely tied up, as without Maki, Gonta was the only player consistently able to get ball control.

This of course caused a lot of yelling to be had. Chisa and Kizakura, the two classes, there seemed to be mass uproar, which of course was very overwhelming for someone like Keebo.

He was stood there, frozen, trying to block out all the voices that were being inserted into his brain. It was a massively overwhelming feeling, especially when he saw Hajime barrelling down the field, basketball clutched in his hands. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know what to-

“KEE-BOY! TWO STEPS AND AN ELBOW!” Oumas voice boomed out.

And with that, Keebos body moved on its own, tracing Hajimes movements perfectly, he walked backwards in sync with the boy before a massive elbow to the face connected, sending Hajime spiralling to the floor.

“AH! FUCKING HELL!” He shouted.

“O-O-OH MY GOD! I’M SO SORRY!” Keebo screamed, as Hajime went legitimately crashing to the ground.

“Oh…fuck…fuck…I kinda deserved that.” Hajime said

“Both of you! Of the field!” Chisa screamed from across the court, causing Keebo, in a display of good sportsmanship.

“Seriously?” Peko asked, realising she was now facing a 3vs1 situation. Oh, this was not going to be fun.

* * *

 

Nanamis dorm was usually a pretty fun place to be, with her games all sprawled out over the floor but right now, Nagito did not want to be any where near here.

“Why do you do this?” Chiaki asked sternly, after what felt like hours of silence.

“Huh?”

“I tell you “yeah, go up and get that mouse, but don’t hurt yourself” and what do you do? You fire bomb the vents and attempt to gas out the mouse.”

“Uh- “

“The elementary school had a girl pass out because the gas started filling the room.”

“My foot slipped.” 

“You almost died.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“Look, Nagito…” She started to cut him off, but quickly stopped, eyes dropping down the ground. She closed them for a second before looking back up at him. “I-I-I…I can’t keep dating you if you keep treating yourself like a crash test dummy.”

The weight of the words hung in the air for a scarily long amount of time, Chiaki looking down at her hands while Nagito took a few seconds to let the impact of what she said crash over him.

“I-I’m…sorry, Nanami.”

“It’s okay. I’m just asking you to value yourself a bit more…for all our sakes.”

Nagito gave a soft smile, while almost instantly transmitted to Chiaki. It took five minutes for them to realise they had just been starring at each other the whole time.

* * *

 

Kizakura couldn’t believe it. 3 v 1 situation. Shuichi, Gonta and Kokichi all prepared…Peko was absolutely finessing them. His team were playing like a bunch of fourth graders…who were blind…and paralysed. The only saving grace was at some points, Gonta was too big for her to get it past him, but the other two in the meanwhile, were contributing either no effort or were so insistent that they “totally could dunk, height is just a number”.

His attention was suddenly averted to his side, where he saw an out-of-breath Imposter walking back to Chisa, with something that resembled a mummy over his shoulder.

“Mitari! Get on the field.” Chisa shouted enthusiastically.

“This is a pacifist protest.” The toilet paper demon replied, gently rolling around.

This distraction caused Koichis eyes to be temporarily diverted from the field, meaning he couldn’t monitor his own team and when he couldn’t monitor his own team…

“Big G, you gotta do this.”

“But Gonta not know what you mean!”

“It’s easy, I’ll grab the basketball and you chuck me at the hoop, so I can dunk.”

“…That make’s sense!”

“See! When you see me running towards you, grab me and throw me, Kay?”

“Ok!”

Kokichi started the play, actually managing to speed around Peko (with an assist from Saiharas face). He ducked and weaved over to the other side of the court, where Gonta was waiting.

“Gonta, take me ther- “The problem was the coordination. Gonta grabbed him almost instinctively and instead of carrying him and dropping him near the hoop, like Kokichi intended him too, the entomologist threw him like a fucking lawndart. The purple haired boy smashed into the backboard at full force, ricocheting off of it and taking a mighty high fall back first onto the ground.

The whole room let out a gasp, as Ouma hit the floor with the force of a divebombing jet plane.

“KOKICHI! OHMYGOD! Are you ok?!” Himiko practically screamed, letting her lazy persona completely shatter.

Ouma managed to get himself up and stumble over to her, clearly dazed.

“I-I’m g-good. Just need to sit down, ‘s all.” He said but something was clearly off. Not only was he slurring, his normal, high-pitched, bombastic tone was noticeably lower and darker than Himiko had ever heard it

“GONTA! What were you thinking?!” Tenko shouted across the court.

“GONTA IS SORRY, HE THOUGHT KOKICHI WOULD- “The giant boy tried to say between sobs only to be interrupted.

“No…’s my bad.” Kokichi started “G-gave him…wrong instructions….” Long pauses breached the supreme leaders sentence structure, allowing drowsiness to seep in through the cracks. Drowsiness and…nausea.

Without a second thought, Ouma pushed himself away, using Himikos shoulders as a boost and threw up in the trash can next to him.

“Oh, that’s not good.” Rantaro said, Kaede nodding in agreement.

“Ouma!” Himiko once again yelled, as he pulled his head out. The young boy was far gone at this point, eyes having glazed over and motion becoming janky, but as he starred at the magician, he managed to murmur out something that sounded like:

“sI lo-svo uo” before passing out completely on the bleachers.

“Don’t worry Kokichi! Gonta will go tell First-Aid” Gokuhara said, bolting off the court fast as Shuichi wondered over to the bleachers.

“Well, we better actually get him there.” The detective said, picking Ouma up on his shoulders…only to collapse under his weight. “A-ah, he’s heavy.” He wasn’t. Maki took the opportunity to jump up and grab Saiharas leg, pulling him along the ground.

All that was left on the field was Peko, dazed and confused.

“YES PEKO!” Fuyuhiko shouted triumphantly, blush adorning his features as he realised his volume was way higher than intended. “She wins by mass forfeit, right?”

“I guess.” Chisa started only for Kizakura to cut her off.

“Well, me and Chisa are going to have to go and have a discussion about this. We’ll see you guys in a sec with the breakdown.”

* * *

 

“I don’t see what there really is to discuss.”

“Well I do, I mean this is kinda disrespectful to my players hard work since we were **technically** in front.” That was Kizakuras ultimate technique, say technically when you mean “absolutely”.

“Yes, but the reason your players hardwork is being disrespected is because one them convince another to concuss him on the backboard. “

“…Well, Okay then. We’ll call it in your favour.”

“Yay!” Chisa said triumphantly…before Kizakua crash tackled her to the floor, shoving her against the wall. Yukizome heard a click, and the next thing she knew, she’d been handcuffed to the gas pipe on the wall.

“KOICHI! WHAT THE HELL?!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll split the voucher with you!” He shouted, dashing off towards the game. He felt a twinge of guilt as he saw the 77 starting to celebrate their win, but figured…wait he couldn’t split that voucher any more than he could already…shit.

“Uh…attention, attention please.” Dozens of eyes shot over towards him. “The game will continue…but Peko, you’re off the court.” There was a long silence before Fuyuhiko spoke up.

“Are you shitting me?”

“Just trying to balance the teams.”

“YOU HAVE NO PLAYERS FUCKWAD!”

“You-Kuzuryu, please calm down.” Peko said, walking up to him off court. The Yakuza heir considered resisting but if Peko was ok with it, he was ok with it.

“Fine…fucking cheat. Where’s Miss Yukizome anyway?”

“B-Business meeting.”

“Sure thing…wait, hold on, Mitaris still in-play as sub!”

Kizakuras eyes bulged out of his head, almost in time with Ryotas own, as both sprung to attention.

“Guy’s, I don’t think I can do it!” Mitari shouted, bolting upright.

“R-ryota…it’s l-literally a 1-1vs0 s-situation.” Mikan said, even the shy nurse getting fed up with his bullshit.

“Yeah…well, I guess I can do it then.” The 77 erupted in cheers, as Kizakura slapped his palm over his face. Mitari sprung up, confidence renewed at the fact he could win the game.

Suddenly, the door swung open, revealing Maki and Shuichi walking back from the nurse’s office. Cheers started to resonate from the 79, even from Kizakura.

“Maki, save us!” Kizakura screamed from the top of his lungs.

“I’m out of the game. Shuichi isn’t.”

“Better than nothing.”

“Hold on, hold on…I don’t wanna play.” Shuichi bluntly stated, still panting from having to get dragged to first-aid.

“Oh, no, Shuichi you have too. Please!” Koichi practically begged him but the detective still looked uncertain…until Makis hand hit his shoulder.

“Hey. Don’t be a little bitch about this.”

“Inspiring.”

“I’m serious though. Shuichi, if you sleepwalk through life, you’re never going to achieve anything, physically, academically or as a detective. We’re not asking you to win the game…we’re just asking you to put in an effort, so fucking believe me when I say “you can do it!””

“I-I can do it!”

“You totally can!” Maki quickly kissed him, before stomping back over to the seats. Shuichi, meanwhile, rushed to the field, meeting Mitari in the middle. Maki smiled triumphantly in the meanwhile…

“You better get ready…” Shuichi said, Ryota flinching at his forceful tone “Cause I’m gonna trounce you like Guardians 1 did to Guardians 2…”

“ **In terms of complete packaged quality.** ” The two said simultaneously. Makis face dropped, as the two boys broke out in smiles.

“You watch the MCU?!”

“Y-yeah, I-I love it.”

“Oh my god!”

A massive, simultaneous groan was heard from the entire hope’s peak collective, as they were subjected to Shuichi and Mitaris 40-minute discussion as to how Marvel should incorporate the X-Men into the Marvel cinematic universe.

Eventually, the siren blared, each team gaining zero points in the time Shuichi and Ryota had started playing 1v1, which left a disgruntled audience but a beaming Kizakura. Thank god he was gonna eat….is what he thought until he saw Munakata and Chisa (who was rubbing her wrist) glaring at him from the sidelines.

“…shit.”

* * *

 

Rantaro sighed as he walked down the hallway. Today had been a bummer, he barley even got to play basketball. A small cough, sucked him from his thoughts before they got even get started, however and he turned around to see Kaede staring him dead in the face.

“You really like sneaking up behind me, don’t you?”

“Haha. Either it’s a gift, or you just don’t know what footsteps sound like.”

Rantaro smirked at her jab but chose to move to a different topic. “So, what inspired you to follow me Akamatsu?”

“Not much, it’s just…I’m sorry your chance at playing properly again got ruined.”

“I don’t care. It was a pretty convincing flop, to be fair.”

“Yeah but, anyway…maybe we could play some together later?”

Her request initially confused Rantaro but, his confusion turned into a smile pretty fast.

“Sure, but you better bring you’re a-game.” Kaede confidently smiled at his request, even though she knew he was probably gonna go easy on her. That’d be his downfall.

* * *

 

Ouma didn’t know where he was, it was dark and it was gloomy and there was nothing…wait he just had his eyes closed. From what he could gather from his fractured memories, he had asked Gonta to use him as a bowling ball to dunk but Gonta also used the kiddy ramp when he played bowling, so trusting him with that responsibility was a major lapse in his judgment.

Then there was Himiko, and he’d said something to her...what did he say? It was slurred, it was something like “sI lo-svo uo”. What could that mean? Two possibilities creeped into his head, but Ouma only liked one…he only chose to accept one…he said uso dayo. Of course, he did! That was the only possible, possible, possible thing he’d say in a million-billion-trillion-

He’d said “I love you.”

This thought disturbed Ouma. He didn’t like it. He went back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest Chapter yet!


	44. Houseparty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuyas house becomes the subject of a "super fancy" party

“Attention…may I have all your attention!” Byakuya yelled out at the start of the day. The **attention** class turned towards him, as he stood up. “My father has gone away for the weekend, so you…are all invited to a party at my estate.”

Positive murmurs filled the air.

“Wow Byakuya, that’s really nice! What’s the occasion?” Asahina asked.

“Naegis leaving for a 3-week holiday soon, I just invited him and Yasuhiro over and he insisted I throw a party for **all of you.** “The positiveness was slightly sucked out of the room, but some of it was directed towards Makoto.

“Ah, Sweet, Makoto, where’re you going?” Takumi said from his desk.

“Oh, uh, China. My dad’s got a business tri- “Hijiriharas eyes widened at the location.

“You staying at the east district?”

“…Yeah, why?”

Takumi reached into his bag, shuffling through a lot of starbucks cups, like **a lot** of starbucks cups, like how could someone drink that many starbucks cups, before pulling out an envelope and leaning in gradually closer to the Luckster.

“If you’re there, chose room 45C at the Xiao High Point Hotel, under the radiator will be a 15-inch by 15-inch map of the east district which’ll lead you to the coordinates 42;45. Under those coordinates will be an alleyway, in between that alleyway you’ll find a big, burly dude named Rasenberg, go up to him without the slightest hint of hesitation and go “does the pope eat kids?” After which he’ll move to the left side, if he moves to the right side, he’s gonna jump you, and reveal a number of letterboxes and a tiny mail keeper. Give this envelope to him, and say “the Killer Killer sends his regards.””

“…. I’m actually gonna be staying in the Ritz-Zliao Resort, so…”

“Damn. Whatever, I’ll call your dad up and tell him to transfer you…what’s his number?”

“So, Makoto…” Kyoko said, coming to his aid. “China, how’s that gonna be?”

“Good, I hope. My dad’s gotta go over there for a work thing, and Komaru really wanted to see the country, so I guess it all worked out.” He smiled but out of the corner of his eye saw Toko, scribbling away in her notebook, flashing glances at him. It’d been like that ever since the market, and at this point Makoto had just resigned himself. Besides, he shouldn’t be worried about some ugly, awful, witch of a…

Yeah, he had to stop taking Byakuyas advice on how to deal with rejection.

* * *

 

As soon as Takumis footsteps were heard leaving the classroom for the 78s first period, Sayaka scouted over to Leon, eyes wide with inquisitiveness.

“Hey!”

‘Oh, hey babe.”

“I-Wait, waitwaitwaitwait, we are not on a “babe” basis.”

“Come on, 3 dates is a babe basis.”

“It’s totally not, but I like “hopeless romantic” Leon, so you can keep calling me it.”

“I am not a hopeless romantic!”

“You so are, hammered in by the fact that I found this…” She pulled out your phone and swiped up to Leons horror. “Is this your sound cloud?”

“…yeah.”

“…Why didn’t you tell me you liked music? I can totally help you out! Let’s go.”

“Wait, what from class?”

“Yeah…Wait, are you telling me you’ve seriously never skipped class before?”

“nope.” Leon replied, voice barley above a whisper.

“And you call yourself punk rock.” Sayaka replied with a smirk, which Leon embarrassingly returned. “C’mon, let’s go!” She said with a wink, prompting them both to rush out of the classroom.

No one noticed.

* * *

 

“Sis…are you actually considering not asking him out.”

“I mean, it’s not like…”

“Oh, but it is “like”. Think about it! Ticking clock, big fancy background, possible moonlight…” Junko was currently bouncing off the walls like a tornadoquake of sheer energy. Mukuro was just stuck along for the ride.

“Perfect fuckin scenario! Now, what look should you go for? You could go for the tight-ass Chrstian chick thing…nah, Makoto would be fucking bored to tears by that shit. I’m just saying, the shorter, the- “

“Stop.”

“Jeez! Sorry for trying to make you look like a fuckin catch.” Junko spat, before changing her personality on a literal turn of the heel. “Look, sis, I love you, but you’re not really **working** with me.” 

“I’m sorry, Junko, it’s just, you can get a bit…energetic sometimes, and it’s really hard to keep up with yo-“ Mukuro began to wander over to the mirror, but her eyes widened as she saw Junko, holding a ton of make-up, charging towards her.

* * *

 

“Okay, come on Leon, hit me with your best.” Sayaka said, but she wasn’t really expecting his “best”. She’d listened to his sound cloud and it was some real “I’m a spiritual, lyrical, miracle” shit.

Leon, took a deep breath, before jolting to life as he played several deep, electric sounding strums.

“Orange no slide…utsusu sora” He sang, along with the continuous jolts of the music. At this point, Sayakas ears started to perk up. This was…decent. 

“Sponge no pride…burasakete” He continued to sing, before full diving into the chorus.

“ **Spider** …Ikedotta sono yokan wa, Kakusanakuta tte ii n da, Iro no tsuita yume mitai na… ** _Ride on shooting star_** , Koko- “

“Okay, I’ve heard enough.”  Sayaka interrupted, holding her hand up. Leons song tittered out, as he anxiously awaited her opinion. “I thought it was pretty good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah…I mean, your vocal range is a bit spotty…”

“Hey! That’s easy for you to say, since you don’t have to play your own instruments while you sing!” Sayaka smirked at his comment, before plucking the guitar out of his hands, and sitting down horizontal to him.

* * *

 

“Aloysius!” Byakuya shouted, as he entered his home from the long day at school.

“Yes, Master Byakuya?” The grizzled man appeared out of nowhere, causing Togami to jump, and then stumble in a futile attempt to appear as if he did not initially jump.

“I will be having guests over…16 guests in fact, so **you** can get the night off.”

“Hmm. Would I be out of line to question the safety of the mansion, when, say, 16 high schoolers come stomping into it.”

“Well, who ever said they were high schoolers, they could be a bunch of respectable individuals I met on the interne…okay that makes them sound like paedophiles, yes their high schoolers but you need not worry, I have taken safety precautions.”

“Such as?”

“Jesus, aren’t you nosy?” He quipped causing the butler to crack a small smile. “Well, I have been unlocking the gate on-and-off again for 2 months now, slowly driving Father to buy more and more into the theory that he has dementia. If anything is broken, I can simply say he left the gate unlocked, and the house was robbed. “

“That’s evil…fair play, I will return at 12:30.”

* * *

 

Leon waited with baited breath, as Sayaka took a few test strums, before suddenly transforming into a blast of sound and feeling. His eyes widened, he was expecting some upbeat pop song, not this deep, gothic shit.

“KOKORO... mada ANATA no KIOKU no naka de.” She attempted to sing lowly, although her natural pitch constrained her slightly. “KARADA... sagashiteru tarinai WATASHI wo”. The beat descended even further.

“Kyou mo dokoka de dareka no nagasu namida. tsumetaku warau sadame wo ikiteiku **KOTO**.” She added a massive emphasis on the last word, before speeding up her strums to create a faster pace.

“Nakusenai mono nigirishimenagar, WATASHI wa ima mo koko ni iru **no** ” Sayaka was in her element as she sang, lyrics bouncing of the chords like marbles. “karenai hana wa utsukushikute. yuruginai omoi wo mune ni sakitsudzuketa”

“chigireta kumo no danzai no **sora**. Tomaranai kanashimi wo **dakishimeteita** ” She put full focus on the words, before slowly strumming out, leaving Leon absolutely breathtaken.

“T-that…that was amazing!” Leon practically screamed.

“Thanks.” Sayaka managed to get through, between pants. “I’m not great with your type of guitar, but I feel I did alright.”

“That was way better than alright.” 

Maizono let out a small bit of laughter, before silence filled the room.

“Wanna head to Byakuyas party.” Kuwata said.

“Sure.”

“As a couple?”

“…yeah, what else would we go a- “

“THAT’S BABE STATUS!”

“…god damn it.”

* * *

 

“Woah, it’s so big!” Asahina exclaimed in awe of the Togami household. She’d caught a train with Yasuhiro and Makoto, and was absolutely gobsmacked at the size of Togamis house (which was basically the size of Hopes Peak)

“That’s what she said.” And her sense of wonder was gone.

“Geez, grow up!” She angrily shouted back at Yasuhiro, who was laughing like he’d just walked up to pitch and hit a home run at the world series.

“Ahh, come on ‘Hina, I’m just trying to lighten the mood for Naegs.” Makotos ears perked up at the suggestion, and he mentally prayed to god, the virgin Mary, the pope, the Dalai Lama and MLK that this conversation proceeded no further than-

“Oh? What are you bummed about Makoto?” She asked, but before he could answer, Yasuhiro attempted to make the save.

“I…” Makoto started, only to be cut off.

“His dog died.”

“Oh…man, that sucks- “

“Of cancer.”

“God, that’s horri- “

“He got hit by a bus.”

“…Wait, but you just said…”

“Naegi, not the dog.”

“But he’s- “

“He got genetic testing done, so he’s immune to buses.”

“…What?”

“He has cancer.”

“Huh?”

“You have cancer.”

“Nope.”

“The islamic faith- “

“Stop!” Naegi shouted, with the force of an atomic bomb drop. “It’s nothing, okay?” There was a long hanging stalemate, before Makoto saw it…the shifting of the eyes, the scrunching of his fingers and the clapping of his lips, it was only a matter of time until-

“He got rejected by Toko!” The clairvoyant blurted out, before smashing his hands over his lips.

“Oh no!” Aoi screamed. “You two seemed perfect for each other, what happened?”

“Look, I d-don’t really want to talk about it.”

“No, no…Makoto, I can’t let a relationship waste away like this, from now on, you’re in the hands of Aoi Asahina…Matchmaker to the stars!”  The swimmer thrusted her hands in the air triumphantly.

“First step…” Yasuhiro said, butting in. “Tell her you want to fuck her.”

“…On what basis do you think that would work?” Makoto asked.

“Anime and porn.”

“You’re an idiot.” Asahina bluntly stated as she walked up to the front doorstep of Byakuyas house.

**_DING DONG!_ **

She rung the doorbell, causing the sound of running feet to echo through the halls….and it kept echoing…and echoing, until the group decided it was gonna be a while till the door opens.

“Look, Naegs, you can have any girl you want with just bluntness. Observe…’Hina, do you want to go out on a date with me?”

“I’m gay.”

Yasuhiros eyes widened, before forming into a weirdly confident smirk as he leaned over to Makoto.

“Okay, now we scale it back…” He whispered. “’Hina, do you want to go on a date with Makoto?”

“I’m still gay.”

“Damn! I thought that would work.”

“Seriously?!” Aoi shouted back at him, before the door swung open revealing a panting Byakuya.

“ _pant, pant,_ T-thank y-you for c-coming.” He said.

“Wow, Byakuya, you took a long time, where you doing laundry or something?” Asahina asked with a confused smile.

“N-no I was in my bedroom. Now come along, you all have a party to attend.”

Slowly the guests started piling in, giving the house more life than it’d seen in a decade. Sayaka provided a DJ to the event, which vastly trumped Byakuyas suggestion of classical music (which Leon had described as “Alzheimer’s in musical form”)

Toko was currently slurping on her drink, and rotating on a schedule of “away from Makoto”, when Asahina jumped out from behind her, slapping her on the back.

“Heeeeey Toko!”

“W-what d-do y-you want?”

“Nothing much, just wanna talk to you abo- “

“M-Makoto?”

“Yeah!...Wait how’d you know?”

“I h-heard you l-loudly p-proclaim you were “m-matchmaker t-to the s-stars””

“So, you were just standing there watching?”

“M-Maybe…”

“Whatever! You should give him a shot, he’s cute and funny and- “

“A complete and utter moron.”

“Hey! He got straight As and Bs in his report.”

“C-counter point: He o-once s-stuck a f-fork in a t-toaster to get B-Byakuyas p-pita o-out at the school sleep-in”

“To be fair, I was in the dorm next to his, and it was a rough night. Yasuhiro legitimately went on about how Communism was a great idea and America fucked it up, for 5 hours nonstop.”

“S-still.” 

“I’m just saying, you should give him a- “

**_DING DONG!_ **

Byakuya confusedly looked at the door, doing a mental head count of everyone at the party. Opening the door, he was faced with the golden-amber eyes of Takumi Hijirihara.

“What on earth are you doing here?”

“Sorry kids, I know you don’t really like to see your _sensei_ at your cool party…” He slowly stepped into the room. “But when I’m stuck at home, drinking liquor I grabbed out of the bargain bin at my local bottle shop, I had a thought…why stay here when I can come to Togamis house, where they have the good shit.” With that, he snatched a beverage from Hifumis hands. “Duty of care guys. Keep the drinks rolling and maybe I’ll turn a blind eye.”

 The entire room let out a loud sigh, as Takumi set out to find the wine cellar.

* * *

 

Kyoko liked rooms. One of her earliest memories was crawling around her father’s house gleefully…until she bumped her head on a shelf and was concussed. Still, the point stood, and the fact of the matter was the Togami residence had **a lot** of rooms. She had looked through a lot of them, but there was one in particular she was looking for.

Darting through the halls, her eyes eventually settled on one. Mahogany wood door, 4X4 frame. She quickly reached into her pocket and retrieved a small hairpin. **_Click!_**

With that, the door swung open to reveal…Togami in a chair.

“Was expecting you.” He smugly said, causing Kirigiri to raise an eyebrow.

“Is this your room?” She asked.

“Yes, that assumption is correct.”  Kyoko took a big look around. She was expecting a massive, luxurious suite. Not…this. Hell, when she’d stayed over at Aois house, the swimmer’s room was significantly bigger than this. Togamis room was quaint, aside from a massive window that stretched along his wall, giving the area a tint of sunset.

“Smaller than I expected it to be.” She stated blankly, holding up some nic-nacs.

“Jesus Christ Kirigiri, it’s not an investigation.”

“Maybe it is, your families gotten up to some very shady behaviour over the years.”

“I doubt that would be a problem now.”

“Hmm?” The detective’s ears perked up at the comment.

“My father seems to have become a declawed tiger recently. He’s come down with an unknown illness and is slowly losing basic brain functions. While during investors meetings he may still be able to put on the face, he’s not going to be able to sustain it for long.”

“Wow. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I hate my father.”

“Hey…” She tenderly put her hand to Togamis shoulder. “I hate my dad too.”

Togami paused, before letting out a small laugh, which quickly turned into him absolutely bellowing. The comedy spread like a virus, quickly infecting Kyoko, as the detectives sombrely-heard giggles rung through the air. Before long, the pair were literally leaning on each other. They didn’t know why.

* * *

 

Mukuro had been starring at him for 15 minutes. Not intently, just, ya know, small little glances from her drink. Junko thought it was creepy.

“Muki, come on, time to make your move.” The fashionista whined.

“I-I’m just working up the ner- “

“You’ve been “working up the nerve” for the last hour and a half! At this rate, he’s gonna be gone before you even talk to him. Need I remind you, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

“Wayne Gretsky?”

“No. It’s me, I made that up.” The soldiers face showed an expression of vague confusion, before resting.

“Fine.”

“YES! There we go, knock him dead sis!” Junko loudly exclaimed thrusting her arms out. Ikusaba pushed out the chair, and quickly made her away across the room, to where Makoto was sitting by himself, clutching a club soda.

“H-hey Naegi.” She managed to stammer out, as she took the seat across from him. She felt butterflies as she observed his face light up upon realization that she was sitting next to him. 

“Hey Mukuro! I haven’t seen you all night! Did you do something with your hair?”

“Y-Yeah. I didn’t think y-you’d notice?” He’d literally have to be blind not to notice.

“It looks nice.”

“Thanks.”

An awkward silence hung in the air, as Makoto took a sip from his drink. That was all that filled the room, the slurp of his glass. Mukuros eyes darted side-to-side, blush overtaking her face, before she spat out 3 words.

“I like you.”

“…I like you too?” The luckster replied confusedly. However, this was all Mukuro needed, to push herself across the table and lean in...

* * *

 

Toko was a stone wall. An unmoving, unreasoning block of concreate…. but Aoi was a fucking jackhammer, a jackhammer that was being powered by high blood pressure and unburnt calories.

“Come on Toko, just go talk to him!”

“I’m n-not g-going t-to dignify hi- “

“Look.” The swimmers energetic tone faded out for a more serious one. “I’m not saying you need to have his babies or anything, I’m **saying** you guys are great together.”

“W-whatever.”

“My Mom always said relationships are like a sports team, and it’d be nice if you were playing on the same team…because I know you like him too.”

Tokos wall completely crumbled as Asahinas words took her off-guard. She trembled for a second, before thrusting her hands to her chest and regaining her composure.

“T-thanks. I-I-I-I-I…” her normal stuttering went on for longer than expected. Words didn’t seem to be able to formulate in Tokos mind, so instead she substituted for a voice barley above a whisper “I really do like him. I-I j-just need to t-tell h-him how I f-feel.”

Toko wasn’t scared anymore. For that single moment all her doubts had been flushed away. Maybe, just maybe, she could leave her past behind. Not forever, but for the time being.

“Yes! TOKO YES!” Aois enthusiasm returned with the power of a collapsing star. “Now go out there and get hi-nooooooooooo.” Her pitch shifted as both girls faced the side where Makoto Naegi was currently liplocked with Mukuro Ikusaba.

The literary girl saw pure red. Once again, she’d been made a fool out of, once again her emotions had been betrayed, once again she wanted to curl up and die.

“Fukawa, I’m sure he didn’t- “

It was too late, Toko muttered a small “I’m leaving.”, before turning on her heel and practically running out of the house.

* * *

 

1…

He felt Mukuros lips crash into his.

2…

His eyes shot open like he’d been on the receiving end of the sniper shot.

3…

He jerked his head back instinctively, causing a massive break for air. Turning his head to the side.

“No! No! No!” He screamed with more forced than intended, causing Mukuros eyes to widen. “I like you, but I don’t “like you” like you!” At this point, Makoto was basically hyperventilating.

“S-sorry. I’m so sorry.” Mukuro harshly whispered before, running off, tears in her eyes, leaving Makoto apologetic, but also giving him time to breath…until Asahina came charging at him, grabbing him by the hoodie before throwing him in a nearby broom closet.

“You better not think about kissing me right now!” Makoto shouted, as he readjusted himself.

“Jesus Christ Makoto, for the last time, I’m gay! No, this is about the fact that I winged you all night and then when me and Toko look back, I SEE YOU DEEP IN DEBT WITH MUKURO!”

“Wait…Toko?! Oh my god, I have to talk to her!”

“Listen, my Mum always says- “

She was cut off by Makoto dashing away, at top speed.

“Ok then.”

* * *

 

The night was still, as a cool breeze swept through the air. The only sound that could be heard was the desperate clacking of Makotos sneakers on the asphalt path. Toko usually went home this way. The route had a nice amount of greenery and was even perpendicular to the river, it was kind of relaxing honestly, aside from the fact that the girl he liked was **this** close to never speaking to him again. It was a ticking clock, he had 15 minutes before he had to leave for his flight, but 15 minutes was enough.

It was then he saw a faint, faint, **faint** silhouette on the horizon. His voice would never reach her at this point (just his luck that the wind had suddenly started blowing like God was giving a standing ovation). He tensed his legs, ready to break out in full sprint but a loud noise screeched into his ears, derailing his train of thought.

“ ** _SQUAWK! SQUAWK!_** ”

Makoto looked to his left to see a large bird, clearly distressed, thrashing around in the water. He looked up ahead, then returned his glance to the bird before, with a resounding sigh, sliding down the river banks.

Approaching the creature with his jacket tied to his waist, Naegi gently cupped the birds form.

“Hey, hey, it’s gonna be OK, it’s gonna be O- “It was then he saw something on the animal’s neck. Little black marks. He didn’t know why, but they gave him a distinct feeling of… _déjà vu._

* * *

 

_Stupid School. Why’d he have to be on animal duty today of all days? Wasn’t it Maizonos turn? Whatever, Makoto grumbled to himself as he marched over to the pond. A crane had gotten stuck in there. He wishes it’d been a duck, ducks can swim. He could name a lot of things that could swim (this was a trick Miss Fujimura taught him): He could swim, turtles could swim, even his little sister could swim (to be fair, she mainly just flailed around in the bath) so why couldn’t this stupid crane?_

_He spied the bird up ahead, giving its form a quick analysis. Something stood out…black marks on its neck?_

* * *

 

Toko was used to the quiet. She walked home this way every day. She didn’t like her actual home, but had to admit that the walk was nice. It was almost like a nice pillow before the proverbial sucker punch of her family. It was this reason why she noticed the rustling in the trees.  

“W-Who’s there?” She shouted, as the rustling displaced itself from tree to tree before eventually settling. Toko paused, as she waited for more sound, before figuring it was just a raccoon and-

“Howdy.” Takumi appeared behind her like a shadow, rested on the branch of a tree. Fukawa practically doubled over at the sight, letting out a small shriek before picking herself up.

“W-what the f-fuck are y-you doing here?”

“Hey, no swearing in front of a teacher.”

“W-we’re o-off c-campus and y-you’re drinking.”

“Fair point.” He pushed off the branch and landed gracefully in front of her.

“What d-do you e-even want? I’ve g-gotta go h-home.”

“You **could** go home. Do you really want to spend a night with your shithead, presumably alcoholic dad?”

“…H-how did y-you k-kn- “

“My parents weren’t the nicest people either, it’s not that hard to spot, but we’re getting off topic. Why don’t you take a walk back to the party and have a good time, regardless of who’s kissing who?”

“No! I-I’d rather d-die then be a-around that moron for a-a second longer!”

Takumi made a face of slight surprise at her statement, before his look became more rested.

“There it is. Not only have you been bitten by the lovebug, you’ve been absolutely ransacked. Like mosquitos in summer time.”

“T-that c-couldn’t be father f-from the- “

“It’s the truth.”

“Jesus Christ stop cutting me off!” She yelled, before adding in a small “sorry” at the end.

“Listen, six years ago I was in your exact same position. There was a girl I liked, we were partners on a…case” His eyes visibly shifted on that pronunciation. “I said I’d tell her how much I loved her next week….and then it changed to the next week…and then the next week, and then she moved away.”

“…Why a-are you telling me this.”

“Because I like Naegi, and I think you…have a lot of potential to be someone great if there’s a person there to give you a push.” His next sentence became hushed to the point of almost whispering. “And I don’t want you to be like me, spending the next 6 years of your life, wondering why everything’s moving in slow motion.”

His words held the air up by their weight, as both parties paused.

“O-Okay, I’ll head b-back.” Toko said, sighing in defeat. “B-by the way, w-what are you e-even doing out here.”

“What can I say? I just love nature.”

* * *

 

“There you go, all out of the water now.” Makoto said. “You owe me double for this know.” The crane did not respond because it was a crane. It simply straightened its neck, spread its wings and took flight into the moonlight.

Makoto breathed out a sigh of relief before turning around to see Toko starring at him.

“Oh! Hey!” He said, face lighting up.

“H-hey.” She nervously said.

“How have you been, I haven’t- “

“Do you like Mukuro?” Tokos tone attempted to be confident, but it was clearly shaky.

“No! Not at all! I mean, she’s a great friend, but that wasn’t…she didn’t…I don’t want to be romantically involved with her.” He finally managed to finish. Suddenly, without warning, Toko grabbed his collar and pulled him in for a kiss. It didn’t last long but at the very least Makoto didn’t break away.

“S-So d-do you want to b-be my boyfriend?” Toko stammered nervously. She regretted it almost immediately and her mind started to take things back to elementary school, when she wrote the boy, she liked a love note only to-

“Yes, totally!” Makoto erased all her fears before she even had a chance to react. Toko’s mind wanted to say it was a prank, or all this time he’d spent chasing her had been some sort of lost bet…but at this point she was too tired to care.

**_BEEP! BEEP!_ **

Makotos alarm went off, causing a grimace to break out on his face.

“Sorry, I’ve gotta get down to the airport.”

“It’s f-fine. C-call me when you t-touch down.”

“Will do. Wait, what’s your number?”

Toko had literally never written down anything faster in her entire life.


	45. Non-Despair AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junko realises that complete world domination may not be as easy as it first seemed/

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two quick notes, I'll be deleting all update/roadmap chapters sometime before the next chapter, so if there's less chapters suddenly, that's why. Secondly, FUCK YEAH! ALMOST 1 YEAR OF THIS SHIT AND IT'S STILL NOT DEAD!

**_Ding Dong Dong Ding_ **

“A Body has been discovered! Now then, after a certain amount of time has passed, a class trial will begin!”

She saw the rest of the students rush into the lockeroom, she observed the screams of terror as they saw Fujisakis body strung up.

**_Ding Dong Dong Ding_ **

Did she hit the announcement button by accident? Whatever, she just wanted to see her puppets move. Predictably, Kirgiri was already…

**_Ding Dong Dong Ding_ **

Okay, she knew she didn’t hit the button this time. Where the fuck was this sound coming from. She tried to readjust her focus back onto the scene, as she heard…

**_Ding Dong Dong Ding_ **

Her alarm clock going off. Junko let out a loud groan before sitting up straight, and fashioning her hair into its normal state. Guess she wouldn’t be causing any despair this morning, unless…

Gently down the steps, Junko tip toed to Mukuros room. She heard snoring, oh this was gonna be **good**! The fashionista gently pushed the door open…only to be greeted with the sight of a small voice box and projecting sounds. Junko mentally sighed, as she knew what was coming next.

**_SPLOSH!_ **

A bucket of water came falling down from the top of Ikusabas door, drenching Junko, ruining her hair that she’d spent the last 15 minutes doing. However, this was the least of her concerns, Mukuro had been acting strange since a few days ago…had anything big happened a few days ago. Nah, nothing much except she’d been harshly, **harshly** rejected by the love of her life (at least what Mukuro thought) and then learnt that he’d got with someone else, **not even directly from him** , instead it was via a Toko/Kirigiri conversation she overheard…. Makoto had sent her a meme the other day though, so in Junkos mind she didn’t know what Muki was getting so upset about.

It was **her** that should be mad. She’d had a big idea about causing despair to Hopes Peak academy, kickstarting a mad chain of events that ended after 4 games, 2 anime, a metric shit tons of anthology mangas and light novels, with a hear throbbing battle of Hope Vs. Despair…except nothing had gone to plan.

It mattered not, she had a whole new deluxe gold edition plan, and it started where it was supposed to start…with the reserve course!

* * *

 

This was depressing. Junko had walked in all sunshine and rainbows, giving them the full Enoshima charm, it had been foolproof, except instead of the depressingly angry environment of the reserve course hayday, this one was depressingly sad. Even the teacher (who’s name was Mr. Garymont according to his name tag) looked ready to kneel over and die.

“Name please.” He asked in the most uninterested tone Junko had ever heard uttered from a non-acting, non-parental, human being.

“Junko Enoshima!” She flashed the peace sign. It was charming, everyone of all age groups ate it up. It was the ultimate defense mechanism.

“…I don’t see your name on the list.”

“Oh, I’m part of the class 78.”

“…this is the class 79RE”

“Yes, I can see that.” This guy was starting to test her patience, but Junko didn’t falter. Just keep smiling.

“…this is the class 79RE, what class are you from.”

“The class 78.”

“This is the class 79RE.”

“Thanks for the info.”

“…. Miss I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

“What, no, I just came here for- “Junko took a step forwards causing the man’s eyes to widen.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS WOMEN IS TRYING TO ASSAULT ME!” He screamed, causing a domino effect down the whole class. Junko looked around a room of screaming maniacs, confusedly, as the teacher started dry heaving at his desk.

“What seems to be the problem here guys?” Juzo asked, announcing his presence.

“I HAVE BEEN A VICTIM…OF STRANGER DANGER!” Mr. Garymont yelled like bloody murder, between his weird, dry, coughs.

“Wow, that’s horrible. Miss Enoshima, we’ll be taking you to a police station immediately.” Juzo gave her a small wink as he said it, but did however grab her arm and escort her from the classroom, into the courtyard.

“What the hells up with those guys?” Junko asked rudely, as Juzo gave a small bit of laughter.

“That class is so desperate for entertainment they’ve started making their own. Unfortunately, Hopes Peak is kinda indebted to Garymont.”

“Why?”

“Few weeks ago, he legitimately broke both his legs falling down the stairs, and lay there for 2 days straight because no one believed him enough to check. He didn’t sue, but we’re gonna keep him signed for another year at the least before we’re in the clear to fire him.”

Juzo took out, and lighted, a cigarette, while Junko took the opportunity to retrieve her phone from her purse. Juzo was actually the exact person she needed to see right now.

“We’ll let you slip on the assault charges, but it doesn’t mean you’re not skipping out on your P.E class, Junko.”

“So? P.E’s gross, the school makes us wear the most disgusting outfits, and when I’m excising, I prefer to not see some fat weebs eyes patrolling me. Hey, wait don’t you teach that class?” She replied, still fiddling through her belongings.

“I am, but I don’t choose the outfits, that comes from the higher ups. We just get the cheapest ones. The guys ones are equally bad to be fair.”

“I’m sure you know a lot about that wouldn’t you.” Junkos tone turned sinister as she whipped out her cell, containing an array of pictures. “ _Your so-in love with Munakata”_ She sang.

“…So, you have a picture of me starring at a photograph of him.”

“…. yeah.”

“Is that it?”

“…no.”

“Are you lying?”

“…Ask again later.”

Juzo laughed, gave her points for figuring out he liked dudes but he didn’t like Munakata…he also gave her an hour detention for attempted blackmail.

* * *

 

Ryota Mitari. Small, skinny, really easy to push around. He was perfect for what Junko had envisioned, which was a brainwashing anime that she could use on those jackasses in the 77th.

“Hey, Hey.” She said, happy tone returning.

“Oh, h-hey, you’re that girl f-from the 78th, r-right?”

“Yep! That’s me, Junko Enoshima.”

“…C-cool.”

“Now I was thinking- “Junko was cut off by the realization that Mitaris eyes weren’t on her, they were laser focused on his screen. “Hey, eyes up he- “

“C-could you j-just quiet down for a s-second.” This took her off-guard. He was legitimately uninterested in her. She leaned over to see what kind of euphoric, next gen shit he could be working on that would-

It was Fullmetal Alchemist. He was just watching Fullmetal Alchemist. IT WASN’T EVEN THE ACTUAL EPISODE, IT WAS THE OPENING! THE OPENING HE’D PROBABLY SEEN 1000 TIMES! That was it, desperate times call for desperate measures.

“Hey, would you like to go out with **me,** on a date?” That was it, royal flush, this guy probably hadn’t even seen a girl that wasn’t on a screen before now. There was a long silence, which Junko firstly mistook for being flustered but then realized he’d just taken a long slurp of his cup noodles. Finally, he put the small container down, and without even looking at her, he said:

“Sorry, I’ve already got a girlfriend. T-thanks for the offer though.”

This sent Junko railing. She leaned in very close to his ear, with clear bloodlust in her eyes.

“Get these goddamn headphones off!” She swiped at his head, nocking the pair to the floor.

“H-Hey!”

“You are a bug to me, Ryota, a fucking bug. I could squish you with the boot of my heel, or get my military trained sister to do it for me…if she answered my calls, but that’s not the point! You are giving up a lifetime opportunity here, just so you can watch Edward Elric do the same stupid circle he does every time, don’t throw your pointless fucking life away.”

Mitari’s eyes widened at her threat, slowly but surely, he turned and he turned and…oh my god he didn’t give a shit, he was picking up his fucking headphones.

“YOU’RE USELESS TO ME!” Junko exploded, storming out of the room.

* * *

 

Junko had made a crucial error. As the ultimate analyst, she hadn’t predicted Mitaris response which had thrown off her whole level of analysis, which meant she had gone down to the bowels of hell known as hopes peak elementary by accident.

There, she was mobbed by those little fucks who just wouldn’t stop obsessing over her. They demanded they read them bedtime stories, which she did for 3 fucking hours, before they fell asleep on their stupid beanbag chairs. Afterwards she planted an ink bomb in Monacas locker just for the laughs, but even then, she felt like a fucking failure.

Junko Enoshima, empress of despair, mayor of misery, groom de gloom, sorcerer of your doom (these were nicknames she’d made up for herself at the start of the year, she had a dozen more, but she figured she’d cut it short), had gone from potentially destroying the entire world in her image, to pulling pranks on paraplegic children.

This was bad, but if it came down to that so be it. Junko was gonna bottle rocket bomb those stupid kids next-door. Those little 5-year-old gremlins who were somehow both early risers and nightbirds, so she could be greeted by their infernal screeching all day and night. Junko loaded it up for launch, targets in sight, ready to pop the boy in the head, before she realized something…

Hadn’t she done this same thing before?

Actually, she did this constantly. Last time, a ball had been thrown into the yard, denting the drain. Junko fired up her set, ready to completely take this kid’s heads off but Mukuro stopped her…and the time before that Mukuro stopped her, and the time before that and the time before that and the time before…

She let out her third massive groan of the day, and tipped her kit over, walking back into the living room.

* * *

 

TVs connected people. That’s what the advertisers said, but Junko didn’t feel connected to anything. She felt like the world was laughing at her, and maybe just maybe, watching Batman Beyond: Return of The Joker was not helping. She changed the channel rapidly, before settling on Nic Cage’s National Treasure. It was impossible to stay mad when you’re watching a Nic Cage movie.

Then she heard the doorknob creak, and Mukuro stepped through the door.

“Oh, hey sis.” Enoshima said, pleasantly surprised. The soldier did not share her same cheer.

“Hey.” With that, she was already working her way up stairs.

“You skipped, like, every class today. Is everything okay?” Junko didn’t even realize what she’d said.

Mukuro didn’t say anything but she did stop at the stairs, probably because Junkos kindness was surprising. The silence hung in the air, before the fashionista morally readied herself from what she was about to say.

“I’m really sorry Makoto rejected you. It must suck…super hard.” Junko hadn’t ever really been this nice before, so finding what to say was coming as a struggle. “I’m sure…you’ll get back on your feet soon.”

Enoshima reprimanded herself for being so stupid as there was a distinct lack of noise from anyone and anything (except those hellspawn next door), until small sniffles were heard. Mukuro turned around, with tears slowly trickling down her face.

“Thanks.”

“You…wanna watch Nicholas Cage movies with me?”

Ikusaba rubbed her eyes, gave a small smile and reluctantly sat next to Junko on the couch.

* * *

 

Despair? Who the fuck needed despair? Despair was overrated. Junko had been bored for a majority of her life, yes, but that might be because she spent a majority of her life watching Russian car crash videos. No, what she needed was someone else with her, so, fuck it, it was time to try speed dating.

First, she made a mental note of who was taken in the class: Leon, Makoto, Sayaka, Toko.

Then she ran through the rest of the people in her head. Junko had never been picky when it came to gender. After 35 minutes of intense deliberation, Junko finally dialled in a number and waited for the pickup.

“Hey, Aoi? Yeah, it’s me…”


	46. Helping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mitari finds out somethings wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Please note that this fic contains some pretty dark undertones (not Gundham jacking off) that readers may find disturbing, as it focuses alot on Mikans home life. Not much is explicitly shown, but theres some real fucked up implications, so if you're shaken by any of the following: Domestic abuse, sexual abuse or mental health problems, please skip or read with caution)

**_(Please Read The Disclaimer)_ **

 

This was it, the moment any teenage boy waited for. He had his girlfriends journal, where she probably wrote everything, in the palm of his hands. Mikan had been out at her parents’ place for a few days, and since she had some weird new medicine in the freezer, she had simply asked Mitari to give it a new seal once a day. What Mitari hadn’t expected was to find her journal smack dab on the center of her desk.

Just as he was about to open it, the word “trust” hit him like a truck. Would opening this book be a betrayal of Mikans trust? _Maybe…_ but it was then that Mitaris insecurities took over. It was just to see how she really felt about him with an unbiased view. He thrust the pages open and read a few.

At first there was nothing too bad, just stuff about what amount of medicine different patients were on, but he read further and further, he found…unspeakable things. Things her father and mother were doing to her…it made Ryota feel sick. He practically slammed the book down on her desk, and rushed to his own room.

He really wished he hadn’t read that.  

Mikan came back a few days later, and never had Ryota been so happy that he was naturally nervous. He wanted to believe it wasn’t true, that she was overdramatizing, but it explained a lot of things. The scratches on her neck, the times she flinched when he kissed her, the bruises that randomly showed. He mentally berated himself over and over and over for not noticing. He’ll make it better, he swears he will.

* * *

 

Ryota learns to realizes the warning signs, and acts appropriately. When she’s been yelled at, he’ll shower her in compliments the whole day.

_“You’re really pretty today, Tsumiki.”_

_“Thanks for the help, you’re way better at studying than I am”_

If he thought they’d hit her, he’d try and be subtly extra affectionate. Just doing small things like slipping his arm over her shoulder. I mean, they were all small little things, but Mitari had betrayed her trust, even if she didn’t know it, so he was determined to make it up to her.

 

He had kept this up for a solid week, until one day, cracks started to form. It was the one Mitari had never really prepared himself for, but by the signs of how Mikan was acting, her father had…touched her.

Ryota made sure to give her a lot of space, but also at the same time, give her subtle moral support. In theory this should’ve worked, but for some reason Tsumiki was looking at him weird throughout the whole day.

The day wound down, and Mikan had invited Mitari over to her dorm, just to hang out. Warning signs immediately went off in Ryotas head, Mikan was usually way too nervous to even kiss him unprompted, so this was way out of his element.

For the next 30 minutes they watched TV, and Mikan showed him videos of bunny rabbits she’d found on youtube (as well as videos of surgeries she’d found, but Mitari insisted that he was fine with not seeing them). It was fun…until he noticed something. He’d never known the nurse to be incredibly perceptive, but Mikan was watching him, watching his every move in how he reacted to her, until she finally murmured.

“D-did you read my journal?”

Mitaris throat became dry as he looked at her. His natural instinct was to lie, it wasn’t like she could prove it…but he couldn’t do that to her.

“Y-Yes. I’m so, so, so sorry Mikan. I didn’t- “

“How much did you read?” There wasn’t a hint of stutter in her voice.

“I read about your parents.” Mitaris tone was small and low. Mikan turned her head away, there was a long silence…until she grabbed at her hair, mumbling. At first the words were too soft to hear, but as Mitari listened closer and her movement became more erratic they started to become clear.

“Forgive me. Forgive me. Please, please, please…” Her voice gradually got higher and higher, and she pulled at her hair harder and harder. Ryota was shocked, he didn’t know what to do. It was like he’d been soldered to the floor.

Mikans actions only continued to grow more eccentric and violent, until she felt arms wrap around her stomach, being pulled into a hug. Mitaris feet had finally fucking moved.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He whispered in her ear, causing the hair-pulling and screaming to stop. “I’m sorry I read it, but I’m g-gonna t-try and make it b-better f-for y-you. It’s-it’s gonna be alright…”

Mikans heavy breathing started to slow, as she slowly rested her hands in a ball just under her chest.

“R-r-ryota?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Can you s-stay for the night?” Mikan managed to stammer out.

“Sure.” Ryota replied with a soft smile, as Tsumiki continued to look at the ground.

It wasn’t gonna be alright, Mikan knew this. She’d known it for as long as she’d been alive, but it felt...nice that she finally had someone who was trying to make it alright. She fell asleep pretty quickly after that thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to annotate some of the writing here, as I feel it might be lost in translation, Mitari is not completely in the right just because he did something nice for Mikan. Him reading her journal is the wrong thing to do, as the only way to morally justify it would be if he suspected her of being abused, which, as implicated by his shock, he didn't. Right does not mask a wrong, and the reason Mikan doesn't flip out at him in particular is because of her own issues with the subject of blame.


	47. A Day On The Pier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoma Skips Stones and Korekiyo mans a ship.

“77 bottles of beer on the wall, 77 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 77 bottles of beer on the wall” Kokichi sang as the school bus gloomily drove down the freeway. His heart evidently, wasn’t even in it, as his voice was low.

It wasn’t a nice day today. The 79 had been sent on a trip to learn about fishing, which was exciting to no one in the whole world. The day was murky, as dark clouds filled the skys with small amounts of rain scattered in-between. They’d been driving for 2 hours, with little end in sight. Truly this was going to be an entirely uneventful outing.

* * *

 

Maki sighed as she set foot onto the dark damp pier. She hated the feeling of sodden wood slipping against her shoes, it was hard to even stay up. However, an air of comedy arose as she saw Shuichi dressed up in a life jacket.

“Are you kidding me?”

“What?”

“Your seriously gonna wear that all day?”

“Well, you never know when you could fall off a pier…did you know that 12% of deaths in Japan are Pier-related.”

Maki audibly snorted, breaking into a small smile.

“Wow.”

“Holy shit! That’s an actual boat!”

Two voices (one noticeably louder than the other) drew the couple’s attention. They looked down to see Korekiyo and Kaito dragging an old, wooden sailboat through the small, sandy terrain that resided at the surface.

“Well, come on ‘Kiyo, we gotta take this thing out on the water.”

“Very well, Momota, but we’ll need a crew. * **Ahem** * Excuse me!” Korekiyos voice boomed out across the small, enclosed “beach” (using that term loosely). “We have found a medium sized, wooden sailboat, and we want to sail with it. Is anyone willing to join Captain Kiyo?”

“And Captain Kaito!!”

“Assistant-to-The-Captain Kaito.” Shinguiji corrected.

“Wait, what?”

“Please hurry it up!”

“I-I’ll go.” Shuichi said from his spot on the pier.

“Huh? Why?!” Maki harshly whispered at him.

“What? There’s nothing better to do.”

“…Fine I’ll go to.” Maki reluctantly said.

“Glorious! That’s three on Kiyos Crew.”

“Do you have to talk about it in the third person every time?” Shuichi asked, which was ignored.

“Gonta will go too!” The entomologist excitedly announced, as he bounded down to where the Captain was standing. If Maki didn’t know better, she would’ve sworn she was a slight blush emanating from Kaitos features at this announcement. Was it the light?

“Excellent! Now, Momota, Gokuhara, please assist me on getting this boat working.”

* * *

 

Ryoma liked to skip rocks. There was something nice about the rhythm of a perfectly skipped stone, waving across the water. Some people called it boring, Ryoma called it relaxing. It was better than his other hobbies at least which were, in descending order: Tennis, Virtua Tennis, Pulling prank phone calls on phone scammers and poking millipedes with burning matches. Just kidding, he didn’t own virtua tennis…he was also bad at skipping stones.

“What’cha doing Ryoma?” Kaede curiously asked, sneaking up behind the tennis pro.

“Skipping stones.” He replied blankly.

“Oh! Me and my sister used to do this all the time when she was young. I never really got the grip of it.”

“Really? It’s pretty easy, watch this.” Ryoma closed his eyes and let the spirits of the stone skippers of old guided his arm. Small sparks of electricity fluttered around him like butterflies as Kaede watched in awe. He was like an artist and the ocean was his canvas. He leaned back and threw the stone.

It sank as soon as it hit the water.

“Huh. Guess I’ve still got a ways to go.” He said nonchalantly, while leaving Kaede, in no certain terms, completely blue balled.

“Damn, not the best form, huh?” Rantaro butted in, suddenly appearing beside Ryoma.

“Everyone thinks they can sneak up on me today.” The shorter boy grunted.

“Watch this.” Rantaro picked up one of the stones from Ryomas dog pile. He casually tossed it, only for it **skip into the horizon line**.

“…What?” Ryoma said, currently crunching the numbers of how that was possible in his mind.

“Wow! Amazing Rantaro!” Kaede said. “Give me a try.” The pianist picked up a stone and threw it. While it didn’t do as well as Rantaros, it still had a decent amount of skips. Then Ryoma tossed his...he was 90% sure it hit and killed a large bird.

* * *

 “What shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do with a drunken sailor, what shall we do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?” Kaito sung out, in what was possibly the worst British accent Shuichi had ever heard.

“A beautiful thing the see is isn’t it?” Korekiyo commented, as Maki sighed. “Oh, not enjoying the climate, Miss Harukawa.”

“Understatement of the century.” Maki replied, picking at her nails. The wisp of air suddenly shot through her hair, as a stone came flying right at her head, only for the assassin to bat it away.

“Sorry!” She heard Ryoma shout from all the way back at the pier.

“Is that…hydrophobia I sense?” Korekiyo asked, still steering the boat.

“What?! No, I just- “She protested as Shuichi let out a small laugh, directing Harukawas evil-eyed glare to him.

“Hydro…phobia?” Gonta asked curiously.

“She’s scared of the water.” Korekiyo replied plainly.

“I am not!”

“Do not worry Maki, Gonta is scared of the water also!” Gokuhara said politely.

“Oh, don’t be scarred of the **water** Gonta! I can totally protect you from that!” Kaito exclaimed motioning to his chest.

“Ohhh? Are you a waterbeder?”

“Does this answer your question?” Kaito proceeded to do a few kung-fu moves that were about on-par with his British accent, until he brought his foot down against the brittle wood, shattering it, causing a decently sized hole to form.

“…Hahahaha!” Kaito laughed.

“Hahahaha!” It spread to Gonta and Shuichi. Even Maki let out a small giggle. Kiyo simply realised they were sinking.

* * *

 

Ryoma didn’t know about this. An hour had gone by and he still wasn’t getting the hang of stone skipping. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he’d slowly faded into the depths of resignation.

“Come on Hoshi, don’t give up yet.” Kaede encouraged him, but even she was starting to realize that he may just be a lost cause. “Rantaro, what do you do to get them to skip that way?”

“Well...” He said, aiming another shot “You just gotta focus on something you like and let your wrist do the rest.” With that, he threw another one for yards.

Ryoma breathed out, and let the thoughts wash over him. He remembered when he was younger and his family would take walks out to the park. He remembered the first tennis championship he ever won. He remembered the people in this school. He tossed the stone. It skipped twice.

Rantaro and Kaede both sweat palmed at that lackluster throw, but turned to see Ryoma grinning ear-to-ear.

“I skipped it” was all he said.

* * *

 

The crew of The U.S.S.Korkiyo were currently huddled around Shuichis one remaining life jacket, deciding who would get the chance to use it to escape.

“Well, first things first, I am the captain so I should get the jacket.”

“That hardly seems fair.” Shuichi said.

“It’s bullshit is what it is.” Kaito yelled back.

“With all due respect Momota, I am not the one who put his foot through the floor.”

“Yeah, okay.” The astronaut grumbled back. “Why don’t we give it to Maki-Roll then? She’s scarred half to death!”

“I’m not scared.” Maki said, tone hard and low.

“Are you sure Harukawa, because- “Shuichi started.

“I’m **Fine**.” Maki venomously said back, causing her boyfriend to flinch.

“No, no! Maki should go first!” Gonta spoke up. “Gonta saw it in movie with Leonardo Decafe.” Korekiyo and Shuichis eyebrows raised in synch. “Women and children always go first from a sinking ship.” 

“Well then it’s settled, Maki gets the life jac- “Shuichi once again started, only for Korekiyo to shove past him and slap an Uno reverse card in The Assassins lap.

“The fuck is this?” Maki asked

“Our genders have been swapped.” Kiyo replied coolly. “I’m the captain, I make the rules of the boat. I also renounce my role as captain.”

“What?! You can’t- “

“If you have a problem with this, please take it up with the captain.”

Korekiyo lunged for the life jacket, only for Gonta to snatch it out of his grasp and throw it across the river.

“Gonta, why would you do that?!” Korekiyo screamed as he s

“See, now it is fair, none of us get’s the jacket.”

“…Very well.” Korekiyo made a crucifixion pose as he leapt off the boat, floating on his back. Kaito followed suite, except instead using freestyle swimming. Gonta practically cannonballed off, causing water to explode around him. Shuichi sighed and launched himself off, before looking to his side, where a red flash, faster than his eye could even perceive, dashing through the water. She swam and swam and swam and didn’t stop until she’d felt the crinkle of sand beneath her.

* * *

 

“I got you a towel.” Shuichi said, passing said object to Maki, who was shivering, legs folded up.

“Thanks.”

“So, you were scared of the water after all huh?”

“I wasn’t **scared** of the water.”

“Harukawa…”

“I mean it…I just don’t like when I look down. I see a big empty hole of nothingness and I feel it’s gonna swallow me up with it.”

“So, you’re scared of heights?”

“No, with heights I can at least see where my bodies gonna hit.”

“Fear of the unknown?”

“Basically.” Shuichi noticed Makis speech starting to jitter and change pitch. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Where do you see us in five years?”

“Hmm…” Shuichi gave the answer a long thought before answering “I could see us together.”

“Yeah, I can too.” The couple shot each other a pair of soft smiles before Maki continued to ramble. “But if we’re going to still be together in five years, we need to get at least kind of serious, right?”

“…Maki…D-do you m-mean sex?!”

“What?! No! No! Jeez, that is the most pathetic thing to say, especially from you, cause five years from know I see you in a perpetual state of virginity!” Maki switched suddenly, scrunching her blushing face closer to her legs. After a brief silence she spoke again.

“…I want to go over to your house and meet your parents.”

“Well one of those things is achievable.” Shuichi muttered under his breath. Normally, Maki would’ve caught it but she was so on-edge that the comment only brought up a:

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Anyway, I just wanted to lay that on the table.” Maki said.

“…Yeah, we can do that.”

“Cool.” She simply said back, only to seconds later, scoot her hand over to his. Before Shuichi could even speak, she replied with:  


“Don’t ruin it.”

Shuichi followed the warning and sat there, hand in hand with Maki, just letting the sea wash over them. The terrible, gloomy, beautiful sea. Maki couldn’t take her own advice.

“Also, I’m pretty sure Kaitos gay.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, we back. Sorry if it seems like I'm cramming all the LGBTQ+ ships in here, but legit, Gonta and Kaito was always meant to start building here. Aoi/Junko was pretty spur of the moment but I think it's a nice ship for NonDespair Junko. If anyone wants me to clear up some cannon in this fic shoot me a comment and I'll clear some non-spoiler things up. (Except the timeline, which is intentionally pretty fucked up just because having to abide by school years exactly would constrain the fic heaps)


	48. Slumber Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was a slumber party quickly turns into petty squabbles and a search for Sasquatch.

Toko had not known the joys of sleeping in until a few months ago, when she’d moved into the hope’s peak dorms. Before, she’d definitely been a early riser, usually so she’d have more time spent not interacting with her parents, but all that work had gone to waste now that she would often spend long hours, strewn out over her bed. 

This is why it’s all the more annoying that she had someone knocking at her door, at eight in the morning no less.

“C-coming.” She said, dragging herself off the matters and down onto the floor, before shooting up and grasping the door handle, opening it with a **click**.

“Hey...Woah, you look great with your hair down.” The happy-go-lucky voice of Makoto Naegi came ringing into her ears, causing her to let out a small “eep” of surprise.  
“H-Hey! You said you weren’t c-coming back until next week.”

“Yeah, one of the return flights my dad booked was week earlier than the others.”

“You could’ve told m-me.”

“I wanted to surprise you.” He responded with a smile, which transfixed the literary girl until she was snapped out of her daze by him saying “Hey, are you going to that slumber party thing?”

“Uh, don’t r-remind me.”

“Not excited?”

“N-not at all. You a-at least get to be i-in the same room as Yasuhiro, s-so you know s-something funnies gonna h-happen. I have to be w-with people like Sayaka and C-Chihiro.”

“You don’t like them?”

“Their fake.” She spat.

“No, Sayakas nice.” Makoto tried to protest, but he saw Tokos views were generally unwavering.

“…D-do you want to h-hang out later?”

“Oh? Yeah, sure. Just let me go finish that bet I had with Yasuhiro”

“What bet?”

“…That I can touch the top of the doorframe on the 3rd floor.”

Toko snorted, breaking out into laughter, before slowly closing the door and retreating back to the safe haven of bed.

* * *

 

Laptop? Check. Toiletries? Check. PJs? Wait…Chihiro came to a sudden realization that pajamas might not have been the best idea when he had to sleep in the girl’s dorms. This thought caused the programmer to sigh, drawing attention from his companions.

“What’s wrong dude?” Mondo asked from the floor, where he and Ishimaru were playing video games.

“Nothing much.” Chihiro said, his tone obviously implying “much”.

“Oh…it’s cause you gotta sleep with the chicks huh?”

“Yeah.”

“Man, why are you even complaining? You’re gonna be knees deep in hot snatch.”

“Owada, that’s inappropriate!” Taka interjected loudly, causing Mondo to roll his eyes.

“It’s not like I’m able to utilize any of that…” hot snatch” anyway.” Chihiro said back. “When’s the right time to tell them I have a dick? Third date?”

Mondo sniggered. “You’re funny Chihiro Fujisaki.”

“You sound weird when you pronounce full names, Mondo Owada.”

“That’s fair, Chihiro Fujisaki.”

“I’m Kiyotaka Ishimaru!” Takas voice boomed out. “…Is that what we were doing?”

“Close enough…anyway, Chihiro, I’ll have your back all night, so don’t worry about anything.”

“How are you going to have my back from a room away?”

“See, that’s the thing, I’ll just hang around the doorway for Sayakas dorm, and, unlike the city, no cops can arrest me for loitering!”

Chihiros eyes slanted, as he sighed. This was gonna be a long night

* * *

 

The two groups of girls and boys gathered just outside Leon and Sayakas dorms (which happened to be next to each other, which is what is known as a “writers’ coincidence).

“So, who’s not here?” Sayaka said, pulling out a small sheet of paper. “Junko…” She said, tone almost whispery. It was then that Aoi felt a small brush of air on her back.

“A-O-I-Your name is too short, and I don’t wanna say your second name! **AOI** ” Junko attempted to chant, causing Asahina to giggle.

“There’s Junko.” Sayaka plainly said, tone not rising. “Is Byakuya here?”

“He said he’d be here at 7:35” Makoto spoke up from the huddle.

“Why? I told everyone to meet me here at 7:30”

“Arriving intentionally late is rule 10 on “Byakuya Togamis 20 steps of how to make an effective powerplay””

“And you know this off by heart why?” Sayaka asked, looking up from her clipboard.

“I have had to listen to a step-by-step breakdown at least ten times.”

“That’s so sad. Anyway, it seems someone else has taken his manual- “

“Program.” Makoto corrected only to receive a death glare in response.

“Yasuhiros not-oh sweet jesus.”

When she’d spotted him coming down the hall, Sayaka had assumed that Yasuhiro had simply been holding a colored pen…in his mouth…with steam exhalating from it…now she realized it was a vape.

“What are you doing?” Kyoko sternly asked him, only for her tone to go unnoticed.

“Huh?”

“ _Dude…_ ” Leon managed to say between laughs.

“ **What are you doing?** ” Kirigiri repeated.

“Oh, I’m just…hold up…” Yasuhiro scuttled over to Makotos position, much to the lucksters chagrin.

“Psst…” Yasuhiro attempted to whisper, but, in-character for him, he was actually speaking louder than most peoples normal talking voice “Naegs…who’s talking right now, I think it’s either Kyoko or Mukuro but they both have **really** similar voices.”

“It’s Kyoko.” Makoto said simply, trying to end the conversation.

“Okay, thanks…I’m pretty sure she’s a narc.” Yasuhiro said, unintentionally baiting Makoto into a minor argument.

“Oh, that’s ridiculous.”

“Nuh-uh. You ever seen The Wire?”

“How is that relevant at all?”

“No, cause in The Wire there’s an episode where a detective comes in and turns out to be a narc for his buddies.”

“…Did that happen on The Wire? I don’t remember that episode.”

“Season 6, episode 12.”

“There was no season 6 of The Wire.”

“Wait, really...What am I thinking of?”

“We can hear you.” Celeste interjected, snapping the two out of their chatter. There was a long, uncomfortable silence (sans Leons shithead laughter) until the unmistakable sound of Togami walking filled the air.

“I’m here. Are you all surprised to see me?”

“Nope, we’re just bored.” Junko replied.

“…Naegi, I’m going to need to make some revisions to the program.” He said, causing the luckster to let out a loud groan.

* * *

 

“So, girls, what are we gonna talk about?” Sayaka enthusiastically asked, only to be greeted by nothing. Kyoko was more interested in her gloves for starters and the rest were just starring at her awkwardly.

“…Guys, anything. Celeste, what about you, you’ve gone all over the country, do you have any stories?”

“I do, but I will not be sharing them. I am making a card house…” The coldness in her words set off another silence, before it was surprisingly broken by Toko.

“S-She’s starring at m-me funny.” The writer spat out, motioning her hands over to Mukuro.

“I am not.” Ikusaba replied venomously, purposely looking no where in particular.

“You a-are so!”

“Okay, I’m not the teacher, settle it yourselves.” Sayaka frustratingly said, almost ready to storm off, her anger being fueled by a massive wave of cheers from beyond her walls.

“Woah, ‘Yaka- “Junko started.

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sounded better in my head. Saya’?”

“Decent, not great.”

“Whatever, you seem real super tense.”

“…Me and Leon had a bet. I said our party would be way funner than theirs…I think I guessed incorrectly.”

“Wow. Were there monetary stakes in this?” Asahina piped up.

“No…just the fact that I’m gonna have to see his dumb smug face at the end…oh, it makes me **so mad**.” Maizono boiled, as a small fight broke out behind her.

“Q-quit l-looking at me like that.”

“I’m not even staring at your general vicinity.”

“Y-You so are.”

“Am not.”

“A-are too!”

“Am not.”

” Are too!”

* * *

 

“So, then Schwarzenegger crashes into through the glass, looks at Stallone and says “You fucked up my face” before hitting the jump kick **_ZWING!_** ”

“Feel free to stop anytime.”

“No, Byakuya, I’m almost finished.” Yasuhiro said, earning a groan from the boys. At this point, Mondo had regretted asking if anyone had seen Expendables 4, because when it became apparent no one except Yasuhiro had, the older boy took it upon himself to describe the entire plot in painstaking detail.

“And then- “

“Okay, Yasuhiro. We have actually **all** seen Expendables 4, so you can stop telling us the story.” Byakuya once again interjected

“Damn, why didn’t you guys say so?” There was an internal sigh of relief between every boy.

“Okay, so what should we even do?” Leon lazily asked.

“We could watch anime!” Hifumi said from his spot on the bed.

“Great suggestion Yamada, now ours all seem better by comparison.” Togami spat, causing the doujin artists face become one of depression.

“I say we go on a panty raid.” Yasuhiro suggested.

“With the girls…who are all right next to us?” Byakuya sneered.

“…Yes.”

“Okay, Yamada your ideas officially been bumped up one on the “Byakuya Togami intuitive idea ranking””

“He’s really good with names” Makoto murmured.

“Oh, come on Byakuya, it’s a classic college thing.” Yasuhiro whined

“Well firstly, this is not a college, this is a high school.” The Heir became slightly concerned when he saw Yasuhiros face become one of surprise “Secondly, that’s grossly misogynistic. Thirdly…”

“Me and Makoto are already getting a piece.” Leon spoke up.

“And thank you for undermining point two Leon.”

“We could play scrabble!” Ishimaru piped up.

“Utterly boring, but currently #1 on the B.T.I.I.R” Togami replied, leaving Ishimaru unsure of how to feel.

“Let’s loiter around the school!” Mondo yelled.

“What even…No, no, 0, ranking 0.” Byakuya replied, gob smacked at the sheer stupidity of the suggestion. “Makoto what about you?” He asked, pleading his friend to just give one amusing sugg-

“I’m fine with whatever the group wants.”

“GOD DAMN IT!” Byakuya, in a fit of annoyance, thrusted his fist sideways, colliding with Leons wall. Out of nowhere, a hole opened up in the baseball stars ceiling, accompanied by ladder.

“Would you look at that?” The heir earnestly stated.

“What the hell?!” Kuwata shouted, clearly distressed by the fact that a secret entrance to god knows what.

“Duuude, I’ve heard about these.” Hagakure

“Huh?” Every boy present said, clearly wanting to know more.

“Yeah, that religious chick in the 79 was telling me about this.”

“Yasuhiro, what have we told you about talking to the 79?” Makoto scolded

“No, this is serious. She says they store sasquatch up in the rooftops...”

Silence hung in the room, as the sheer stupidity set in, surely no one could actually believe what Yasuhiro was saying.

“…Dude, I totally believe that.” Leon said. “Sonia from the 77 said the same thing!” Apparently, he didn’t know what a domino effect was.

“Come on, there is no way we are going to go up to a mysterious, poorly-lit room to find **_sasquatch_** ” Byakuya said rhetorically, only to find a pair of various eyes looking at him like **he** was the idiot….

“ ** _Sigh…_** Fine then, let’s go.” A cheer was let out among the students as they all went up. On the way, Ishimaru noticed Mondo not moving from his spot on the couch.

“Bro, come on?”  


“Sorry Bro, I’m staying back, don’t want to get messed up in any of that sasquatch buisness.”

“Oh, OK!”

Mondo gazed down at his cellphone and smiled.

* * *

 

**_Mondo Owada_ ** _at 8:02_

You doing Ok?

 ** _Chihiro Fujisaki_** at _8:02_

I’m booooooored.

**_Mondo Owada_ ** _at 8:03_

Lmao. B over in a sec.

* * *

 

Aoi considered herself generally pretty smart when it came to playing cards, but she just couldn’t wrap her head around “Junko-Jack” …probably because the rules were unwrappable.

“Wait, so if I use the four cards of Exodia on here, does that mean I get 2 extra Junko points in my secondary slot.” The swimmer asked.

“Nah, that’s not how Exodia works. Also, there’s no secondary slot anymore, I got rid of it, cause it’s boring.”

“Your games suck babe.” She frustratedly, earning a loud laugh from Enoshima.

Sayaka, in the meanwhile, had decided she wouldn’t waste her time by playing Junko-Jack and instead she would waste her time watching Toko and Mukuro make passive aggressive jabs at each other, Sakura mediating, Chihiro mashing away at her computer and Kyoko doing…whatever Kyoko was doing.

That was, until she spotted Mondo…standing outside her dorm?

“What are you doing, Owada?” She asked curiously.

“Loitering.”

“Seriously?” She responded.

Chihiro had initially been happy by Mondos appearance, had now realized that, yes, Mondos plan had just been to stand around the girls’ dorm. The programmer attempted to awkwardly shuffle over stealthily, only to be seen by Sayaka.

“Fujisaki, what are you doing?”

“Nothing much.” (s)he said, uncomfortably rolling on his legs to create the illusion that he wasn’t indeed moving.

“Oh, what’s wrong with your voice.” Celeste said from behind her slowly building house of cards.

Chihiros mind started to race. Stupid! He’d gotten so out of character, he’d neglected to use his “girl” voice, which, while not being that much different from his normal pitch, was certainly softer enough than how he usually sounded.

“Uhhhh…. I h-have a c-cold” He replied, throwing in the “sure-to-win” stutters.

“Really? And those stutters…they come with your cold as well?” They certainly did not win this time.

“Superfluous Stutteration.” He quickly replied.

“Ah, I see.” Celeste said, not quite buying it, but letting it go, at least until she googled superfluous sutteration. A **_boom_** rippled through the room, causing her stack to topple over. “God damn it.” Her accent dipped off.

“Anyway…Mondo, how’s Leons party going.” Sayaka asked, unaware that Leon had given every person at his party a 10-minute lecture about this very situation.

“Uh, it’s going great. Lots of booze, lots of- “

“Alcohol! That’s it! Why didn’t **we** get alcohol? Wait…who mentioned to me that if I bought alcohol, one of us would end up getting “Princess Diana’d””

Everyone looked at Junko, Junko looked at the ceiling.

“Whatever, so nothings gone wrong?”

“Nope, nothing.” Mondo replied, cool as a cucumber only for his point to be undermined as a blood curdling scream came hurtling through the school. The sound of stomping feet rung out as Hifumi came dashing through into the girl’s dorm.

“HELP! WE DISCOVERED A SECRET ENTRANCE IN THE TOP OF MR.KUWATAS ROOM, AND NOW THEIR ALL STUCK UP THERE!”

“Hifumi, slow down.” Sakura calmly said. “Offer us a simpler explanation for why you just rushed down the hall, screeching like a hunted pig”

Yamada recomposed himself and gave the group a brief recap, causing Mondos anger to surge.

“God damn it! Taka’d be freaking out right now. Dude fucking hates the dark.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that Mr. Owada. They have a torch.”

* * *

 

“And there goes our fucking torch.” Byakuya cursed as he wandered through the dark cellar, boys in tow.

“Try flipping it on and off again.” Yasuhiro helpfully suggested.

“I would Yasuhiro, except for the fact that it was being powered by a literal potato, so the light already wasn’t the strongest…maybe I’ll just rearrange the cords, surely I can- “  

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that.” Yasuhiro said, the Heir ignoring his advice and fumbling with the insides anyway, only to find no potato there.

“What on earth…where did the bloody potato go.”

A long silence hung in the air until the crunching sound of Yasuhiros jaw became unmistakable.

“Oh, you are kidding me.”

“Taka dude, you doing OK?” Leon asked, knowing full-well that the ultimate moral compass did not react well to being surrounded by pitch-black darkness.

“Kuwata, y-you have no need to worry, I-I-I am fine.”

The sharp sound of glass clinking was heard, causing Taka to let out a high-pitched screech, swinging his hands around and in the process, sending Makoto tumbling to the ground.

“Ahh! Man Down! Man Down!” He signaled, desperately trying to figure out the X and Y Axis.

“Naegi, stand up. We don’t have all day.”

“I stand “up” when I don’t know what “up” is! I’ve been holding onto Takas sleeve this whole time.”

“Oh, how romantic.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t give him shit Byakuya. I’ve been latched onto you for the whole way here.” Leon snided back

“What? No, you haven’t” Togami demonstrated his claim by spinning around in a full 360-degree circle.

“Shit, what have I been holding?”

* * *

 

It was fair to say Hifumi was overreacting was an understatement.  He was acting like he’d been in the trenches of WW1, when really, his friends were locked in the cellar looking for Sasquatch,

“Okay, Yamada. Let me run off some details.” Mukuro started. “Who was leading the pack?”

“Mr. Togami and Mr. Hagakure.”

“Okay, where would Naegi have been positioned?”

“W-Wouldn’t you like to know?” Toko interrupted causing Mukuro to stare daggers back.

“Excuse me? I’m the ultimate soldier and I’m trying to use my talent to successfully command-.”

“M-more like the ultimate cuckquean.” Fukawa stammered out, evidently not meaning too. A gasp was heard from almost every person in the room, except for Junko who made a joking “O” shape with her mouth, and Celeste, who didn’t care.

“…What did you just say.”

“N-nothing. I-I said n-nothing.” Fukawas airtight defense didn’t quite fool Mukruo who swiftly grabbed her by her shoulder and dragged her out of the room.

Meanwhile, Enoshimas idea alarm had gone off and she’d thrust herself onto Sayakas bed, bashing in a vent.

“What are you doing?” Aoi asked.

“Unscrewing a vent, what does it look like?”

“Why are you doing?” Despite the grammar not being fantastic on the sentence, it definitely applied well to Junko.

“Well, if those morons are walking around up there, they’d probably be somewhere directly above us right now, assuming that the attic doesn’t stretch much farther than Leons and Sayakas room. Even if it did, my room definitely has a wall dividing it, as I discovered when knocking on it as soon as I got here. My room is 2 across from Leons so that only gives them around 25 meters to wriggle around in, provided the same wall is 2 away from Sayakas. Making a safe assumption that either Leon or Yasuhiro, possibly Makoto if his lucks on the fritz, held the group up and their almost certainly right on top of us. This vent will allow us to, one, save them if we realize their seriously injured, and two, listen to whatever dumb shit they have to say.”

Aoi was stunned, before smiling and jumping up to help Junko break it open.

“What on earth is happening over here?” Kyoko said, disturbed by the banging, Hifumis crying and he lack of Toko to talk too.

“Well, if those morons are walking around up there, they’d probably- “

“Okay babe, we don’t need the full rundown again.” Asahina interrupted. “Break vent and we can listen.”

“Why use many words when few words do.” Kyoko snarked back, causing the swimmer to pout. “This does sound interesting though, give me a listen.” Kyoko thrusted her head up to the vent and leaned in.

* * *

 

“What is your problem?!” Mukuro screamed, practically slamming Toko against a wall.

“What’s my p-problem? What’s **y-your** problem?!”

“What’s my problem?! What’s y- “

“Okay, w-we can skip this.”

“Anyway, what the fuck do you think you’re trying to pull?!” Mukuro shouted back.

“Y-you started it! You’re the one who was looking at me a-all w-weird!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Mukuro replied but while her tone was generally untelling, her eyes darted away.

“You d-do! We b-both k-know why you were- “

“Fine.” Mukuro interrupted “Maybe I was being a little…colder than usual.”

“I’d hate to see y-you get warmer.” Toko spat back.

“Shut up…. it’s just, I really liked him- “

“But he doesn’t like y-you, he l-likes me, and that doesn’t g-give you the right to t-take it out on m-me!” Fukawas aggression shocked the soldier, giving her another opportunity to fill in the gaps. “I g-get it. W-what happened to y-you was h-humiliating and it h-hurt and you s-spent d-days thinking about it…I know exactly how you feel.” Tokos face became pain stricken before her eyes sunk back to the ground. “But I t-think you’re smarter than letting it g-get to you…”

Both girls went silent, before Ikusaba brought her face upwards, making eye contact.

“I’m sorry I was being an asshole to you.”

“I-I’m sorry I called you a c-c-cuckquean.” Toko replied, causing Mukuro to crack a tiny, small, barely visible smirk.

“That was a pretty good one…just don’t do it again.” With that, she gave Toko the hardest “friendly” punch on the arm the writer had ever felt.

* * *

 

“Anyone else think this is like the predator?” Leon said, which caused Junko to almost burst in half laughing (hiding it, so they couldn’t hear her). “A badass group of dudes, hunting down some weird-ass creature?”

“Well, none of us fit the qualification of bad ass.” Togami said “Maybe me…” almost everyone, sans Ishimaru, scoffed at that “but Yasuhiro has sent us on a goose chase, searching for “sasquatch”, you make SoundCloud rap, Ishimaru is shitting himself by sheer virtue of being here, and Naegi can’t fight his way out of a paper bag.”

“That was one time, Komaru got it over my eyes, I couldn’t see, it wasn’t- “Makoto started on a tangent, only to be cut off by the progeny.  

“I was being rhetorical, but this further proves my point.” The panic in Togamis voice slowly started to rise. “Oh god, I’m gonna die in here.”

“Yeah, cause Sasquatch’ll get you.” Yasuhiro said. “If we still had a power source, we could see him coming at least, but you dropped the ball on that front dude.”

“YOU ATE THE BATTERY! Jesus Christ, I can picture the headlines now! “Togami heir found dead searching for **sasquatch** in the dark””

“I mean, I can light myself on fire and we can use **me** as a torch.” Hagakure decided to spitball.

“Fantastic, then I’ll have to answer Headmaster Kirigiri why my friend set himself ablaze, while we were **searching. For. Sasquatch** ”

“Yeah and you’re trying to date his daughter, so it’ll look even worse.” Leon pointed out.

Junko and Aois faces turned to Kyoko, who blushed intensely.

“Oh, that is a lie. She’s not a love interest, she’s just an acquaintance.”

Kyoko made the appearance of shrugging the comment off, as she’d been known to do with Byakuyas early-year insults but neither Aoi or Junko could realize how the detectives heart felt heavy.

“Oh, an acquaintance.” Leon repeated, tone high pitched and somewhat mocking Byakuyas slight British tongue.

“An acquaintance.” Yasuhiro repeated, same tone.

“Stop it.”

“Just an acquaintance.” Naegi responded

“Oh, acquaintance!” Ishimaru echoed, not exactly getting the joke.

“Ohh, detective acquaintance.” Leon cooed.

“Shut up.”

“Ohh, sometimes when I’m walking behind her, my eyes go down a tiny bit and- “Yasuhiro started but couldn’t finish his sentence as Byakuya crash tackled him to the floor. The sound of a crash caused Ishimaru and Leon to scream in fear of sasquatch and Makoto in fear of being sas-squashed…because he was still on the ground.

“Guys, guys, guys!” Aoi screamed in through the vent, but the collective chaos was too great for her voice to pierce. Cracks started to form in the celling from Yasuhiro and Byakuya scuffling.

“What the fuck?!” Sayaka yelled, as she observed the chaos.

“What the hells going on here?” Mukuro exclaimed, coming into the room with Toko but it was too late as a loud bump was heard, and Makoto came crashing through the ceiling on a slab of wood.

“Jesus Christ! Makoto are you OK?” Sayaka screamed.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Makoto mumbled from his place on the ground. “Let me just…”

“I think I’ll take him, Sayaka.” Toko murmured, hoisting Makoto up, arm over her shoulder and getting him out of the room. The dust settled, and the blue haired girls vision shot up to observe Leons eyes peeking through the gaping hole. The eyes very quickly retracted backwards, as Sayaka started screaming.

As the students cleared out, Ishimaru made his way down (thanks to help from Mondo and Chihiro).

“You doing okay bro.”

“Yes bro! We didn’t quite find the sasquatch but we did find friendship!”

“Was that before or after Byakuya took Yasuhiro to ground?”

Ishimaru let out a small laugh at the bikers’ joke, before Mondo himself turned to Chihiro.

“See, I told ya, loitering’s awesome.”


	49. Extreme Group Projects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What starts off as a fun time for everyone, with Miss Yukizomes "extreme group projects" program, uncovers alot of baggage between everyone.

“Gather round! Gather round!” Chisa said, her voice breaking the 77s chattering voices. “Now after your…less than positive results on your early year project...” The same project where Mahiru, Chiaki, Hajime and Gundham were the only people to even turn then in.  “We’ve updated the curriculum a tiny bit. Hopes peak is proud to introduce… **Extreme group projects!** ”

“Great, so we’re doing projects in an electrified cage?” Hajime suggested to a minor laugh.

“Close. We’ll be locking you into a room for 6 hours while you work on your projects.”

There was a long silence, as the class tried to comprehend what they’ve just heard. Eventually, Koizumi broke the silence with the most disappointed tone anyone had ever heard:

“…Oh my god, you’re serious.”

“Serious as a…I don’t know where I was going with that.”

“But Miss Yukizome! What if we hurt ourselves- “Every person in the room turned to Nagito. “The school will be liable.”

“There’s no need to worry, each group will have a chaperone, to make sure you crazy kids don’t get into too much trouble.”

“Great.” Mahiru spat back sarcastically.

“It is! But let’s move on to what you’ve all been waiting for…let’s read out the groups! Starting off, we have…Gundham, Ibuki, Nagito, Chiaki…”

“Woah! Double date!” The musician exclaimed prematurely.

“…Hajime and Mahiru!” Chisa finally finished.

“Woah! **Triple** date!”

“And your chaperone will be…Juzo!” That name was immediately meet with small, uncontained bursts of laughter from Hajime and Nagito. Juzo himself, strolled into the room, looking over Chisas shoulder.

“So, who’s in my group?” His eyes scrolled down the list, before visible irritation set in. “Seriously Yukizome?” He practically yelled, motioning to Nagito and Hajime.

“What? Scared of the two high schoolers? Juzo, don’t be a baby.” She said, writing his complaints off.

“They are little monsters!” He screamed back. 

“You’re overreacting. What have Hajime and Nagito ever done to you?”

“They once stole $50 of sports equipment and threw it down on me from the top of the school.”

“Circumstantial.” Hajime interrupted.

“I had to awaken every day for my private gym being covered in posters for something called “The Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan””

“Just a bit of political spirit” The attorney once again offered.

“When the shopping center had their “free tissues for poverty” event, they had 12,000 boxes shipped to my house **_manually_** ”

“There was no proof that was us.” Hajime shot back.

“And it wasn’t manual, we actually used a phone repeater…”

“Sssssh Nagito.” Hinata quickly shushed him.

“I’m not going anywhere near them.” Juzos anger was redirected at Yukizome, who refused to backdown.

“You are!” Chisa yelled back.

“Make me.”

“Okay.” With that, Chisa pulled out her cell and started to punch in Munakatas numbered, to which Juzo finally relented with a tremendous sigh.

“The other two groups are…Fuyuhiko, Peko, Kazuichi, Mitari and Sonia and Nekomaru, Hiyoko, Akane, Teruteru, Mikan and…Mitari? Whatever, you guys will figure it out.”

* * *

 

Cleaning up your dorm was hard work, especially when you had to make room for 6 people. Ibuki let out a groan and flopped down on her bed, letting out a groan.

“Gundham, come here, Ibukis gotta test out party games with you.”

“Sure” Tanaka reluctantly said, taking a seat next to his girlfriend.

“I’ll stat with this one…where do you see us in 10 years?”

“…That’s a very limited question.”

“Yeah, but we’re all couples so- “

“I don’t think it’s- “

“Just answer it.”

“……”

“Gundham?”

The breeders face scrunched up, his eyes clearly distressed. He had to remember what Kazuichi said, _don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it_.

“Are you serious?” Ibuki said, disappointment rolling off her tone.

“I intend to marry you in 10 years.” Gundham blurted out, almost immediately thrusting his hands over his mouth. The musician’s eyes widened, before her breath started to accelerate.

“Wha-Huh, just…hold on…”

Suddenly, the door handle clicked, and Nagito made his way into the dorm.

“Let yourself in, why don’t ya?” Ibuki quipped, still sending Gundham a transfixed look.

“My apologies Ibuki.” He replied, laying his sleeping bag down on the floor delicately. Suddenly, the door creaked again as Mahiru marched into the room, bedroll slung over her shoulder.

“Hey.” She nonchalantly said, setting up her own bedroll. Seconds passed before the door once again clicked and Hajime waltzed in.

“Okay, could you just leave the door open?” Ibuki said, annoyed.

* * *

 

“Takumi Hijihara? Who’s this fucker.” Fuyuhiko asked, reading through the group sheet Chisa had printed for them.

“Language, Kuzuryu.” Peko chided, causing the yakuza to let out a small “sorry.”

“It says he’s the homeroom teacher for the 78” Fuyuhiko continued, before once again he was interrupted by the sound of his door being ruthlessly kicked open. Takumi strolled into the room, locking it behind him and surveying the scene, before walking over to Fuyuhikos bed and pratically collapsing onto it.

“Great. He’s fucking useless.”

“ **Language Kuzuryu**.” Peko and Imposter both said in unison which only derived a sigh from the shorter boy.

“We have to construct a poster about the effect of waste on the ecosystem, correct?” Sonia asked, which earned a curt nod from Peko “I’m sure we can finish it up before the deadline.”

“That’s the spirit Miss Sonia!” Kazuichi yelled.

“Do not talk to me.”

“Fine. Imposter, you grab a computer or something, we’ll get started…” Fuyuhiko said, voice dripping with resignation. This was going to be a long six hours.

* * *

 

Oh my god. He was doing it again. Every 3 or so minutes, Hajime would stare at Juzo for just a few seconds, but it wasn’t a normal gaze, no, it was just **a bit** higher than his eyes. Did he have something on his forehead? Or was Hajime just messing with him? It seemed like it would be the latter but every time he looked, everyone else looked as well, but that could presumably be because Hajime was doing it. In the end, Juzo caved and scratched his head, upon which Hajime loudly snorted.

“Knock it off.” Juzo said, annoyed

“No idea what you’re talking about.” Hajime replied.

“Cut the bullshit.”

“Still have no idea what you’re talking about”

“You do. You absolutely do!”

“Could you two both stop acting like children?” Mahiru said.

“He did it first!” Juzo yelled back.

“Airtight defense.” Hajime quipped back causing Sakakura to let out a growl.

“You little shit!” With that, Juzo grabbed Hajimes matters and flung it at him. Hinata, ducked and kicked at the thrown object, only for it to go flying up in the air, completely shattering the fluorescent light tubes that hung above the room.

“Oh, now look what you’ve fucking done!” The boxer shouted.

“Well what did you think was going to happen?!” Hajime yelled back

“That’s it. You are going down to the cellar with me, so we can replace Miodas lights”

“Can we at least take Nagito?”

“Why would I do that?!”

“Me and Nagito are a package deal.”

“It’s true.” The Luckster added.

“…Fine.”

“And because we are a packaged deal, you have to pay shipping costs.”

“You can fuck off with that, you’re looking at a prime customer. Now come on, let’s go already.” Juzo replied, managing to get the best of Hajime for once. The trio walked off, leaving a very annoyed group in their wake.

“…Worst extreme home makeover ever.” Ibuki grumbled.

* * *

 

Fuyuhiko was eating his words. This task had been a breeze. Imposter was decently intelligent, Sonia had a great mind for the subject, Kazuichi was decently intuitive and Peko was amazing at everything ever. There was just one slight problem….

“Could you pass me the glue…” Kazuichi said to Sonia, prompting her to place the glue father away.

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Fuyuhiko! She’s bullying me!” Souda cried out, prompting Kuzuryu to sigh.

“Get over it.”

Kazuichi reached over for the glue, only for Sonia to grab it and move it again.

“FUYUHIKO!”

* * *

 

Like it would work. Juzo saw the rope and he saw the bucket of water, and he saw the rope. It didn’t get him this time, he walked over the trap and into the storage closest, grabbing a few light tubes before-

**_SLAM!_ **

They shut the door on him.

**_CLICK!_ **

They locked the door on him.

“Okay guys, really funny, but it’s fucking freezing down here. Can you at least let me out?”

“I don’t know, **can** we?” Nagito said back smarmily.

“Come on guys, do you know how cold it can get down here?! Open damn door!”

“Woah, okay.” Hajime reluctantly pulled out the key, and placed it in the lock. That key had been molded a few days before the opening of hopes peak two-hundred years ago, which meant, of course, that it was brittle as fuck.

**_SNAP!_ **

“Uh…Juzo…we’re gonna just…go upstairs.”

“YOU LITTLE SHITS, **WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!** ”

Hajime and Nagito practically bolted upstairs, the sound of running feet echoing through the basement, eventually reaching the hallway of the dorms.

“We’ve gotta go get Miss Yukizome.” Hajime said, turning to his friend.

“No! Hinata, we’ll get in so much trouble if she learns, one, we locked him downstairs, two, we’re out of our dorms. _She’ll be so disappointed in us_ ” the words sinisterly rolled of his tongue

 **“** Okay then, what’s the plan chief?”

“Controlled burn.”

“And how are we gonna do a controlled burn?”

“…Steal the matches and lighter fluid.”

“Which are where?”

“Miss Yukizomes desk.”

“And how are we gonna get there without Miss Yukizome seeing us?”

“…. I’ve got an idea.”

Great the last time Nagito said he “had an idea” it ended up him nearly being expelled for a bomb threat. This time, it was just breaking into a person room, so nowhere nearly as bad.

“Are you almost done.”

“I’m sorry Hajime, but picking a lock takes…. technique.” The hairclip he was using made a sad clicking sound.

“Hold on, why couldn’t you use this technique on Juzos door?”

“Because of all the key residue in there.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” A sharp scream came from their side, causing both boys turn their heads and see Tsumugi Shirogane staring right back. “Why are you trying to break into my dorm?!”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I think we have the wrong dorm…” Hajime started

“Nope, we defiantly have the right one, but since you’re here, it’s not a problem. Since you’re the ultimate cosplayer, we need a wig and two workers jumpsuits.” Nagito said, with a small sincere smile.

“…Fine.” Tsumugi walked into her room, and quickly retrieved the requested items, placing them on the floor outside the dorm, and slamming the door.

“Thank you!” Nagito shouted, the only response being a small “creeps” which Hajime was sure they weren’t supposed to hear.

* * *

 

The group had finished 2 hours before schedule, and it was time for 3 fifths of the group to take their victory walk…and the other two to suffer.

“Kuzuryu, why are you doing this?!” Sonia desperately called out, slamming her hands on the locked door.

“Yeah, Fuyuhiko let us out!” Souda screamed.

“You two have been acting out all day. It’d be for the best if you reached some sort of resolution.” Peko said from behind the other side of the door. Sensing the unflinching nature of her tone, Sonia sighed, falling down with her back against the door.

There was a long silence, until Kazuichi spoke up.

“I’m…sorry for following you around so much Miss Sonia. You’re just so…I don’t know. I’ll stop, I promise.” He murmured, looking down at his hands.

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness Kazuichi.”

“Huh?”

 “I think I may have been a bit…immature in regards to how I have treated you. I do think we can still be friends.”

“…really?”

“Yes, of course.” Sonia smiled at him, prompting him to reluctantly return it.

A click of the door broke the pairs train of thought, as Fuyuhiko peered his head in.

“See, was that so hard?”

* * *

 

“Uhh! Where are those guys?!” Mahiru yelled, throwing her head back in frustration. “We could’ve finished the project an hour ago if we were working with a full deck.”

“Of cards?” Ibuki asked.

“Yes of cards, what else could it be?!”

“Ibukis just saying, there’s a lot of decks you could be talking about.”

“Name four different type of decks.”

“Uh…house deck.” Mahiru raised an eyebrow at this “…top deck chocolate…deck the halls…Pokémon trading card game deck.”

“That’s a deck of cards.”

“You ever say a word so many times, it losses it’s meaning?” Chiaki piped up.

“Suck my deck.” Ibuki replied flatly.

“Need I remind you that we have an hour and a half to do what’s in all probability, 3 hours’ worth of work.” Gundham finally said, being the only person who was actually typing anything.

“Oh…yeah, right.” Mahiru said, making her way back to the poster paper and picking up the scissors. Mioda took a different approach. She wrapped herself around Gundham placing her head on his shoulder.

“Come on, Gun-Gun, this task is **boooooooring**. We just need to relax a bit.”

Instead of leaning into her advance however, Tanaka uncomfortably shuffled around.

“I am trying to work Mioda.”

Uh-Oh, he was busting out her real name.

“Jeez, **sor-ry** ” Ibuki spat back, peeling off him and walking over to help Mahiru. Gundham sadly sighed, and went back to typing.

* * *

 

Hajime had no idea how Nagito though this was going to work. They were dressed up in jump suits, medical masks along with wigs and rubber attachments to their hands and feet and were waddling their way over to Chisas desk. Their homeroom teacher was scribbling away notes at her table, when she turned to them.

“Oh, can I help you with something?” She asked.

Moment of truth. Nagito had promised him that he knew how to do a good foreign sounding voice.

“Hello! My name-a Harry.”

Oh god, he was just doing Borat. Nagito may have been the unquestionable smartest person in the school at some things, but by god, this was not one of them. It wasn’t even a good impression, it sounded like Borat was being ruthlessly punched in the balls every 8 seconds.

“Okay?” Chisa shoot the pair a confused smile.

“Uh, yes, we may need, a…what is it called Jay?”

And Nagito couldn’t just be content with letting his terrible train wreck go on with no body count. He’d fastened the noose and thrown it directly around Hajimes neck.

“Lighter fluid and matches.”

“Yessa, the lighter fluid and a-matches!”

“For what exactly?” Oh god she was suspicious. This was it, Hajime was half tempted to rip the wig off here and now and just confess to locking Juzo in the freezing basement.

“Controlled burning.”

“And you’ve run this through with our head of security, Juzo Sakakura?”

“…Yes.”

Well, he could’ve been further from the truth.

“Well sure, just be quick though, you wouldn’t want to disturb the students.”

“Of course not.”

Chisa rifled through her first-aid drawer and handed the pair their equipment, causing them to not-so-subtly dash away down stairs. The pair loudly sighed as the they reached the door, which was not lost upon Juzo.

“Hey? HEY! YOU TWO, YOU BETTER OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT FUCKING NOW!”

“Don’t worry Juzo, we’re on it.” Hajime said in response, as Nagito poured the fluid down on the door. “Light it up Komaeda.”

“Light what up?” The boxer said in response, as Nagito flicked the match. It was then that Hajime realized Juzo was leaning on the door. It happened fast, the smoke, the flames, Juzo running out of the room on fire.

“JESUS CHRIST! DO YOU REALLY HATE ME THAT MUCH?!” He screamed.

“No! No! No! We didn’t mean to- “

“AHH, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK- “Juzo rushed, toppling over backwards, until his foot was caught on a rope. Hajime and Nagitos previously set up trap spilled over, drenching Sakakrua in water and somehow, in a cruel twist of fate, potentially saving his life.

Both the boxer and the attorney were left panting, while Nagito was weirdly stable.

“OK, this has been fun time but Ia- “

“Nagito, he knows it’s us.”

“I’m going back to the dorm.”

Juzggho and Hajime starred at each other for a few seconds.

“I’m sorry I punched you outside the Academy”

“I’m sorry I set you on fire.”

“I didn’t know you were in the Kamakura Project at the time.”

“I didn’t know you were sitting next to the door at the time.”

Juzo softly smiled, before his face resumed to its usual expression and he walked past Hajime, who was standing their motionless. Up the stairs he went, but just before moving out of the final room, he spoke once more.

“Hinata?”

“Yeah?”

“Chisa filled me in on what’s going on with your parents.”

“Oh, t-that. **_Pfft_** , that’s nothin- “Hajimes response was phony and it showed.

“When I was younger, my parents gave me a hard time too. You’re a smart kid. You’ll get through it.”

…..

……

Well that certainly wasn’t how Hinata thought today was gonna go.

* * *

 

Hinata and Nagito made it back and they finished the project (not without a through chewing out from Koizumi, as she didn’t seem to find Nagitos excuse of setting Juzo on fire adequate).

Miss Yukizome unlocked the dorms (along with sending Munakata a worrying report on a maintenance worker named Harry) and the students pored out, but just as Gundham attempted to leave the room, he felt a tug at his arm.

“Hey, you wanna talk?” Ibuki asked, prompting Gundham to shut the door, and take a seat on her bed.

“Ibuki just wanted to say, what you said was…really sweet. It’s just, it makes Ibuki think really far ahead and then it’s far ahead and it’s like “woah, that’s pretty far ahead” You get me?” She nervously laughed, prompting Gundham to smile.

“I understand. I should not have said that.”

 **“** No, no! That’s not it, it’s…I mean, did you mean it?”

This caught him off-guard, and the darkest deva of destruction was quickly left blushing. “I…I, I don’t…I”

Ibuki giggled and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Wanna stay over?”

“I swear Songful one, I spend more time in your dorm then my own.”

“Ibuki knows.”

 


	50. Non-Stop Debates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi and Korekiyo argue the benefits of the braincels subreddit.

**_Non-Stop Debates_ **

Hopes Peak was famous for it’s debating night, where the families of the students would come to see the exciting debates from the classes. This year, the 79 would be the subjects. The primary debate being held was between the group of Kaede, Himiko and Maki against Kokichi, Korekiyo and Keebo…If you noticed, there was a reason the long-standing tradition of team names.

Another long-standing tradition that had been generally barred now was, apparently, families. Kaede clicked her clipboard, going through the family’s status, which had been written on by the students themselves. The only people’s families who were able to come were Mius, Kaitos (Grandparents), Tenkos and Kaedes own.

It was show night, and the gym had been set up apropriatly, but there was still one problem. While Maki, Kaede and (to a lesser extent) Himiko had been actually practicing for 12 sessions, Keebo had been practicing for 12 sessions and Kokichi and Kiyo had been playing with the bucket of bayblades they’d found in the games room.

The Hopes Peak gym stage was glorious, but with every action had an equal and opposite reaction, so the backstage could fit around 3 people side-by-side, which is why Maki and Shuichi were currently lying down in the raven-haired boys dorm.

“Ohhh, I’m booooored…” Maki groaned, resting her head into Saiharas shoulder.

“Well, you’ll be on stage soon.”

“Soon? It’s gonna be like 3 hours, Shuichi.”

“That’s soon, enough right?”

Maki softly giggled, before her expression turned somewhat serious and she looked over at the detective.

“So…when am I gonna meet your parents?”

Shuichi groaned, and rolled over to his side, retrieving a calendar, passing it to Maki without even making eye contact.

“These are the dates their free.”

“…Shuichi these are all six months apart….do you understand how calendars work?”

“Yeah. Like I said, that’s the dates their free.”

Maki was silent for too long, giving Shuichi another chance to comment.

“Look, their really busy people. My father’s working on a case in Santa Monica and my mother’s working on a stage play in…” The detective stopped, and made an attempt to mask the fact that he was trying to remember something, a mask which Maki very easily took off.

“Well, I guess if you can’t **even remember where they are** \- “

“Harukawa, I know this isn’t what you expected-”

“Yeah, I expected to actually see them.”

“But you’ll still get to see my house.’

“Great.”

A simmering tension between the two formed, as Maki sighed, and pushed herself off the bed.

“I’m gonna go practice.”

“Good luck.”

* * *

 

The crowd neatly rested in their seats, as the show began. The show went on with varying levels of success. It was generally consistent, but moments like Shuichi going on at length about how “seeing another man’s penis doesn’t make you gay” after Miu called him a beta and Ryoma attempting to do card magic to prove that Harry Houdini was a “scam artist piece of shit”, were gonna be bad takeaways for some of the audience.

But finally, the stage was set for the finale. There was just one small problem though.

“Kee-boy! Open up! Come on!” Kokichi shouted as he bashed his hands feebly on the bathroom door.

“What’s wrong with him.” Kaede asked, filling in the blank of everyone in the room.

“I dunno. He get’s stage fright easily, and he said something about being “underprepared””

“Yeah, maybe your underprepared because you spent the whole practice time playing with My Little Ponies” Maki snided from her spot on the outstretched seating bump 

“Uh, their called Beyblades and they’re for boys!” Kokichi responded, once again banging the door.

“Kokichi, the fucks going on back here?” Kizakura said, suddenly emerging from the stage.

“Keebos got stage fright sir! Can we drop out?” Korekiyo said.

“Let me think about that…. nope. Do it with two of you.”

Both Korekiyo and Kokichi let out loud exasperated groans.

The curtain flickered again, and Rantaro and Shuichi came back as well, the detective holding a hand against his face.

“Hey! How’d it go?” Kaede said, frowning at Shuichis expression. Even though she didn’t say anything, Maki looked slightly concerned as well.

“” Just because I saw Reo Yamamotos penis in primary school doesn’t mean I’m gay, don’t laugh, I’m not gay, I have a girlfriend.”” Rantaro quoted, causing Shuichis frown to intensify.

“Oh no Shuichi.” Kaede said, struggling to hold back a laugh, something Maki had absolutely no curtesy of doing, as she exploded into intense giggles and from there, full blown laughter. As embarrassed of Shuichi was at that moment, hearing Makis actual laugh transfixed him.

It was so much higher than her usual gloomy tone, that it caught him off guard. It didn’t sound like her at all. Shuichi then realized he’d been standing there for around 30 second, staring.

By then Maki still hadn’t finished her outburst, but had taken notice of him, mainly because he was standing in her way.

“Haha, ha. Saihara, could you move to the left please? Ha.” He immediately did as she asked and nudged over. “I’ll talk to you later, K?” She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and walked out onto the stage.

…Shuichi had to mentally repeat three times that that was indeed the person he was dating.

* * *

 

“All-In-All: Nuclear Power hurts the environment on a massive scale, and I think it’s pretty obvious which one of those should be preserved.” Kaede concluded her first point, with a decently big clap from the audience.

“Korekiyo Shingujiji, first statement.” Kizakura monotonaly read out, as Korekiyo took his teams microphone, letting out a cough.

“Water, fire, air and dirt. Fucking magnets, how do they work?” He said, not a hint of humor in his voice. “And I don’t want to talk to no scientist, ya’ll motherfuckers lying and leaving me pissed.”

Every single word of that sentence was delivered with poise and grace, usually apparent in Korekiyos tone.

“That was a quote from the famous philosopher and profit, Shaggy 2 Dope. Now, Miss Akamatsu, where did you say you got your sources from?”

“Um…National Geographic for the most part.”

“You see, a renowned **science** organization. Now how are we to trust them, when they are lying and leaving us pissed?”

A long silence filled the room, before the feedback of Korekiyo adjusting it filled the air.

“There are very few science resources we can trust which is why I would like the audience to take out their cellphones and please subscribe to the braincels subreddit- “

“Don’t take the red pill though. That’s for cucks.” Kokichi interrupted.

“Yes. You see, the braincels science is one of the most accurate and consistent on the planet and not **once** on the front page have I seen anything about nuclear power, so, in reality, can we even be sure nuclear power even exists, much less posses a threat to humanity?”

The room was silent again, aside from a few uncomfortable coughs. Maki switched on her mic and gave both boys the most disappointed look they’ve ever seen.

“So, your official statement is nuclear power doesn’t exist because it didn’t make the front page of the braincels subreddit?”

“Yes.”

“…Well, I don’t think I need to explain anything to counter that.”

“But how is nuclear power real though? Or at least a real threat?” Kokichi took the stand. “Because when I microwave my leftovers that I found in a dumpster, I’m harnessing nuclear power.”

“No you’re not.”

“When I’m playing with a laser pointer in the hopes of causing a traffic accident, I’m harnessing nuclear power.”

“Kokichi stop lying!” Himiko forcefully said, something the supreme leader paid no mind.

“When I’m smoking weed on the side of the road, completely shitfaced from drinking a whole bottle of spirits, and am contemplating not only what the ending of M Night Shyamalan’s Glass meant, but also my own fragile heterosexuality, and how the fuck I’m going to get home from this place **, am I. not. harnessing. nuclear. power?!** ”

“Okay, that’s gonna be a wrap.” Kizakura said.

“Yes, I agree, let’s move on to phase 2.” Korekiyo said.

“Nope, I mean this hole debate. The winning team is these three girls. Congratulations. Korekiyo and Kokichi, my office, 5 minutes.”

The crowd nervously clapped, as Korekiyo and Kokichi were practically dragged off stage.

“…Yay?” Himiko half-heartedly said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter felt really disjointed but I'm gonna put it up, because I think it has some funny gags.


	51. Even More Small Little Affections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toko and Makoto! Come on down!

Tokos head felt sore, it was like she’d been hit over the head with a lead pipe. She didn’t remember much of last night, but was currently attempting to use the last of her scattered brain shards to piece together what exactly happened.

Leon brought out some booze, she knew that.

She’d had a drink, as you would, when, like her, you’d never had alcohol before.

Makoto had told her to hold it, she’d called him a “fucking lightweight” and downed 3 more.

…oh, so that’s what happened.

A knock on her door rings out, but Tokos not gonna take it. She’d prefer to just lay in bed.

“Fukawa! Can I come in?”

Of course, it’s Makoto. She yells out that he can let out himself in, which he does.

“Woah, Fukawa, you look- “

“Terrible?”

“Hungover.”

 The Luckster gave her a soft smile and took a seat on her bed.

“Wanna go get some coffee?”

That sounded like a really good idea.

So that was how, Toko found herself stumbling around to a coffee shop, leaning on her boyfriend for support. She sat down in one of the booths, as Makoto very quickly retrieved his and her orders. Setting them down on the table, his drink caught the authoresses’ eye.

“Y-you really are a l-l-lightweight. That’s one of t-those drinks that are more milkshake than coffee.”

“Okay. If I’m a lightweight, than let’s have a drinking contest when we get back to the dorm.”

“T-that’s just not fair.” She murmured, taking a sip of her coffee, immediately thrusting her hand to her head, with a relived groan. “Oh, that’s so much better….t-t-thanks Makoto.”

“No worries, if you need anything through the day just ask me. I know how bad a hangover can be.”

“Wait, did Kuwata get you too?”

“Yep.”

When she thought he wasn’t looking, Toko smiled a little lovey-dovey smile, and drew a heart in the foam with her straw, only to realize Makoto had been looking out of the corner of his eye.

“Ah! J-J-J-Jerk.”

* * *

 

Reminiscing on the past of star-crossed lovers. It was a trope Toko employed countless times over her novels, and she couldn’t see why not. It was the most romantic thing possible, two people bound by nothing but fate itself. It may have been an amazing premise, but Makoto and Toko weren’t exactly like that when they first met.

**_Day 1:_ **

“Hey! I’m Makoto Naegi, the ultimate lucky- “

“I k-k-k-know w-who you a-are, I g-g-got the c-c-class list.”

“…Ok, cool.”

“…Why are y-y-y-you staring a-at me?”

“Huh?”

“Is it b-b-because y-you t-t-think I’m u-ugly?! I-is that it?!”

“No! No! It’s not that at all!”

**_Day 3:_ **

“Hey, Fukawa, could you pass my pencil…. Fukawa…Fukawa?”

**_Day 7:_ **

“Toko! Do you wanna go to the movies with me and Yasuhiro?!” Makoto yelled, banging on the writer’s door. He was surprised when it opened a creak only to be met with:

“G-go away, y-you dick w-wisel.”

* * *

 

“I did not call you a dick w-wisel!” Toko argued.

“You absolutely did!” Makoto countered. “What does that mean anyway?”

Toko was silent for around 2 whole minutes.

* * *

 

**_DEADLINE! DEADLINE! DEADLINE!_ **

That was all Toko could think about, it was driving her nuts. Even if the deadline was still 2 weeks away, she was way behind. She’d even had to mis her date with Makoto, who had opted to sit back with her and offer “emotional support”, which didn’t seem to be doing much for her emotions right now.

“Hey, are you doing okay.” He asked, tapping her on the shoulder. Little did he know, he’d opened the flood gates for her to vent.

“No, Makoto I’m not. Because my s-shithead editor, in bumfuck nowhere, is working me to the bone trying to get this book out, while he sails away to another continent in bumfuck nowhere, while fucking some hooker **whos filled with AIDS! AND THEN HIS AIDS RIDDEN FINGERS ARE GOING TO TOUCH _MY_** ”

“Woah, woah, woah…” Makoto said, placing his arms on Tokos shoulders, as she ran out of breath. “Calm down Fukawa.”

“I…I c-can’t, it’s just too stressful.”

“…Have you ever worked with machines Toko.”

“What k-kinda stupid question is that?!”

“My dad works with machines.” He continued on “and even the best ones stop working after a few weeks of grind, so dad has to switch them off, and let them get rest.”

“W-what are you saying?”

“Get some rest Toko, and then tomorrow, you’ll be all ready and exhilarated.”

Toko just stared at him for a few seconds, before grumbling incoherently, and pulling the covers off her bed.

The next day Makoto saw her clutching a finished first draft to her chest, when he passed her in the hall.

* * *

 

When Toko saw Makoto walk into class, she immediately realized something was wrong. His dumb goofy grin was non-existent, his eyes were slighted, and worst of all, he wasn’t laughing. She liked his laugh, it was one of the best things about him.

That was why she flagged him down, at the end of the day.

“Y-you seem kinda weird today.” She said, to which Naegi made some weird noise in response “A-are you a-alright?”

Seeing Tokos genuine concern was the small kick Makoto needed to actually start forming words again, sighing.

“I’m moving.”

“O-Oh…” Tokos heart started to break, piece-by-piece.

“Nowhere far! I’m still gonna go here!” Makoto reassured her with the biggest smile he could muster, putting her at ease. “But, like, I’ve lived in that house for 17 years! My parents have lived in it for even longer than that! How can they just throw it away?! Komaru doesn’t even care, so it seems to them like I’m making a big deal out of nothing but I don’t feel like I am. Am I?” He asked, with genuine questioning.

“I mean…I-I don’t think you a-are. That house must m-mean a lot to you, and it’s unfair for your parents to just sell it without taking y-your feelings into account.”

“Right?!”

Toko then listened to him for the next 20 minutes, going on and on and on about it, and even though it was pretty boring, she was more than happy too. He kept her grounded. She could do the same every once-in-awhile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took way too long to write this, but it ended up pretty good imo. Better than the last Small Little Affections chapter.


	52. Tales From The Third Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gundhams mysterious new artefact brings upon new learning experiences for Nagito, Hajime and Ibuki

“Rejoice!” Gundham shouted, barging into the room.

“Gonna need a bit more information there.” Fuyuhiko said, thinking he’d missed out on a vital bit of context.

“I have retrieved the mystical THIRD EYE OF ANNAGADDON!” This reveal was left with an overwhelming silence, as Tanaka pulled out the small green gem, covered in a gold scarab. “…It is a jewel that lets you reach the furthest point in your mind.”

The silence changed to ohhing and aahhhing.

“I wanna go!” Akane shouted!

“No! No! Me first!” Nekomaru replied, both of them almost coming to blows over the opportunity.

“Now, now…we will simply randomize the three people who get to use it.”

“Ah man! Only Three?” Akane grumbled.

“Yes Owari, **only three**. It’s not **made** of energy.”

The names were quickly decided: Ibuki Mioda (who got in due to “girlfriends’ preference), Hajime Hinata and Nagito Komaeda.

“Gundham, are you sure this is safe?” Hajime said concerned, as he lay down on the table-bed contraption the class had set up.

“Yes, yes, of course.” That didn’t sound convincing, but before he could even react, Gundham incoherently chanted something, causing a green light to overtake the trio, as their worlds turned to bright light.

* * *

 

“Wooooooooooooooooah. Where’s Ibuki gone to?!” The musician loudly said, standing up to see…blackness? The sky was completely devoid of color, sans a few white lines piercing through the sky, like waves. The punk rocker took a step only, for a barrage of guitar waves to spread out of the spot here her foot was in.

 _Awesome!_ Ibuki thought as she looked around, slowly adjusting to the sounds and sights before her eyes landed on the one other living thing here. A small girl, with long black hair, wearing a bland, pink dress. She looked oddly familiar.

* * *

 

 

**_Breath, that’s what you have to do in these situations. Just…breeeath…_ **

Nagito awoke with a shock and a gasp, quickly realizing he was…face down in a bush?

He stood up from the confinement to see that Gundhams stone mustn’t have worked on him, as he was standing directly outside Hopes Peak. He saw Nekomaru and Kazuichi walking down the pathway to the entrance, almost sighing with relief that Gudhams magic was less than quality.

Picking up his previously discarded backpack, he made his way into class.

**_Danganronpa 0.5, Nagito Komaeda and The Illusion of Worlds._ **

* * *

 

Hajime awoke quickly, sighing to himself as he realized what he’d gotten into. Now, the inner reaches of his mind…great, there was nothing here. It was like he was sitting in space, cosmically charged particles shifting under his feet, which was kinda cool…for 5 minutes.

What was worse was that he knew this wasn’t an accurate representation of his mind. Add in more Dragon Ball, Video Games and that one gum commercial and it would make sense, but his mind wasn’t usually this empty…was it.

“Dadada-dadada” he murmured to himself, before becoming slightly aggravated at the fact that this situation had once again got the gum jingle stuck in his head.

“…Okay brain, great. I’ve got the jingle in my head. Are you happy now?”

There was no response, probably because Hajime was literally inside his own brain.

“Can I wake up please? Is that too much to ask from my own damn head…”

Without warning, the small, sandy particles that made up his platform started to shift, converging upwards making a makeshift staircase out of itself. Hajime walked up with slow steps, before seeing what appeared to be a figure. A lanky, grim man with long hair.  

“W-who the hell are you?”

“I’m…Izuru Kamakura”

* * *

 

Child Management 101, always approach them carefully, gently and don’t trigger their intensive sense of smell…wait, that might’ve been a wildlife documentary.

“I see you.” The little girl interrupted, derailing Miodas train of thought, and causing Ibuki to fall over onto her face. The musician groaned as the pain hit her, after the brief moment of numbness.

“Lady, do you know where we are.” The little girl asked, as Ibuki picked herself up from the floor.

“N-nope, not really.” Ibuki somewhat lied, crossing her legs in a seated position on the ground and returning to her usual jovial attitude. “So…what’s your name?”

“…I don’t want to say.” The little girl responded, eyes deadly starring at the ground in front of her.

“Okayyy…” Ibuki mused, racking her brain to try and figure out something else to say. “I like your dress.”

“I don’t.” The little girl practically spat back. “It’s boring. My mu-my mother made me wear it.”

Yikes. That one hit a little close to home.

“You wanna…go walk. It’s not like anyt?” Ibuki said, sounding a bit too much like a child predator, but to her surprise, the little girl launched herself off where she was sitting and looking up at the musician.

“Do you know where to go?”

“I’m sure Ibuki could find a way, ya know?” Mioda motioned, with a wink.

Suddenly, the little girl’s demeanor changed drastically, thrusting her hand up with a salute and a smile. “Lead the way chief!”

* * *

 

Nagito surveyed the classroom, only to find no sign of the eye anywhere. Pity, Hajime hadn’t shown up, as he must’ve been recovering from his vision. The luckster took a seat next to Nanami, who, surprisingly, didn’t even say hello.

“Uh, hey, Chiaki.” The lump in this throat had already started to form. For less intelligent people, this wouldn’t even faze them, but Nagito had put the pieces together far faster than expected.

“Hey, hey Komaeda.” She said, bored. He didn’t notice the same bright aura she inexplicably (in his mind) had when she was near him.

“Has Hajime woken up yet?” Nagito said, dreading the answer he knew was inevitable.

“You know Hajime?” She replied, taken aback. Nagitos hopes were crushed, as a looming sensation of dread filled him.

“U-Uh…no, yes Hajime from  the anime Nanbaka.”

Chiaki shot him a confused look, as Nagito realized it was his best interest to bolt out of the door and run home (which he wasn’t even sure was in the same place) only to be interrupted by Chisa barging into the room, in her usual bombastic manner!

“Eyes up front everyone- “

 “Uh, Miss Yukizome, I-I’m feeling r-rather ill!” Nagito stammered, as he dashed towards the front of the room.

“Huh?”

“It’d be f-for the best if I went home!”

“Wait, Nagito!” Chisa shouted, as the boy rushed away from the classroom, as fast as he could, eventually winding up just outside the entrance. Quickly catching the train back to his house, Nagito bolted inside, taking out a few pens and laying them out across his table, along with a miniature whiteboard. 

_So…If this is the furthest reaches of my mind, there must be a way out somehow…a catalyst of some sort...now what could that be…_

* * *

 

“Pick a card, any card…” Hajime sighed, levitating his deck around himself.

“Hmm…that is interesting”

“Eh!” Hajime said with a wink.

“Not your pathetic attempts at magic. No, the fact that you have a vast amount of control here.”

“Well it is **my** brain. That brings up the question to why you’re even here?”

“You participated in early treatment for the Kamakura project, correct?”

“That’s right.”

“Well, it’s simple. I’m the residual effects of that early treatment, locked away in your brain, waiting for the chance to- “

“This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone. BABUM **BABUM!** ” Hajime shouted back.

“…You are insufferable.”

“I can do the Adams family too.”

“Hilarious.” Izurus face demonstrated that this was definitely not hilarious. “Tell me Hajime…are you truly content with yourself.”

“Elaborate, Izuru…it doesn’t sound as cool when I do it.”

“Well, let’s see, no real talent to speak off- “

“I- “

“You got into the 77th because Miss Yukizome took a liking to you, as well as the controversy with the Kamakura project. It was pity at best.”

“I’ve still got my friends- “

“Half your friends are insane. Sure, as of right now, your happy with that Koizumi girl, but how long do high school relationships last?”

Hajime was silent.

“4-6 months at most.”

It was then that the brunette observed the purple aura that surrounded the mindscape fading away.

“So, Hajime Hinata, why bother waking up at all. No talent, no consistent social life, appalling home life, **no future prospects to speak off** ”

It was then that Hinatas mind went completely dark.

* * *

 

“How much longer chief?” The little girl whined, pulling on Ibukis sleave.

“Probably another five minutes.” Mioda replied, being the only one of the two that had realised that they’d past the same destination around 3 times now. It was then that her eyes locked onto something up ahead…a swingset?

“Woah, look, a swing!” Ibuki exclaimed, excitedly. “Ibuki used to play on these all the time when she was a kid!”

The pair rushed over to the play equipment, taking a seat on the leather of the set.

Ibuki screamed in happiness as she pushed herself, and occasionally helping the little girl swing as well. The swings got lighter and lighter though, as the little girl started to sadly look at the ground.

“Huh? What’s got you so glum?” Ibuki said, slowing down her own swings, in order to make eye contact.

“…How long do you think we’re gonna be here, chief?”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t want to go back to my parents.” The little girl spat, looking at the ground. “They always make me dress like this, they never let me play my music, they- “

“Woah, are you Ibuki?” Mioda said jokingly, only for the question to grow louder in her head. The dress, the name, the music… “You are me…aren’t you?” The musician said, tone becoming much grimmer.

The little girl didn’t respond, instead, beginning to fade away instead, as Ibuki sombrely smiled to herself. Suddenly, the world began to untangle, and a flash of light engulfed everything.

The next thing Ibuki knew, she was back in the classroom.

* * *

 

One Week. One week was the time Nagito had sat in his fake home, with his fake notepad, and his fake TV, trying to figure out a way to escape from this place, but it was useless (he was sure time had passed differently in the real world)

After a few hours of theories that went nowhere and messy handwriting, Nagito decided that heading into school was the best thing he could do right now.

After a brief train ride up, Nagito made it to the entrance of the school, walking through the tree filled pathway that led to the building, he saw Hajime, dressed in his reserve course attire. There was something about this, something familiar…

* * *

 

_Hajime gloomily strode out of the Kamakura research centre, pills in his hands. He thought it would be good to get some fresh air before the “point of no return” as the doctors had called it._

_**BUMP!** _

_Hajime felt a shoulder collide into him, as books scattered around his feet. He looked down to see a white-haired boy frantically piling his things up into a stack._

_“AH! I’m awfully sorry for the inconvenience...” His words hung in the air drearily, waiting for Hinata to finish his sentence._

_“Hajime. Hajime Hinata.”_

_“Are you…part of the reserve course?” Nagito asked, still picking up his things._

_“No, I just hang around near the buildings with my suit on.”_

_The luckster stared at him wide-eyed, before finally getting the joke and laughing softly._

_“So, where are you off to anyway? Main course students don’t really hang around here.”_

_“I’m off to the city to do laundry, buy food…Things like that.”_

_Hajime looked over his shoulder and saw the Kamakura building hanging ominously in the background. Screw them, they’d waited 3 years to put this project into action, they could wait a few more hours._

_“Mind if I tag along? I’ve got window shopping to do.”_

_Nagito almost immediately broke out into smiles. “U-Uh, of course! I’d be happy to accompany you, Hinata.”_

_Hopes Peak received an email from Hajime Hinata 3 hours after the procedure was supposed to start, detailing how they could “Suck his dick, as the real Kamakura was doing 180s in his grave. P.S, I left my water bottle in the test room.”_

_It made for a real awkward trip to school._

* * *

Except here, Nagito saw Hinata walk past him with no collision, he saw him mope away and he saw him take the pills. The gears in his head started to turn, as Komeada made a startling realization:

Trash like him had made a difference.

Time was not given to extrapolate on the thought, as the bright light sucked up everything that made up this world. Nagito, in a cold sweat, shot up in what appeared to be a…girls’ bed.

“Oh, you’re up.” Chiaki said with a small smile, not expecting Nagito to silently stand up, lankily making his way over to her without speaking a word. “Hey, wha- “

Before she even realized, Nagito was kissing her, something she didn’t object to until they both pulled away for air.

“W-what’s gotten into you?” Chiaki said with a blush.

“You have no idea.”

* * *

 

Blackness. That’s all either of them could see.

“What’s the point of waking up Hajime? You’re better off surrendering to the mediocrity and monotony that will plague you for the rest of you- “

“The Adams family…dadadada- “

Izuru was legitimately taken off guard by the sudden intrusion of sound.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s dumb.” Hajime replied simply, breaking away from his song, as the purplish hue started to return to the space. “Talent isn’t as much of a solidified concept as you say it is. People are good at different things, and just because I’m not the best at anything, doesn’t mean I’m untalented, because if talent is how you say it is…then I’m amazing at singing the Adams Family opening.”

Izurus mouth strained as a sound it was never mean to make echoed out. Small, sultry, laughter.

“You’re…not boring.” Izuru said simply.

“Gee, thanks.” Hinata replied sarcastically.

The white light erupted from the sky. Hajime looked over at his counterpart, smirk plastered on his features

“Here’s a little parting gift. Every episode of the Twilight Zone…from memory.” A small DVD player popped out in front of Kamakura. “…I only watched two episodes so it may be a bit scattered…wait how does this even work? Is this like a shut dow- “Before he could say anything more, Hajime was sucked up into the realm of waking as Izuru stared down the scream.

“You are about to enter another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Twilight Zone.” He mimed along with the TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took way too long to write. I don't think this is exactly how I pictured it, but I do like doing a serious chapter every once in awhile. Next chapters going to be half comedy, half shippy stuff (probably 79?)


	53. Makoto, Yasuhiro and Byakuya Go Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasquatch is back...with a vengeance!

The smell of pine and fresh country air breezed through the Class 78, as their bus made it’s way through the countryside. The camp had been a source of excitement for a while, considering the 77th had got theirs earlier than both of the younger classes.

Everyone, even Kirgiri and Byakuya, harbored some excitement for exploring the great outdoors (except Hifumi, who was not attending the camp, due to the fact that he couldn’t sleep without the sound of Anime to lull him) Miss Yukizome had even offered to tag along, due to Takumis… ** _sketchy_** track record at avoiding child endangerment.

The bus eventually pulled up on a grassy field, with an old, aged building in the middle.

“My god, that building looks decrepit.”  Byakuya said, slightly taken aback by the school house itself.

“Already starting off negative.” Kyoko joked, walking past him.

“Well, considering past experiences with this school, and Takumis… “unique” class management, I think the negativity is earned.”

Kyoko didn’t do anything in particular, only for her air of normalcy to be squashed as she saw Byakuya staring at her oddly.

“What?” She said back, tone slightly aggressive.

“…Oh! Uh, nothing. It’s just…I’ve never seen you, uh, smiling like that before.” Kyoko didn’t even realize she had been, until it was pointed out and that started to worry her. She’d woken up smiling the other day, which her father was quick to point out when he made breakfast.

With a blush, Kirigiri whisked herself away from the conversation all together, leaving Byakuya mentally slapping himself…until he saw Yasuhiro and Makoto fiddling around with what appeared to be a…rifle?!

“What are you doing?!” Byakuya yelled, marching over to the pair.

“Unpacking.” Yasuhiro replied bluntly.

“No! What’s the rifle doing?!”

“…being a rifle?”

“Makoto?”

“I don’t know. ‘Hiro brung it.”

“Yeah, I brought it to go on a little hunt…”

“Of What?” Byakuya scoffed. “The fucking turtles by the river?”

“I think you know what I’m hunting...”

Makoto and Byakuya both took time to let the implication set in, before Togami realized what was going on.

“Oh my god, Yasuhiro, you can’t be serious.”

“Come on dude. Sasquatch evaded us last time, but we’re gonna get him now!”

“I don’t see how he evaded us, when **he wasn’t even there** …wait, how do you know he’s here now?”

“I once stole a cookie out of my sixth-grade classrooms food drive!” Yasuhiro blurted out randomly, leaving both boys stunned in silence.

“…Excuse me?” Makoto asked, setting up the trio’s tent.

“Look...” Yasuhiro took a deep breath and exhaled. “I’m going cold turkey over the weekend, so I’m a bit… **on edge** when it comes to questions.”

“And we need to hear about every childhood experience you’ve ever had why?”

“I didn’t mean to break the vase. The dog had to take the blame!”

“This is insane.” Togami said, bafflement in his eyes.

 “Anyway, Byakuya, I actually **heard** his sasquatch roar earlier.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Boys!” Takumis voice pierced through their argument. “Impressive hardware you’ve got there.”

“Uh, no, Mr. Hijirihara! We’re just- “ Yasuhiro thrusted the gun (ineffectively) behind his back, only to feel the sharp hilt of a knifes blunt edge at his throat.

“Listen you little fucks, the Iranian gold that’s been buried here is my property by the wardens last will and testimony. I don’t take kindly to snot-nosed punks like- “

“Sir! Sir! Sir! We don’t know anything about, uh, **any sort** of gold.” Makoto yelled, causing the Killer Killers face to twist into confusion before he released Yasuhiro from the deadly position.

“Oh…then, let’s just act like **this** never happened, okay?” With that, Takumi scuttled away, leaving the confused boys in his wake.

“…We have to get that gold.” Byakuya said, simply.

“We have to get that sasquatch!”

“We have to get this damn tent in place, so would you guys please help me?!”

Both Hagakure and Togami exploded into muffled “okays” and “sorrys”, as they dropped to the ground.

* * *

 

“We need a quarters system.” Celeste bluntly stated, looking over the mess that took up her and the other girl’s tent.

“Really?” Kyoko said back sarcastically, visually comparing The Gamblers straight, neat bedroll to the rapidly descending states of Tokos, Sayakas and her own.

“Do not mock me Kirigiri, if I had it my way I would be sleeping in my own, private **cabin**.”

“Well unfortunately for you, you’re going to have to deal with the peasants, at least for the weekend.”

Celestes eyes quickly turned to fury, before resting as they normally did. The tense silence was quickly cut off as Sayaka and Toko emerged, tools in their hands.

“We’re back!”

“Yes Maizono, I know, I am not blind, I can see you.” Celeste said, accent starting to hang towards the end of her sentence.

“Rude.” The idol snickered, as she began to hammer down the tent more effectively than it had been.

“H-here…” Toko passed Maizono a few nails, which was met with a small “thank you”

“TAG, YOU’RE IT!” Yasuhiros voice came booming out as him and Makoto ran through the grassy clearing of the camp site, prompting Kyoko to confusedly try to figure out what they were doing

“Please stop this nonsense! This is a game for children!” Bykauya called out as the pair, attempted to slap each other on the arm.

“Come on Byakuya, it’s **fun** ” Yasuhiro whined.

“Yes, and so is eating Lego, **when you’re five**.”

“Stop being such a downer! Remember when we saw the movie Tag? That was a great time for everyone. That ending man…”

“Need I remind you that we didn’t actually **see** the ending, we were ejected 45 minutes into the film after you went up to the guy in the seat in front of you and said “let’s play” before slapping him in the face”

“Oh yeah…”

The clairvoyant turned back to see Makoto had already lost interest, as he and Toko were chatting, the writer almost clinging onto him.

“What are you doing over here?” Celestes voice rung out as she yelled at the two.

“ **I killed JFK** ” Yasuhiro yelled back, due to the fact that answering questions seemed to be above his capabilities at this time.

“Celeste, this isn’t gangland. We’re allowed to walk on your turf, just as your allowed to walk on our turf.”

The gambler grumbled something in response, walking back over to Sayaka to “help” with the tent. Byakuya had a second goal though, walking over to Makoto. There was a massive _problem_.

* * *

 

“What’s up?” The luckster asked, deep in the forest that surrounded the camp.

“It’s Yasuhiro!”

“What’s Yasuhiro?”

“He’s lost his mind! Even more so then usual…”

“What do you mean?”

“He just said he shot JFK! When it was grounded in reality it was a slight problem, but now he’s willing to take it to heights higher than any of us could even think of.”

“…Yeah, that might be a problem.”

Byakuya suddenly grabbed Makoto by the shoulders and pulled him in close.

“Listen, **we must not get caught** while trying to find the gold- “

“Sasquatch”

“Whatever! The second the teacher asks us what we’re doing, we’re done for, completely done for…and you’ll have no plausible deniability.”

That thought made Naegis eyes twitch.

* * *

 

“So, you have a dick.” Leon stated in bewilderment.

“Yes.”

“Like a dick-dick.”

“Yes.”

“Like a- “

“Do you want me to drop my pants and show you my dick?” Chihiro said, visibly frustrated.

“Okay, okay, chill…futanaris not really my thing though so- “

Chihiro and Mondo let out an exasperated groan, as they were forced to go through the entire explanation again.

* * *

 

“Dude, I reckon if I…. aim the shot right…I could pierce Sasquatchs fifteen point seven-inch hide…” Yasuhiro aimed the gun around, one eye through the scope.

“Yes, and I “reckon” I can ingest 5 whole liters of milk in 10 minutes.”

“Can you?”

“ ** _No!_** ”

“Dude, why are you being such a skeptic? We’re just going up to the treetops to shoot Sasquatch.”

“…Read that sentence back.”

“I’m back!” Makoto shouted, emerging from the forest, decked out in what appeared to be mud and acrylic paint.

“What on god’s green earth happened to you?”

“Isn’t it obvious?! Camouflage.” The Brunette said proudly.

“Naegs! That’s genius!”

“Is it really though?”

“ **Yes!** ” Both boys said in unison.

“So, when they look at you up in the tree…they will see a patch of mud?”

The words took a while to sink in, before Naegi picked up a bunch of sticks from the ground, slapping them on his face.

“There! Are you happy now?”

“No.”

“Whatever guys, let’s get set up already!” With that, the trio climbed the tree that Byakuya and Yasuhiro had picked, sun setting around them as their fingers brushed the hardness of the wood. It was an uphill task, taking them all several minutes before they could reach a decent perch. It was ridiculous but when it was all said and done, Byakuya couldn’t help but feel a certain air of comradery. As the sun started to fade over the forest tops, The Heir spoke softer than he normally would.

“So, how long until the sasquatch gets here?”

“Well, by going off the info I got from Joe Rogan, it should be…4 Hours”

That air of comradery was soon shattered.

* * *

 

**_Bounce, Bounce, Bounce_ **

Initially Sakura had been happy that her group received the only cabin (due to the fact that she was too big for the tent) but having to sleep under Junko turned out to be an unpleasant experience.

Junko was a chronic bouncer, and the beds in the cabin were supported by half chewed bubble gum and rusty wires, so every bounce was met with an ear-splitting **creak**.

“IT’S ALL, RAIDO-GOGO…RADIO-GAGA!” And then she started singing. Without second thought, Sakura launched a lighting kick that launched Junko from her mattress down onto the floor.

Almost everyone (sans Junko herself) breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

 

Silence radiated through the camp, the only sound that stirred through the night air were the chirpings of crickets…and Kirgiris weird snoring. Seriously, Sayaka couldn’t focus with that going on in the background.

It was more like she was counting sheep while under water, it was **insistent**.

“Sayaka…are you still a-awake.” Tokos voice pierced through the darkness, jolting Maizono up, the idol turning to her side to face the girl.

“Yeah? You having trouble sleeping as well?”

“I-I always do.” The writer said blankly. “…I hate not being able to get to sleep”

“I know right! It’s so hard just to take your mind off things sometimes.”

“ **She’s** c-certainly not helping.”

“I’m dating Leon. Ya’ get used to it. I take it Makoto doesn’t snore?”

“No. H-He talks in h-his sleep sometimes though.” She giggled, which caused Sayaka to snort. The pair where about to continue their conversation before a loud, bellowing roar came bursting into their ears.

**_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_ **

* * *

 

Yasuhiro shot up from his slumber at the noise, quickly awaking Byakuya and Makoto as well.

“He’s here! He’s actually here!” Yasuhiro shouted at them, preparing the rifle.

“Now, Hagakure, be careful, we wouldn’t want to make the shots obvious. Take your time and- “

“You talking to me **bitch**?!” The clairvoyant screamed at the sasquatch, as his finger brushed the trigger

**_BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!_ **

Gunshots rung out across the camp, as Makoto screamed in fear. Byakuya winced as he noticed the students, and most worryingly, a sleep-deprived Takumi and Chisa marching out of their rooms.

“STOP! **_STOP!_** ” Chisa yelled, causing Yasuhiros trigger happy rampage to come to a startling halt. Yasuhiro drearily started at the forming group, Byakuya turned away, and Makoto brought a small bundle of sticks up to his face.

“Miss Yukizome! We were just looking for sasquatch!”

Chisa saw red as she screamed upwards. “Sasquatch?! **Do you know how much trouble you are in?!** ”

Byakuya winced, as soon as the question hit. Not because of its details but because of its literal nature as a question. Yasuhiro put in a deep breath, looking over a silently pleading Makoto and Byakuya. It wasn’t enough as the next sentence came fast and loud.

“I AM CONFESSING RIGHT NOW, THAT I AM A **PEDOPHILE!** A KNOWN AND WANTED PEDOPHILE IN THE STATE OF VIRGINIA!”

Takumi wasted no time in cutting the tree down, with a single swing of his knife, sending all three, tumbling to the ground.

“That was a lie!” The clairvoyant protested.

“Same as your stupid story.”

But sasquatch…I heard him!” Yasuhiro pleaded, only to fall on deaf ears, as Takumi laughed.

“Please, that was me snoring…besides, everyone knows Sasuqatch only resides in the Himalayas, haven’t you listened to the latest episode of Joe Rogan?” 

Yasuhiro slapped himself for not updating his podcast files.

“Is that…a loaded firearm?” Kirgiri spoke up, drearily rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, no, that’s an BB rifle.”

The silence seemed normal until Byakuyas icy cold tone shook through the entire campus.

“… **What**?”

“Jeez Byakuya, did you really think I’d bring in an actual rifle?”

“So…you were going to use this to pierce Sasquatch’s fourteen-inch hide?”

“Fifteen Point Seven Inch”

“…Watch this.” 

Byakuya snatched the BB Gun from the clairvoyant’s arms, pointed it at his own arm and pulled the trigger.

**_BAM!_ **

A bullet soared through the flesh, leaving a wound exactly where he’d fired, along with a small golden bullet on the floor. Makotos face twisted up, as Byakuya crashed to the ground.

“Woah, there’s actual bullets in that thing?”

“ **YES, THERE’S ACTUAL BULLETS IN THIS THING!** ”

Chisa quickly took him away to first-aid, as Makoto and Yasuhiro stood there in uncomfortable silence, letting the eyes of their piers wash over them (The embarrassment not causing Naegi to take the branch down from his face)

“Why is it always you three?” Takumi finally said.

“It’s not always us! Remember that time Mondo rode his motorcycle into the class?”

“I actually bet him $50 on that.” Yasuhiro guiltily corrected.

“Still waiting on that asshole.”

The silence took over again, until suddenly, before any of them could react, Takumi leapt to the ground that Byakuya had just unintentionally shot, uncovering a small golden chain, along with various assorted items.

“See! I knew it was here.” And with that, he held up the warden’s Iranian gold.

* * *

 

The bus ride home was generally uneventful, except for Byakuya occasionally growling in pain when someone brushed his arm and the constant flipping of Takumis gold.

“Damn, good thing I didn’t stop you earlier boys. I spent the whole day trying to find this and you led it to me for free!”

“Wait…you knew they had a gun?” Chisa said, raising an eyebrow. Takumi tried to protest, stuttering, but all three boys jumped on the discrepancy like a shark with blood.

“Yeah, he did! He knew all about it!” Makoto yelled.

“He totally did!”

“Absolutely, he did.”

“ **Takumi Hijirihara**. You have violated your duty of care- “Chisa launched into a speech, that made Takumi realize the uselessness of the rest of his days plans, as the three gazed out the window.

They were just glad to be out of there. The camp was boring, cursed or some combination of the two. But one lesson was taken away…never trust Joe Rogan.

**_HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_ **

Suddenly, out of the bushes, a hulking brown-haired creature appeared from the bushes. Makoto, Yasuhiro and Byakuya looked at it in stunned shock as it gazed back at them, evil yellow eyes glinting in the sunlight. The trio could only managed whimpers and illiterate sounds as Sasquatch stared back, before it cracked a big smile and flipped all of them the double bird. Before they could say anything the bus speed away, leaving the camp in the dust and the boys in shock.


	54. Crazy Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kokichi works up some nerve.

**_Amber Stained Calendar_ **

Kokichi Ouma was going to do it. He was gonna confess his (big word) **feelings** to someone he “ **like** ”. This same thought had run through his head for the last three weeks, and, to his credit, he had tried talking to Himiko, he really had, but the furthest he’d got was complimenting her hair.

Now, he and Keebo were sitting in his dorm, whiteboard fastened, as the supreme leader frantically drew out ideas.

“What aboutttttttttt…a subliminal message! Like, I run the words “I love you” through a Caesar cypher- “

“She’s not gonna get it.” Keebo simply stated, causing Kokichi to throw his head back in frustration.

“Well, Mr. Romance, what will she get?”

“…You just telling her.”

“I’ve already established that **wasn’t an option**!”

Kokichi shock his head, his eyes glancing over the calendar. It was marked three weeks after he’d meant to ask her out.

* * *

 

“So…let’s get this straight…the only people here are…Keebo, Ouma, Saihara, Akamatsu, Iruma, Yumeno and Harukawa” Juzo said, as he looked down at his P.E sheet suspiciously. “And you guys…have no idea where the others are.”

“Nope.” Kaede spoke on behalf of the group, causing Juzo to let out a sigh.

“Well in that case, you guys should be able to plan your own curriculum, I’m off for a smoke.” Juzo exited the facility, leaving the students silent in a poorly lit, way-too-shiny gym.

The sound of wood being pressed and shoes squeaking off the floor, as Ouma thrusted himself up to Shuichis level.

“Face me Saihara!”

“In what?”

Kokichis arrogant smirk turned into a small twist of confusion before it defaulted back.

“Tetherball!”

“Tetherball?”

“Tetherball!”

Shuichi blankly stared at him, before letting out a snort of laughter.

“Ouma, the only thing you could beat me in is “Who can touch their toes the fastest””

Shuichi turned around and began to walk towards a laughing Maki, but Kokichi refused to give up.

“Oh yeah, go play games with the girls, **cuck** ”

“Brilliant.” Shuichi said back, bored.

“ _Brilliant.”_ Kokichi said back, voice high and squeaky, tone clearly mocking Saihara.

“Fantastic. Like that’s going to- “

“ _Fantastic. Like that’s going to- “_

“Wait, stop, I-

“ _Wait, stop, I-_ “

“Kokichi, you- “

“ _Kokichi, you handsome devil_. See, I finished what you were going to say.”

“…Fine, let’s play.” The detective yelled, stomping over to where Keebo and Kokichi were setting up their tether. “Come o- “

“Saihara! You gotta help me!” Ouma harshly whispered, seemingly backtracking from his previous statement.

“No, I’m not helping you replace that Reserve Course teacher’s coffee with dish soap **again**. That cost the school hundreds in medical- “

“No! No! It’s not that! There’s a girl, that I…………...”

“…. Are you going to finish?”

Ouma made a few motions with his hands squishing together until Keebo filled in the blanks.

“He wants a relationship with a girl, but he doesn’t know how to do it.”

Shuichi let out a small laugh, before he saw Kokichi looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Yeah…why do you think this was a field I should help you in?”

“I dunno…you and Harukawa are together, and she’s way out of your league…wait, I helped you two get together.”

“Yeah, by harassing her into hiding in her room.”

“You’re indebted to help me!”

“…fine. Which girl is it?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Which girl do you like.”

Keebo almost blurted it out before he saw Ouma glaring at him.

“Okay, let’s play 20 questions.” Shuichi said, obviously growing tiered already. “Are they part of that group over there?”

“Maybe.”

“Kaede?”

“Nope.”

“Miu?”

“Ha!”

“…Maki?”

Kokichis face started to twist suspiciously, as Shuichis anger grew, only for a smile to break out on The Supreme Leaders features.

“Hahaha! You should’ve seen yourself.”

“So, it’s Himiko.”

He suddenly went quiet. No longer being able to restrain himself, Keebo flicked his wrist, which caused his eyes to light up and a sound to play.

**_DingDingDingDing!_ **

“…Well then, it’s time for a change of curriculum.”

* * *

 

“I’d like to welcome you all to the first ever, high stakes, no takebacksies, Hopes Poker game.” Korekiyo said, as he leaned back on his leather chair. The rest of the class had been gathered in the games room (which had been sealed up and dimly lit by Kiyo and Kirumi) “Tojo, drink please.” Shinguiji said, as the maid passed him a glass.

“…This is just ice.”

“You wanted an old fashioned.”

“Yes, I did, brilliant observation.”

“I gave you an under 18 old fashioned.”

“Well, make a virgin one then.”

“You want a drink consisting of just sugar and bitters?”

“…Yes.”

Kirumi sighed, making her way over to the makeshift bar as the contestants sat down.

Rantaro, Tsumugi, Tenko, Angie and Kaito (with Gonta and Ryoma as his “supervisors”) all made their way onto the table.

“I’m so ready for this. I’ve been playing Poker Night at The Inventory **religiously** in preparation.” Tsumugi gushed.

“We’re not playing poker.”

“…What?”

“I only have…” He reached into his luxury groin satchel (fanny pack) and retrieved a small deck of coloured cards. “…Uno.”

“Is that all?” Angie pouted in confusion.

“This room also has Grape Escape if you want to play that.” 

“I think we’re good” Rantaro quickly interjected, thoughts of his sisters crushing his hand in the little rolly trap flooding his mind.

“Great, then let us begin Hopes Poker.”

“Now with 100% less actual poker” Tsumugi added.

* * *

 

“Guys, gather round, gather round.” Shuichi yelled through the gym.

“The fuck do you want Saihara?” Miu asked, adjusting her googles.

“I have a sheet from Juzo that says that this session was…” The sheet of paper he was holding had been scribbled on with pictures of a giant Kokichi smashing buildings.  …Supposed to be in different gendered pairs.”

“…Really?” Maki asked.

“Yep.”

“100% Sure?”

“Totally.”

“But there’s four girls and three boys?”

“Well, uh…Kaede can go with you and me, Himiko can go with Kee- “

“Ha- **hm** ” Kokichi coughed, causing the detective to change his tone.

“ **Miu** can go with Keebo, and Himiko you go with Kokichi.”

Everyone seemed happy enough with that, Shuichi reasoned.

* * *

 

“Watch this guys…it’s called the dead masters hand.” Kaito said to Ryoma and Gonta with a wink, looking over at the pair (the two having wildly different responses, with Gonta smiling and Ryoma sighing.)

“Momota, two of your cards are facing us.”  Korekiyo bluntly said.

Kaito flipped the deck around to rectify the mistake.

“Momota, three of your cards are facing us.”

The astronaut was left dumbstruck, as Ryoma offered to take his seat at the table.

“Kirumi, drink please.” Kirumi, not missing a beat, shuffled the glass across the table, right into Kiyos hand, who quickly took a sip.

“This is just ice.”

“They didn’t have any bitters…or sugar, weirdly enough.”

“Please make me a replacement drink.”

“Of what?”

“…. water.”

“Just water?”

“With lemon of course.”

“Obviously.” Kirumi said back, already tiring of Korekiyos requests.

“Chilled.”

“Uh-ha”

“But lightly chilled, not too chilled.”

“Yep.”

“And- “

* * *

 

“Tetherball?”

“Tetherball.” Maki replied, setting up the pole.

“I’ll ref!” Kaede exclaimed, pulling a whistle out of her pocket.

“Do you just keep that on yo- “

**_PFFFFFFFFT!_ **

Saihara jumped at the sound of the whistle and then again as he saw Maki had ruthlessly smashed the ball at him. Instead of continuing a back and forth, Shuichi simply ducked out of the way, letting the ball circle around the pole.

“M-Maki! You could’ve- “

**_PFFFFFFFT!_ **

Shuichi was once again taken off-guard by the piercing noise, before turning around to see the ball flying at him once again.

* * *

 

“ _Tsumugi has 7 cards left in her deck. Can she overcome the insurmountable odds that present themselves to her now that Kiyo has only 4?”_ The cosplayer narrated to herself.

“No, _Tsumugi_ is picking up cards like they were prostitutes and she was a 56-year-old wall street loan shark.” Korekiyo said, causing Tsumugi to "hmph".

Ryoma and Rantaro had called it quit long ago. Tenko was on the receiving end of a pick up four, leaving only Angie and Kiyo as viable contenders.

“Ryoma!” The artists voice cheerily rang out through the room.

“Yeah?”

“You seemed pretty good at managing your deck. Could you come and give me tips.”

“U-uh, sure.” Ryoma said, slight blush adoring his features.

“ **Womp-Wamp!** That’s a violation of the rules and a conflict of interest.”

“But I was helping Kaito just fine?!” Ryoma protested

“Yes, but Kaito was not close to beating me, which Angie,to be fair, is also now not. You don’t have any red left presumably, bing bang boom, you out.” Kiyo said, words not quite matching his voice.

“Atua will frown upon this Korekiyo.”

“Atua will frown upon your terrible uno skills. Speaking of which, **uno!** You all lose, I win. Kirumi, drinks!” Korekiyo extended his hand to take the glass off of the maid. “…This is **just** ice.”

“It chilled too long.”

“…You are a book of lies. Fetch me another, non-frozen one, chilled correctly please. As for the rest of you easy-to-read plebeians, bow down to your Uno god. Does anyone want a rematch?”

“Gonta does!”

Silence and surprise filled the room, as Gonta, all smiles, stepped up to the challenge that Korekiyo had laid out. The Anthropologist let out a snort of laughter, and begin to deal the cards out evenly.

“Fine…for this match, if I somehow lose, I will remove my mask.”

The shock from Gonta challenging was doubled, as the weight of Kiyos announcement hung in the air. This was gonna be a game for the ages...

* * *

 

“Wow, this is boring.” Himiko and Kokichi had been playing their favourite game, Benchwamers, for around 45 minutes and it was getting tiring.’

“I know right. There’s only so many times Shuichi can dodge the tetherball before it stops being funny.”

“I know right.” Himiko replied in frustration.

“...Hey, wanna skip?”

“It’s not like Juzo can stop us, right?”

“Yeah! Wanna go up to the roof? We can throw sticks at people walking past.”

“Haha! Okay.” The mage said with a laugh, following Ouma out the door and up to the rooftops of Hopes Peak. The streets were surprisingly barren, as the pair gazed over the sunset lit view.  _Ask her out, ask her out. On five. 1…2…3…4_ -

“The sky looks pretty today.” Himikos voice pierced his train of thought.

“Yeah, it does.”

“I don’t really like sunsets so much though.”

“Then what **do** you like?”

“Cloudy days. Not quite raining, but not sunny either.”

“So…grey?”

“Yeah, grey.”

“…That’s weird.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh? Do you like grey food too?”

“Ah! That’s Gross!”

Silence soon gushed over the pair, both awkwardly staring at their hands.

_Nows your chance Kokichi, just ask her out…maybe on a grey day? Would she like that more. Whatever, 1…2…3…4… **5**._

“Doyouwannagooutwithme!” He said, way too quickly, almost immediately folding his head into his hands. The lack of noise was like knives, as he couldn’t even muster up the courage to raise his head and look through his fingers.

“K-Kokichi…you aren’t **lying,** are you?” Himiko said, eyes beginning to widen.

“What?! No! No! I swear, I really do like you! Really, tota- “His sincere tirade was cut off by the sound of Himiko giggling underneath her mouth. “You…got me.”

“I totally did!” Himiko laughed, on the verge of tears, leaving Kokichi dumbfounded. Eventually, the girl picked herself up from her laughing fit and smiled. “Yeah, I guess I’ll go out with you.”

“Really?! I mean, yeah, why wouldn’t you? You don’t get the chance to date someone this cool every day.”

Himiko giggled, before her laugh died off, and she threw herself on Kokichi in a hug. It was 5 minutes before he moved a muscle.

* * *

 

This was not going well. The spectators were in shock, the room was silent, the sky was falling. Somehow, Gonta was beating Kiyo in Uno.

The boy was getting more and more pedantic in his card approach, as he jittered in his chair.

“Hurry up Kiyo!” Tenko yelled across the table.

“I am taking m-my time with my cards.”

“Five seconds or you miss your turn!”

“Fine!” He slammed a regular, green card down on the table, only for Gonta to counter with a wild card.

“Gonta uses this card because it has the most power from all the colours”

“No! That is wrong!”

“I pick the red colour!”

Kiyo went deadly silent, as he glared daggers at Gonta, picking up extra cards so he could continue playing.

“This is fine…everything’s fine.”

“Doesn’t look fine.” Kaito bluntly stated.

“You shut your whore _mo-uth_.” The lanky boy attempted to sing. “Stay calm, Kiyo. **Calm**. Kirumi drinks please…. **THIS IS JUST ICE!”**

His outburst took his attention away from Gonta, who placed his final card in the stack and let out a triumphant cry.

“Ulno!”

Ryoma quickly whispered something in his ear.

“Oh, Uno!”

Korekiyo let out a tortured screech, and slumped in his chair. The eyes of everyone loomed over him, causing the boy to shamefully bring his hands up to his face.

And off came the mask…

The realization of what they saw took a moment to seep in to the collective student body. There was absolutely nothing that could make them wrap their heads around what they’d seen…except Korekiyos creaky, old man with lung cancer laugh.

He’d been wearing two masks.

“Ohohoho! I got you good, didn’t I?!”

“Y-You cheat!” Tsumugi shouted, but it fell on deaf ears.

“No, no! This is completely in line with the rules. You see, this mask…is a Halloween costume party store **loan** , meaning it is not **my** mask, which is what I said I would remove! HAHA! Oh, you should see your faces!”

There was a feeling of disappointment as everyone lost interest and began to fill out of the room, only leaving Ryoma and Korekiyo still there.

“I’ll say Kiyo…you did a really good job pretending to lose there.”

“Ah, yes…pretend…”


	55. Snow Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War...War never changes, especially when the 77th find a vast amount of snow outside

There was something about the cold that Nanami enjoyed…maybe it was the fact that she slept better in it, either way, no one was waking her up on a day like this, where the blinds were shut, the temperature was **just right** and-

**_Click Clack!_ **

Holy shit, someone unlocked her door.

“CHIAKI! IT’S SNOWING!” Ibuki screamed at the tippy top of her lungs, causing the Gamer to shoot out of her bed like a bullet, mentally regretting the fact she’d given Ibuki her safe contact key instead of Mahiru.

“W-wha?”

“CHIAKI IT’S SNOW- “

“Yeah, I heard you the first time.”

“And Ibuki think it needs re-iteration, it’s snowing!”

“…So?”

“ **So,** everyone’s out there having a good time. You’d want to get in on that wouldn’t ‘cha, class rep?”

Chiaki let out a loud groan before trudging out of bed (to the sound of Ibukis cheers) and dressing in a cardigan and pale green scarf.

She opened the exit doors to observe the 77th class playing around in the snow. Gundham and Fuyuhiko had constructed a snowman, Hiyoko was making a snow angel (and promptly scribbling pentagrams all over it), all the basic winter stuff. Before anything though, she looked over the people, mentally counting for the person she wanted to see, before flagging him down and laying her head onto his shoulder.

“Hey hey Nagito.” She said, leaning on his shoulder, trying to act aloof, but her blush gave away any semblance of chill (not a pun) she had.

“Hey.” He said back, a small smile falling onto his lips as she pushed up against his side.

“It’s a nice-looking view isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it shouldn’t be long before- “

“SNOWBALL FIGHT!” Akane shouted, bombarding Nekomaru with a barrage of fluff. “BOYS VS. GIRLS!”

Nanami and Nagito looked at each other for 5 long seconds, before Chiaki lept to the ground, scooping up snow, as the luckster ran for the hill, quickly darting behind Hajime, who was forced to take the full brunt of Chiakis attack.

“Sorry Hajime!”

“No problem.” The lump of snow murmured.

“What the hell is going on down her- ** _umph!_** ” Kazuichi drowsily took a hit, as he cascaded down to the courtyard.

“Keep on your toes Souda!” Sonia giggled, which only made the Mechanic groan as he attempted to stand up, to little avail.

“ **GUYS STOP!** ” Fuyuhikos yell boomed over the area, halting all action. “We can’t fight like this! We’ll get hypothermia, and then everyone’ll be having a real bad time in a hospital bed. I’m proposing a peace treaty, right here, right now”

Murmurs began to pipe up between the 77th, before it was passed, in (almost) unanimous agreement. If anyone was watching, they’d noticed Hajime had gone up stairs.

* * *

 

There was something about the cold that Mahiru didn’t enjoy. Maybe it was the fact that she could never feel warm, maybe it was how she hated any form of snow (no matter how aesthetically pleasing), either way, she wasn’t enthused when she woke up freezing and certainly not when she saw the snowflakes stained on her window.

**_Knock Knock!_ **

Mahiru disliked the sound that rung out, meaning one of the others must’ve realised her absence.

“Don’t come in! I’m…working on a really easy to knock over sculpture.”

The door unlocked and Hajime wandered in. 

“And now you’ve ruined my sculpture.” She lied, motioning to the floor.

“Please, you once described sculptures as “Pictures but expensive and fucking stupid””

“Which is true!” Mahiru blurted out, before realising she’d counteracted her own point, soon turning her excuses to silence as she looked at the ground.

“…Are you gonna come outside.”

“No Hajime, I don’t like the cold, and just because we can have some **fun** , lovey-dovey moment as a couple, doesn’t change my mind.”

“I actually just wanted to see what you could do with the snow in your pictures, but I wouldn’t turn down a “fun, lovey-dovey moment as a couple” either.”

Koizumi stayed silent.

“…We can manipulate the others into bombarding themselves with snowballs.

Mahiru clicked her tongue in thought, before sighing. “Yeah, okay, that kinda sounds better than what I’m doing in here…but only for, like, 15 minutes okay?”

“Yep.”

“I’m serious!”

“ **Okay** , jeez!” Hajime whined, taking out his phone and setting a timer. “See, 15 minutes.”

Mahiru gingerly put on a matching orange scarf and beanie and followed him out of the building. Hajime noticed something clutching his hand before the exit, but, for fear of his life, didn’t look back to see what it was.

* * *

 

Fuyuhiko had spent time building up his barrier. He didn’t trust Owari, she was trigger happy to a fault. The faintest of footsteps alerted him to his side, where Gundham stood.

“Any notes?”

“They are stocking up on offensive weaponry. Sling shots, trenches, barbed wire.”

“Wait, actual fucking barbed wire?”

“No, it’s made out of snow.”

“That’s fuckin’ stupid. Did Akane come up with it?”

“No, Peko did”

“Eh, actually, that’s a good idea, maybe we should try our own version.”

Both of them were cut off by the sound of two high pitch voices giggling to the side of their barrier.

“Mitari! Stop coeluting with the enemy!” Gundham shouted.

“In a minute! So is 8:30 okay for you, because I- “

A Snowball cut off the small hole he’d been using to chat to Mikan, causing the boy to angrily stare back at the pair.

“Get a grip Mitari, we’re using advanced tactics over here and your blowing it!”

It was then that Imposter rolled back over the trenches, dressed in what appeared to be Chisas uniform, and collapsed on the ground simply letting out the words “they didn’t buy it.”

All three boys paused, before Fuyuhiko returned to berating Mitari.

“Do you want a Death of Stalin situation? Cause this is how you get a Death of Stalin situation. We get paranoid and we start to prematurely fight, but as long as I keep control, I’ll never let that happen.”

“Hey, Fuyuhiko, just got word from Mahiru that the girls are developing a new plan of attack. Just wanted to let you know…also Akane said your yakuza hat looked dumb” Hajime strolled past the Yakuza, moving past the blockade and leaving all boys silent.

“…We have to prepare something”

“Prepare what?” Gundham confusedly replied.

“ **Something** …. get me a bucket of nitro glycerin, five plastic bags, a sledgehammer and a bonesaw.”

“I can get you the plastic bags.”

“Okay, new plan, get me some snow.”

“Get some yourself, lazy heathen!”

* * *

 

“Fuyuhikos planning something.” Peko simply stated, peeking over Akanes trench.

“How do you know?” Owari replied.

“He bites his thumb like a rabbit when he’s planning something.”

“Oh, I get ‘ya…so is he biting his thumb?”

“Yes, hence why I told you he is.”

“ **Uhh!** Why are we stuck in a trench on a cold day!” Hiyoko screamed. “Who’s fucking idea was this?”

“Mine.” Chiaki said, pressing the buttons of her handheld. This directed Hiyokos pint-sized fury onto her.

“Why?! Why did you think this was a good thing?!”

“Because, they built a barricade, but that’s a rookie mistake, a barricade can’t hold anything when it’s made out of snow, so their gonna look pretty stupid when we hit them with our full force barrage.”

“They’re not even gonna attack us!” Hiyoko said back.

“I wouldn’t be too sure- “Mahiru interjected, peeking out over the top of the trench.

“Big sis Mahiru!” Hiyoko joyously called out.

“Hajime tells me the boys are planning to come down **hard** , with like, a full-on WMD assault of snow.”

“That does sound like Fuyuhiko.” Peko reasoned.

“Thanks for the tip off Mahiru! Girls, lets get working!”

* * *

 

Now that both sides had been thoroughly set into a frenzy, Mahiru and Hajime had the entire schoolyard to themselves, Koizumi rushing to take photos of everything.

“Now, I can use the snow like this to reflect the- **owl!** ” She whisper-yelled, as a small, white snow owl flew into the trees.  “Hinata, don’t move!” It was then that she saw the boy holding the ticking timer of a phone upwards. Realizing the sound would alert the creature, she quickly accepted the boy’s ultimatum.

“Okay, fifteen more minutes.” She grumbled, before her attention turned back to the owl, beginning to snap pictures of it.

* * *

 

Fuyuhiko had no idea how he was gonna pull this off. The plant at first had been to just cave in their stupid fuckin trench, but that was now a no-go, as they now knew he was coming.

“How ya doing, sarge?”

Teruterus unpleasant, grimy, gremlin-like head popped out of the snow like a bowling ball rolling down a lane.

“Ah! What the hell do you want?”

“Nothing, nothing…just noticed you were having some difficulty planning was all.”

“…Did you?”

“Yep.”

“…Do you have any ideas?”

“Oh, I may have a few…it just involves some cold cooking oil and a rolled-up newspaper.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but go get your shit. We’re low on defences anyways.”

“Great! Ya won’t regret this.”

Fuyuhiko sighed as soon as he was out of earshot, leaning against the wall of the snow barrier, until he noticed the wall to his right looked not quite-

“ **Boo!** ”

“FUCK!” Fuyuhiko launched to the ground in fear as Nagito emerged from the wall, hair draped over his face, his regular green hoodie having been replaced by a white one with black decals.

“YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME.”

“My apologies Fuyuhiko, I simply noticed that with my hair and this hoodie, I can become completely camouflaged.”

“Between that hoodie and your complexion, you look straight outta 50s TV”

“My outfit is actually a designer fitted replication of Soras final form hoodie from Kingdom Hearts 2.”

“That’s pretty fucking lame.”

“Well, I guess it is, isn’t it…by the way, you know the whole of that area over there?”

“Yeah, it’s been in my line of vision for the last 4 hours.”

“Don’t go over there…at all.”

“…okay.”

“And if you see any small dots in the snow…don’t step on them.”

“Got ya.”

Suddenly, he couldn’t see Nagito anymore.

* * *

 

“Woah, look how this looks Hajime. The snowflake on the lens I mean.” Mahiru gushed, thrusting her camera out to her boyfriend only to slightly recoil. “It’s not that great though, like, overall…oh, look a cluster of them!”

**_Beep Beep Beep! Beep Beep Beep!_ **

“Welp, looks like our 15 minutes is up…”

“ **No!** I mean, my room is…cold…and out here is…not so cold?”

Mahirus point made little sense, but Hajime was far from ready to just let her shut herself in again.

“Makes sense. Another 15?”

“Yeah…”

Hajime happily reset the timer.

* * *

 

“Okay, let’s end this bullshit right here! Owari, get the fuck outta your stupid trench.”

“The trench has superior battle placement and tactical- “ Chiaki screamed, only to be shushed by the others

“We’re comin right out.”

The girls emerged, snowballs in no short supply.

“Give it up Kuzyuryu, we’ve got you totally outgunned.” Ibuki said with a smirk.

“Sure ‘ya do, Teruteru, do it now!”

Teruteru came running out of the building, pot of oil in hand. The Yakuza boy waited for the grand attack...but Teruteru just ran in front of him and poured the oil on the ground.

“…Okay now what happens?”

“That’s it.”

“… **what?”**

“See it’s funny, now it looks like someone’s pissed in the snow”

Fuyuhiko was about to straight-up **murder** the boy who stood before him only to feel the sharp sting of cold on his neck, as the barrage of snowballs began to be targeted on him.

“Nagito, do your thing!” Fuyuhiko looked to his side, only to see Nagito, half way across the fucking yard, with headphones in, scrolling through his phone.

* * *

 

“ _When you walk away! You don’t hear me say, **pleaaaaaaaaaase,** oh baby, don’t go. Simple and Clean is the way that you’re making me feel tonight!_” Nagito sung, oblivious.

* * *

 

“Guys, help me!” Fuyuhiko called out, only to see Imposter, Mitari and Gundhams heads poked over the barricade, eyes indicating that none were willing to go to war…until a snowball pierced the defense.

“ ** _Void Step_** ” Gundham clasped his hands together and disappeared in a ball of light, while Imposter ducked behind the remaining cover and Ryota scrunched himself up into a frenzied, flailing ball, screaming “MY ALLERGIES!”  

“…Guys, this is almost too easy.” Akane commented, to which everyone agreed, until the sound of a clink and Kazuichis high pitched laugh was heard and an avalanche of **thousands** of snowballs raced towards them.

“I didn’t think this would work, but with that trench design…” Kazuichi commented, with a smirk.

“The trench…betrayed me?!” Chiaki screamed as everyone in the aforementioned defence was subjugated to a never-ending cascade of frozen cold.

The gamer managed to make her way out, and crawled over to where Nagito was blankly standing.

“Nagito, help!”

“Don’t help her, help us Nagito! She’s not even on your side.” Kuzuryu limped over, snow still radiating from him.

“Kingdom Hearts is a good game!” Chiaki protested.

“How is that relevant?”

“He didn’t deny!”

Nagito simply pulled a string that appeared to be connected to his fingers and caused a massive number of explosions to ring out throughout the boy’s side, sending Fuyuhiko flying back.

“Landmines?! Really?” Chiaki shouted, as Nagito idly played with his hair.

“What’s your favourite Kingdom Hearts game?”

“Um…um…Dream Drop Distance?”

Nanami felt the pressure from underneath her, and just a soon as she spoke, the mines on **her** side exploded as well, causing a damn near blizzard to fall upon everyone in the surrounding area.

* * *

 

“Woah...” Mahiru commented, as she and Hajime sat down at the top of a hill, giving them a perfect view of both the school and the fight. “Why aren’t the teachers stopping this?”

“Are you kidding me? They bailed at the first sign of a day off.”

“Fair enough, I probably would too, if I knew that the kids were gonna go full Western Front on the campus.”

Hajime lightly laughed as the pair gazed out at the pink tinted, rapidly emerging sun. There was a long drawn out silence, until Mahiru blushed, turning her face to the boy.

“Do…you want to have our…” lovey dovey” couple moment.”

“I mean…if we’re here.”

The two slowly pressed up against each other, as awkwardly as possible, before finally kissing…

**_Beep Beep Beep! Beep Beep Beep!_ **

“Wow, mood killer.” Mahiru sarcastically shot, as Hajime sighed in frustration.

“I knew I should’ve just turned it off entirely.”

“Well you didn’t, and now you’ve been cockblocked by an electronic device. How does that make you feel?”

“Uh, ashamed…I would like to apologize to everyone in my life thus far. This is a tragedy that only I could’ve prevented and I’m sorry.” He jokingly stammered, causing Mahiru to nearly double over laughing.

“HAHAHAheheh…I love you and I like you.”

“I love you and I like you too.”

The two sat there for a while, taking in the view and each other’s company. Nothing could spoil thi-

“Jeez, it’s fucking freezing.” Mahiru complained

“It really is.”

“Do you wanna go inside.”

“Yes.”

 


	56. Disco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 79s Disco quickly descends into a shitstorm of racketeering schemes and Bon Jovi.

**6 Hours Until Show Time**

“Listen up you little demons, the school disco is tonight, so I’m expecting you to be on your best behavior.”  Kizakura said, crouching on his chair.

The class had been dreading the disco. Nothing was worse than publicly, seen-by-all dancing. What was worse is that, after the incident of the 77s disco famously being only attended by Hajime, Mahiru and Gundham, Chisa had demanded absent students bring a medical certificate to school the next day…this backfired, as Mikan ended up being borderline harassed by 75% of the class 79.

The certificate rule was changed to a program where each student handed in a key to Juzo, so he could patrol their dorms all night, to see if they were faking or not.

This led to another scramble, to see who could get one of the helper jobs. Of which it ended up as:

“Yumeno and Ouma, you guys are security **,** here’s your taser to share between the both of you. Remember only use it in **extreme** situations.”

“Got ya’” They both said.

“Maki, Shuichi and Rantaro. You guys are DJs. Please report to the stage two hours before opening time. Korekiyo and Angie, you are in charge of the food and drink, make sure everyone get’s only two of these soda vouchers. Last year, two of the kids in the 78th thought it’d be a “hilarious prank” if they dumped soda all over everyone in the room…they ended up getting their asses kicked, so let this be a warning for things not to get out of control this time, okay?” With that, Kizakura hastily stumbled out of the classroom, shutting the door behind him.

“…He does realize we have 45 minutes left this period?”

“Nope, he doesn’t but- “Kokichi started only for Keebo to loudly interrupt him.

“Has anyone seen the movie Short Circuit?”

…There was a long pause from everyone.

“…Why have you asked this.” Korekiyo filled in the blanks.

“Because I really want to watch the movie Short Circuit.”

“Then watch it, it’s only two hours of your time.” The lankier boy reasoned.

“That’s a long time to waste if it’s bad though.”

“Kee-Boy, no one cares.”

“I know, but I just really want to watch it.”

“Firstly, why Short Circuit out of every movie? Secondly, I have 16 gigabytes of porn I want to watch, but I don’t tell anyone about it.” 

“That was easily in the top ten things I didn’t need to know.” Rantaro sighed.

“Anyway, you guys all better start treating me and Himiko with respect or we’re gonna go all **martial law** on your asses” Kokichi smirked, as Himiko held up the taser.

“I say we declare martial law right now!” Himiko suggested.

“Great idea babe.”

“I still can’t believe you two are dating.” Maki said with a sigh.

“Not only that, but we’re completely in synch!” Kokichi bragged “We- “

“-Even”

“-Finish”

“-Each”

“-Others”

“-Sandwiches!”  Himiko finished.

“Nope, that’s not right. “Kokichi tried to protest only for The Mage to cut him off.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want to finish your sandwiches anyway. Get this, he takes the whole thing and dunks it in olive oil.”

“It’s a dipping sauce!”

“Sandwiches don’t need dipping sauces! The sauce goes above the bread.”

“Yeah, well I think outside the box, unlike you, square!”

“You have no box because the drippings from your Olive Oil cause it to shrivel up. You probably like Subway sandwiches as well!”

“Hey! You watch your mouth; the subway monkey is my hero!”

While Himiko scribbled “Subway Monkey “down in her book of “Kokichi Oumas heroes” (which had been giving her enough material to go through two exercise books) Kiyo attentively analyzed the stack of vouchers he’d been given, with great interest, which drew concern from Ryoma.

“Kiyo?”

“The power of the sun…in the palm of my hand…”

“This is the smallest amount of power I’ve ever seen go to someones head.”

“The one who control the non-alcoholic beverages control everything Ryoma.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not the sole drink master, are you? I’m sure Angies not going to go on with your racketeering scheme.”

“Oh! Did somebody say racketeering scheme!” Angie said, popping up from behind the two.

“Damn it.”

“Yes, I did Yonaga!”

“ **O** kay. Run me through your process.”

“Step one, give everyone their drink tokens, step two, introduce a **tiered** drinks system. Tier one drinks, that are available to everyone are Off brands and- “

Ryoma mouthed this bit with him.

“Dr Pepper because it is only drunk by coke fiends and gutter whores. Tier 2, costs five dollars, and you get access to the better drinks, like Sprite, Pepsi, Sunkist, Panta. Tier 3, you get access to the Coca Cola range of products, which is ten dollars.”

“This is so dumb.” Ryoma said, only for Angies face to come crashing 5cm from his own.

“ _Pllllllease,_ Ryoma, don’t tell Mr. Kizakura about this. We’ll even split the profits with you.”

Pulling his beanie down to hide the blush, Ryomas mind started to race.

“…hmph, fine.”

“Yaaaay!”

“Uh…so not cool”

* * *

 

**3 Hours Until Show Time.**

Rantaro had to admit that this was a nice set up. Good lighting, excellent controls and a perfect place to blast his nice, well balanced mix.

“Put these songs in.” Maki bluntly interrupted him, dropping a small USB drive on the table…

“Nice to see you too.” Rantaro payed very little mind to the Assassin, as he fumbled with the buttons of the speakers.

“Put these songs in as well.” Shuichi appeared from below him, placing his USB next to Makis.

“Well it’s great both of you decided to show up **after** I did all the heavy lifting, but let me just…holy shit.”

“ **What**?” The couple said simultaneously.

“Jesus Christ, your guys taste in music sucks.”

“No i-it doesn’t!” Maki was the first to defend herself, but was slapped down just as quickly.

“This is **all** just Bring Me the Horizon stuff, and they are the worst.”

“T-their cool” Maki complained, but her own change in tone made it obvious she didn’t really even believe herself.

“And Shuichi, dude, you have a different song labeled for a different chore like “Shuichis wake up song” “Shuichis clean upsong””

“It’s a good way to stay organized!”

“Yeah, but every song is “It’s My Life” by Bon Jovi.”

“…which is good song.”

“Yeah, but just going by the numbers, you must listen to this song 35 times every day.”

“But- “

“Shuichi, do you own any other music aside from this one shitty song” Maki spat, only to receive the same venom back.

“I’d rather have that one shitty song than the consistent cycle of garbage Bring Me the Horizon puts out.”

“Listen, you fucking- “

“Guys, chill, chill.” Rantaro interjected “We can play your definition of insanity and the emo screamo”

“ **It’s not emo screamo**.” Makis eyes started to glow in rage, a fact which didn’t deter Rantaro.

“It is a bit though.”

Rantaros death was temporarily delayed, as the loud **beep** of a photocopier shrieked through the room. The trio turned around to see Korekiyo and Angie hastily printing out rows and rows of colored notes with “prices” inked on them.

“What’s going on over here?” Rantaro shouted.

“Ah, Amami, this is our new drink delivery system. It’s an easier way for you people to purchase drinks from us!”

“Hold on, purchase?” Shuichi asked, realizing that the intention was for no money was to be spent at the school event.

“’Should’ve known this would happen.” Maki sighed realizing, what had gone down. “How much for a sprite?”

“Five dollars” Kiyo simply said, which prompted Maki to hand him over the cash way too fast.

“I can use this later right?”

“Yes…although…” He held his although for an inaudibly long amount of time, until Maki finally cut him off.

“Although what?”

“Although nothing.” Korekiyo quickly glossed over his words, returning back to the photo copier.

“ **IT’S MY LIFE!** ” The song blasted from the speakers, causing Maki and Rantaro to rush over to the system, just to keep Shuichi from turning it up even more.

“I’M JUST TESTING THE SPEAKERS!”

“I DON’T CARE, NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO BON JOVI!” Maki shouted back, only for the doors to open, as Angie strode into the room.

“Oh! This is a lovely rhythm! “… **I don’t want to live fore-ver** ”” Her and Shuichi both harmonized, leaving Harukawa and Amami groaning at the congealed noises from the singing and Korekiyos loud ass printer.

* * *

 

**2 Hours Until Show Time**

Now that Shuichi and Maki had taken a 30-minute break, so they could catch a train to the city and buy some snacks, Rantaro was free to select his songs in peac-

“Rantaro!” How the fuck did Keebo get in here?

“Yo.”

“I have a special request.”

“No, I will not carpet bomb Mr. Kirigiris office.”

“…Excuse me?”

“Sorry, I’m so used to Kokichi giving me special requests, my brain defaults to trying to prematurely shut him down”

“Well anyway, I want you to do a thing with the music.”

“Okay?”

“There’s this girl…”

“Miu.”

“…How d-did you…”

“Oh, I followed you home, waited for you to go to sleep and stole your super-secret journal.”

“But my journal is in a lock box and I still have the key!”

“Wait, what…whatever, I didn’t actually follow you home dude, it’s just obvious.”

“O-oh.”

“…You wanted me to play something?”

“Yes! Or, uh, the other way around! See, I want to ask her out in a really special moment, so, if you could cut the music when I give the signal, I’d be forever thankful!”

“Sure. Good on you for working up the nerve. By the way, I’ve got Short Circuit on DVD, I can lend it to you?”

“Oh, thank you so much! I’m very excited to see how the movie Short Circuit deals with Robotic themes”

“Do you have to call it “the movie Short Circuit” every time”

“Of course, I do, it’s so you can differentiate from if I’m having an actual short circuit or not.”

* * *

 

**Show Time**

Well this was positively depressing. The sound of an almost teen, screaming into audacity, blared over the speakers, as the people who weren’t doing jobs were either sitting at the table, or “dancing” (by bobbling around like Lemmings)

Even the security was more occupied with making each other spit up drinks, then actually securing anything.

“That’s when I learnt…my sister…was a character… played by Rob Schneider.”

Himiko immediately held her breath to try and keep herself from laughing, only succeeding for a brief few seconds before projectiling the drink into a fine mist in front of her, with a laugh.

“HAHAHAHA! HA, heh, heh…okay, okay, now I do you.”

“Okay!” Kokichi quickly gulped down some of his drink, and waited in preparation for her reveal.

“There was a break in down on 4th avenue, when I got there, all the cops were dead on the ground, slaughtered by who knows. Hesitantly I made my way inside, and there it was…my Moms gardener!”

The silence settled in as Kokichi gave his girlfriend a bored and dismayed stare.

“…and he was Rob Schneider”

Kokichi spat his drink so far it started effecting the light system above him.

“What is it with you and Rob Schneider?”   

“Dude, Rob Schneider’s my hero.”

“There’s another one.”

“Whenever I’m feeling glum, I just watch clips or Rob Schneider going “You can do it!” and I feel much better.”

Himiko let out a small laugh, as Kokichi continued to go on.

“Have you even seen Real Rob on Netflix?”

“I don’t have Netflix, dummy.”

“Yeah, I don’t really either, I just keep it around so I can watch Real Rob.”

“That’s sad.”

“It is. This isn’t a funny joke Himiko, I used to put it on just to laugh at it, but now I’m struggling to sleep without watching an episode first.”

Himikos expression was one of sheer bewilderment, before Kokichi burst out laughing.

“Got ya!”

“Haha, guess you did.”

Kokichi very quickly scrambled to clear his Netflix watch history when she turned away.

“Hey, we’re out of soda!” Himiko said, noticing the empty cans.

“Don’t worry, I saved my two tokens, so we’re still golden.”

The pair quickly dashed over to the drink both, tokens almost flying through Kokichis bony fingers, as he made his way to the table.

“Ay, Ultimate Anthropologist, your lyrics are bottomless, rhymes flowing like phosphorus from the top of this- “

“Esophagus. Yes, Kokichi I’ve heard this same recital around fifteen times in the last six months.”

“And here’s to fifteen more. Anyway, can we get a grape panta and a coke?”

“Sure, here- “ Ryoma tried to start, only for Kiyos arm to intercept him.

“Five dollars for the Panta, ten for the coke.”

“I’m sorry what?” Himiko asked.

“It’s a new system me and Yonaga have started on. It’s very consumer-efficient, you could even participate in the shared pass program if you want?”

“Sounds like Communist propaganda but ok.” Kokichi quipped, as his companion started to investigate the scene.

“This is fishy Kiyo. I don’t like it, change it back.”

“Change it back to what?”

“…The way it was before.”

“I have no recollection of that. Besides, Yumeno, where are the rules that say we cannot exploit the system.”

“…” Himiko stayed silent for an uncomfortably long amount of time.

“…I think he’s got you there, babe.” Kokichi whispered, as it became apparent Himiko was not going to speak.

“I know, he does but I don’t want to admit it.” She audibly said back through gritted teeth. Eventually, her minds “fight or flight” kicked in, and she grabbed the nearest can of Coke, pouring it all over Korekiyo.

“Haha, jokes on you, I do this to exfoliate my pores every day, you just saved me fifteen minutes.”

“ **GRRR!** Ouma come on! We’re printing a rulebook!”

As the Supreme Leader was dragged to the Library by the hem of his bandanna, he made a joking “eyes on you” signal to the drink stand, causing Angie to sigh.

“Oh no no no, this is not good at all.”

“Agreed, Yonaga would you- “

“Gonta wants to use his drink tokens.” A loud voice interrupted the two of them. Korekiyo smiled from under his mask, turning to Angie and mouthing “jackpot”.

“Yes, what do you want.”

“Dr. Pepper please!”

Korekiyos face fell, as Gonta slapped the drink token on the counter and walked off with the drink before The Anthropologist could even realize that his own system had failed him.

“…So, what is he, a coke fiend or a gutter whore?” Ryoma said, the joke not being paired with an adequate tone, something Kiyo noted as he gave no response.

“What’s this about coke fiends?” Makis damp voice sprung Korekiyo back to life, as he eyed her drink pass. “I’m here to collect my sprite.”

The next thing she knew, the drink pass in her hand was torn to shreds.

“...That’ll be five dollars please.”

“ **What?** ”

“Your pass has expired.”

“You specifically told me I could use it later.”

“You took too long.”

“But I- “

“MEEP”

“…Are you serio- “

“MEEEEEP”

“Fucking scam- “

“ **MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”** Korekiyo loudly exclaimed, Angie joining in, as Maki stormed away in a huff.

* * *

 

**_Click! Click! Click!_ **

Rantaro had been observing Keebos clicking for around 2 minutes straight, waiting to see if the robot boy would give any indication that that was indeed the signal, but it just didn’t happen.

“…is that the signal?” Rantaro finally said.

“Yep” Keebo quickly said.

Suddenly, the music cut out as Rantaro dragged his hand across the vintage vinyl.

“E-excuse me, I have something I would like to say!” Keebo attempted to project his voice across the whole room, which caused silence to occur (more so than it already was.) He looked around, before his eyes fell on Miu, who was looking at him quizzingly. Come on Keebo, you could do this. “I-I-I, I-I… I saw the movie Short Circuit and it did not live up to the hype.”

The student collective groaned, Miu in particular, as Keebo quickly slumped himself down as the lights and music resumed. 

* * *

“Ah! Where’d our rule book go?!” Himiko shouted as she looked over the printing room, to which the aforementioned machine was not even turning on.

Ouma, quickly realizing what was going on, looked over the machine and saw a complete lack of ink cartridges.

“Chief, I think there’s been foul play involved.”

* * *

 

 _Wow, Ink Cartridges were great for exfoliating_ Kiyo thought to himself, as he poured some of the blue onto his hand. What wasn’t great for exfoliating was the larger growing group of people outside his stand wanting two things: Drinks and their money still in their wallets.

“Kiyo you fucking virgin, come out of your stupid cave and give us our drinks.”

“No!” He shouted over the curtain. “You can have Dr. Pepper and KluKluxKola with the tokens”

“No one want’s KluKluxKola! It tastes like dust and a failing political system!” Kaede shouted. 

“Yes, Korekiyo, you must give us the drinks.” That was Angie, she’d taken half the profit and exited out as quickly as she could.

“Kiyo, we’re gonna start a student riot if you don’t come out.” That was Ryoma, who’d taken an extra 25% ontop of Angies cut, leaving Kiyo with, like, eight bucks.

“Start a riot, I don’t care! I’ve survived through the Korekoshi death camps, I can take you guys.”

 He heard the sound of feet stomping on the floor violently (it was really just Ryoma and Angie jumping up and down from the table) and almost immediately hit the panic, button. Quickly shaking all the cans, he busted through the curtain, spraying soda all over the protestors, eyes turning bloodshot, as people ran away in sticky terror.

“Ew, gross. He’s having a fuckin’ sperg out.” Miu shouted, covering herself under her arm.

“Kukukuku **kukukuKUKUKU!** ” His laugh radiated through the room, until **bam** out of nowhere a volt of electricity shocked him to unconsciousness. The last thing he saw before he past out was Himiko holding a tazer.

“We did it Ouma, we saved the disco!” She yelled, not quite observing the rows of bored, tired people that had been drenched in soda.

“ **IT’S MY LIFE** ” and there it was. It one coup de grace, Shuichi had not only set up “It’s My Life”, but completely mangled the control panel to the point where nobody could switch songs, much to Maki and Rantaros musical horror. 

Jin made an official announcement the next morning that they were cancelling the school disco for the forcible future.


	57. Makoto And Byakuya Don't Pass For 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is what happens when you don't put in enough time to get fake ID's.

Gas, brake, honk. Gas, brake, honk. Honk, honk, punch. Gas, gas gas! Leon realized how fucked up the freeway to Naegis house was as he walked past on the sidewalk. Drivers man.

The baseball star had invited everyone to go clubbing with him, so they could do the usual teenager things, like sneaking into the club and drinking shit tons of alcohol. Surprisingly, everyone had agreed to go, as long as Leon did the routine track to **everyone’s** house to pick them up. This had also kickstarted the most elaborate parent-fooling plot in history, which Byakuya had devised after a painstaking 12 hours of questioning and planning who was sleeping over where.

**Ding Dong!**

Leon rang the doorbell, which was answered by Komaru.

“Huh? Oh, Makoto, your boyfriends here!”

“Brilliant.” Both heard back, along with stomping from upstairs.

Makoto came rushing down, just slipping his black jacket on, when Leon came to a stunning realization.

“…You have two hoodies.”

“Well, ones a jacket so- “

“Yeah, but it has a hood though.”

“What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing, it just looks a little…”

“Backstreet Boys?” Komaru filled in his blank.

“Yes! That’s exactly it! _And that makes you larger than life!_ ”

“Let’s just go please” Makoto said, pulling his hoodie up to mask his face. 

* * *

 

Around an hour later, everyone in the class was on the train, the sun just starting to come down.

“So, Kuwata, what joint are we hitting up?” Mondo asked, taking up two seats on with his “arms outspread on both sides” pose.

“The Golden Petal.”

“Oh, come on man.”

“It’s not my fault! The servers there are the only ones stupid enough to think we’re eighteen.”

“You’re joking! Togamai can just bribe the people at the counter.” Yasuhiro protested

“No I will fucking not.”

“How much do you have in your trust fund again?” Mondo growled.

“Firstly, if it’s in my trust fund I can’t use it, brainlet. Secondly, you don’t make money by spending it and I **know** Yasuhiro’s only gonna be a glass of water and a pack of peanuts down before he starts asking me to shout him drinks.”

“That’s a lie with no historical evidence to back it up.”

“Excuse me, I attended your old elementary schools fair, and you begged me for the cash to buy a pepsi within the first thirty minutes.”

“I had no money! You know that for a fact!”

“Yes, because you bought the candy stalls entire stock and attempted to sell it back to ten-year olds for double the price, and then put one of them in a headlock when they tried to bargain.”

“That little shit swung at me first. He wants to throw down, I’m gonna throw down.”

“Ah! You guys are weirdos.” Leon exclaimed, walking off to go find someone else to talk too, eventually finding Sayaka stationed at the back of the train.

“Hey, hey. What are you doing down here all by yourself?” 

He nuzzled his himself next o her, causing Sayaka to laugh.

“I’m just enjoying the view, weirdo. Could ask you the same thing.”

“I’m enjoying the view as well.” As he not-so-subtly stared at her.

“…That was bad, even for you.” The idol managed to get in between bursts of laughter.

“Oh, really? I had that one stored up for **weeks”**

“So, you were waiting for me to say “I’m enjoying the view” all that time?”

“…..”

* * *

 

_“I really love the view of the cherry blossoms.”_

_“Yeah, I-wait…um, huh, what’d you say?”_

* * *

 

“…No?”

“Yeah, okay”

“What’s got you all smarmy?” Leon snided, leaning back in his seat with increased comfortability.

“What do you mean.”

“When you’re comfortable, you get jokey.”

“O-oh.” Maizono was taken completely off-guard by the redhaired boys surprising perceptivity. “How’d you notice that?”

“Well, ya know, me, I’m an open book, you, you’re like a…closed book.”

“Lock box would’ve been a better analogy.”

” Yeah, yeah, I know. Anyway, it’s just easier for me to notice shit when you’re like that.”

“…I’m kinda happy to drink alcohol. I’ve never really done it before.”

“Never _really_?”

Sayakas face became one of slight panic and frustration, which Leon picked up on, as he decided not to pursue it further.

“It’s silly, but I like being able to do adult stuff. I’m so used to having to act like a little kid for the stage, it’s…tiring.”

The blue haired girl tensed up as she felt Leons arm slide behind her.

“Hey, I wanna drink to get wasted but that’s cool too.”

He always knew how to make her laugh, at least a little bit.

* * *

 

“Your cool...” God damn, Leon was right, this guy didn’t even bother to ask for ID. It was almost like this was an under-18 event, and showing ID meant you couldn’t get in. That was until, Makoto and Bykuya, the back of the line, made it up.

“You two, I’m going to have to see some ID.”

“…What?”

“Yeah, that doesn’t make sense.”

“This is an over 20’s club, so we need some ID. You, your cool.” He motioned to Chihiro, who was at the very back of the line.

“You are joking.”

“We don’t discriminate against shorter members of the public. Last year we had a grandma come in to get her fix, and she didn’t give us ID. Next thing we knew, she died in a car accident.”

“Her poor family.” Makoto sadly said.

“Actually, she drove the car into her families house and killed them all, but if she was drunk, she probably would’ve missed.”

“Oh…wait, why couldn’t you tell that the grandma was over 18?”

“Uhh…”

“Yes, and if I do this…” Byakuya squatted down to his legs “Am I now allowed in?”

“…You better run or I’m gonna beat you up.”

Byakuya and Makoto wanted to hold their ground and protest but they also wanted all their teeth intact, so without hesitation, they fucking bolted to a back alley.

“What are we gonna do?! Their all having fun, while we’re stuck in this really weirdly damp alley.”

“There has to be a rear entrance or vent or something.”

“No way am I travelling through a sleazy clubs vent.”

“Why?”

“There’s stuff in there…”

“Like what?”

“…Frogs.”

“Ha, Frogs?!”

“Yes, genetically enhanced frogs, I read it on the news once, some kid snuck into an airport vent, and was eaten by a genetically enhanced frog!”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Guys!”

Both Makoto and Byakuya’s heads thrust up to see Yasuhiro staring through at them through a small clearing in the wall.

“Yasuhiro, you have to help us! We got ID’ed at the door and we need- “

“No, Byakuya, you need to help me! I bought a glass of water and some peanuts and I have no more cash left.”

“You said you had 2000 yen.”

“I did, the peanuts were 1000 yen.”

“That’s not right…wait, that means the water was- “

“Purified, aquadaited and 1000 yen.”

“You’ve been ripped off dude.” Makoto said.

“Shit, I gotta go get my cash back!”

“Wait, Yasuhiro!” Byakuyas pleas fell on deaf ears as the small hatch slammed shut. "Damn it! What are we going to do now?"

“…I’ve got an idea”

“Hmm?”

“Big trench coat.”

“…I’m sorry?”

“Big trench coat! Ya’ know, like in the movies? I go on your shoulders and we walk in.”

“…. Okay, no, **that’s** the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

* * *

 

“Do you really just want tea?”

“Y-yes.”

“They literally have every type of alcohol imaginable behind that counter” Kyoko said, deadpanned.

“I-I’ve got d-drunk before. Not w-worth the hangover, at least m-most of the time.”

The detective shrugged and wandered over to the counter to order a sake and tea while Toko suddenly felt a vibration in her pocket. Recognizing the number immediately, she responded quickly.

“H-Hey, where a-are you?”

“Well, babe, see, there’s been a **slight** misstep.”

“THIS FUCKING DOOR!”

If Byakuayas screaming wasn’t enough of a red flag, Makoto sugarcoating his language certainly was.

“What happened?”

“We didn’t get in?”

“Huh? C-Chihiro got in!”

“Right?! I thought that was weird as well. Whatever, there’s a vent around the back, but it must be made out of titanium or something because- “

**_BAM! BAM! BAM!_ **

Byakuya wailed on the vent with feverous anger.

“We can’t get it open. Can you come around and…punch it or something?”

“You want me t-to punch a titanium vent?”

“It might not be titanium!”

**Beep!**

Fuck that.

* * *

 

“3…2…1, **Heave!** ” Makoto and Byakuya said in unison, as the heir lifted Naegi onto the roof.

“I’m on!”

“Okay, according to this map, there should be an attic through the left corner of the roof. Just stomp in the door and you’ll be right there.”

The luckster slowly crawled up the paving, only to slide back down again.

“Makoto, what are you doing?”

“Just wait, I’ll…hold on…”

Once again, he slid down

“Makoto, **please** ”

“I wasn’t expecting it to be on such a slope!”

“Just climb.”

“I…woah! O-okay… **AHH! NO!NO!NO!** ”

To Makoto, it was like he was being yanked around by a helicopter, to everyone else, it looked like he was rolling around like a 5-year-old.

“Makoto, just come down.” Byakuya exclaimed with a sigh, realising this was going nowhere.

“…I can’t stand up.”

* * *

 

“Ishimaru, bro, just drink it.” Mondo yelled, drunkenly slamming his fist on the table.

“No! It is **heavily** against the law, and you can count yourselves lucky I haven’t had you thrown out.”

“Dude, even Chihiros drinking!”

“Y-Yeah, Ishimaru, nut up!” Chihiro had not actually been getting smashed, as much as he had been walking to the bathroom and pouring the bottle down the toilet, before filling it back up with tap water.

“Fine, fine, **fine!** ” Ishimaru hastily snatched the sake out of Mondos hand a pushed it towards his face. “But I am drinking this in **tasteful** fashion!”

Oowada and Fujisaki were on the edge of their seats as Taka finally pushed the bottle up to his lips and drunk…before immediately dry heaving and exploding into coughs.

“Woah! Bro, you ok?”

“Ishimaru?”

“P-P-P-Poison!” He half shirked, through a dilapidated voice box, as he almost threw himself to the ground in panic. “I’m being possessed… **by the devil**.” He’d be making a scene if the class weren’t the only ones there.

“Mondo, what the hell did you do to him?” Asahina, who, along with Junko, Sakura and Mukuro where sitting at the booth next to the trio.

“I just gave him some Saki.”

“How much?” Sakura raised an eyebrow.

Instead of simply saying or observing, Mondo retrieved the bottle and **poured it on the ground** to show how much was left.  There was an uncomfortably long silence as the liquid hit the ground next to Ishimaru’s convulsing body.

Mukuro quickly grabbed the glass of flowers that had been adorned on their table and splashed Taka in the face with it, which, after what fittingly sounded like a car revving up, managed to kickstart him back to reality.

“Ishimaru…”

“Y-yes?”

“Are you alright?”

“I think so.”

“Great.”

Mukuro turned her back to the moral compass only to hear his slightly out-of-breath voice attempt to exclaim.

“Thank you Ikusaba!” 

She zoned out for a few seconds and she didn’t know why.

* * *

Celestia had been **raking** in the green over the last few hours. The only other person at the gambling table had been a half dead homeless man, so winning bets was easy.

“Wow, Celeste, you look fantastic tonight, just as a little side note there~” The voice of an idiot interrupted her train of thought, causing the gambler to sigh in annoyance.

“What do you want Yasuhiro?”

“Ouch. Let’s rewind a bit, how would you feel if I told you I could **double** what you’ve just made.”

“I would feel I’d just been lied too.”

“Yeah? Well, have you heard of Full Stock Investment?”

* * *

 

“Sorry about that” Mondo apologised, handing the empty bottle of sake to the man at the bar.

“No problem man. Happens all the time with the regulars.” The lanky bartender quietly took the slightly cracked bottle and threw it in the trash bin next to him. “Gotta say though, is that your girl over there?”

“…What?”

“The one in the green.”

He motioned to Chihiro.

“Uh…nah, not really.”

“Not really? Dude, there’s something there, keep it in mind.”

Mondo may or may not have taken the advice.

* * *

 

“Celeste, what’s- “

“I lost it all Maizono.”

“What?”

“4500 Yen burned… **because of him!** ” She evilly pointed her metal-clad finger at Yasuhiro, who was on the other side of the booth.

“Hey, I told you the plan beforehand!”

“YOU SPENT ALL OF MY MONEY ON PEANUTS WHEN THERE WAS NO ONE TO SELL TO!”

“Doesn’t change the above point.”

“Yeah, seems like you should’ve caught that.” Leon butted in.

“THEN HE ATE HALF THE PEANUTS!”

“Okay, Yasuhiro, dude, that’s on you.”

“Don’t worry, I can provide compensation, see…here’s five bucks and an M&M and a voodoo doll of a horse.”

“Is this seriously all you have?” Celeste asked.

“Well, actually, I kinda want the M&M now.”

He wasn’t prepared for Celestia to lunge over the table to strangle him.

* * *

 

It was raining, it was cold and Makoto and Byakuya had spent the last 5 minutes staring at a random hobo on the side of the street. He had a trench coat and…actually, that’s all the context you needed.

“Naegi, quit stalling, go up to him.”

“He’s gonna request a trade and I have nothing to trade.”

“Fine, here’s a cheque for 8000 yen, made out to “Trenchoat Hobo”, just get it done with.”

“Sweet, thanks.” Makoto dashed off, before Byakuya could realize he could’ve just bribed the guards with that.

The luckster quietly ran up to the man slummed on the wall, cheque in his back pocket.

“H-Hello sir.”

“’The fuck do you want?”

“Uhh…your trench coat.”

“You want me fuckin’ trench coat?”

“Yep!”

“…You gotta’ trade?”

“Uh…yeah, a cheque for 8000 yen.”

“Woah! Holy shit, is this transferable to afghani?”

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. Anyway, here.” The man unsuited only to reveal, to Naegis horror, that he was wearing **nothing under it**.

“Thank-AH!” The luckster instinctively let out upon seeing the mans dick flop out.

“What?”

“N-Nothing, I’m gonna be o-on my way.”

Gripping the trench coat **by the top** of the hood, he ran back to Byakya, who luckily didn’t see what just transpired.

“You look pale Makoto.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Okay…oh no.”

“What?”

“I **may** have misjudged the size of this coat.”

* * *

 

So Naegi rode on Byakuyas shoulders, the coat failing to obscure anything below Togamis chest, as Makoto played hockey pokey to avoid touching the crotch area.

“Quit shaking!”

“I can’t help it, I-ahem!” Makoto cleared his throat as they approached the bouncer. “Hello sir!”

“Hey…” The large man gave them a massive eagle eye as both of them held their breath. Slowly, the bouncer took out what appeared to be a “height card” and gauged them. “…You’re cool.”

The pair under the coat breathed a sigh of relief, before Byakuya uncoordinatedly started stepping forward, causing Makoto to bang his head against the wooden entrance and come tumbling off the Proginys shoulders.

“Ah, so it was you two?!” The bouncer recoiled in shock.

“Oh my god! We were this close to greatness!” Byakuya, who had also tumbled over yelled from the ground. “There’s 8000 yen down the drain!”

Before anything else could be said, the doors busted open as two of the bartenders escorted **every** student out, much to the ire of the crowd (who didn’t even notice Makoto and Byakuya on the floor)

“You are all banned from this bar for…. I don’t know, forever!”

“ **I DEMAND COMPENSATION!** ” I restrained Celeste yelled over to Yasuhiro, who had already bolted down the street. “ **GET BACK HERE!** ” The mob, of people, either angry at Yasuhiro being a conman or angry that Yasuhiro was a key part of them getting thrown out rushed down after him, leaving Makoto and Byakuya literally eating dust.

For a straight minute, there was only silence, until Makotos laugh started to creep in the air. Togami couldn’t help himself, as he too started to break down slightly in laughter. This school was crazy and they wouldn’t trade it for the world.

“…I think you licked the essence of the hobo's penis.”

“What?”

 


	58. Finality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikan realises that she can make a choice.

“Mikan, wake up.”

Waking up used to be too easy for Mikan Tsumiki. To avoid the wrath of her mother, the nurse would often be up two hours before she was meant too, but unfortunately, the dorms had made her slack.

“Mikan wake up.”

She’d only just gotten used to the feeling of being to wake up under her own power, and with that, it was ripped away from her as she felt her hair being grabbed, as her head was thrust upward.

“Mikan, you stupid whore, wake up!” She was thrown onto the floor with force, the loud bang echoing from around the house. The helpless girl yelped as she felt the bruise already start to form on her shoulder. To anyone else, that would’ve registered as an attack, but to Mikan that was just her mother. “I won’t have you tarnishing your attendance. It’s bad enough your staying out late with that _boy_ ”

Venom seeped from her mother’s tone told anyone in earshot all they needed to know about her thoughts on Mitarai. Mikan winced on the ground, prepared for an assault of kicks, only for it to never come. Her mother must’ve been tired that day.

“Get fucking going.” Was all she said back, as Mikan scattered to change. She’d realized early on that the only thing her Mother cared about was the lush potted plant that rested over the kitchen windowsill. Everyday, she spent hours on end clipping it and polishing its case.

Mikan never fells safe in the house. It’s drab, it’s grey, and there’s a tone of unease wherever she steps. Like, **wam** , she’s either gonna get a beating from her mother or _worse_ from her father.

Without even stopping to have lunch, Mikan bolts through the kitchen, giving her father not time to leer at her. She runs through the streets and stops halfway, crouching down on the sidewalk and letting the tears rain down on the asphalt.

She can never make it the full way.

* * *

 

“Ah, Imposter chip me!” Ryota said, motioning that he was going to try and catch one of Imposters flamin’ hot chips in his mouth. The wider boy launched the snack up in the air, only for it to hit Mitari in the nose, causing him to grab it in recoil of the heat, much to Imposters laughter.

“D-damn it.”

Mikan, who’d just arrived through the hallway, started to laugh too. Being around Mitari made her feel safe, in a way she hadn’t felt before. She gently walked into the Class 77ths area, still on edge from home.

Her heart skipped a beat as she observed Mitaris face fall when he saw her. Oh no, what if he’d gotten bored? Did he think it was time to end the relationship? Oh my god, it totally was. Wait, how long had he been planning this? How long had she been bothering him?

Instead of any of this, Mitari simply walked up to her, obscuring his face out of view from anyone else and whispered “are you Ok?”

She quickly realized he’d saw the red around her eyes, where tears had stained.

“I-I’m fine.”

“C-cool…ha, double stutter.” He smiled at her, and she couldn’t help but smile back.

“Mitarai, Mitarai, Mitarai, **hey!** ” He heard the chants of two voices singing, as he swung around to see Hajime and Nagito facing him.

“We still on for tomorrow?”

“Y-Yeah.”

“Cool. Hey, Tsumiki, you wanna come too?” Nagito asked.

“W-what too?”

“Us, Mitarai and Mahiru are going to the mall. If you wanna come with, we can make it an even six” Hajime stated simply, leaning back

“S-Sure.”

“Nice, see you there.”

* * *

 

This part was slightly unpleasant. They’d had to pick Mikan up, **from her home**. Luckily Mitarai was the only one sent to knock on the door (as the others loitered in the background), which was opened by her father, who gave some sort of indecipherable growl and shut it in Ryotas face.

After some screaming from the inside of the house, a shaken Mikan finally emerged through the door, walking slightly too fast for it to not be noticeable.

“Are y-you- “

“Let’s just go.” Mikan simply said, quickly stepping off the front porch and walking along the pavement with Mitarai by her side.

She was already embarrassed. Why were they like this?

* * *

 

“There’s a thing in photography, called rule of thirds, it’s where you try and take your images with the mindset of a three-by-three grid” Mahiru explained to Mikan, as the pair walked along in front of Hajime and Nagito.

“O-oh.” There was always something nice about having people to talk too, friends even. She knew they only did it out of pity, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t enjoy it all the while.

“And also- “

“No, there is zero room for debate here, I’m not taking the deal.” Hajimes raising voice cut Mahiru off suddenly, causing the girl to angrily throw a glare backwards.

“You’d really not take temporary omnipotence over having a regular sized head?” Nagito asked, seemingly bewildered.

“That’s an overstatement, you said one wish! So great, I wish for a million dollars, but now I look like I have a deflated balloon head.”

“Y-Yeah, Nagito, it’s not a fair trade.” Ryota added

“IT’S FOR ANYTHING YOU WANT!”

“What the hell are you going on about.”

Nagito seemingly took a liking to Mahirus tone, seeing her as a voice of reason.

“Mahiru, would you let a fairy shrink your head 35% in exchange for one wish.”

“Sure, I wish for my head to be 35% bigger after it shrinks.”

“No! You can’t do that; it’s forbidden in fairy law.”

“Wait, does that mean all fairies have 35% smaller heads?”

“That’s why their tiny.”

“…No then, that’s a horrible trade off.”

“ **Aah!** You guys don’t grasp the weight of the situation.”

“I do grasp the weight; you just aren’t listening. Nagito, if I offered to give you head deflation surgery right now, in exchange for a wish- “Hajime started his own rant, but he was just as quickly cut down.

“I’m gonna stop you right there, you don’t have the means of doing either of those things.”

“That’s not the point! The point is, right now, I have the ability- “

“No, no, no, that’s not realistic.”

“NEITHER ARE FAIRIES THAT SHRINK YOUR HEAD BY 35% IN EXCHANGE FOR A WISH!”

Mikan couldn’t help but star laughing, as the two continued to bicker.

* * *

 

“Kekkai Sensen or Boku No Hero…Kekkai Sensen or Boku No Hero” Ryota measured up the two heavy volumes of manga in his hand. Mikan just starred at him in wonder. It was like he was in his own little bubble when searching for books, oblivious to other people or even time.

As she stepped back to browse on her own, her foot slipped on the carpet, not enough to cause her to tumble over, but enough that the noise was able to shoot Mitarai awake.

“You want anything ‘Miki?”

She smiled at the pet name he’d come to give her. Funny to think it only existed because Mitarai misspoke.

“N-No, it’s fine. Mother doesn’t like me reading fiction anyways.”

She could tell that made Ryota mad, but he tried not showing it.

* * *

 

Mikan couldn’t stop shuffling in her seat. Ryota, Mahiru and Hajime had gone to get food for the group, leaving her with Nagito. Maybe it was just her nature, but she didn’t really feel safe here (or anywhere really) so keeping on edge was a good way to circumvent that.

“You’re shaking a lot.” He simply commented, tearing himself away from his drink.

“A-Ah sorry.” She whimpered.

“Don’t worry about it, I shuffle in my seat sometimes too.”

“T-then why a-aren’t you now? “

“Because I know Hajime and the others are just around there. It’s something people like you and me have to get used too. It’ll be hard to ever really be comfortable by yourself, but with friends…with friends, things are easy.”

“I-I guess t-that’s true.”

“Even if we are as bad as we say we are, there’s people in this world that think we aren’t”

The words stayed in Mikans memory even after they left.

* * *

 

“Well, we can go get dinner or something.” Mitarai reasoned. Mikan had just let it slip that she “didn’t want to go home.” She didn’t mean to say it; it’d just fallen out.

“Oh, did someone say dinner?” Hajime overheard the two speaking. “I’ll do dinner.” Mitarai smirked at Mikan, who wasn’t that dismayed at the prospect of staying out later either.

“No way, it’s already half past eight, my dad’ll kill me.” Mahiru said.

“Yeah, ‘cause your already an hour past your bedtime.” Hajime said, which earned a playful swat on the shoulder from the photographer.

“Shut up! Anyway, I’ll probably be going.”

“Nagito, You in?”

“Ah, my apologies Hajime, there’s construction being done near my house at midnight, and I’d prefer to get to sleep before it starts up again.”

“Well, guess it’s just us three then.”

* * *

 

The meal was alright. It was from some weird 24/7 diner place, where all the food tasted **slightly** like Styrofoam, but Mikan loved it anyway. Not only was she able to see Hajime more relaxed and mellow now that he and Nagito had been separated but she was able to just feel cozy for the first time in a while, but that became a problem, for as she and Mitarai waited patiently for the train, she couldn’t help but break down crying as she realized what lay ahead.

“’Miki? What’s wrong.”

“I-I-I’m sorry…I-I just really don’t w-want to go back…it’s selfish o-o-of me, please i-ignore it.”

It made Mitarai disgusted and powerless that she had to feel like this. Ryota never had to when he went home to his house. Although, to be fair, after moving away from both his parents across the country and his apartment here, there wasn’t anyone who could make him feel this way if they tried…hold on.

“Do y-you want to move in with me?”

Mikan froze for a bit, slowly taking in what she’d heard.

“B-but R-Ryota…w-why would you w-want someone like me a-around, I’m u-u-ugly and I’m an i-idi- “

“You’re wrong!” Ryota couldn’t help but yell over the top of her. “Uh, sorry. But it’s true, you’re pretty despite everything you go through, so you’re like double pretty and you’re really smart, and, uh…yeah.”

Both parties stayed silent, embarrassed at themselves, until Mikan finally spoke…

“O-okay.”

“Wait, really?”

“Y-Yeah, I just have to get my things.”

“Oh…”

“D-don’t worry, m-my parents will be asleep, I can s-sneak out.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll be f-f-fine.”

“You know the way, right?”

Mikan simply nodded her head, the adrenaline of what she was about to do beginning to become too much for her to handle.

* * *

 

Nursing gear? Check. Books? Check. Literally anything in her room? Check. Her breath was heavy, she could barley move, she’d been sitting here for the last fifteen minutes almost hoping for a reason not to leave to pop up, but there was nothing. Her parents were fast asleep.

Quietly and quickly, Mikan tip toed down the hall before her eyes rested on one thing…the potted plant. The one her mother loved more than anything in the world. Her hand acted on its own…

**_SMASH!_ **

Mikan had around five seconds to admire her handiwork, before the muffled confused voices of her parents started, and she bolted out the door. She ran and ran to the train stop, waiting and waiting for the train to come (and hoping her parents didn’t realize what had happened).

After a hasty ride, Mikan bolted towards Ryotas house, knocking on the door about a million times before it was thrown open.

“Hey! How’d it go?”

“G-great, I broke my M-mothers potted plant.”

“You what?”

“N-Nothing…do y-y-you have a b-bed anywhere, I-I-I’m feeling a bit f-faint.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, upstairs.”

Mitarai guided her up to the quainter second story, leading her to his room where she collapsed nearly immediately after hitting the mattress. 

“…Goodnight?”

* * *

 

“Aaah!” Mikan shot awake the next morning, the dread of her mother’s daily outburst not letting her get the sleep in, but slowly, as she realized where she was, the dread started to fade.

“Morning.” Mitarai said from the doorframe, cup of coffee in one hand, open manga in the other.

“G-Good m-morning.”

“You w-wanna go back to sleep?”

“…Yes.”

“I’ll be downstairs if you need a-anything.”

Mikan nodded before rolling over in the covers. She guessed what Nagito said was true…the right people were what made a difference.

…

Oh my god, sleeping was good.


	59. A Day In The Life Of Korekiyo Shinguiji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a reason Korekiyo thinks and acts the way he does.

Time was such a slow and debilitating inconvenience, one that people had to base their whole days around. Korekiyo always knew this, which is why he found it such a pain that he always had to get up early in the morning to appropriately dress.

It’s was inconvenient, but he reasoned inconvenience was what you got when you looked as good as him.

Aesthetics were an important part of Kiyos life, because he lived it. Korekiyos parents had not been especially financially fortunate, especially when considering his father’s travels and his sisters’ illness, meaning that the four had been living in a cabin deep in the woods for the last sixteen years of Korekiyos life.

While it added another bit of doom and gloom (the hour-long train ride to reach Hopes Peak), it wasn’t all bad. Korekiyo enjoyed the nature, the hushed colors of stormy days, the vibrant dark greens of summer. He awoke everyday to the smell of fresh water and pine. It was truly beautiful. 

“Korekiyo!” He heard an older voice call out to him as he walked across the dark clearing (as the slowly emerging sun turned the sky definitively overcast). A stumpy old man poked his head out of the wood log backing of the fence. “Off to school?”

“Yes, Mr. Cleary.” Mr. Cleary lived with his wife at the closest thing “next door” to Korekiyo (a ten-minute walk). They’d originally lived in Ireland, but relocated to the Japanese forests after retirement.

“See the game last night?”

“Of course.”

“Ah, what the fook’ is Nagoya doing?”

“I know, absolutely dreadful play.”

“You can say that again-hey, I best not be keeping ‘ya. See ya’ later Korekiyo.”

It was interesting how uplifting a sense of community felt, even when the “neighborhood” was so scattered.

* * *

 

Train rides were some of Korekiyos favorite parts of the day. He started his school day with a train ride, he ended his school day with a train ride. It was a great way to get a sense of conclusion.

The hour passed quickly, thanks to podcasts and reading material, causing Korekiyo to make the walk from the station to school.

Fantastic, he was an hour and a half early, which, unfortunately, meant the classroom was kind of a ghost town. Maki was in the corner of the room, headphones in (which was basically a big glowing “do not disturb” sign) and Kokichi at the back row, who was noticeably more reserved than usual, simply distracting himself by tapping on the table.

Slowly but surely, the class started to fill in. Ryoma unfortunately did not seem to attend today, which was a shame as he would consider the tennis player, his best friend, but there were a lot of people to talk too.

Korekiyo did not hate anyone in his class, in fact, it was the opposite. He held everyone in high regard.

“Aah, I’m so late.” A noticeably high-pitched voice said, belonging to Tsumugi, who was dashing into class, pencil case in mouth, and books almost falling out under her arms. Her hair was like a lighting bolt, shooting in all different directions, and she’d neglected to even wear her blazer.

“Bad sleep Shirogane?” Korekiyo mused as the girl took her seat next to him.

“What do you think?”

“Kukuku…I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“As a cosplayer…would you happen to know any botany shops?”

“…gonna be honest, I’m not seeing the connection here.”

“You’d need props.”

“Hmm…there’s a nice flower shop just a bit up from here, but I know that because I went with my mom. Why’d you ask?”

“I need flowers for a special occasion.”

“…can I get more information?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

Tsumugi went back to adjusting her pencil case, before awkwardly mumbling:

“Maybe I could come with you?”

Korekiyo didn’t quite know how to respond until he murmured "hmm, alright."

* * *

 

“Oh, wow, I love the blues on these.” Tsumugi said as she grabbed a small batch from the counter, the pair of students walking out towards the sidewalk.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Korekiyos snark took a while to sink in before Shirogane caught his drift.

“Hey, I introduced you to this place, so you better be grateful!”

“Kukukuku.” He laughed, as he picked up his flowers, a bubblegum mixture of light blues and pinks. “Seriously though Shirogane, I am **so** thankful for this. If there’s anything you need…”

“A date?” She blurted out, face going red as soon as she’d realized what she’d said.

“…E-excuse me?”

“You know, a date, like a pack of dates? No, actually n-n-not like that, a real date, but, ya know, a friend…date?” Tsumugi had never wanted to die more than this moment in time.

“Uh…I don’t know how to- “

“I-It’s only 5 o clock.”

“Jesus Christ it’s 5 o’clock?!” Korekiyos voice spiked louder than anything the cosplayer had ever heard before. “I apologize Shirogane, I must be going!”

“A-Alright, you do that.”

As the anthropologist rushed away to the train station, Tsumugi frustratedly groaned.

_How to Totally Creep Out Your Crush 101, Lesson by Tsumugi Shirogane_

* * *

 

It had been an interesting day, Korekiyo thought to himself, as he sat down on the train car. Once again, despite the long wait time, Korekiyo would always appreciate the “end of the day” feeling the train rides gave him, especially on a day like this.

Taking a detour at his stop, Korekiyo finds their graves, sitting perfectly angular to each other in the middle of the forest. It was the anniversary of his sister’s death today, so he lays the flowers down on the patch of dirt from which her tombstone uproots.

Every time Korekiyo’s down here, next to them, he feels his hope rise. Not out of some form of sick sadism, but because it puts things in perspective. The disease that was able to completely wipe out his family, didn’t pass on to him. After years of constant monitoring and check-ups, Korekiyo was somehow declared completely clean of the illness that had ran in his family for generations.

This is why, no matter what, everyday is beautiful. No matter the weather or the people or the steps taken. If he can enjoy life that way he wants to, then everything else is irrelevant.

With that, Korekiyo begins to walk away, not shedding a tear for his laying family, because he knows to waste even a moment of the opportunity he’s been given would be an insult to them.

He could not wait to do almost all of this again tomorrow.

 _Humanity is beautiful_ He thought.

 


End file.
